1940-05-24 — Page 13

Friday,

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH.

MAGAZINE

GRIN AND BEAR IT

By Lichty

VICTOR DAY MEDICINS

"Don't contradict me, young man-I've been ailing for 20 years and ought to know what's wrong with me!”

3,000 Miles Of Frontier- And No Guns

IN

these days of Maginot and Sieg- fried Lines It is refreshing to find n frontier over 3000 miles long where there it not a single fort or gun-emplacement, The border be- tween the U.S.A. and Canada is a monument to the commonsense of two great democracles.

Extending from New Brunswick in the east to Vancouver in the west, the frontler runs along part of the St. Lawrence River, through ́all the great Inkas save Lake Michigan, across the prairies, over the Rockies and the Sierra Neva- das.

In many of the wider sections not a strand of wire marks the line where Canadian soil ends and American begins.-----

Although this great frontier is guarded by ng military means, it is constantly patrolled. But the num- ber of men engaged-3000-can hardly be called excesive,

Patrol

is necessary to stop smuggling, and to prevent legal entry. Neither the States nor Canada wants "un- desirables" from the other side.

Like Season Tickets

So long as proper credentials àre forthcoming and there are no sus- pletous circumstances, people have no trouble in passing from the US.A. to Canada and vice versa. In placca hundreds of men cross the border daily to and from their work, The authorities provide them with passes available for so many days or weeks. The workers merely show these, like -season ticket holders at a railway station. At Detroit thousands of Canadians who are engaged in the American automobile factories trons by menns of the ferries.

At the time of the great depres- slon many people tried to pass il- legally from one side of the frontier to the other, Both to Canadians and Americans "the other side" looked more · Inviting- than their own, and patrols adopted a special technique of questioning, which rarely failed to bowl out the illegal entrant,

A Canadian would claim to be an American, whereupon he would be asked some such questions as the name of the mayor of his na- tive town. He might have fired at him the question, "Where did you buy that suit you're wearing?"" If he replied "New York," the patrol- man would throw back the collar

But surely, just a

and look for the maker's name on the tab. A Canadian manufac- turer's name would send the man packing.

Loft On Tha Bridge One of the places where men used to try to cross the frontier "was the famous Peace Bridge over the Niagara River, Cases occurred where men were allowed to enter the Canadian end of the bridge on their-statement that they were Americans returning to their own country, but having reached the American authorities at the other end, were refused permission to enter, Then, of course, they would not be allowed back into Canada and had to stay on the bridge. At -one-lime-men-stayed on the bridge for several days, food being taken to them by friends.

Eventually the two authorities hit on the idea of tossing a coin for men whose antecedents could not be ascertained. "licads he's ours: lafls he's yours." the Canadians would say, and the

nation- ality was decided accordingly,

Visitors travelling by CHTS have 110 such unpleasant manoeuvres, The customs authori-

train or in

ties arc adept at examining care speedily, and run them over mir- rors to see that no packages are lashed to the undercarriage. Such formalities as there are take place smoothly on the trains, especially those travelling from New York to Chicago by way of Niagara. In fact, most such trains are halted at a convenient spot so that tourists can view the Falls for Afteen minutes or so.

In-the-West there are places where ranchés straddle the border And ranch hands may cross and re- cross a dozen times a day. In the Rockles and Sierras deep canyons and Impenetrable gulches provide

natural barrier, and there are lonely border heights which have never been trod by any moun- taineer, much less a patrolman.

From time to time the sugges- tion arises that Canada should be united to the U.S:A. Two

years ago, for instance, a resolution to that effect was put forward in the United States House of Representn- tives. But both countries get on so well together and there la so Ittle friction that such suggestions arouse hardly a flicker of interest on either side.

D. R. Fielding

-Never neglect a scratch-however smali.— The moment the skin is broken a path for germs is opened.

Use Dettol at once. It is a weapon against infection. Yet for all in high germicidal efficiency, it is

scratch.staining, non-polson-

ous, even pleasant to smell.

