Page

THE CHINA MAIL, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY

1058.

Page 5:

TABEL

This Funny

World

"For a dollar an hour, Jeffrey said he'd sit up with

BY

himself."

WAY THE •

by Beachcomber

•JACOBY ON BRIDGE

Mostly Razzle,

Little Dazzle.

By OSWALD JACOBY

THE

THE unlucky expert looked so Woebegone that I actually lateat asked him about his Tragedy. Here is his tale:

"East won the opening dio- mond lead with the ace and played the queen. The opening bid marked Enst with the nee of spades and at least one of the black queens. I decided to try the spade suit first and led the ten. I played low from dummy and East won with the ace,"

"Didn't you allow for the chance that East might be using the old book ploy of taking with the ace instead of the queen?" I asked.

"No," he replied. "I was play- Ing against the worst player in the club and it was just tm-

NORTH AKJOO

20

EAST (D){

AQS ❤J5

163

+32

4AJ27

WEST

few years.

4732

enjoy

public hitherto starved of wil consider the theory that a three-dimensional sound

will reduction of armaments is more this likely to bring peace

10874

+054

• AQ10B

than an

RAT

1084

BOUTH

I is fervently, hoped that a action in the nexi

cel

Dr Rhubarb's Corner

soon be able to delicacy by turning on a radio increased competition in arma-

television

simul- ments. snd faneously.

vl Also, latest developments aromavision have brought nearer stereophonic the possibilty of smile

three-dimensionni in a

from boll blend of tragrance sala.

(Interval for nausea.) Fontenough persists

1994

KJ8

AKQZ

K$2

G

No one vulnerable

East 1+ Poz

South West

North

1 N.T.

3 N.T.

Prax PO

2 N.T.

Pass

Pass

We found N.L. writes: strange man asleep in our dust- in the ather morning. We woke him, but he wouldn't get out, 20 we gave him a cup of tea, and he went to sleep apain. What should we do?

Dr Rhubarb saym: If he lu, not within 43 hours he

WEET morsel, my repeated claimed

advances are met by a belongs to you,

S

Tesistance which goes beyond

the bounds of mailen modesty. Twice I have haunted that bar Nka a thirsty whost; but there are more romantic thirsts than that drynces of the gullet which le the lot of the fallen human

Do fascinate you Tace. much that you cannot yourself to partake of your favourite

cocktail presence? yours

AU trust

mu

Or has that aunt of persuaded you that

have an Arab steed tethered to the back door, and am waiting to fly with you across the torrid desert of Piccadilly to my little fastness in Duke-strect? If the TOC exquisite mountain will deign to drinke with Mohammed, then Mohammed must seek her

in her home, aunt or no aunt.

Scientific dalliance

Meteorologists are glaciers, to

Tespond

SURELY,

Su

watching สนบ

how ste

News Item

surely

even

the

coldest glacier will meit under those ardent glances.

Forging ahead

THE Government is said to be

of. A

making preliminary arrange- ments, tentatively, which might lead to the appointment Committee uf Experts, who would prepare a report on the rumour that most people in this country believe that one way of of nuclear avolding the weapons is not to have any. At the same time, the committer,

a view to with

some Bor

1150

CHESS

By LEONARD BARDEN

79

CROSSWORD

1. Morrow. (V)

Actuse

7 For tencera. (4)

9. Feminine pronoun (3)

11. Mountaina. (4)

Cbraltar vir (51

13. Confera 11. 3. 21

15. grid & lotter (*

19. Work for money 14)

20. Agra with utili

Valley, 141

22. Wartime statlan oficia). (1, 1, 1)

23 They ma rake quite a weight

(0)

Down

1. Unfeeling. (9)

2. Punca. (4)

Orchard unit 15-41

4. Name. (4)

6. Sweetmeat. (0)

6. Baitate. (WE

8. BibiCA!

name. (4)

. Weep. (3)

10, Longtheha

103

11. Od exÜLBIN-

Atton (4)

la Hurot.. 443 10. Qirls name

17. Ee playır

IB. Excited, 14)

of

From actual play: White to meye and win.

