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|POCKET CARTOON
by OSBERT LANCASTER
B
"Maudial If that's the one about Poppy Wensleydale and the Turkish bath attendant, it's secret and imited, not just discreet !"
PARADE
!
THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, MARCH 3, 1956.”
A COLUMN OF THE UNUSUAL ABOUT
PEOPLE AND PLACES AND THINGS
increase
HE JUST
Regimental Ser- £600; and a pension of about
week--an Major 24. 145, a MAKES IT geant -
Henry Burden,
of £1." of the Royal Artillery Wool- wich, has been In the Army more than 30 years. In that Umo he has seen many chưnges,
of including number rlees, and he is staying long enough to benent troni the Lewest rates which
come into force on April 1-but only just, He retiren on April 8 ind gind It is not a week earlier.
Children between five and 18 cara (na opposed to infants) áld not drink any more milk at RSM Burden, whb enlisted as home than adults, But they a boy in 1025, has been in the took more with breakfast foods.
The
Indicates Survey
That Royal Artillery throughout his services, and knows most of expenso and dislike of the laste
two mein were the pay the old Army
drink plain East During the Inst wir he why people do not served in Burma, France and milk. Germany. He will be 40 day after he retires,
stalions in tho
the
is
He says: "i week's pay al
shall get "
145., in- 14. stead of £11. 4.; increase
ALL OVER ACAIN
Charles 05
Tomil, -year-old
hay
molding
of about £00 on my terminal
rant,
It
more
A British Crossword Puzzle
12
13
14
116
18
19
22
23
24
126
ACROSS
3 Hopeful (8)
@ Column (6).
9 Harkened (8)
11 Trespasses (8)
12 Siminer (42
13 Exclude (3)
18 Tendon (5)
10 Cooker
(4)
22 Temperate (8)
24 Servant (8)
25 Heavenly drink (0)
20 Hoisting device (8)
YESTERDAY'S CROSSWORD· Aci
| Dievido (5)
9
DOWN
2 Wand pnstrument (5)
3 Greets ceremontogsly (7)
Purched (41
5 obtains (4)
In (8)
(1):
pendent
TO A MESINK-chan cho
14 Arumal (5)
15 Venerates (7).
10 Cut (8).
17 German (0)
24 Faction (5)
Unazary (3).
12 Gand (4)
Nyt mee
thun
teave
3 The
20
Aspy
1
22 Audi
17 Knezak, 18 Preside 10 Spese 3 Texrace 15 771 Franftigt, 20 Gutter, 27 Secreted, 28 dies, 29 Dherect 2 Cater. Segla, 4 Juta 3 Delshi 6 Shrewd, Recede, 11 Crum, Energe, 18 Triast, Ed Alone 1 Paused, 19 Epoch
uly 24 Gin. 25 Ster
דיין
stonemason,
une of those never-ending Jobs, He is responsible for maintain- stonework of historic ing the Kenilwork Castic, Warwick-
and shire, In good condition, when he has been all the way round it is time to go back and begin.
He has been
doing that
ful the
now
pre-
27 your's 4)1 behalf Di Ministry of Works, but hls service in helping to serve one of Britain's most ancient monuments hus been recognised by the award of the Imperial Service Medali.
of
Me Toonila has been emplov- ed continuously at re 800- year-old castle since 1920, apart from some temporay transfers to other ancient monumenta
Every
thousancis your visitors from all over the world go to the castle, which was once royal residener. It was here that the first Queen Elizabeth otten entertained by Robert Dudley. Earl ht Leicester, in the latter part of the 16th century.
WIL.
LESC
•
Much
the
MILK DRINKING milk delivered to
Britain's doors step goes into eus of te, and people in the South seem to зного milk
than Northerners. These are two of the conchelonis drawn from મ
nine survey of unlik Sales
Just carried out Belushi BwDN May for
MIK the
Marketing
Board.
was drunk
rensons
The
real-life mystery
of 'Elizabeth Denham'
A real-life detective story
W
HO is Elizabeth
Denham?
The average consumption of milk in England and Wales is 4.0 pinta per head a week. The average for the towns In the The Survey was decimal 18. difference
bu- expected whe cause no account was taken of the large quantity drunk schools,
restaurants, the canicens, hotels and hospitius,
CALLEY AS A coul's galley CHURCH
all that temat of a Royal Navy alore base, is to be convertal
In
into a cburen at Maria Clos
Havint, langsaite. The base was used during the war, but now all its buldings have the been pulled down, except galley The cost of Euring is
a church is estlasted £1,000,
ቢያ
soine
-line be a church or one slue and a recreation half on the other.
