HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"There was an awful fuss, but I only ran over a man's pipe. I think it was his windpipe.'
What's be like " "Well-do you know what you see when you turn a stone over t
"You are a gentleman 1". "Well, the definition varies so rapidly these days one can hardly
Village grocer': "Trade scans to be gettin' worse an' worse, ma'am. Another of my customers was run over by a car yesterday !"
Onlooker (as star man goes in to bat): "With all is awook, ain't a great cricketer. One on the nose wi the ball an' 'e's finished !"
First Lady (who has been on visit
Beggar: "Can you spare ma pair of very old shoes t
Lady: "But you are wearing quite good onOS.
Beggar: "I know, m'am, and they are ruining my whole busi- ress."
Patient Professor. "Now gentle- men, I don't mind your taking out your watches and looking at them, but please be courteous enough not to hold them up to your car as if you thought they had stopped."
„
In parts of Mexico hot springs, and cold springs are found side by side. One can see native women. boiling clothes in a hot spring, rub- bing them on a flat rock and rins ing them in a clear, cold spring.
A visitor watched this process for some time, and then said:
I suppose the natives think Mo- ther Nature is pretty generous,
to daughter): "Such a nice littlach 1"
'ouse they've got, Mrs. Jinks, love. "No, senor," replied his host, ly view-right across the cemeThere is much grumbling because tery."
she supplies no soap."
N
Burglar (interrupted in at- tempt to get into cellar): I'm collector, constable, just admiring the design of this priceless old, coal-'ale lid."
|
Little 27100 1 "Mind you, I wouldn't go so far as to call you a liar,"
Big man: My word! You'd have to go a long way to do that."
Earnest young thing: "Of course, you write for fame alone, Mr. Sha- ""wells ??'
Young author: "No-purely that I may have something to read when I am old."
Boss: "You'd better leave, your address in case I have to send for you, Jenkins.".
"Mummy! Mummy!" called little Peter from the garden.
"What is it, darling?" answered his mother.
Putting her head out of the win- dow, she saw that Peter had climb. ed on top of a stack of planks and seemed unable to come down.
"Try to come down the same way you went up," she advised..
Peter remained a few seconds in profound. thought. Then he shout- ed to his mother.
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1930.
THE WORLD AT ITS WORST
11-17
-By-GLUYAS WILLIAMS
THE PERSON WITH GLISTENING WHITE TEETH AND BUBBLING. GOOD SPIRITS WHOM YOU MEET COMING OUT OF THE DENTIST'S OFFICE WHILE YOU'RE WAITING TO GO IN.
"But, Mummy, I went up head WOMEN TEACHERS,
Arst!"
"A little whimper, next a patient sigh,
And then a anift-(Oh, dear, there's
no reply).
.
ין
A little patter on the landing floor,
DEMAND FOR EQUALITY
WITH MEN.
Men who object to working un
(Copyright, 1930, by The Bell Syndicste, Inc.)
Mias E. E. Cooper, treasurer of the Union, moved a resolution arg. ing the adoption of the metric sys- tem. When a child was at ning or ten, she said, he was utterly dick of the whole present crazy system of yarda, fathoms, links, chains, furlongs, miles, tons, and so "Proverbs must have been think
Divers weights and measures are an abomination to the Lord." (Laughter.)"
03.
A gentle scratching at my study der women were criticised by deleng of the system when it wrota
door, Another pause; and then, Well, " Cecil
who is that?!
Junior clerk (going on holiday): "Oh, er-yes, Sir. I'm staying in- eognito user-the Hon.
Montmorency D'arcy at-or-sea view, Brightsca:"
The little girl was crying. Her mother, to distract her thoughts, called
the mat
The door swings open, there upon He stands expectant: 'Please, it's
only me.
I
There's nobody downstairs;
thought I'd see Oli, come here, darling-come. If you were lonely, too, Please, may here and look at the aeroplane."
I promise you I, won't be in the
The little girl ran to the window and stared up at the aeroplane till it disappeared. Then she got out her little wet handkerchief again.
"Mother, what was I crying about she asked,
I stay 1
way.
lics,
Then at your feet contentedly he A world's devotion in two doggy
eyes"
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
2
4
13
110
12
14-
19
20
22
123
24
126
30
39 140
142
146
150
[5]]
54
Horizontal
1.-State of ignominy.
6-To denude.
11-Vexed..
12-Small salamander,
14-Home of Abraham.
