HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
What is Francis Scott Key's f greatest distinction "
"He knew all four verses of the 'Star-Spangled Banner."
Tencher: "You all know the proverb, All that glitters is not gol, so now give me an example.'
Pupil: "Your coat, sir."
Teacher: "What is the interest
"How did that restaurant man make so anuch_mousy,"
"He invented the process of cut- ting a pie into five quarters."
www.
Mrs. Jones: "Does your husbend help you with the dishes?"
Mrs. Smith: "Not any more. We found it cheaper to hire a maid"
I suppose the children of the
on 81,000 a year at 2 per cent? | neighbourhood, were much interest- lsane, pay attention
Isane: "For per cent I'm not. interested."
"Don't you think it's pretty bad' the way Yale is breaking through our line 1
"I don't think we ought to hold
3 that against thein.
-י
"Brown was married on twenty-ninth of February."
"Flow fortunate?"
"Why so
the
ied in the concrete walk you faid." "Uh, yes, they were there with both feet."
Buck... Can you give me a defini. tion of an orntor
Private: "Sure. He's the fellow who's always ready to lay down, your life for his country.
Mes. Tapp: "I've noticed that the farmers always have a man for a scarecrow."
Mr. Tapp: That's because they
"He can forget the anniversary,couldn't afford to dress a woman only once in four years.".
Teacher: Johnny, if five sheep. were in a field, and one jumped cut, how many would be left ?
Johnny: There wouldn't be any left. You might know arithmetic, but you don't know sheep??
Indulgent Father: "What's the matter, ear?'
Daughter: "Ted and I have part
ed forever.
Indulgens Father. "Oh! I sup- por he won't be around until to- morrow night!"
An influential Trenchman was asked to get a young fellow a Gov. ernment job. After some effort he reported that the Government. had no jobs.
"But can't you get him something temporary 12
"I might get him in the Cabinet,"
Wifey: "Dearest, the girls and I held little conference last night, and I was appointed as a com- mitter of one to wait upon you and find out just what Christmas present would give you the most genuine pleasure.
Now, please be perfectly frank and honest."
Fluxband: "A bundle of receipt- ed bills!"
]
! scarecrow,
engage
Housewife: "Before you, I will just give you a little Intelligence test!"
Jan: "Intelligence test? Why, I thought you wanted me to do the woking!
"Pamela says Jack came very night." vurar proposing to her the other
"Is that so?"
"Yes, he told her there was Д button off his coat.
Wiggs My wife is a wonderful vocalist, Why, I have known her to hold her audience for hours-"
Miggs: Get out!"
Wiggs: "After which she would lay it in the cradle and rock it. th sleep."
What is the secret of success 7′′ uski the Sphinx.
"Push," said the buttom. "Never be lead," said the Pencil., "Take pains." enid the Window. "Always keep cock" said the Ice. "Be up to date," said the Cal-
endar.
"Never use your head," said the Match.
Make light of your troubles," said the Fire.
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
15
112
N
14
18
19
122
23
127
$29
30
(3)
134
38
142
146
|47
4
:50
51
Horizontal.
1.-Porcelain ware.
6.-Long legged bird.
11.-To fail to follow suit.
13-Groaned.
14--Conjunction.
15.Raging stream.
17. Musical note,
18.-rssel.
90. →→Firepince.
21.-Marsh.
22-Father.
2-Era.
25.Goddess of discord.
20. Small houses.
2.Was in debt. 20.-String.
3-Woody plant.
3. --A colour:
22.-Hard wing-cover.
34. Small horse.
45.-To imitate.
36,--Only.
35.--To outfit.
5.-Quick tempered.
41.-Hurnana
42-Exists.
44.-Small pastries.
45.-By.
46.-Resigns.
48. Part of garment.
50.-Revises.
51.-Measuring device.
Vertical.
1.-Cuts short..
2.-Noble.
3.Within.
4.-Seine,
5. On the qui vire.
-Fruit of pine.
7-A rodent."
.8.-Article.
-Sea nymph. ·
10.-Pleasant gardens. -12.-Message.
13. To award.
35
144
fu--Tatters. 19-Following. 21-Liberty. 23. Black. 23-Pitchers.
-To annoy. e-Mouths.
20.-Essay. 31-Balanced. 32-Quarrel.
33. Tangled mass.
34-Self-esteem. 35.-Wiles.
3-Stage direction,
50.-Clubs.
12
40-Steering apparatus. 31-Hole in ground.
44.To observe,
47-Musical note. 49-French for sad.
10
37
This puzzle took 24 minutes to Kolve.
See, how long it will take
you to solve. it.
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
BAZ
1852
BOREAS
13
R
ORIS
ROT
ZVADER RIPEY
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, JANUARY 27, 1930.