Solution No. 5345: 1 Q-R4 "threat 2 Q-Q1), PXQ; 2 P-

Q4, or B-K7; 2 KI-K12.

London Kiprase Service

TARGET

FEU

CNA

How many

words of Tour Lostrin or more cun you make from the letters in the square oll the left in making cath word, (DD letters in cach of the small squares may be used onto only. Excl word must contain the Jetler In te geutre square, and there must be at east one pine-letter word in itia

st. No plurats

N A N

no toreig

Dames.

word the FZ WYDZ

TODAYT

wood, 1 words, very gond; 84 Halathey words excellent. tomorrow

YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION: Airy mity

Dry mugs mint wher pully mackerel Tes

• 15g tire termina train tries trie.

Folder's editor

Opening lead-♦ 6

possible that he would be mak- ing that play. Still took the of eashing the ace precaution

and king of clubs to see if the would drop, and the queen

the three top hearts to see it sult would break. East dropped the five of spades on the third heart.

"Then something that could only happen to me occurred. I led the nine of spades and let it ride. East dropped the seven

I of diamonds and as

WOR raking in the trick West asked, 'No spades, partner?

"East fumbled around and finally produced the queen of spades with on apology to

the effect that he thought it was the queen of clubs all the time,

"He had worked the old age- queen razzle-dazzle on me but only by the sheer accident of belig too dumb to tell a club from a spade!"

♥CARD Sendent

Q-The bidding has been:

Wen! North Poss 2

East

South

1.

I A

Pass

You, South, hold

*KJ97 ♥2 AQ65 AKATS

What do you do?

A-PALL Two no-trump tempting but should be avoided. Your singleton heart is a weak- ness, not strength.

TODAY'S QUESTION West doubles and North and East pass. What do you do now? Anwer Tomorrow

YOUR BIRTHDAY

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 7

WOMANSENSE

SYLVIA LAMOND calls on the admiral's daughter who has a husband worth £18,000,000

How Fiona tamed

HAD my own idea of what a thrice-

married Austro Hungarian baron with

at home on a winter morning.

I had it firmly in mind as I ploughed through the DOW of St. Morita to see Baron Thyssen at his mountain residence.

He would be wearing boots and a ruby ring

.. and

be brooding by a huge log fire with a bloodhound or two sprawled at his feet. He

would clap his hands once-

a servant would recharge his vodka glass two claps-a

band gipsy

would spring from behind a curtain and start playing.

Can you imagine the lot. down when I arrived ?

The multi-millionaire baron in grey slacks and a pullover was typing at a card table- working on what is known in the family as his "rep's report" on his steel and coal empire

So homely

No ruby ring... no blood- hounds just a smoochy golden retriever named Bhandy, resting her chin on When his knee-no vodka.

to drinking-orgy It came Lime the baron louked out of the window like a careful English colonel to check that it wasn't too early "Good-- the sun is over the moun- tata", then poured a small dry sherry.

Ta complete my disillusion there was the background music... Scottish reels from a long-playing record.

all distressingly I was homely and wholesome,

reproachfully I looked across at the woman respon-

third sible the

Ваголева Thyssen, our own. ex-model, Fiona Campbell-Walter.

Bhe was sitting at another card table, sticking snaps in Not a jewel in An album. aight not even an engage- ment ring.

No Cadillac

"What did you think? That I'd grown a pair of diamond-studded horns since she I married Heln!?" laughed.

"I've come a long way." i "I want some- grumbled. thing to write about. Have you got a mink bedspread ? "

"No." "Have you brought your hairdresser with personal you?"

"No. I washed it myself last time, which is why John French wouldn't want me at the other end of hla camers Just now."

*to that your Cadillac with

NO MINK, HO

JEWELS - AND

SHE DOES HER

SHOPPING ON A TOBOGGAN

skid-chaina óutaide ? "

"No. Heini has a Volks- wagen. But when I go to the village to fetch the post and papers I prefer to go on my toboggan."

