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THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH. MONDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1933,

liticians, remarks an Australian Journal, spank as if easier times meant another "boom", but a

VAUXHALL boom (in the politician's sense

IS TAKING A RISE

THIS YEAR STRAIGHT UP THE SKY SEEMS TO BE

THE LIMIT.

G.B.S. AND U.S.A. The Very Idea!

By MILTON BRONNER

of the word) is the worst thing that could happen to Australia поч. For years there ought to

A cat may look at a king. At In May, 1928, he called upon be a steady plodding, with Gov- crnment expenditure rigidly re-least there in a proverb that says Adolphe Menjou, the film star, who told Shaw he ought really to visit atrained and greatly reduced. so.

But America, the cat which has the United States as the folka High taxation is hampering pri- vate enterprise, but it is main-been the special target for George would be crazy about him. To ly to private enterprise that the Bernard Shaw's verbal brickbats for which Shaw blandly replied: Commonwealth must look for 30 years won't get even a look at the man she has helped crown king complete rehabilitation

of the literary world. easier times.

War Debts

and

Mr. Beaumont Pease's com- ments on the war debts issue may be perfectly true, but they do not help towards a solution Like most recent discussions of to the debts, it merely serves reaffirm and crystallize diver- gent nationalistle viewpoints, It focusses attention on dinerer- ences. What is needed now in real negotiation in which cum- promises can be devised. If diplomats can quietly arrange agreements embodying mutual concessions, then attention The focussed on agreements rather than on differences. Nor does it appear that the United States £500,000 is now being spent at need handicap herself by separ- Luton in buildings and now ate consideration of debts and equipment to speed up deliveries economic recovery, Negotia- because production on some tions could be correlated. Bar- models is now lagging 4 months behind delivery requirements. THE HONGKONG HOTEL GARAGE.

The Hongkong & Shanghai Hotels, Lid Incorporated In Hongkong,

Happy Valler Stubbe Load

MARRIAGE.

can

Mr. Shaw is on his way around the world on a cruise. But that world won't include America The Empress of Britain will halt momentarily in Los Angeles har

THE KOD PCT, AMERICAN 15 99 PCT. IDIOT."

hour before going through the Panama Canal, and probably will also call at Now York. But Shaw doesn't plan to land.

gaining could be maintained, al- though hopes of useful resulta from bargaining are not bright under any form of procedure. In any event, bargains need to be made diplomatically instead of through the newspapers. In-

"I may meet a few friends and formality has already had the advantage of facilitating co do a little broadcasting. I have operation between the outgoing mado no arrangements. But every in America and incoming administrations. conceivable person Existing plans should promote seems to be making arrangementa American appreciation of the about me. This will mean noth- theing to me, nor to them. Really, SUCKLING-STEWART-Before the debtors' position and of

Registrar, Hongkong, on the 4th urgency of the need for co- I shall just look in at America- |

operation effort to restore the prosperity and increase the se- curity of every nation. Pre- sident Hoover's emphasis upon that urgency in his message to Congress could hardly have been stronger. Americans are begin- inng to recognise that, as he said, united effort is imperative if we are to "conquer the forces which to-day threaten the very founda- tions of civilization."

February, 1933. Mabel Mary Stewart (Neo Johns) to Percy

Herbert Suckling.

BIRTH.

FERGUSONAL No. 3 Stafford 5, to Mr. and Mrs. J. C. Ferguson,

Rond, Kowloon Tung, on February

A son.

The

Hongkong Telegraph.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1933.

AUSTRALIAN FINANCE

Pantomime

and look out again,"

States. I have

"I am getting too old for that; besides there is no point in it. All nico Americans go to, England and then come straight to see me,"

THE FUNGUS EVIL

By Edward Kelly, Shaver, Fondling our luxuriant, silky whiskers the other day, we wore oxcited to road the following "news" in the newspapers:-

"la Majesty the King desires that all officers of his Regiment shall wear moustaches....Miltary experts consider that moustaches" smarten the appearance of officorn on parado."

Speaking as one who in the past has gone three or four days with- out a shave, and sometimes gone as long without breakfast, we are it with all in favour of this idea.