•
by Nancy Spain
But that was before I read her
SLEEP from book
(Chatto and Windna, 108.).
Why, how she will explain her endless week-ends away home to Nannie......
What
will
about
for
She was prob-
shc my, ably attached to example,
her bandaged Naval Intelligence during feet, hideously blistered by her war. Her publishers long trek across France?
Sho
them away explained chose her nume because it with a "story of an infectious matched hur personality, skin complaint, which mado treat me like a leper, and came "trippingly" off Nanniv
to putting disinfectant in the tongue.
She has been decorated
She
with the Legion of Honour. has two children, one She of whom is at Eton. was involved in a divorce Jense a year ago, and does
the defnil not want
**ad] brought up again."
find story of a
terrißed Lady
even
my bath!"
THE DOUBTERS
Spy which is making headlines on its truth.
have ford rung off from
stance telephone call to where she is in holiday, It.. "We are strowel no." she told
So why, why, why, Doctor Maric, dear, do I sleep like a now-born baby?
Is it possible that you,
who
Flow astonishing it is, after 60 years of battle, to find the old talk such a lot of common sense giri (now in her seventies], about everything else, are just a
teeny bit of a crank about sleep? tackling a subject so mild,
But, believe me, Dr Marie has even succeeded
Anding mattressed controversial.
WHAT BECAME OF
The fumes given off by "gaily LOUIS BROMFIELD?
coloured hot-water bottles" "give
Dr Marie "cramps in the legs,"
But
why?
#
X 1044
when
Wo all' road
Indeed, prople like me, who had also enjoyed "The Green Bay Tree" and "The Rains Come often asked leally what botume of Louis Bromheid, writer of
I asked "Elizabeth Denham"
Soft foam rubber mattresses HE hasn't written a novel since about Nannie and what had be, are **pernicious,” come of her, "She was pensioned "Because rubber is an insulator, "What became of Anna Bolton?" off," she said, laughing.
and cute you off from the electric one currents of the earth," I must say, if there is
I would person
like to meet more than "Elizabeth Denham"
YOUR BED
She has just suffered a very
herself t Nannie: Nannue, The building has been
who
Incredible frightened this
What else? Well, a bed of alick, corn-fed fiction? give an operation, and while Sunday seltool for
the whole your own for a start. Ani more than sha was convalescing wrote this woman In its new form it will
At lost here is my answer, in silk silkworm
nightgown. bork. I
RIGHT Gestapo.... LOOKED
And a big thick book FROM MY like (Pyjamas are pernicious.) Inevitably when a book
The Pleasures Cell, 128, 6). the fascinu, this appeurs, people cust doubts married people should not shure EXPERIENCE,
The Secret Service a room. Then you should sleep and Miseries of Life on a Farm
of head towards magnetic north, in (Cassell, 21m.); any they have never heard
"Naturally nol," saya a dark room. her.
Fifteen years ago, A setins, attached to them." "Elizabeth Denham," "I wasn't
Bromfeld, You should have two pillows, 00-year-old ert. 2in. Military In-
J11 who got 30,000 for the one sheet, one elderdown, phoney. telligence say she is a
right of "The Rains Come," 404 Her book tells how, a British "Well, I had nothing to do with
On a really cold night you tu up. He was particularly fed "Naval Intelli- tiem either." agrat in spite of herself,
which shegence?" I queried,
toput up with writing nedon, and there may put a blanket on went back to France to guide
the eiderdown, not under it seemed to him a "siliy" occupa- HEP in its miraculous re-
was the dead silence of assent. the
Why on earth, you ask?
who Well, tion, and was the critics, treat to Denkirk,
it's Ughter and warmer).
seemed "one degree sillier." After this she was sent 161
This
Ono After this, alas, there are lots
sn't surprising. 2ius 1. of all HERAL the
go wrong. critic saht Bromfield had ceased of things that con Indigestion, constipation, lack of to be second rate and bad, "by exercise, pala. All these things unrenuwung fourth rate. con rob you of sleep.
Or your thoughts Oh dear
So Fear.
bought tour me, yes. Grlet. "Worry.
