HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Man: "Sonny, who is the head, of this establishment
Errand Boy: Dunno, but I'm the legs."
Mamma, you know, we had an 50-piece dinner set"
Yes. "darling." "Well, it's 81 now."
"Did you get a good view of the country during your auto ride?"
John did. Ho crawled
under
a lot of the billboards."
Mistress: Was
a good one, Janet?"
Servant (after deliberation); "Well, ma'am, I used not to think. 30!"
your
Inst
place
Lady Clow-worm: "I never want to see you again!
Male Glow-WOFIN: All right, dearic. You glow your way and I'll glow mine."
Mistress: The master complain-} ed very strongly about the bacon this horning, Mary,"
Cook: "Well, murm will you tick ' off, or shall 17"
Teacher (after giving lesson on Egypt and the Nile); "You tell ne, Freddy, Bow it is possible to get anything to grow on these sunscorched plains,"
Freddy:
Nile.'
By irritating the
Lady Visitor (to boy's mother); Can't little Jatars recite some of "the verse he learns at school 1"
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 30. 1929.
Bride: "How much is your sult p
Grocer: Tea cents bag,
ma'am."
Bride: Is it perfectly fresh ?.
Grover: No, sir! No cheques. I wouldn't cash & cheque for my own brother,"
Customer: Well, of course, you know your family better than I do."
Mrs. Brown: But why should your husband want to sell your new car?"
Mrs Smith: "Oh, he says the outgo for upkeep is too much for his income.
Mabelle, was a poetess.
But she married a plumber man; More cash in the pipes of a plumber,"
than in the pipes of
She says,
Paa."
41
With a single stroke of a brush," said the school teacher, taking his class round the Nation al Gallery, Joshua Reynolds could change a smiling face to a frowning one."
So can ny mother," said a small bay.
Bess:Ye're late this morning, Rastus."
Rastus; "Well, sah, when Ah looked in de glass dis mornino' Ah couldn't see meself there, so Ah thought Ah'd gone to work. 1: was only some time afterward dat Ah discovered, dat de glass had dropped out ab de frame!"
Boston Jamie: "No. Poetry, ne cording to my way of thinking, is without logical coherence and there-ber. fore devoid of interest, but I shall, if you desire, state some of the formulas of higher mathematics.”
Porter: "Misa, yo' train is com- ing."
Pedantic Passenger: "My good man, why do you say, 'your train' when you know that the train be longs to the company "
Porter: "Dunno, miss.
Why
do yo' say 'mah man' when yo' krows Ah belongs to mab wife?"
;
"It's a fine day," said the bar- It is," agreed the little man, who was about to be shaved.
There was a long silence. The barber tried again.
"What party do you favour in the coming election ?" he asked.
The same ore as yourself," said the little man.
This was too much for the barber. "Look here, sir" he said, "how on earth do you know what my opinions are?
I don't." said the customer; but you're got the razor."
45
CROSSWORD PUZZLE,
12
16
17
la 1
10
ht
12
1114
15 16
(19
19
Horizontal,
1.-Fireplace. 6.-Metric weight.
11.-Prayer.
19.-Scarceness
14.-Skating place.
16.-To ponder.
17.-Musical note. 18. A colour.
19-Frolicsome act, 20.-Ocean... 91.-Four.
29-African antelope.
23.-Phophet.
24-Closing tightly.
28.-Harbours.
27. Parts of body.
28.--Resounded.
29.-Kind of ship (plural). 31.-Loitera.
34. Well ventilated.
35.-Raves.
36.-Exclamation. 37-Part of shoe. 38.-Flying limba, 30-Song for two, 40.-Latin for and. 41.-To tangle. 49.-Delicate. 43,-To strip. 45.-Correcta.
47.--Clothes.
48.-Canvas houses.
Vertical,
1.-To sorrow.
*2.--Skin.
4-Part of infinitive.
6. One who takes part.
6. To pulverize.
7-Social station.
8.-Noah's ship. 0.-Musical note." 10.-Thoroughfare, 11.-Kind of iris.
13. Time divisions.
10. To suspcad. 19.-Works hard. 20.-Kind of cloth. 2.-Funeral, sorg.
23.-Lyrics.