I got up from my armchair, tripped over a hole in the slip rug, and followed Fiona into the hall, where she unearthed a clothes brush from a pile of shabby duffel coats. The beautiful baroness then pro- brush Shandy'a ceeded to haira from my pants.

Long walks

Surbiton in the snow on a

that's Sunday morning what this felt like.

It all confirmed what I've long suspected.

That no man-even if his background is poles apart- is any match for the "picely brought up girl of good British middle-class stock.

He will always wind up living life her way-and even enjoying it.

Friends of Heini Thyssen who have

bilm known through three marriages giva this one-with the daughter of a £2,200-a-year Scottish rear-admiral-the thumbs-up

sign.

"Heini nas Olled out," they say. "He has never looked so well and content."

He has found somebody who like going for long walks, is charming to his business friends and doesn't' mind being in a place out of season. (Most of the big names evacuate St. Moritz after New Year, then return in February. It's terribly un-chle to be here at all." gald Fiona, "but we're too lazy to move.")

There is no question that this shy, sensitive man has expanded under Fiona's Influence

her millionaire

Baron and Baroness Thyssen,

First wife

WIN

wife, his Arst Princess de Lippe, he must have found it hard to forget that she had sacrificed a royal title to marry an his Industrial baron... imperious blue-blooded in- laws turned up frequently.

A

With his second wife, the unfathomable Nina Dyer-a child of the soll. with developed eye for a jewn!-- he rarely escaped from the one or two friends who had atood by her lo dificult times and now reaped the benefit of her loyalty.

the mention Not to panther, the leopards and other oddments of wild life. which he foolishly gave lier when she said she toned animals more than people.

Now la life with Fibna

there are no more under- currents than you would find at a card game of Happy Families

Family girl

Mother came for Christ- mas," said Flona. "She fell in love with this sweater I'm wearing and tried to pinch it from me. Just because she. lent me ner mink acket years ago whon I was Miss Spirit of Park-lane.

Fiona is great family girl (she has two brothers and a sister) and would rather gather with the clap than with the international Bot.

She expecta a baby in the summer. which might account in part for the atmosphere

of rustic content. But mainly, I think, Heini's happiness comes from having found a level-headed girl who refuses to let 10,000,000 spall her fun.

Таке the Httle rumpus over their Christmas cards. Flona wrote the greeting in her own hand, then had it facsimiled on 400 cards.

The Swisa post office wanted to charge extra postage because, they claimed, more worda had written

than been

A fury...

five hand-

Flona. her Ecota blood simmering, gathered up 50 cards and a magnifying glass, flew to the postmaster and defied him to prove that the greeting had not been printed.

This she

something

like 2 1 4 gatisfied

herself, and bowled over her ever-loving with bewildered admiration.

Then there is her attlinde to the famous poster-a gaudy, purple poster with the baroness's face adver- tising cigaretics.

It was a modelling job she did in the old days, but the poster was never used-until she married, Then appeared all over Switzerland.

Cook Pork Thoroughly

That look

it

There is one stuck on the villa. aki lift near their Thyssen would buy them ap like a shot, It Flona threw a tantrum. But she shrugs : "I've got

of those one indeterminate faces asbody recognizes anyway. That's why I was a successful model -It goes with any outfit.

"One thing does niggle me Bald a bit, though," ahe thoughtfully, stretching her long legs in their pale blue pants. "The picture was so bad. I was never paid for it.

wonder if I should do something about that,

fletni glanced up from his typewriter with a look which is still new for him-the one which says proudly; "That's My Girl"

The beatified look a hus- band gives a wife--who has fust saved ním £2 la. Ta.

much more prevalent than i commonly appreciated, among LOVERS of pork and its

people who eat pork. Those who products need to be re-

do not, naturally escape this in- minded from time to time

tection. The immediate symp- toms which follow the eating of about the importance of

Improperly cooked Infocied pork cooking pork thoroughly to

and are seldom recognised nvold becoming infected

rarely in medical attention called and the delectable can- with a parasite, the trichina o basis for rejecting pork as a Note especially the deeper parts burgers should be eaten well-

