HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Jinks: "Did you read that auto- biography of a night club hostess" Binks: Yes, from cover to cover charge!"
15
"Could I interest you in o vacuum cleaner | "
"No, I haven't got any Vacuums."
Jones is a resourceful conversa tionalist."
"Yes, he can talk all evening without once mentioning the stock market."
Fed-up Motorist (tinkering with old ear) First car you ever saw. I suppose?"
Ruralist: Non, zur, but it' very much lolke it."
Harold is awfully obstinate." In what way 7 "It's the hardest thing in the world to make him admit I'm right when he knows I'm wrong."
Charles: Do you have to have tant to make a living writing jokes for the humorous magazines
James: No; all you need is a steady income from source,
17
BOITE other
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. MONDAY, DECEMBER 16, 1929.
"The chap who designed the tele- phone booth has a new job."
"What is it?"
"He's doing breakfast nooks for kitchenette apartments."
*
Landlady (discussing hoarder); He's an artist that makes draw- Tags that are-att-scratches.
Friend: "Oh-you mean itchings, don't you, Mrs. Muggins?
"I am a son of the soil!" shouted the grimy campaign speaker.
"Yes, and I'm sorry for you," ex- claimed one in the audience," for I see you have your father on your
hands.
"How does it come you didn't get a single order for farm imple mnts on your month's trip?" "de- mandad the sales manager, angrily.
I was following an automobile salesman, sadly sighed the sales- man.
The little girl wandered round highly delighted with the various animals, until she came to a cage in which were several storks standing sign on one leg, their henils tucked under their wings. She stared at them for some time, puzzled. Final ly, she turned to her mother and in- "Little Brother: "I wish I was ei, quired, "What are they!"
mother, Why," replied the "they're storks!
Yes, Lean see that," she answer- Fed, but what are those things
growing on top?""
years old like you."
Football Player: Why?" Little Brother: Then maybe. Mother would let me play in the mai, too."
A railroad min was ready to make his usual run. His wife in structed him to get her some turkey eggs to set. In passing through a small town a young country lad approached the engineer and asked him, Don't you want to buy some buzzard eggs!
H
Seeing an opportunity to play A-joke upon his wife, he gave the dad nickel for them. About a month later he asked his wife:
How are your turkeys getting niong "
"Oh, I decided it was getting too late for turkeys, so I put them in your lunch.
A soldier stationed at the entrance te a museun was instructed to de- mand of each person his stick ar umbrella ferè allowing him to enter.
A man came up with his hands in his pockets and was going in. "Stop!" said the soldier. Where
is your stick or umbrella?"
They are both at home," replied the man, again attempting to go
in
Then I must trouble you to mo back and fetch one or the other." said the soldier. as my orders are to allow no person to enter without depositing one of those articles with
ine.
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
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12
5
6 7 18
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12
13
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16 117
TIPS
20 21
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20
29
£28
130
32
33 PAR24
135
20
36
40
41
142
15
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45
146
47
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69
ES
SNAPSHOTS OF A MAN CATCHING THE WAITER
TRIES TO CATCH WAITER..... TO REMIND HIM HE HAS
NO CREAM FOR HIS COFFEE.
SEVERAL GUESTS THINK SIGNALS ARE MEANT FOR THEM. TURNS HASTILY BACK AND TAKES GULP OF COFFEE.
HEAD WAITER COMES UR EXPLAINS THE CREAM- LESS-SITUATION TO HIM.
DECIDES WAITER HAS GONE TO GET, IT, WAITS.
CATCHES BUS BOY AND ASKS HIM TO TELL K, WAITER HE HASN'T ANY CREAM FOR HIS COFFEE,
HEADWAITER DISAPPEARS. WAITS TEN MINUTES AND
THEN DRINKS HIS COFFEE. BLACK
| //-20" (Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.),
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
GETS TIRED OF WAITING. SEES HIS WAITER IN CORNER AND SIGNALS.
BUS BOY DISAPPEARS. LOOKS ROUND AND SEES „THAT WAITER HAS DIS-
APPEARED, TOO..
WAITER, BUS BOY AND HEADWAITER ARRIVE WITH
PITCHERS OF CREAM. FEELS A LITTLE GUILTY TO HAVE FINISHED COFFEE.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER
TEACH CHILDREN TO DANCE.
For children to obtain the greatest benefit from dancing it should be taught in conjunction with other lessons, and should form part of the curriculum of every school. It might at least take the place of the Swedish drill already taught.
