Friday,
HONGKONG TELEGRAPH
May 24, 1940.
Fr
MAGAZINE
GRIN AND BEAR IT
By Lichty
125
"HEDALLUE"
"Don't contradict me, young man-I've been aiting for 20 years and ought to know what's wrong with mo!"
3,000 Miles Of Frontier-
Guns And No
IN
these days of Maginot and Sieg- fried Lines it is refreshing to And a frontier over 3000 miles long ~where there-fa-ndb-a-single forter gun-emplacement. The border be- tween the US,A. and Conada is a monument to the commonsense of two great democracies.
Extending from New Brunswielt in the east to Vancouver in the west, the frontier runs along part of the St. Lawrence River, through all the great lakes save Lake Michigan, across the prairies, over the Rockles-and-the-Serra Neva das.
In many of the wilder sections hot a strand of wire marks the line where Canadian soll ends and American begins.
Although this great frontier is guarded by no military means. It is constantly patrolled. But the num ber of men engaged-3000-enn hardly be called excessive.
Patrol
is necessary to stop smuggling, and to prevent illegal entry. Neither the States nor Canada wants "un- desirables" from the other side,
Like Season Tickets
So long as proper credentials are forthcoming and there are no aus- pleious circumstances, people have no trouble in passing from the U.S.A Canal and vice versa, In places hundreds of men cross the border daily to and from their work. Elle
uthorities provide
them with passes available for so many days or weeks. The workers merely show these, like season ticket holders at a railway station, At Detroit thousands of Canadians who are engaged in the American automobile factories cress by means of the ferries.
At the time of the great deprès- sion many people tried to pass 11- legally from one skle of the frontier to the other. Both to Canadians and Americans "the other side" looked more inviting than their own, and patrols adopted a special technique of questioning. which rarely failed to bowl' out the
legal entrant.
A Canadian would claim to be un American, whereupon he would be asked some such questions as the name of the mayor of his na- live town. He might have fired at him the question, "Where did you buy that suit you're wearing?" If he replied "New Yorit," the patrol- man would throw back the collar
and look for the moker's name an the, lab. A Canadian manufac- turer's name would send the man -packing~~
were
Left On The Bridge One of the places where men used to try to cross the frontier was the famous Peace Bridge over the Nlogara River. Cuset occurred where men were allowed to enter- the Canadian end of the bridge on their statement that they Americans returning to their own country but having reached the American authorities at the other end, were refused permission to enter. Then, of course, they would not be allowed back into, Canada and had to stay on the bridge. At one time men slayed on the bridge for several days, food being taken to them by
no
friends. Eventually the two authorities hit on the idea of tossing a coin for men whose antecedents could not be ascertained. "Heads he's ours; tails he's yours," the Canadians tyould
I say, and the man's nation- allty was decided accordingly.
Visitors travelling by train or in cars have
such unpleasant manoeuvres. The customs nuthuri- ties are adept at examining speedily, and Tun them over mir- rors to see that no packages_nre lushel to the undercarriage. Such formalities us there are lake place smoothly on the trains, especially those travelling from New York to Chicago by way of Niagara. In fact, most such trains are halted at a convenient spot so that tourists can view the Falls for fliteen minutes or so.
cars
In the West there are places where ranches straddle the border and ranch hands may cross and re- cross a dozen times a day. In the Rockies and Sierras deep canyons and Impenetrable gulches provide a natural barrier, and thore are lonely border heights which have never been trod by any moun taineer, much less a patrolman.
From time to time the sugges- tion arises that Canada should be united to the U.S.A. Two years ago, for instance, a resolution to that effect was put forward in the United States House of Representa- tives. But both countries got on so well together and there is so Ittle friction that such suggestions arouso hardly a flicker of interest on either side.
D. I Fielding
Never neglect scratch-however small. The moment the skin is broken a path' for germs is opened.
But surely, just a scratch.ning, non-polson-
Use * Dettol at once. It is a weapon" against infection. Yet for all its high germicidal efficiency, it is
ous, even plesuant to smell.