25.-Ablaze.
28.-Breaths rapidly.
28.-Curl...
20.-Halted,
30.-Disturber.
31.-Aisle.
36
32.-Divisions of boxing match..
33.-Foot coverings
-35,-Splits.
38. To walk in water,
39,-Force.
41.-To Scrub.
42.-Marsh,
44.-Negative.
48.Pronoun,
This puzzle took 23 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it.
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
HER
BİFİTİRE
SHOED
EDDAZ
HAR RAILS BOR
REPOLE" TONALE [DATED HDGES
SNAPSHOTS OF A MAN MEETING THE FAMILY
„ARRIVES AT STATION HALF AN HOUR TOO EARLY, TO NEET FAMILY RETURN ING FROM VACATION
COMPARES WATCH WITH STATION COCK. ALL CORRECT AND TRAIN A TIVE MINUTES LATE
Quyos
WANDERS AROUND LOOKING AT NEWSTAND DISPUNS AND WISHING HE HADN'T COME SO
EARLY
WATT MERVOUSLY TAE- 'PING FOOT AND BESIN- NING TO HOLD FAMILY PERSONALLY RESPON- SIBLE FOR BEING LATE
WRHANS ** (Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
PICTURES
11
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
AT LAST IS ABLE TO AND OUT WHAT "TRACK TRAIN IS DUE ON. STATIONS HIMSELF AT SATE
DECIDES THE TRACK MAY HAVE BEEN CHANGED OR THERE
MAY BE SOME LATER
TO BULLETIN BOARD
NEWS. DASHES OVER
NOTHING HAPPENS, RE- READS LETTER FOR TENTH TIME TO HAKE SURE HE'S COT DATE AND TIME RIGHT"
RETURNS TO GATE TO FIND TRAIN HAS MEAN- WHILE ARRIVED AND FACH
ANNOYED AT HIS BEING ILY IS WAITING, RATHER
LATE
AND PLAYS.
***
HOME SICK
WITH
SAMMY COHEN
AT THE
TOM MIX
IN
FINAL" SHOWINGS TO-DAY
at. 2.80, 5.10
7.15,
9.20
THE ARIZONA WILDCAT
AT THE
STAR
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
A 6.30 & 9.20.
DOUBLE ATTRACTION
CHARLIE CHAPLIN in "THE KID " JOHN GILBERT in ̈“ARABIAN LOVE
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
AT THE
WORLD
CINEMA NEWS.
HOMESICK." DRAWS GOOD
HOUSES.
Those who like comedics will enjoy "Homesick,"
Of the type popularly known as "slap-stick comedies," this picture proved to be distinctly entertaining film fare, introducing several new and funny "
gags. Sammy. Cohen of "What Price fame and Harry Sweet
The play, The
First Mrs. had a long Scottish managerial : The late Dr. Rudolf Steiner's Fraser," written Ervine, is quite in the Haymarket's and long ran it with great success.
by St.
John career before. coming to London. method for teaching elocution was He built the Kennington Theatre illustrated by a section of the best modern comedy vein, The! He also managed several suburban Dornach recently at Rudolf Stei- thoroughly
Gotheanum Speech Chorus from game-part, splendidly acted by and provincial playhouses and be Mario Tempest, who (of course) Arthur Theatres, Limited. One of
ner Hall. The executants, com- which kept the audience at the came managing director of Robert prising twelve men and twelve Queen's Theatre in hysteries from also had a magnificent reception, his most recent managerial posts
men. recited in unison a number has divorced her husband long be was at the Croydon Grand. He truth of inflection always impres performances of this comedy yes- of poema with a unanimity and the beginning to the end at all fore the curtain rises. That exly esteemed by all who knew him.
was a very earnest worker and high sive and at times with thrilling terday.
effecta that attested to elaborate husband (the Ainley role), a Scot
and concentrated rehearsal. with much of the canniness of his race, has since married a
In the past week six American Universal will re-make very companies
"The have announced the young and pretty but very vulgar names of 215 talking pictures to be sound. "The Storm" was released Storm" with full dialogue and and selfish minx, who is, in effect, i presented to the publie, in the film as a silent picture by Universal in Glory giving her middle-aged spouse un-August. The inout interesting fea- record that stood until the release Sammy Schnaber" and the latter as year which begins on the first of 1029. It established a gross rental supply all the fun, the former as adulterated Inferno. It is not alto- ture of these announcements is the of "The Hunchback of
"ad" in Notre Ambrose. Through an gether surprising, therefore, that great number of original "stories Dame."