· Although this certainly improves the child's physical condition, the way in which the exercises are per- formed tends to produce jerky movements, instead of the graceful-
Mental Activity.
Self Expression. Most people-even opponents" of The dances of old times--the dancing-admit that it is bencficial | pavane, the minunt, the gayotte, the
Greek physically, but they seem entirely ancient
dances and the unaware of the
mental benefits dances of various countries—of which come from it, and which Spain, Italy, Russia, Japan- would be decidedly multiplied were it less often considered from the purely physical viewpoint.
To learn even a simple dance will help to inculente quick-wittedness, "concentration; the ability to think
ahead, a good memory."
The child must imitate quickly a step shown by the teacher; must pay full attention to be able to perform it correctly; while dancing one step must have in mind the next, that there may be no ugly breaks in the movement of the
dance; must be able to remember all the steps once they are learnt.
Any method of teaching dancing must produce these results. Were other lessons considered in conjune-
might be taught with the view to illustrating to the child those times and those countries.
Naturally the dances taught would depend on what period in history aud what country in geography was being studied.
When displays of dancing are given by the children, the older of them might be allowed-under the eye of their art teacher-to help in designing the costumes and set- tings For national and historical subjects, books would be consulted,
picture-galleries visited,
"Self-expression" is recognised to-day to be extremely important in education. Surely movement-and dancing is rhythmical movement-
"ly supple, perfectly harmonised tion with it, still more would ap-is, the most natural form of self-
ones of the dancer.
pear.
expression.
BY APPOINTMENT
One of the small things that really matter-
Cerebos
SALT
Riprentatives: John D. Hutchison & Co.. Hong Kong.
Be
Ready for the Winter
MORNINGS and evenings are chill and damp. The dreary days of drizzle, fog and gloom are approaching.. These damp, dreary days bring colds, coughs and more serious illnesses in their train. Are you ready for them ?
Is your health built up so that you are. fully protected against the all- ments that they bring.
"Ovaltine" is your sure pro- tection. Prepared from milk, malt, eggs and cocoa, it con- tains every factor and element essential to health in correctly.. balanced proportion, and in an easily digested form.
Make "Ovaltine" your daily beverage in place of tea, coffee, etc.. at and between meals. Then you can face this weather with abundant strength and vigour to resist all ills.
"Ovaltine" is the most econ- . omical as well as the most per- fect form of nourishment in the world. Nothing could be added or altered which would possibly improve it in any respect.
Horizontal,
1-Father of men.
5. So be it!
-To unite
12 Girl's name.
13.-Play's leading part.
14.-Toward the stern.
15. Fifty-five.
10-Fight between two. 18.-Upper. part. 20.-Belonging to. 29.-Chums. 24-Anarchists: 27-On the top. 20. To be fond. 31.-Carded cloth. 32.-Crown.
31.-Conflicts.
36.A river in Italy.
37.A vegetable.
39.-Lodger.
41.-Within.
42-To howl.
44.- Limited.
45.-Public vehicle.
47.-Food.
40.-Colloquial: children,
"50,-Behind time.
35. To haul,
1. Pronoun..
53.Lair.
57. To let fall.
50-Negative.
61.-Golfer's mound. 03. To unlock.
85.Peruvian ruler. 07.-Antique,.
es. Conflicts.
€0.-Rhymster.
Vertical.
1. Everyone.
-Pertaining to act of worship.
3.--Article.
4.--Angry.
-In front..
6. Of delicate quality.
7-Comparative suffix.
0-
To come to point
10-Supposing that.
11. French conjunction.
17-Toward a higher place..
19. Correlative of either, 21.-Froth,
28-Stellar actor.
25.Reliance.
26.-Games.
27. Carrets.
25-To petition. 30.-Loves god. 33-Small particle. 35.-Stocking. 38.-Was indebted. 40.-To cripple. 43-Food storage.
46. Ömened
48.-Mountain lakes. 51.-Pronoun. 53--Boxing match
36. At this time.
69.-Mark on playing card. 60-A grain. 01.--Toward.
02. Spanish article.
01.-Father..
66.-Negative.
PICTURES
4t
AND PLAYS.
ally Englishmen. They are fine film actors. The way in which they Ove and behave wins them
success."