'DETTOL
ANTISEPTIC
DETTOL
THE MODERN
stries (China) Ltd., Hong Kong
ON PATROL
IN A
PAGE
Parable
DESTROYER THE SEVEN
HITLERS
By a British Naval Eyewitncas
AT SEA..
We slipped from our buoy and steamed out to sea for our night's patrol in the grey bleakness of the winter after- noon. Other destroyers went with us.
The wind raised a confused jobble of leaping white horses outside the harbour entrance.
One felt the ship kick n little as she met the first of them.
For the next 18 hours, until we returned to harbour, she was never still.
Steaming at 20 knots, we passed in convoy of bluft-bowed merchant ships making up for their anchorage before dark. On one of
the shoals to starboard lay two broken-backed wrecks with the sen breaking over them, victims of U-boat, mines torpedoes.
or
The Brst lleutenant, somewhere in the middle twenties, eume climb- ing on to the bridge to report the ship darkened. Our depth charges were rendy, our guns inanned for Instant action.
"Shall we have the torpedo tubes truined
out now, sir?" the first lieutenant asked the commander.
"Yes, Number One, The com- mander, a tall Agure in a dulc coat and sen-bouls, with the in- evitable glasses sling round his neck, added urbanely, "Please do." That's
way they have in the Navy.
ONCE out from the land, the wind grew stronger, and the sea more sleep and confused, probably becatu strong ide und wind were running in opposite directions. Whiffs of spray came sweeping over the bows, and on the open bridge it was bitterly cold.
The light of a winking buoy showed away fa the darkness to port. The
navigator, bending down
to look along the compass, noted its bearing, and then dived down crouch under the canvas-cover. of. the chart table.
"We're on the position now, sir," cume his muified volce after an in- terval. - "The new course is oh- eight-four."
"All
right," the commander re- plied
"Bring her round___to_oh_ eight-four, Mr. Carver." 1
The officer put his mouth to the volcepipe communicating with the wheelhouse below.
Starboard Afteen he ordered "Starboard fifteen It is, sir." from the quartermaster at the, wheel.
"Midships," after an
interval. "Port. ten-steady oh-eight-
four
the
on
"Steady at oh-eight-four," came voice of the quartermaster. The darkness had become intense Astern I could only just see the black shapes of two of the des. troyers following in our wake.
SEVERAL times during that long night I groped my way aft or for- ward along the darkened upper deck, pleking my way foot by foot through the many encumbrances which threatened to throw headlong.
bleak, windswept deck, the men at the guns, torpedo tubes and depth charges relieved each other at regular Intervals,
Out on the
mc
Down below in the engine room and stolecholds they were luckier, at least tolerably war
warm.
On deck we were chilled to the very mar row. Was this adventure?
All through that All
night steumed to and fro on a patrol liar whose exact locality cannot be dis- clused. Wo were listening for enemy submarines with that un- canny invention which has already been referred to by Mr. Winston Churchill as "producing the dend- liest results," but we sighted, or located, no more than one neutral steamer showing her lights, and a buoy or two.
As the commander himself ob- served in the small hours of the morning, while sipping steaming COCOR in the charthouse, It was largely a matter of luck.
In any case, a good many thou- sunds of miles must be steamed by many hunters for every U-bont that is attacked or sunk. It's Just hard, gruelling work, a job that has to be done-and the Navy, does it with calm efficiency.N.ANA,
STOCK MARKET
REPORT
Hongkong Stock Exchange Official Summary issued yesterday says;
Conditions remain quiet.
Buyers
H.K. Banks $1,330 H.K. Govt 4% Loan $102
Selleri
Docks Ris $8.20
Salts H.K. Banks $1,320/35 Union Ins $455 ° Pravidents $39% Landa, 333
Train $16 'China, Lightne
Electrics $30%2
"WELL." I SAID, it's thiraty weather! what about another lager, Adolf?"