SNAPSHOTS OF A MAN TAKING OFF THE ORNAMENTS
By GLUTAS WELUMS
SAYS HE'S GOT A FEW MINUTES, HE MIGHT AS WELL TAKE THE ORNA- MENTS OFF THE TREE.
STOPS TO SCRATCH SHOULDER BLADE WHERE ONE OF THE NEEDLES
HAS WANDERED UP.
GETS A CHAIR AND BEGINS ON THE BIG
RED BALL NEAR THE TOP
ATTACKS RED BALL WITH SUCH DETER-
MINATION HE LOSES BALANCE AND ALMOST PULLS TREE OVER,
(Copyright, 1930, by The Ball Syndicate, Inc.)
TO-DAY'S WIRELESS
PROGRAMME.
BROADCAST BY. Z.B.W. ON
355 METRES.
1 to 11.30 a.m.-Commercial nows. 19.30 to 1.30 p.m.-Demonstration
programme.
1.45 p.m.-Weather report.
. to € p.m.-Programme of Colum
bia records supplied by MessFS. Anderson
IMMEDIATELY GETS A SHOWER OF NEEDLES UP HIS SLEEVE.
GROWLS, TAKES FIRMER FOOTING AND BEGINS AGAIN
The Bohemian Girl Then You'l Remember Me" (Balfe, arr. (Seur) and Maritane-Scenes That Are Brightest (Wallace, J. H. Squire, arr. Sear), Celeste Octat. Prelude in C Sharp Minor" (achmaninoff, Op. 3 No. 3) and "Humoreske " (Dvorak, Op. 101, No. 7). Liberal Jewish Synagogue Organ, St. John's Wood, London. Played by G. T. Pattinan. "Maire, My Girl" (J. K. Carey
and G. Altken) and "The Bhilad Monger from the Song: of the Fair, Rex Palmer, Baritone with Piano.
Trovatore--Selection" (Verdi), Percy Pitt. Mignon-Selection,” New Queen's
Hall Light Orchestra. 10.30 p.m.-Close down.
Men of England, Short Patriotis).
Ode, Choir with Albert WI Ketelbey's Coneers Orchestra, Toccata (Boellann), Organ
Solo by Edouard Commette. Satisfied" (Ackley and Ackley) and Sail On (C. Gabriel), Sheila McKay" (McKenzie) and William Macwan, Tenor, with Organ and Violin.
"The Train That's Taking You
Home! (Will Fyffe),
Will
Fyfe, Scottish Comedian. "I'm In Seventh Heaves" and "Little Pal," Organ Solo by Terance Casey.
"Serenade Melancolique,
Violin
Solo by Naoum Blinder. La Gioconda: Dance of the Hours," Columbia Symphony
Orchestra.
LESSON SERMON.
FIRST CHURCH OF CHRIST. SCIENTIST, HONG KONG.
Leeson Permon in all Churches of Truth was the subject of the Christ, Scientist, on Sunday, Jaau-
nry 26.
The Golden Text was; + The truth of the Lord endureth for
6, to, 7′′ più.-Chinese programme. ever. Praise ye the Lor (Psalms 7.46 p.m.-Evening weather report,
3. p.m.-Programme of Columbia: 2).
pany.
"Give
of the Lord:
MUTTERS WHAT' WAS THE IDEA OF WIRING THIS ON SO YOU CAN'T GET IT" OFF IS REMINDED HE PUT IT ON HIM • SELF
RED BALL SUDDENLY COMES LOOSE, SLIPS THROUGH FINGERS AND SHATTERS IT- SELF ON FLOOR. DE- CIDES TO LEAVE TREE AS IT IS
1-4
ST. JOHN AMBULANCE
BRIGADE.
WEEKLY VACCINATION
RETURN.
The number of persons vaccinated free of charge-by members of the Ambulance Brigade, up to and including Thursday, January 93, is
as follow:-
Chinese Y.M.C.A. Divi-
ніоц
Indian Division
|
ANY LETTERS FOR
YOU?.
UNCLAIMED CORRESPON- DENCE, ETC., AT THE
G.P.O.