Mr. Cecil De Mille, who was re- sponsible for the Biblical extrava- ganza, "The King of Kings," has produced a "equel" to it in "The Godless Girl," "which, after long delay, will shortly be presented in silent form to the London public. "The Godless Girl," which has been absolutely banned by the Austro- lian censor, is a study of Atheism among American young people, has- ed on a first-hand investigation of conditions in reformatories and similar institutions. It is alleged that there are many societies of Atheistic young people in America, And that they use such slogans as "Don't be a sap all your life ind believe the religious bank!" "Join the godless society and kill the Bible!" There is a poster which shows a serpent swallowing the Bible, and another of a youth with a sword killing a dragon labelled "The Gospel. Mr. de Mille al- leges that the criminal age in America now begins at fourteen, and that reformatories over there are practically criminal factories. There are chain gangs, whipping. posts, stocks, electrically, charged fences, and leg shackles. Blood- hounds are used to hunt down 'run- "Bilence-ane universal aways.
confinement.
Deep mystery surrounds the per- [ fused to go into any details as to the real name of the successful son of one of Germany's most suc-
playright. Lesful playwrights of recent years. He is Ferdinand Bruckner, least that name is given as thut The world's greatest lover i of the author of Criminals," Nonsense! I disclaim that title. "The Disease of Youth," and other Every one asks me: Do you love successful plays. Nobody has ever playing love parts?' Tell me seen Ferdinand Bruckner. He something about the technique of Which never attended any of the opening | love-making on the films.' nights of his plays. And, if he film stars do you like to play love did, he never told anybody that he films with-?" Mr. John Gilbert, was the author. Nor have any of hero of many high-pressure love the producers of his plays ever set films, beloved of thousands of Bap: eyes on Bruckner, or any man sag-per hearts in America and Great ing he was Bruckner. When Ger- Britain, looked fierce, even terribly man theatre-goers clamoured to see angry, recently in the room of his the author, it was finally admitted hotel in Londoh, where he is stay- that Ferdinand Bruckner did noting, when a Press representative kist, and that the name was a pen asked him innocently what love name. But who actually is behind parts he had mostly enjoyed play this name? The German literary } ing. "When people ask me to tell world is trying in vain to find out, how I play love scenes and regard¦ There are indications, it is claim me as an actor who plays nothing ed, that Theodor Tagger, a Vien but love scenes," he continued, "I nese producer, is Ferdinand say to them, 'Do you expect a Bruckner. But Tagger has never pianist to tell you why he plays admitted it. The only fact that black keys in preference to white might be pointing his way is that ones! I am a dramatic actor, and Mr. Tagger, has been acting as I act my parts as they come. If agent, for Ferdinand Bruckner's the star who plays with me is a plays that she conducted the nego good actress, why so much the bet tiations with publishers and pro- ter. But I cannot say which ne ducers; that royalties for Ferdin. tress in the best to play with. and Bruckner were paid to her have been in Hollywood fifteen banking secunt. But that is all years, and have seen many changes Mrs. Tagger will admit. In a re- in the technique of film production. cent low suit in which publishing Talkies are interesting, but diffi- rights had to be discussed, and cult to play. They have yet to be which was thought would finally developed, and so has colour pro- reveal the identity of the clusive duction, which will be wonderful bread and water is a commonplace Ferdinand Bruckner., Mrs. Togger when it is natural. I 'consider the punishment. Children of gevon and simply produced a document stat-two finest film actresses we have Leight aro herded with hardened ing that she had full authority to are Mary, Pickford and Gloria criminals of twenty. In one in- ............_toproente-Ferdinand Bruckner in Swanson. Ca the whole. I do not i stitution the girls sleep with the
plays. But, beyond that, she re- actresses as men are actors-especi- them all night from a high dais.
This puzzle took 23 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it."
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
VOWED OBEX
DAMNJAR BIAVEI
MAEGE: (MAID
che
I
rule. Solitary
on
OVALTINE
Builds up Brain, Nerve and Body
STAR THEATRE
4
NIGHTS ONLY 4
PRIOR TO THEIR DEPARTURE FOR LONDON
EDGAR WARWICK
ANNOUNCES A SHORT FAREWELL VISIT BY THE
WARWICK REVUE CO.
THURSDAY, DEC. 19..
FRIDAY,
SATURDAY,
SUNDAY,
20....
21
21.
22.....
."THE PEEP SHOW"
•
“HIGH LIGHTS"-
............................ THE WHIRLIGIG”
"FAREWELL FARE".
SOLELY TO AMUSE
Plans open at Moutrie's and the Star.