Of course 1 admit that my little jape was in the worst of taste, seeing that the man I was yarning with was obvi. ously a German, and that, he had a tiny moustache and wisp of hair running down to the south-enst of his forehead; but I had no ball- clous intention. He was a likeable chap, and I had no thought of in- sulting him; I was quite unprepared for the extraordinary effect of my pour ilttle joke.
His face went suddenly as white as paper; for a moment he seemed to freeze with terror; then his eyes. darted to all the points of the com- pass, in search of a possible eaves- dropper. Luckily we had the bar to ourselves, the landlord having gone out into the yard to feed hii fowls. At last the man found his voice. "Hundred thousand devils," he suid huskily, "how did you find out?" "How did I find out what "How did
you know that I was Adolf Hitler?"
It was now my turn to be ter- rifled, for the man was plainly a lunatic, with, for all I knew, homi- cidal tendencies. 1 understand that in every asylum in the world there is at least one patient who belleves himself to be Adolf Hit- ler: but to meet such a person at large in Dead Dingo Swamp was a staggering surprise. But I re membered that you should always agree with a lunatic, whatever hits sald,
delusions may be; so I merely soothingly, ON I've ren lots of portraits of you in the papers."
He leaned toward me and said, almost in a whisper, "You may be right. Who can tell? Sometimes
I am Hitler, and sometimes think I
incline to think otherwise; I can. nol be certain."
This
statement made me surer than ever that I was dealing with a maniac. But he was sanc enough to rend
my thoughts. "You think I am mad, my friend. Ach, but listen, and shall explain," And he proceeded rake the following amazing statement, wbleh I pass on to you for what it may be worth. I shall not Get down the little bits of broken English or the queer inloms by which he betrayed his foreign -origin:
to
"YOU have, of course, heard of Hitler's double. All the world understands that there in some
body, very like Hitler, who takes the Leader's place On varlaus public occasions-especially on oc- ensions when the police have given warning that an attempted assas sination is to be teared. But the publle, as usual, knows only half of the truth, or,-to-be-more-exact, one-sixth.
"It was in 1935 that Herr Hitler, after a very narrow escape from t bomb, saw the necessity of double. A public proclamation was made, to the effect that a glorious service could be rendered to the improved Fatherland by anyone zo divinely favoured as to possess a face and figure closely resembling those of the Fuchrer. It such a fortunate being existed, he was to present himself at a certain offico in Munich at noon on the following Wednesday.
"Soon after dawn on the day uppointed, the square outside the office was one compact and seething mass
of candidates, battling for a place near the office door. They nil seemed to be intensely, noxious to render a glorious service to the be loved Fatherland, service
to which, by the way, a handsome salary was attached. I tell you, was an impressive sight, this large square full of Hitlers; a sight which might well have struck terror Into the hearts of our country's enemies. For three days and three nights a committee of expert Hitlerologists scrutinised applicants as it through
microscope, noting the minutest shades of difference, One was re- jected because his eyelashes were 100 long, another because his thumbs were too broad, another because he looked too intelligent; small gestures, Httle tricks of speech, everything was taken into. account. In the end, to cut a long story brief as you English say, alx of us survived the ordeal; it was on- nounced that Herr Hiller's mother would be at a loss to distinguish any of us six from her divinely- gifted offspring.
By Walter Murdoch
tton another läger?-you will now see why so many people say that Herr Hitler's character is an enig- ma. Naturally, since you have to deal not with one Hitler, but with seven. For example, innocent per- Kons wonder how any one human being can break so many promises as our Adolf has broken in the Inst two
could, years. Nobody
of course; but Adolf Number One can make a promise which Adolf Num- ber Two can break. It was Num- ber Six, 11 I remember rightly, who swore that he would never, inter- fere with Austria, being quite un- aware that Number Two was going to annex Austria on the follow- ing
day. myself had the honour of meeting your Herr Chamberlain nt Munich last year. A very amlable and affable gentleman I found him; quite Aryan, and al- most Nordie: I had not the heart asked for, and even to sign-u to refuse to promise anything he solemn com compact with him. How was I to tell that, at the moment when I was
laying my hand on my heart arid swearing to respect the indepen- dence of Czecho-Slovakin, Number Four was getting ready to march into that, country? I trust you will see that there was no breach of faith here. One Hitler did what another Hitler had promised not to
do. That was all.