The existence of a or large roasts, near the bone, done,

They consist mainly foodstuff.

raw meat to them,

urunily parasite or pork worn.

which may be tran to be sure that the meat is white Bibal sandwich, of

the way through, This and onlon, should be eaten only of digestive upsets, Pork is an excellent meat, not smitted by this meat is not all

"stomach flu"-what- enly from the standpoint of unique: beef and fish may also advice, applicable to the cooking when it is positively known to attributed to dielary indiacre-

uf raw pork applies also to pork be purely beet. Curing and one or Bayour and versatility, but, as, a transmit parasites 'ir infected.

pickling of pork, without cooks. ever that 1st-but seldom to the cource of protein, fat and

guilty pork, The precautions against the sausage meat," By STELLA trains of the B-group. Except pork

Some simple and

"hamburger" contalus ing, does not kill the parasite. parasite are

W. W. BAUER, M.D. The pork parasite has been for religious reasons, there is easy; cook pork until it is white, pork, and therefore all bam-

This

have what is how the rest of the world ve so BOY today, you

own called a "social consciousness," that you may compare your

with the You are ever cancerna

country's status with that of other welfare of all mankind And will countries. You have a sharp sense study it carefully and seriously of analysis and are excellent judge If character, being able to under- at you will be able to give help. You have a definite gift for 10 and the underlying motivation be- written word, and you would be n hind, the surface indications,

akt to can be a valuable

In your valuable asset when it Commuisting Criancitig You will probably be able to speak Although you have great layo well in public, too, and may spend and compassion for all the world. much more at your time expand-

your own romalle life is apt to be ing your ideas before the public. A Bule confused, docɑ you may not find it easy to confine your devotion to any one individual or the ampil BONG who family group. Wed understands this facet of your per-

Gr. writing.

it is likely that your ideas will be new, even revolutionary, to some conservatives. Consequently in the early suzes you will have oppvetilus vonality. to your planning. But t per- mist, putting one at your ideas into operation, you will find that many will be won over to your site and, a lime goes on, continue to crusade with you.

When action appears impossible,

Among those born on this date were: Stoclair Lewis and Charles Dickens BOTS:

Gutri- planist;

Palmer lowitsc Putna publishers,

Alfred Adler, psychologisi,

George aid

you will use, the biling zatire of your To and what the stars have in per to drive hom

store for you tomorrow, select your birthday star and read the cares portant point. Bince you are not 4 person to travel the conventional punting paragraph. Let your birth- road, you probably will want to wee day ular be your daily guide.

AQUARIUS (Jan.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8

X4)

the social or budinems ̈reat.

24-Aug. An Important day for you, either in Combine busirioss with pleasure to- Com- day. You can relax tensions of the your past few days and really have some

fun.

21-Feb. 19)-- LEO (Jnly

24-бере

pleto a project important to future.

PISCES (Feb. 20-Mar 20)- VIRGO (ADE. Don't neglect romance! This is

Jay and hoppiness.

ARIES

4

(lar 21-Apr. 2D) Just be co-operative today and you Will sucosed in getting just about what you want out of life.

BOYS' AND GIRLS' MAGAZINE

In King Arthur's Court

-Sir Knarf, Sir Theodore and Sir Hiawatha Pay A Call→

By MAX TRELL

PEHIND the bookcase ran

called Book Boulevard.

#

towers soaring into the air. Floga and pennants flew from the tops of the towers. From somewhere inside the castle, came the sound ut a trumpet.

and

"They won't hurt us," he said. "King Arthur is a good king.

Then Knarf shouted back at the top of his voice: "We are I'm Sir Knaci, three nights! With me are Sir Theodore, the Stuffed Bear, and Sir Hiawatha, the Wooden Indion, May wa come in?!!

"Enter,

Sir Knarf and Sir Theodore and Sir Hiawatha," the voice of the Herald inside King Arthur's castle called out.

The next instant, the great Knart, Teddy and Hiawatha marched in.