13.-Improved..
17,-Behold.
18.-Quarrel.
20.-Black wood. 21.-Offor.
-Outfit of clothes.
24. To permit.
25.To moderate.
28
55
36 37
45
148
49
10-Possessing good manners. 11.Money pouch.
13-Joint of stem.
13.-Adversary.
10. More humorous.
21.-Obstruction. 23.--Appendages, 25.-Storage buildings. 27.-Golf mound. 29,--Bieverage. 12-Dignified. 33.-Noxious substance. 34.-Small Eceds, 35.--Painting. 30.-Spiked. 37.To Tasten securely. 40.-Age,"
43.-Pen.
32. Timbers driven into ground. 44. To rescue.
26. Property.
98.-Gazes steadily.
30.-To.. fasten.
31.-To mistake.
28-Parts of shoes.
39-Small vegetable.
41-Line of juncture.
42. Trine.
-35-Dog-like.
43.-Preserves in brine:
45-A cut of meat.
46.-Exists,
47-Orientul company of travel-
lera.
40.-French article.
50.-Benility.
52-Declared,
64.Hecorde
55.--Stitched..
Vertical.
1.Watery.
2.--Pronoun,
3.-Hail,
4. One of race mentioned in
Bible.
5.-Capable of being eaten.
0.-Limits.
7-Playing card. :
8. To free.
D.-Pronoun.
47.-Domestic animal." 18-At this time. 51.-Toward.
53.-Pronoun.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
No. 1569 SPOTS POR
SORERE.
HUR
Other resolution adopted urged the Government to discontinue help in the production of war films and the organization of military tattoos, the teaching in all secondary schools of an international auxili ary language, and the appointment of an increased number of women police with full powers of arrest.
NEW NAVAL TRUST....
OFFICER'S FOLLOWING MEN'S
EXAMPLE.
WILLARS
"PARIS THEATRE.
COSTS.
STRIKE PLAN AGAINST INCREASED TAX.
The Association of Theatrical Managers in Paris last month de- cided to make some, gesture of pro- test against the entertainment tax of 7 per cent, which is a relic of the war. A reduction from 7 to per cent had been promised at the end of last year, but was not, in fact, included in the long list of small reductions ratified by the Chamber during the last days of its session of 1920. No actual step has been decided upon by the mana gers, but they declare that some sort of strike or, as it may be in- terpreted by actors and employees, a lock-out-will certainly take place.
The managers have pro- ruised to consult the other unions concerned: The cinema theatres will also take part in the strike, which is not expected to take place in the immediate future.
PUZZLE OF A SHOT HUNT MASTER.
CORONER DISPOSES OF A MURDER THEORY.
"ACCIDENT VERDICT.
A verdict of." Accidental death was returned at Barford recently on Capt. Charles Ivor Phipson Smith- Ryland, aged thirty-one, lord of the manor of Sherborne, Warwickshire, who was found shot in the grounds of Barford Hill with a servico re- volver near him.
Capt. Smith-Ryland was joint master of the Warwickshire Hounds. One notable feature of the inquest was that the. Rev. John Gibb, the vicar of Sherborne, à brother-in-law, who was blinded in the war yet gare evidence of identification of the body. He took the place of the widow as witness for the pur- pose of identification, but was not asked how he could identify the body!
. י ר'
He said that Capt. Smith-Ryland was in the habit of hunting and recently had one or two bud falls on his head.
Arthur Workman, a young labour- er, who found Capt. Smith-Ryland 'dying, "said that he was walking, by the river near the house looking for a derelict punt. He looked into the summer house to see if the floods bad affected it much, and then turn- ed towards the river. He heard some shooting just proviously, but took no notice of it, being used to that sort of thing.
The coroner. You heard one or two shots-Only one revolver shot, but a sporting gun first.
וי
River Bank Find.
You can discriminate between the two- thought the keeper was shooting.
was not shooting.
A policeman said that the keeper
The coroner: You continued walking along the river bank?
Workman: Yes, and looking out of the tea-house I saw Mr. Smith- Ryland.
The coroner: In what position - Lying half in the river on his back with the water up to his arm-pita.
Workman enid that some time ago a badger had been dug out in the wood near the house.
The coroner, addressing the jury, said that Capt. Smith-Ryland could only have come to his death by one of three means.