DETTOL

TEATE A '1

THE MODERN ANTISEPTIC

[DETTOL

ON PATROJ Z

IN

DESTROYER

By a British Naval Eyewitness

AT-SEA

We slipped from our buoy and steamed out to sea for our night's patrol in the grey bleakness of the winter after noon. Other destroyers went with us.

The wind raised a confused jobble of leaping white horses outside the harbour entrance.

One felt the ship kick n little as she met the first. of them.

For the next 18 hours, until we returned to harbour, she was never still.

Steaming at 20 knots, we passed a convoy of bluff-bowed merchant ships making up for their anchorage before dark. On one of the shoals to starboard lay two broken-backed wrecks with the ren breaking over them, victims of U-boot, mines or torpedoes.

The first lleutenant, somewhere in the middle twenties, camo climb- Ing on to the bridge to report the ship darkened. Our depth charges were ready, our guns manned for instant action.

"Shall we have the torpedo tubes traincout now, -sir?"—the Grst- lieutenant asked the commander. Yes, Number One." The com mander, a tall figure in a duffic coat and sen-boots, with the in- evitable glasses slung round his neck, added urbanely, "Please do." That's a way they have in the Navy.

•

ONCE out

from the land, the wind grew stronger, and the sea more steep and confused, probably because a strong tide and wind were running in opposite directions. Whiffs of spray came sweeping

the over bows, and on the open bridge it

was bitterly cold, The light of a winking buoy showed away in the darkness, to port. The navigator, bending down to look along the compass, noted its bearing, and then dived down lo crouch under the canvas cover of the chart table.

"We're on the position now, sir," came his muffled voice after an fa- terval. The

course is oh- eight-four

new

"All right," the commander re plied. "Bring her round to oh- eight-four, Mr. Carver,"

The officer put his mouth_to-the- voicepipe communicating with the wheelhouse below,

"Starboard fifteen," he ordered. "Starboard Afteen. It is, sir," from the quartermaster at the wheel.

fidships," atte

after an Interval ten-steady on oh-eight-

"Stendy at oh-eight-four," come the. voice of the quartermaster. The darkness had become intense, Astern I could only just see the black shapes of two of the des troyers following in our wake.

SEVERAL Umes during that king night I groped my way aft or for- ward along the darkened upper deck, picking my way foot by fost through the many encumbrances which threatened to throw me headlong.

Out on the bleak, windswept deck, the men at the guns, torpedo tubes and depth charges relieved cach other at regular Intervals,

Down below in the engine room and stokeholds they were luckler, at least tolerably warm. On deck wo were chilled to the very mar TOW W this adventure?

were

AB through that night Wo steamed to and fro on a patrol lire. whose exact locality cannot be dis- closed. We

Istening for enemy submarines with that un- canny Invention which has already been referred to by Mr. Winston Churchill as "producing the dead- Best results," but we sighted, or located, no more than one neutrai steamer showing her lights, and a buoy or two,

As the commander himself ob- served in small hours of the morning, while sipping steaming ZA the charthouse, it was

luck. largely a matter

In any case, a good many thou sands of miles must be steamed by MARY hunters for every U-boat that is attacked or sunk. It's just hard, gruelling work, a job that

Солев

The

has to be done-and the Navy doer it with calm emciency --NANA

STOCK-MARKET REPORT

Hongkong Stock: Exchange Oficiál Summary Issued yesterday unya:

Conditions remain quiet.

Buyers

H.K. Banks $1,330 HK Govt 4% Loan $102

Sellers

Docks R.50.20

Salce H.K. Banks $1;325/85:

-Union=3ns-9405–

Provident 434

"Lands $34 -

Krams 1001

China Lights (OMA).

Electrica $6934

May 24, 1940.

PAGE Parable

THE

ست

SEVEN

HITLERS By Walter

"WELL" I SAID, "It's thirsty weather! what about

another Inger, Adolf"

Of course I admit that my little, japa, was In the worst of taste, seeing that the man I was yaming with was obvi- ausly a German, and that he had a tiny moustache and a wisp of hair running down to the south-east of his forehead; but I had no mall- elous Intention. He was 'a liccable chap, and I had no thought of la- sulting him; I was quite unprepared for the extraordinary effect of my poor little joke.