the papers, they learn of the exist Fraser, being still friendly with his picture production, by distinguish should make "The Storm"
being specially written, for talking Addition of dialogue and sound care of " Babe"" (Majorie Beebe), family, keepe barging into his ex-ed novelists and dramatists. This stronger drama. The dialogue and fornia. Both (unknown to each maid in a household in Cali- wife's house for "advice" and a is important as shewing the revolt synchronization rights have been other, of course) reply to the ""ad" little pence and quiet." Nor will from the adaptation which the chief purchased by Universal from the and with due encouragement that it amaze you to learn that having, the silent film. Moreover, it seems
stand-by and the chief reproach of playwright. Langdon McCormick. worthy girl sends each of her ad after much tribulation, contrived reasonable to suppose that these had a long run at the Broadhurst marry her..
As a stage play."The Storm," mirers a photo-both aspire to to divorce his frivolous, faithless stories will have real merit, since Theatre, New York, with Helen desire to win enough money to second spouse, Fraser shows signs of there is indication of a high stand- MacKellar in the leading role.
Then the fun begins. In their settling down again to marriage ard of drama in the selection of with the First Mrs. F,
such subjects as "The Passing of the Third Floor Back," Such en Green Goddess," "The Sign on the are Dangerous," "Disraeli," "The Door," "Condemned to Devil's Island, The Last Waltz" and
The Dollar Princess."
Throughout the theatrical world deep regret is expressed at the death of the famous mannger, Mr. Robert Arthur. Mr. Arthur, who wns.73,
even
Beginald Barker directed The plunge into matrimony, both go Storm" as a motion-picture. the through many comical situations principal roles being played by before Sammy enters a cross-co un- Matt Moore. House Peters, Virginia Valli and bicycle race in an attempt to win the prize-money. Ambrose," "The Storm production at Universal for next Sammy at paker, follows in a ear will soon go into who has lost all his money, to
season's release.
to recover his lost possessions, but being accursed with corns, he comes off second best in all his encoun ters with Sammy, who is aware of bis weak spot
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
NIGHTCAPS AND CORDIALS.
MULLED ALE,
DO YOU KNOW?
Darning table linen calls for ex- quisite work if the darns are to be neat and inconspicuous.
It is a good plan to stitch a piece of fine white net on the wrong side of the article, over the hole. Then run your stitches in and out of the holes in the net, taking up a little of the linen around the hole. In this way the dam can be kept per- fectly flat and even, and the net also strengthens the weak place.
The same method can be used for darning stockings, using coloured net to match.
The good country ale is flavoured with sugar and spice, thickened with beaten-up eggs and laced with rum. It is heated in an old beer- heater, a long, conical-shaped copper horn with a big curved handle, which is pushed into the heart of the fire until the mixture.
Egg nog, caudle and milk punch are for the invalids and convales froths, when it is properly mulled cents. Egg, the white and yolk and ready to be served in mugs. beaten separately, boiling milk, Mulled wine is very good, too, sugar and sherry go to make egg and often accompanies the women- nog, while caudie is made of thin folk upstairs.
gruel into which eggs, are beaten, Port or claret flavoured with until the gruel becomes creamy.
and spiced wine is slowly stirred sugar and cinnamon is sometimes used, but generally our own home- made wines from the farmhouse cellar make the bedtime cordials.
To Ward Of Golds.
CLEAN THE THROAT.
Rheumatic heart disease results
from infections generally classified under the term streptococci, "Do not shy from the word," says Dr. "It is a dangerous one." E. Rodney Pinke of New York,
He reminds us that Dr. Cabot
of Boston calls the streptococcus
Sammy eventually wins the cross- country race despite all the ob- stucles set up by Ambrose, besides having to avoid a herd of buffaloes, cross a desert and fight a forest fire. The end is also in keeping with the rest of the picture, even the final fade-out being extremely comical.