THE OFFICIAL LIST FOR
1. SATURDAY,
A General Post Office notification issued on Saturday, gives the following particulars with regard to unclaimed correspondence, etc., } waiting at the Post Office, and also unclaimed, radio telegrams at the Radio Telegraph Office :-
Poste Restante Correspondence. Mrs. A. M. Austin, W. Bills, G. G. Berinevitch, U. P. Bel, Master and Miss Boyd, Mrs. Irene Carroll, 1. Caplain, H. Lechmere Clift, Mrs. F. Cohen, E. M. Cotton, A. C. Davis. Alisa V. Forbes, J. Goyna, Mrs. L. Hicks, R. Hodgin, Inter- national Motor Car Co., R. L. Jones, Mrs. M. A. Jacob, J. M. Joseph, A. V. Lyen, Capt. T. Lowery, Manager (K.AFA. Spe- cials), Mrs. R. EI. Moore Mr. and Mrs. J. McLeod, Miss 6. McCune, Mis. 8. Nuwell' (e/o J. Watkins), EE. Nordgren (John N. Willys Export Corp.), Geo. E, Pan, I. C. de Prisgree, Mrs. J. F. Reed, Mrs. E. . Rees, Miss V, Rider. W. S. Sherey, A. Songco, Smith Son & Cc.. James Simpson, Miss C. W. Watson."
Unpaid Correspondence. Albert Brown (c/o H.K. Hotel), A. Singco.
Registered Articles. International Motor Car Co., Raphael Lobez, Capt. E. Place (5.5. Tại Wo, co Kwon Cheong Tri S.S. Co.), Wong Ching Wai-
"
UNCLAIMED RADIO TELEGRAMS.
Calmaco Mackenzie
Chitown.
Soerabaja. Shanghai. Canton.
Datsing.
Shanghai.
Koetaradja
San Francisco.
Hollow,
10,774
Address,
King's College Division
(Old)
4,053
1897 2430 6567 0204°0815. 1684
2400 ·5587 0003 2869
From.
Pakhni.
King's College Division
2189 4382 3281..
(New)
2,705
Djoengkee
Railway Division
1,501
0206.....
1413
Pursuit
Kowloon Division
18.153
Mongkok Division
33,000
3629 3060 5040 3141 0171.
Shaukiwan Division
4,175
2170
St.
Joseph's College Division
Hushhush
... Canton,
200
SinperFact
Motor Drivers' Aasocia-
tion División Cirincee Athletic
Dalehouse
1.917
Divi-
7115 3332 2032 20 7703 1344 -2464 1648
HTT
7,031
In Long
550
Y.W.CA Nursing. Divi
sion
Victoria Nursing Divi
sion
141
250
87,071
AVOID, and CURE COUGHS, COLDS,
SORE THROATS,
Vaccination operations will be repended for 10 days on account
of the China New Year Holidays.
Science and Health with Key to the Scripturce." by Mary Baker Fddy: Truth destroys falsity and
records supplied by Messis. Among the citations which com
prised the Lesson-Sermon was the Anderson.
The Lesson-Sermon also includ Follow Through-Vocal Gems," following from the Bible:
Columbia Light Opera Com-speak; and hear, earth, the the Christian Science text-book, car. Ose heavens, and I willed the following passages from Carmen The Toreador Song" Vards of my mouth. Because I will
(Bizet) and Tannhauser-publish the same Star of Eve" (Wagner), Harold ascribe ye greatness unto our God. He is the Rock,, his work is per- Williams. Cockney
wfect for all his ways are judg; Suite," Albert
ment; a God of truth and without Ketelhey's Concert Orchestra. "Pagliacci-Prologue" (Leoncaval-iquity, just and right in he"
(Deut. 32 1, 3, 4). lo) (in Italian), Armando Bor- giali (Baritone),
(Continued on next Column.)
error, for light and darkness cannot dwell together. Light extinguishes the darkness, and the Scripture de- clares that there is "no night there." To Truth there is no error,
all is Truth (R. 475).
BRONCHITIS, etc. by Taking VALDA PASTILLES
On Sale at all Chemista & Druggists. INSIST on the boxes bearing the name VALDA.
BIGGER & BETTER THAN EVER ASTHMA
CHRONICLE
and
DIRECTORY
for
1930
Now IN PREPARATION.
Sufferers from Asthma find in- stant mlief in this standard remedy of 60 years panding. At all chemists.
Himrod's
| ASTHMA CURE
To the, Publishers
"HONG KONG WEEKLY PRESS"
11, I HOUSE STILLET, HONG Koxu
Please send me the
HONG KONG WEETLY PRESS "
from ......... 1929 i
addressed as follows:-
BURSCHIPTION PAID IN ADVANCIL $13.00 per annum for delivery in Hong Kong.
$15.00 per annum to any part of the world (including postage)
QUEEN'S
THE GREATEST OF
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200
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Words of Song Hits are available at Chocolate Stalls of Theatre,
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At 230, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
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WORLD
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Annie Laurie
*Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
LECTURA. —
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
"
At 240 & 7.15-Interpreter. At 5.15 & 9.20-Orchestra.
STAR
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presents
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The SENSATIONAL, NEW STAR
WILD WEST ROMANCE
TO-DAY at 5.80 Only.
At 9.15-GALA CONCERT]