The first was that some one had shot him. "There was evidence which might fit into that theory, but considering the position be was in it seemed unlikely. The jury could clearly assume that he was not murdered."
gates attending the annual con- ference of the National Union of Women Teachers at Canterbury last month. Composite resolutions, em- bodying nearly twenty, which had been submitted by the branches were passed, demanding that all avenues of promotion in the teaching pro- fession should be open to women cqually with men; that the best candidates, irrespective of sex, should be appointed to the head. ships of all mixed schoola, ad- ninistrative posts and inspector. ates, and that equal pay should be given to men and women teachers of the same professional status.
The great success of the Royal Why Not Women Superiors?
Naval Benevolent Trust in assist Men objected, said Lira F. E. ing naval and ex-naval men, their Roy, to working under women.widows-and-dependente, has at last Why should they Prime Ministers induced naval officers to set up a
The theatrical managers complain worked under queens, public ser- committee to discuss the prospects that matters are made even worse vants worked to-day under Miss of a similar organisation for the by the increase of one franc on all Bondfield, and, soldiers followed commissioned ranks. Boadicen and Joan of Arc to battic. The existing trust was derived taxi fares which has just come into force (buses, trans, and the Mero
The second suggestion was that What had happened to the virility from various war-time funds to have also been increased, which is the captain shot himself. He was of men that they should only as form a central pool for welfare bringing about something like wounded on the lelt side and he work, which is largely managed popular, outcry). The Paris taxi was essentially a right-handed man.. sert themselves by insulting men The man who could through a delegate system by the charges double fare after 11 p.m., There was absolute lack of motive work under a woman was not fit men of the navy themselves. to teach young children. Women principal objects are the allevia and as the performances at most for suicide. They had not much eri- teachers outnumbered men by two tion of distress and financial hard. theatres do not end until just before denne regarding the accident theory. The jury announced a verdict of to one. It was evident that they thip of all kinds, training and midnight taxi fares are a serious
consideration with playgoers, whose "Found shot.". could do their work as well as men finding employment for time-expir-expenses have already been swollen
The coroner: Yes, but if you say because inspectors and head mas ed men, and generally to act as hy the price of their tickets, plus "Found shot," it may mean some ters were always lamenting that receiving and distributing author- tax and the extra tips expected by
one might have shot him. You do the teaching profession did not at ity for funds intended for the wel.
the attendanta. The fact remains not suggest that " tract the right type of man, yet fare of the ratings. The Admiralty that the theatres in Paris are still no woman was a director of edues have shown approval of its work considerably cheaper than in Lonncidentally shot. tion, the majority of inspectors by contributing at various times were men, and the tendency was to from surplus balances, such as the don, and the average price of a appoint men as heade of mixed residue of the Naval Prize Fund, stall is only 7s... schools, even when the children savings bank surpluses, &c.--sums were infants and juniors. Women reaching an aggregate of over were invading all professions and £400,000, applying the feminine point of view to all social problems, but in a profession which was really an extension of parenthood their in. fluence was curbed.
WO-
not
Miss G. I. Cottell, of Bristol, said that ill-will and distrus would last as long as men and wo. men teachers were paid differently. Miss A. McMillan, of London, advocated political action to re medy an anomaly which she said was inherent in the social system. In Russia there was equality bo- tween the sexes. Moreover, there a woman, when she became a mother, did not have to live a life of un-
n
Its
For the officers the totals receiv- ed in the same way by the prezent can scarcely unrelated charities
reasonable have amounted to share in proportion to their num- bers. Probably this has been due to nothing but the lack of a unified system, and should the proposed new trust take shape contributions may fairly be expected from a variety of sources to nucleus. In any case it should be instructive to watch the entire per- sonnel of the navy carrying out a co-operative experiment of this kind.
Crowded Houses,
The foremen: No, we mean found
The coroner: Very well, then, the' verdict is "Accidental death,"
In spite of the difficulties encoun tered by unsuccessful managers, SOCIETY OF ART MASTERS. there seems always to be a number of successful pieces drawing crowd- ed houses-for example, "Amphi- ["A SCANDALOUS SITUATION.” tryon 33," by the well-known young Finch writer Giraudoux. The title of the play means that it is the 38th play to be written about
"We have listened to the Fresi- deat of the Board of Education as
art
he discussed the problem of education and made suggestiona which reveal profound ignorance of the conditions under which it is carried on, declared Mr. W. M. Barnes, the president, at the an- nual conference at York of the National Society of Art Masters, last month.