"The arrangement is, I hdmit, puzzling for outsiders, who
are never sure which of the seven is speaking. Each of us has his special fab. Number One ramps and raves and screams for the bene- it of the mob, which adores that kind of oratory: when an intelli- gent audience has to be addressed, Number Two, with his quiet and reasonable' style. is the man for their money. Number Three is our pacifiston holiday just at present who tells the world, quite honest- ly. that he desires pence at any price; while Number Four special- ises In persunding the German people that peace degrades the soul of a nation and that in war lies the salvation of mankind, Herr Chur- berlain and Herr Halifax have de- clared that in Auture they cannot trust a word. Herr Hitler says. This is very unjust, us you now -perceive.--Which Herr-Hitler-do- they mean?
"THE arrangerment has worked beautifully on the whole, but there is one awkward feature of it. It was Impressed upon us at the start that to act a part really well one must think oneself into that parti the great actor really believes, for the time, that he is the person he is imitating. The Fuehrer himself lectured us about this on our very first day at Berchtesgaden. 'You must drop your separate identities,* he told us; "you are no longer Hela- rich or Wilhelm. or Hermann or Each Jobann; you are all Adolfs. of you must faithfully drill him- sell into the belief that he is in вель very truth Adolf Hitler. Only so will you
be able to play the po convincingly, so that anyone throws a bomb at you will feel cer- tain that he is throwing a bomb at Mc. This was an unpleasant way of putting it, but we did as he com manded. We did it so thoroughly that soon none of us knew which of us was the real Adolf Hitler and which of us were consummate actors. That is what I cant by saying that I am in doubt about my own identity. Am I the original Adolf Hitler or somebody else Ir whose name I have forgotten? the latter, is the original Adolf still alive or was he assassinated some years ago? You see, several of us have fallen victims to the intelli- gence of the German people; other doubles have had to be called in to fill the vacant places. It is all very confusing.
"BUT on the whole, as I say, the system works beautifully: and one result of it, which you may not have thought of, is that Hitler is Immortal. You cannot kill him. When you kill one of the seven. another instantly steps into his hod scen that place. If you crowded Munich square you would understand that Germany bas on Inexhaustible supply of Hitlers not perhaps such perfect replicas as we six were, but near enough.
"And now you ask why I am here. Well, I shall tell you. It "How to choose between us was was I, Number Five, who so nar- the difficulty, and when we were rowly escaped that bomb in the about to draw lots as the only beer hall at Munich the other day. possible solution-of-the-problem,(And talking about beer. halls, an... Adolf himself, had an inspiration.. He said that since six perfect coples of himself had been intraculously vouchsafed to Germany by the good German God, it would be a manifest Implely not to tako ad vantage of the gif. And so, the whole aix of us went off to Berch- tesgaden to receive our training, is still our headquarters, to which we repair for rest and refreshment' when duty' does not call un-oises. whither. We are known to one another not by name, but number. I am Number. Five-was, rather,. till circumstances drove me to seek refuge in Australia,teady
derstand, my dear air did I hear you men
other glass would do tus no harm. I yes?). It was too much for me. lost my nerve. The Germans are a patient people, but they are also
another intelligent. There will bomb for me before long. I have a weak heart; this life la too dan- gerous for me. And so I blush to Bay, 1 fornock the Fatherland and escaped to the other end of the world; 1, Adolf Hitler-or not, as to the cone may be-hava come Australia as a refugee. I have al- ways been glad there were coun- tries that were kind to refugees. Australia is such
n country. Al
the same. I trust you not to betray my, secret; for it is useless to pre- Land that loxhould he popular In....
Dead Dingo Bwamp,"
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