His Ince went suddenly us while us paper; for a moment he seemed to freeze with terror; then his eyes darted to all the points of the com- pass, in search of a possible enves- dropper. Luckily we had the bar to ourselves, the landlord having gone out into the yard to feed his fowls. At last the man found als voice. "Hundred thousand devils, he said husklly, how did you and out? How did I find out what?" "How did you know that I was Adolf Hiller?!

It was now my turn to be ter- rifled, for the

man was plainly u lunatie, with, for all I know, homi cidal

understand tendencies, 1 that in every asylum in the world there is at least one patient who believes himself to be Adolf H- ler; but to meet such a person it large in Dead Dingo Swamp was a staggering surprise. But I' TO- membered that you should always agree with a lunatic, whatever his delusions may be; so I merely sald Roothingly, "Oh, I've seen lots of portraits of you in the papers."

leaned toward me and said, almost in a whisper, "You may be right. Who can tell? Sometinies I think I am Hiller, and sometimes I Incline to think otherwise; I can- not

be certain." This statement nade me surer than ever that I was

But sane enough to read my thoughts. "You think I am mad, my friend, Ach, but listen, and i shall explain." And he proceeded to make the following amazing statement, which

dealing with maniac.

was

Murdoch

ilon another lagar?-you will now see why so many people say that Herr Hitler's character is an enig- ma. Naturally, Since you have to deal not with one Hitler, but with seven. For example, innocent per- sons wonder how any one human being can break. so many promises as our Adolf has broken in the last two

years. Nobody

could, of but

Adolf Number One can course; make a promise which Adolf Num- ber Two can break: It was Num- ber Six, if I remember rightly, who swore that he

fere with Awe would never, inter

at

being quite un-

aware that Number Two was going to annex Austrin on the follow- ing day. I

myself had the

honour of meeting your Herr Chamberlain Munich last year. A verÝ omlable

and affable gentleman I found him: quite Aryan, and al- most Nordic; I had not the heart to refuse to promise anything he asked for, and even to sign a solemn compnet with him. How was I to- tell that, at the moment when I was laying my hand on my heart and swearing to respect the indepen dence of Czecho-Slovakia, Number Four was geiling-rendy to march into that country? I trust you will see that there was no breach of faith here. One Hitler did what another Hitler had promised not to do. That was all.

us

The arrangement is, I admit, puzzling for outalders, who are never sure which of the seven is speaking. Each of

has his special job. Number One ramps and raves and screams for the bene- flt of the mob, which adores that kind of oratory; when an intelli- gent audience has to be addressed, Number Two, with his quiet and reasonable style, is the man for their money. Number Three is our pacillat-on holiday just at present

tells the world, quite honest- ly, that he desires peace at any price; while Number Four special- ises in persuading the German people that peace degrades the soul of a nation and that in war lles the salvation of mankind. Herr Cham- for what it may be worth. I shall berlain and Hern Halifax have de- not set down--the little bits-of-clared-that-in-future they cannot broken English or the queer idiomy by which he betrayed his foreign origin,

pass on to you

YOU have, of course, heard of Hitler's double. All the world understands that there is some- body, very like Hitler, who takes the Leader's place on varlous public occasions-especially on oc- casions when the police have given warning that an attempted-assas aination is to be feared. But the public, as usual, knows only hall of the truth, or, to be more exact, one-sixth,

"It was in 1935 that Herr Hitler, after a very narrow escape from bomb,

the necessity of a double. A public proclamation was made, to the effect that a glorious service could be rendered to the Improved Fatherland by anyone se divinely favoured as to possess face and figure closely resembling those of the Fuehrer. If such fortunate being existed, he was lo present himself at a certain offer In Munich at noon on the following Wednesday.