Amphitryon, whose wife had the misfortune of proving attractive to Jupiter. Among other fashion provide à
able successes are Lui," by Al- fred Savoir, about a lunatic who is convinced that he is God, and "Le Sexe Faible," which is notori- ous because the scene is laid in an exact reproduction of the lounge in the Ritz. Happily there are "Chief inspectors, divisional in- telligent performances usually at spectors cluster, thickly, but the tract large audiences, notably the dignity and importance of in- Theatre des Arts, where M. and dustrial art in England is repre "Mme. Pitocff ́‚Appear, j
sented by four inspectors, not one of whom is even of staff rank. This is plain speaking about a grave and scandalous situation, but the occasion talls for it
paid drudgery. She could puraue AUSTRALIAN SPEAKER AND also one or two theatres whore inspectors, staff inspectors, and in-
her work, and the creche would look after her children.
Miss E. F. Phipps, London, said that the working class was as much nt fault as the other classce. There
was often more opposition in trade unions to women getting good jobs than in professional bodica.
THE MACE.
ال
"A RELIC OF BARBARISM."
In accordance with the precedent The press are generally sympathe established in 1910 by Mr. Mactic to the complaints of the mana Donald, the fret Labour Speaker of gers, although to an English ob- the House of Representatives in server they appear in some ways £18 in an advantageous position Married Women Teachers,
Canberra, Mr. Makin, the present compared with the London mits- Speaker, is dispensing with the
gera Another resolution was unani- Mace, in addition to appearing mously, passed protesting against without gown and wig, though the the dismissal of women teachers House officinis continue to wear who married..
both. The first Labour Govern-
•
Mr. Makin replied that he could Miss A. E. Hefford, of London, ment of Australia, Bome yeare car- not find an intelligent reason why COURE who confessed that she had passed lier, headed by Mr. Watson, cop- the Mace should appear on the the age when she had any hopes of formed to traditional practices only tablo.. According to the meagre re- marriage, said that all girls when because the Labour Party, being cords available, it was a relie of AR they left college were certain that without a majority, was compelled barbarism, and he saw no reason why anything which symbolized that ATE they would be married. It was the to accept Mr. Holder as Speaker.
fresh and enthusiastic girls who The subject has hitherto not been stage of society should find any op- attracted men. If marriage meant made seriously controversial, and portunity of display in the House "that they must give up their work, has never been debated in the during his occupancy of the Chair. the result would be to lower the House, though when members as The Mace did not represent any cultural standard of the profes sembled, Mr. Thompson (Nation thing associated with the Crown. nor |A|F| sion.
alist) drew attention to the fact did it do anything towards assert- Miss S. E. Wright, of Oldham, that the Mace was missing after the ing the authority of the Speaker. FIRED declared that an accident like marawenring in ceremony, during which I abell be quite capable of assert ing that authority without the SPADE riage should not interfere with a it was in its usual place.
professional career.
(Continued at foot of next column).. Mace," he added, amid laughter.~
X
IRIS
SUED XID ATH YORAL LRECT
RE
In the administrative machinery: they saw little to inspire them with a large hope The experiment of an art director for a city had been tried with success, and what bad succeeded in the municipal world might well be tried in the national. Could the nation not find of vision withr ability to work in terms of our schools and in- dustries? he naked.
man
Design was but to use all the cle- ments of manufacture economically. and beautifully to the best possi ble end, and it was on that plea that they claimed to enter the realm of industry's criticised the condi
Mr. Barnes' tions under which some teachers were compelled to carry on their, work, conditions which were unfav ourable and doomed their work to failure.
QUEEN'S
WILLIAM FOX
presen
THE
VALIANT
ALL-TALKING
FOX
MOVIETONE FEATURE
FOX MOVIETONE NEWS
British
Admiral declares position on disarmament. 1st pictures of Polynesin
—
COMEDY -
"BENEATH THE LAW” with Stars of "BELLE OF SAMOA”
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY At 230, 5.10, 7.159.20.
WORLD
GILBERT
DESERT NIGHTS
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY AT 5.15 & 9.20 ONLY.
·A: 2.30 £ 7.15
The
Chinese Picture "THE ROMANTIC
LADY"..
STAR
ONE OF THE SCREEN'S GREATEST AND TRUEST CLASSICS!
FOUR SONS
* WITH
MARGARET MANN, EARLE FOXE, JAMES HALL JUNE COLLYER.
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
at 2.80, 5.80 & 9.20.