Sammy Cohen and Harry Sweet take an excellent comedy team and "Homesick " can be thoroughly, recommended for an hour and a half of continuous entertainment.
the worst enemy of mankind. There pleas are being laid to strengthen News from New York states that
Continuous Performance Frox 1.15 to 11.15.
RETURN ENGAGEMENT OF
TORGAT'S ROOSTERS
OF 60
A "TROUPE GAME FOWLS IN A »RIOT OF COMEDY, ECCENTRICITIES AND ACROBATICS!
with
"COCO"
THE ONLY ROOSTER COMEDIAN IN THE HISTORY OF THE
STAGE!
COMMENCING
OCTOBER 3RD
T THE
STAR THEATRE
At 5.30 & 9,20
PRICES:
5.80 p.m.-$1.00 & 60 cents 9.20 p.m.-81.50 & 80 cents
sad write a Chit to 11, Ice House Streat ́
BEFORE YOU SAIL
bacterium, but some varieties have Lombard Street by means of inter- are many varieties of this form of the ties between Wall Street, and FILL YOUR FOUNTAIN PEN a special faculty of attacking the national athletic meetings for their heart and blood vessels, producing representatives. At present the rheumatic heart disease.
proposal, is that contests in golf, "A diseased mouth, infected gums lawn tennis, and athletics, and and teeth or diseased and infected possibly rowing, should be arrang tonails, are the principal ports of ed, and Wall Street will probably entry into the body of these send envoya to London to negotiate" germa," explains Dr. Fiske. "Other such meetings Various prominent mucous surfaces, such as the nasal athletes connected with Wall Street passages and sinuses, may also are sponsoring "the scheme, and permit the passage of these bacteria powerful Snancial organisations, and their products into the blood such as the Guaranty Trust Com stream and thence to the heart and paay and Equitable Trust Com blood vessels The result of such pany, and many large brokerage blood stream infection is an active firms have promised their support. inflammation involving first the lining membrane of the heart and later its muscle structure.
'The answer then for protection is obvious: Early and constant care of the mouth and throat.
SERVICE TO NEADERS..
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESE, LTD., and the HONG KONG WEEKLY PRESS, through
and order the Weekly Press to be sent to you Overseas. It conta
$3.75 for three months.
$7.50 for six months. $15.00 for a year,
ON SALE.
The Flick of Brandy. Milk punch has a flick of brandy added to a mixture of hot milk,
The rheumatic heart diseases Elderberry, aloe, damson, and is best drank in the proportion of tococcic origin are more prone to their London Office, at 21, BRIDE
lemon and sugar, and rum and milk occur in the early decades of life, when contagious diseases of strep- black-currant wines, with the addi- half a glass of rum to half a pint of occur, so that the young form A LANE, FLEET STREET, E.C. 4, BTG DIG tion of sugar, lemon and boiling milk, sweetened and flavoured with large percentage of this group. pared to give Bubscribers and water, all make pleasant nightcaps, nutmeg-it needs a very bad cold especially from 10 to 20 years of raspberry and ginger cordials are to withttand that.
Visitors advice regarding accom- very popular, too.
modation available, motoring faci- The children have their night-
VOLUMES Many of these cases could have lities. mitable shopping centres, BOUNDNGOLONG caps, too. Hot milk with a tea been prevented if diseased teeth, t
WEEKLY apoonful of treacle added, honey gums and tonsils had been properly and lemon drinks and black currant cared for. Tonsils are the worst
If, when at home, they will callRESS, July to December, 1928. or telephone to the above address, jam cordial are all favourites, and offenders, and should be removed they will receive the utmost assist WITH INDZI, PRIOR-$7.50. are administered when the young with any positive evidence of infec- thee and the latest available intor sters are in bed so that they can be tion. A clean throat usually means mation on all subjects of enquiry cosily tucked up afterwards.
n clean heart,"
"will be placed at their di powal.
Ginger cordial is made by first bruising the ginger roots, simmering them for hours, and adding sugar and lemon-it is excellent for ward. ing off a cold or getting rid of
feverish chills,
(Continued on next Column).
A
age.
Da Bale at the Hord Kong DAILY PASS OICHE.
the.