"I wonder if King Arthur's

"Who's there?" a voice called hone," said Teddy.

With that, he rang the bell, wat, "What are your names?"

and Knart

Teddy No sooner did Teddy ring the It was a lovely street. Thery bell than on atpazing thing hap. Hiawatha looked at one another. "We'd better may something," were shade trees growing on pened, both sides of it, almost hiding

The door of the house turned said.Teddy, nervously.

Hiawatha sald he wanted lo the rows of lovely houses,

into a gigantic Iron gate. The Now look at who lives here!" house itself suddenly grew all go home, but Kaart held him iron gate clanged open and Knart, the Shadow Boy with the and wide with great turrets and back. Turned-About Name, exclaimed

to his friends Teddy, the Stuffed Bear, and Hiawatha, the Smail- Sized Wooden Indiún.

Teddy and Hiawatha crowded up to look at the name printed on the letter box.

Fine Name

"It's a fine name," said Teddy. Hiawatha said: "Which end zado you read it from?"

day wideh can bring you exceptional Being co-operative on ise job can prove of the uunosi importance, to your future welfarn today,

LJBKLA (Dept. 24-Oct

sald "All right,"

Knari. Best posle results can be obtained today. Previous plans Nould cul-

"Neither of you can read so I minate in a rip-roaring succEM.

shall have to read it for you. ЯСОПРО (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)

The name on this lotter box, in Romantic interests should be stress-

| KING ARTHUR.”.... Announce an engagement. ed now, Entertain for the happy pair.

"Who's ha?" asked Teddy. Before Knarf had a chance, to SAGITTARIUS (NOV. I}<D46, 23}~

answer, Hiawatha grunted: The outlook is fine. You can schiave itut about what you want is you select the most important thing frek

khows who King "Everybody 22-July 21) Plan well and then execute those Arthur is. Ho's a Big Chief who

efficiently. Concentra Put the anal mark of approval on pe plans strendy, in the works. Buscenttoris on vaching an important lived long ago in England."

""That's right, HI," said Khart

1)--

ZAURUR (Apr. 21-MAY This can be the best Saturday" month. for your interests tomance is sure to play an important part,

GEMINI (MAY

ZZ-Juzb Your future welfare may be at slake, so put forth your best efforts to achieve your goal. You reach i

CANCRA

(June)

'now' promised.

CBA

●bjective.

21

Rupert and the Lost List-5

something very queer about this.” They alfall aleat until Rupert calls out again. "Look, there's a little boy and a little girl. Who Ah, those are the are they?" two strangere I have been trying to tell you about," says Alay. 'Let's ask them to play with us,”

At Algy's worda is in Rupert's tumn to look specially interested. You say you were talking about Christmas when the-noises cro?" be asks. “Now I come to think of it, my Daddy and were speaking of Chrisimse when There's ww board the sounda 1

ALLÚZITIUKE: BESIGYER

Inside

the castle courlyard, they came on dozens of knights dn armour, mounted on horses. Sume of the knights were armed with lances and

some had

swords.

"Welcome, Sir Kharfi Welcome Filr Theodore!

Welcome Sir Hiawatha!" cried the knights.

Knart sold: "You must be the knights of the Round Table!"

When Toddy rang the bell, a strange thing happened,

self.. Beside Alm șat Queen Guinevere,

And on the other side of King :

Sir Merlin, the Arthur stood Megnificent Magician.

"You must. stay to dinner," Lald King Arthur to Sir Knar!,,, One of the tallest and the Sir Theodore and Sir Hiawatha, strongest of the knights intro-

Tall And Strong

duced himself; "I am Sir So the three trlenda atayed to Launcelot.

dinner which was served on the He introduced caverat of the wonderful and furious Hound

such other knights,

as Sir Tablo.

Bir Mordrod, Gawaine, Sir

Kialahad.

And that was the vialt that Kriar and Teddy and Hiawatha The three friends were then made to one of the houson en taken into the castin, And there, Book Boulevard which rune be-

throne in the hind the bookcase in the Fisy sitting on the Great Hall was King Arthur rolint.

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