One of tho oddities about him is that he does not seem to be able to keep off the topic of America for long. If he talke about Russia, he

America.

contrasta

We have put up with slippery. In October, 1931, knowing that faced, pink-checked naval and ho was a rabid dry, the World military officers too long. Some- Prohibition Federation aaked thing will have to be done about it. We......Want.......Whiskers. Shaw to speak to them at Caxton Hall in London. To the Ratonish- Real whiskers-lovely undulat- ment of the good drys, most of his ing, fenthery, flocculent expanses apeech, was taken up with an ex-of genuine hair, soft to the touch pone of what he called the evils and allont in the soup.

of prohibition in the United States. Something we can beard the Ife said the bootleggers had dilon in his den with when we ask covered they had the police and for a rise in screw.

the courts corrupted and in- timidated, and gangsters "then

arose.

As a beard expert we maka no apology for introducing a ca- talogue of the principal varieties, from which the ambitious begin- ner may take his pick.

G. I. S.'s Favourite Topic Then he went on to contrast the THE FULL BEARD PROPER: United States with Soviet Russia This is the original style, as worn by where he and the Bolsheviks Doctor W. G. Grace, Edward Kelly would not give bootleggers or the first, and the members of the gangsters ten minutes.

Hongkong Interport erickot team The amusing postscript to all of 1896. The beard descends over this anti-Americanism is that the chin and shirt-front in soft. Shaw is always glad to write for rolling layers terminating usually American newspapers and ma- at the soup stain near the rccond' gazines at so much per "write"; la button. This sort of board should always eager for the American never be mucked about with by production of his playa; has made scissors, and its trimming into more money from American fanciful shapes, such as those of other roosters, musical intruments, and royalties than from any

of Archibald ships at sea, is generally regarded source; has made

as a sign of snobbery and bad tasto.

"THERE 19 LITTLE UBERTY

IN AMERICA, WHERE PEOPLE ADE INTIMIDATED BY GANGSTERS.*

purpose."

THE BIRDS' NESTER, or LOVE IN THE ROUGH: Variation of the. Full Beard Proper, and is acquired by allowing the layers to terminate nt the fourth instead of the second waistcoat button. This style of beard requires careful cultivation, and should on no account be comb- ed with a fine comb, owing to its stringincas. It has been worn with great success by King Sola- mon. Abdul, the Bul-Bul "Ameer!

favoured and Rasputin. Not locally, owing to the dampness of the climate.

THE SOUP STRAINER: This form of beard descends in thick, dropping festoons over the lower lip, and, as its name suggests, im- parts a musica) elfin note to the intake of soup. Invaluable for obtaining the last dregs of any liquid refreshment, the favoured mode being (Censored),

THE CAVALRY: These dash- ing ornaments should not be at-

going out for a shave.

Chose Policy Deliberately Shaw, as a satirle young play- write of the 90's and the first two decades of this century, shacked and thrilled two continents with his social reform lectures pain- Icsaly delivered through the me-,

Ap dium of brilliant plays;" preciating to the full the value of the old American alogan thut "It pays to advertise," Shaw has al ways oscillated between pulling the British lion's tail and panning America by turns. America, especially, loved It.

With characteristic shrewdness Pantomime seems to be in no

Shaw early pouneed upon the idea danger of losing its hold upon that nothing could make him the affections of the English

more talked about in America poule. In the past Christmas than to attack the United States Henderson of the University of tempted by the beginner, but season pantomimes occupied and its people. He himself put North Carolina his pet biographer; should be worked up after a and in London his favourite preliminary experience with the Due to the success of the re- three of the largest theatres his programme in distinct words:

"I myself have been particularly hostess is Lady Astor, who al-Walrus and Tooth-Brush. Chief- cent conversion loan, floated in in the West End of London, white London, Australia is again get up and down the provinces scores careful never to say a civil word ways exhibits Shaw at her garden ly worn nowadays by sargeant-.

parties as her tame llon.

majors and hangmen. Lustre can ting cheap money. That is go of thousands of children and to the United

on their defined the 100 per cent American

"Probably the United States be considerably improved by the much to the good for the Com- parents saw enacted monweith, yet, at the same local stages the stories of Cin-a 99 per cent idiot. And they will be grently excited," said application of a little boot polish. time, there is a danger even in derella, Puss in Boots, Jack and just adore me and will go on ador-Shaw before sailing, "but there in nothing for them to get excited

With this brief treatise on the the Beanstalk, and Dick Whiting me." "Easy getting cheap money.

