HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND. MODERN.
"I could hardly keep my eyes open at breakfast.
"Why do you bother with grape fruit!"
་
:
Young Husband: "It seems to me, my dear, that these pancakes are rather heavy.
His Bride: Then I'm afraid you're a poor judge, for the, cook- "I notice that a Wall Street bar-book says they are light and fea- ber has raised his price for shaves" "Yes, the faces have been longer iately."
Bert: "People always try to rush
the seasons.
Jack: "Yes, you'd be surprised at the number of people who buy spring beds in the winter.'
او
Seaside P.C. "You ain't allow red to fish from the steps, air."
Visiter:'m not! As it's rather early in the year I'm just taking the sea's temperature before decid. ing to bathe."
Mother (to son who has been sent to the bathroom to wash): "But, darling, there's soap still on your forehead."
Son: "Ikaow, Mummy, but there's no towel and my shirt wouldn't reach any higher.".
Maid (to spring-cleaning house! keeper): There are half a dozen men downstairs with vacuum cleans ers. They say they have appoint- nents to give demonstrations"
Mistress: "Yes, I eat for them. Put them in different rooms and Tell them to get busy."
The house agent decided that he had better be quite frank with his latest clients.
"O course," he began. "thia house has one or two drawbacks which I feel I must mention. It is hounded on the north by the gas works, on the south by "a india- rubber works, on the east by a vine gar factory, and in the west thera is a glue-boiling establishment."
"Great Scott" gasped the hus- land Fancy showing as such a place. What a neighbourhood:"
"Quite soreplied the agent. But there are advantages. The rent is cheap, and you can always tel: which way the wind is blow- ing!"
A
A
|
thery."
The usual crowd was sitting round a dentist's room the other day, when one old boy looked ap from the paper he had found on the table and said cheerily :
Is there's been a big battle off the coast of Jutland."
This neat is not cooked, not is the pic."
Bride: "I did it like the cookery book, but as the recipe was for four people and we are only two. I took half of everything and cooked it for half the time it said."
The lady of the house was as cold sunuld be. You seem able-bodied and healthy," she said: "you ought to be strong enough to work for.. your meals.
"That's true." replied Weary Willie, but although you seem be autiful enough to be in the movies. evidently you prefer the simple life."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I spoke so husti ly. Come in and get a nice, warın dinner, sir."
A well-known writer visited & jail, to take notes for an article on prison lif. On returning home he described what he had seen, and his description made a deep im pression on the mind of his litle daughter.
A work later the writer and his
HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, TUESDAY, JULY 1, 1930.
SNAPSHOTS OF A BABY IN THE TUB
SLOSHES ROUND IN TUB" HOW GOOD THE WATER FEELS
TRIES TO BE GOOD BUT · CANT HELP THROWING HIM- SELF BACK IN TUB JUST ONCE
MOTHER PULLS HIM BACK INTO TUB JUST AS HE'S ON THE VERGE OF TOPPLING OVER 5-5
little girl were in a train which NAVAL NEWS ITEMS. stopped at a station near a gloomy building.
"What place is that?" asked n
passenger.
"The county jail" another an swered, promptly.
Whereupon Mary embarrassed her father and aroused the suspicion of the other passengers by asking in La loud, shrill voice. "Is that the
jail you were in. father "
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PROBABLE MOVEMENTS.
The cruiser Caradoc, which is to relieve the Caster. on the. China Station, is ordered to be commis- sioned on July 15 with a Devonport erow for this service. She wil
leave Devonport on July 22, and is expected to arrive at Hong Kong about September 13. The Castor will return to Devonport before the Caradoc leaves.
The subinarines, Proteus was to leave Barrow on May 30 for Camp beltown where she will be until June 10 carrying out trials. She is the third of four submarines of the!
SPLASHES A LITTLE
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
LISTENS TO WORDS FROM MOTHER ON HOW HARD IT IS FOR HER WHEN HE SPLASHES
HELLS HEROES"
Portons
DON'T U
Death Valley hold on the rim of its burning Hell three bad med. See how a nakborn baby mada them find their souls only
to lose their lives. It's the most
beautifully
tic and wonderfull human story Petor B. Ayne ever wrote. With Charles Bick- ford, Faymon Hat- toa. Fred Kobl r.
AND KICKING HIS FEET
A UTILE, HE JUST CANT SEEM TO HELP IT.
SUDDENLY SWITCHES ENERGY
TD GETTING THE CAN OF TALCUM POWDER
TAKES ONE LAST 510SH BUT OWING TO SUGHT MISCAL CULATION 6CES ALL THE WAY UNDER (Copyrigby 1930, by The Bell Syndicate; Inc.)
ROYALIST MOVEMENT «
IN HUNGARY.
RUMOURS STILL CIRQU- LATING.
RESOLVES TO BE GOOD
AT THE
QUEEN'S
GUYAS WILLAMS
A
THE SILVER SCREEN.
"HELL'S HEROES
Hell's Heroes."