after down on

the day

It. Soon the square outside the

office was one compact and seething mass of candidates, battling for a place near the office door. They all seemed to be

anxious to

render a giori intence to the ber

*

service to

loved Fatherland, which, by the way, handsome salary was attached. I tell you, it was an impressive sight, this large- square full of Hitlers: a sight which might well have struck terror inte the hearts of our country's enemies. For three days and three nights a committee of expert Hitlerologis scrutinised applicants as if through a microscope, noting the minutesf shades of difference.. One was re Jected because his eyelashes were

· 100 long, another because his thumbs were too broad, another because ho looked too Intelligen!; small gestures, little tricks of speech, everything was taken into account. In the end, to cut a long story brick as you English say,: sir of us survived the ordenl; it was an-- nounced that Herr Hitler's mother, would be at a loss to distinguish any of us six. from ber divinely- gifted offspring.

"How_to_choose between us wij the dimculty, and when we were about to draw lots as the only possible solution of the problem, Adolf himself had an inspiration, He said that slice six perfect coples of himself had been miraculously vouchsafed to Germany by the good German God, it would be a manifest implety not to take ou vantage of the gift. And so, the whole alx of us went off to Berch tesgaden to receive our training. It is still our headquarters, to which we repair for rest and refreshment when duty does not call us elso- whither. We are known to one.

trust a word Herr Hitler anys, This is very unjust, as you now perceive, Which Herr Hitler do they mean?

THE arrangement has worked beautifully on the whole, but there Is one awkward feature of it. It was impressed upon us at the start that to act a part really well one must think oneself into that part; The great actor really-belloves, for iime. that he is the person he

The

is imitating. The Fuchrer himself lectured us about this on our very first day at Berchtesgaden. You

must drop your separate Identities! he told us: "you are no longer rich or Wilhelm or Hermann or Johann; you are all Adolfs. Each of you must faithfully drill him- self into the belief that he is in very truth Adolf Hitler. Only so will you be able to play the part convincingly, so that anyone who throws a bomb at you will feel cer- tain that he is throwing a bomb at Me. This was an unpleasant way of putting it, but we did as he com- manded. We did

thoroughly that soon none of us knew which of us was the real Adolf Hitler and which of us were consummate actors. That is what I meant by saying that I am in doubt about my own identity. Am I the original Adolf Hitler or somebody cise whose name I have forgotten?!" the latter, is the original Adolf still alive or was he assassinated some years ago? You see, several of us have fallen victims to the intelli- gence of the German people; other doubles have had to be called in to all the vacant places. It is all very confusing.

"BUT on the whole, as I say, the system works beautifully; and one result of. It,' which you may not. have thought of, is that Hiller is Immortal. You cannot kill him. When you kill one of the soven. another instantly stepa Into his place. If you had seen

that crowded Munich square you would understand that Germany inexhaustible supply of Hitlers— not perhaps sucli perfect replicas ng we six were, but near enough.

has an

"And now. you ask why I am here. Well, I shail tell you. It was 1 Number Five, who so nar rowly escaped that bomb in the beer hall at Munich the other day.

· (And talking: about beer halls, an- other glass would do us no harm, yes?). It was too much for me. I lost my nerve. The Germans are a patient people, but they are also. Intelligent. There will be another bomb for me before long. I have a weak heart; this life is too dan-. gerous for me. And so I. blush to say, I forsook the Fatherland and escaped to the other end of the world; I; Adolf, Iller-or not, as the case may be have come to Australia as a refugee. I have al-

* another not by name, but number,・・ ways" been glad there were coun- I am Number - Five-was, rather, tries, that' were kind”; to refugees, +Alll-circumstances:srove-me la sellistAsastrella-is-machiaticountry All refuge in Australia, the same, I trust you not to betray

Canson BechSTOLE MA Ffmy woɑret; for it is useless to 'pren

¿wills now understaffd, mytí tónd that I should be popular olaḥ

you. mendon Dead Dingo, Swamp.c

flear ■lf-did- I hear

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