about. I am going on a cruise and "Liberty" Teo Ironic

part of the time we shall be in the whisker, we will now whisk ourself tington. The pantomime audi- come, easy go" is a saying ence is a critical one. If Cin- peculiarly applicable to the past deralla's coach does not blaze

On another occasion explaining neighbourhood of the United States, away, morely remarking in pass- dealings of Australian Govern- rightly enough, or if Puss docs why he did not go to the United When we are, I may land, but ing that we would like to see the few minutes. But whisker spread more into public only for States, he said: ments with money that came not demolish a sufficient num-

"I do not want to see the Statue there is no need for America's life and among the Boy Scouts and into their hands. They never bers of rata, some small child is of Liberty. am

Wo trust these fow remarks n master of cager millions to come racing to Girl Guides. had enough money, even when certain to write to the producer comic irony. But even my appe- the favoured spots, They might will arouse public interest in the times were good, and the danger to point out the defect. But tite for Irony does not go as far upset the continent, and all to no whlaker. Personally, we are now now to be avoided is that Aus- the pantomime audience is also as that." tralian Governments will once

no one appreciative: It leaves more set out upon a course of in doubt as to what parts of the financial extravagance.. In this entertainment it likes best. Mr. connexion it may be noted Julian Wylie, who has produced that the Queensland Chamber 103 pantomimes, has made an of Manufactures in its annual interesting list of the scenes report declares that the restora which are always most success- tion of Australian credit and ful. They include the moment the return of confidence can be when Sindbad the Sallor is car- effected only by strict economy ried off by the giant Roc, the in the expenditure of Govern- finding of the footprint in "ko- ments and reductions in taxa- binson Crusoe," the pricking of tion, thereby making available a the princess's finger in "The greater proportion of the na- Sleeping Beauty", the fight of tional income for use in industry Jack with the giants in "Jack the generally. There is certainly no and the Beanstalk," and

the other way of righting the affairs changing of the rats and of the Commonwealth. Even pumpkin into the fairy coach in punto- when budgets are balanced the "Cinderella." When need for reducing Government mimes were first introduced into expenditure will remain. Ex- Britain, just over 200 years ago, cessive Government expendi- it was invariably the transfor ture is the cause of high taxa- mation scene that most hit the tion, and the Chamber of Manu- public fancy. Later, at the be- factures is right in saying that ginning of the nineteenth cen- reductions in taxation will make tury, in the heyday of Grimaldi, available a greater proportion it was the clown who gained the of the national income for use most applause. Now, it seems in industry generally. In Aus- that what the youthful panto- tralia the contest between Gov- mimo audience most enjoys is ernments and industry for the neither the humour nor the power to spend money must be spectacular scene changes, but Bettled eventually in favour of the story.. For each of the in- Industry. Whatever politicians cidents that Mr. Wylie's experi- may think, industry spends ence teaches him is most suc money wisely, and that cannot cessful in contemporary panto- If mimé is a critical moment in the Governments. be said of Governments, now that money development of the plot. There in a little cheaper, resume their is, perhaps, a hint here for the old rate of spending and their more adult theatre, which has old rate of demands on the tax- recently been neglecting the payer, reliabilitation will be In- story-telling side of drama definitely postponed. Some po- rather more than is wise.

"You keep him dressed up as if every day was Sunday,

and you don't care how I look."

"Per Ardua ad Aster” Q.: "We are getting up a little- play for charity. Could you write one for us-it would anve agent's fees, etc., and you could put in the right number of characters? Failing that, who do you recom- mend? Mr. Maugbama has been very well spoken of, but lan't hea trifle risque? We have to be very careful in Kowloon."

A.: What about "The Wild. Duck?" This is sweetly pretty and doesn't cost much to produce. We'd knock up something ourselves If we'd an hour or two to sparo: but you know how things are just

now.

POOR PETE

Did you hear the sad story of Peto 7

But a week ago, while he was sleeping it off on the dining-room table, seven large pink elephants came into the room and started playing Bach's Brandenburg Con- certo on the upright grand; whero- upon Pete dashed into the street: and signed all the pledges he could lay hands on.

Since then he has been a chang- ed man; so different that when he saw himself in the glass in the morning he thought he was some- body else and wanted to fight.

The reform is permanent, and he who was once a diligent and per- aplring old toper is now a stald and respectable member of Socioty, full of good works and as sober an a goldlah. Life, ho now says, In real, life is carnost and the pub in not its goal.

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