The scenes Budapest, June 23.-While official Universal alking drama, now quarters strongly, deny the reports at the Queen)) that Archduke Otto, the eldest son in their of the late Emperor of Austria-
company b
eatre, were filmed
locations, the
weeks in the
Hungary and of Empress Zita, will ascend the Hungarian throne great Mojave the height Often the in November next when coming to of the summer sen. age, the rumours to that effect actors worked with the temperature persist while the Press continues!
at more than 120 degrees. The to speculate on the probability of such an event with full freedom cast includes Charles Bickford, Ray- and without being affacted by the mond Hatton. Fred Kobler, Fritzi otherwise rigorous censorship:
Ridgeway, Maria Alba. Joe de la Thus the newspapers record with Prees is becoming reconciled to the idea of having the Hapsburgs re- scored to power at least, in Hungary, and no longer offers any serious objection to changing the Treaty of Trianon in favour of the restoration
James. Tom Reed made the screen preparation from Peter E. Kyue'. famous story, "Three Godfathers."
1997 Navy Estimates ordered from vident satisfaction that the French Cruz, Buck Counois and Walter the Barrow works of Vickers-Arm strongs, The Perseus, already com- pleted, is at Devonport. The Posei don was due there on May 31 from Campbeltown. The Pandora is due to be completed on June 21. A four are to proceed to the China Station when ready.
of the monarchy.
On the other hand it is noted The aircraft-carrier Hermes, Cap that the capitals of the so-called tain I. D. Campbell, M.V...
succession states. Prague, Bucha- O.B.E., which was joined by her present crew on December 15, 1927, test and Belgrade, continue to show extreme hostility to, a resurrection is in the last few months of her commission on the China Station of the Hapsburg dynasty, threaten-f She is to arrive at Chathan by ing even armed intervention in the case of Archduke Otto's proclama. October 1, to recommissior, and will be docked in the new floating tion as King of Hungary, a threat which the Budapest papers discount, dock at Singapore on her way since, is they point out, such a mobilization would constitute a Captain A. L. S. Harris, RM;
breach of the Kellogg Pact. has been appointed for duty in the
Diplomatic observers here take Naval Intelligence Department, Admiralty, before taking up the the question very seriously and post of Staff Officer (Intelligence) declare that it might well become
a problem of first class rangni at Shanghai, in succession to Cap- tain G. W. M. Grover, Captaintude since apparently Italy strongly Harris became a second lieutenant supports Archduke Otto's claims. in the Royal Marine Artillery Of March 5, 1915.
home.
·
ROME IRRITATED BY-
FRANCE.
CAUSING BITTER CRITICISM:
"Thirteenth Chair."
Two famous theatrical families are represented in the "Thirteenth Chair," Metro-Goldwyn talking version of the famous "stage play, which comes on Thursday to the Queen's Theatre. They are Mary Forbes, mother of Ralph Forbes and member of an English theatrical
and Barrymores in America, and family as well-known, as the Drews
Leila Hyams, daughter of John Hyams and Leila Melntyné, vaude. vilic and stage stars. Tod Brown- ing directed the new play, a vivid mystery drama of Calcutta, with Margaret Wycherly in the role she created on the stage,
"FUNNY FACE" AT THE STAR THEATRE.
There was a good·· house at
A Dynastic Movement, Bucharest, June 2 24 The Rou- manian Premier, Mr Maniu to-day the Star Theatre, last night to witness the talented Salisbury Com declared that his Government would
in no circumstances permit the re.pany repeating the musical farce "Funny Face The absence of storation of the Hapsburg dynasty
anything having the semblance of in Hungary.
a plot afforded the individual mem
Political circles here expect bers of the Conipany an excellent therefore that the question will be opportunity to introduce a fine pro- fully considered at the forthcoming gramme of particularly grace Rome, June 23-France's formid annual conference of the states of
fal dancing and melodious singing. ahle projekt for strengthening her the Little Entente. 4
Mr. Grant again thieved a dis- fortifications along the Franco-
Meanwhile little credence is given Italian frontier is" awamping all here to the official Hungarian tinct success as the gentleman from other political issues both in poli- denials of the Hapsburgs and the Osbaldswhistle, and he well earned. tical quarters and in the Press, the enthronement of Archduke Otto is the plaudite of an appreciative not being contemplated by the audience. Miss Noreen Hamilton, latter branding France as mischief Hungarian Government. maker and as a monnce to the whole
of Europe.
Political and military quarters
here estimate that the proposed
in the character of Frankie Wynne, gave an exquisite exhibition of runk hypocrisy," asserting at the elflike dancing, and the other mem-- seven new fortresses on the line same time that France is spending bers of the Company in the farce from Nice to Savoy, will cost France ail she gets from Germany on re- attained a degree of general ex- about Fra. 7,000,000,000 while an parations account for armaments
other Irs. 1,000,000,000 are, it is believed, being spent on perfect ing the military strongholds and the naval base on the island of Coisica.
which, moreover, are confined to cellence well sustaining the high reputation which the Company her own frontiers.
"Just as before the war, the have worthily upheld throughout paper says, France aided and abettheir tour in the Far East ted Czarism, she now supports and
Tonight "The Man from Toron finances Jogoslavia's military dicta torship." The paper also asserts to" is to be presented, that in the course of the last few there should be a sell-filled "house" months as many as twelve steamers
and
The Popalo d'Italia ridicules the French declaration that these forti Seations are merely of a defensive character and accuses the Foreign Minister, M. Aristide Briand, of with French arms and ammunition to greet the presentation of this (Continued at foot of next column); arrived in. Jugoslav. ports.
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1920.
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