His with sin. Obsession
To say forms in Ohio and reured nothing of Reading in Bed. This unspiration was Albert Schweit- ho de- Like Schweizer,
(including and animals) would be
FASHION. Suzan 15-1 [ IN NAMES 1190 popular
fur Dame
Hava christened in the Isle of Wiga during 1985, and Stephen f
clysis boys.
birth atauuncements reveals. Next favour for the girls were Linda and Jung, John. Davu! arch Michael wire high on the boys' list.
me
things, the use of explosives, "Explorives commeates Eliza
who even "lets of re- works with respect.”
beth, The
Names with royal associations were not us populer as might have bren expeeled. were unly Iwo Charles, six Anne, four Phillips and fout Elizabeths. No baby VVAS christened Hemy, Writer, Mary Victoria-names popular generation ago.
U1
*
UNFORGETTABLE
{ ASK YOU...... As the waves of sound came and went on the telephone to Milan i usted this woman who publicity so much, who won't have her photograph taken, if I could have her num-
ring ber so that I might
her back.
k
វរ
shull
Euisende aflor
Chey read like a glorious new novel
she gave me a telephone num by Ian Fleming or Sopper), en- counter after encounter (there is ber. "We shall be here all the une marvellous, indomitable old week-end." American lady whom
"Of course," she
said.
And
is the worst thing of the lot.
AND MINE
Well, now I ask you.
Does
Rever
who
YEAR'S A free pint of boun
every Sunday for BEER
year,
call, bull 1,000 bricks, a load of manure and a barrel ol oysters are among gifts promised for an
The Survey, just published. shows that 40 percent of milk bought
of by the familles Brinin wes used in beverages, Eighteen percent mainly tea.
plain milk, 10 pereen used in evoking, 12 per- cent in milic drinks, mainly enffee and cocoa, and 11 percent weken with breakfast cereals.
Survey During the
3,524 housewives.
chosen
in
the been Greater London area and live provincial
auction on behalf of appeals for Peterborough Cathedral and local boys' clubs to be held at the end of March.
A wide
variety of gifts have
'They contributed.
^
In-
ri clude fickets for a London
Zorget, Elizabeth Dea- that sound like someone ham builds up an unforgettable isn't telling the truth? picture of the dissembling, dis- integrating, dreamlike life of a
spy.
MARIE STOPES AND SLEEP
my
Industry,"
Bromiteid
zer.
cided t ed
plunts
sacred to him.
lite
become
cruel and caress treatment." There were starving sheep on
Far be it from me, ini
So Bromleid went to his to atten thirties,
wrangle Pleasant Valley, "ruvaged by with Dr Marie. (I admire her far too much for that.) But my ixed goes east and west and wased farms, woods "brutally shups the magnetic north. It is murderou" by "timber specula- loaded with tho thickest blankets I can find.
tors."
I read every night in
I'd never {otherwise
bed
my
arn
More than any narrator I have encountered she seems to fell
Bromfeld rescued them. the truth. For her reactions to
What an inspiring
scory it danger and violence and
get this always makes when a worldly brutally really are the reactions
forsukes suphistication, written). of
It nice, normal,
OVE and Marriage are nervous,
full of grief, man friendly, well-educated English favourite topics of conversa worry, and work thoughts and embraces nature, and makes the
I wilderness blossom like a rose. And what
she tion. So, of course, are they the I wear pernicious pyjamas. docs
at
But don't les forget that it Worry about every
time she favourites of Joan Regan, Alma don't take any exercise
was the £30,000 wrung Dr and whenever I can thought)
I have back comes
from her terrible Cogan, and
the "silly" art experiences in France?
Marie Stopes.
coloured hot-water bottle.
woman. elles-Cardiff, theatre, free hairculs for a year, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds
Newcastle-upon-Tyne
wore questioned.
VIGNETTES OF LIFE
ه
IF YOU HEAR A MUFFLED VOICE MUTTERING
DID YOU PUT ANTI-FREEZE IN THE CAR? DID YOU BUY A SNOW SHOVEL? ARE YOU SURE YOU PUT AWAY ALL THE LAWN FORNI -
TURE?—YOU BETTER GO INTO THE NEXT STREET WHERE YOU CAN'T HEAR IT.
un agricultural
roller, kitchen
sinks, steak luncheons and six
months' music lessons.
The Beautiful Snow
"HMM
HOT WATER ...
NOT BAD ! “
THE YOUNG BUSINESS MEN OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD ARE OUT TO FUT THEM- ĮSELVES ON A SOUND FINANCIAL FOOTING.
THEY CALL THIS SNOW/ WHY, 1. REMEMBER·
THROW AWAY THE OLD SHOVEL—— AND USE YOUR HEAD
HAVE YOU GOT YOUR. GALOSHES ON ? ARE YOU WEARING YOUR
HEAVY MUFFLERS ? ÄRE. THE BUSES RUNNING ? *
NOW I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING /
2-12
COP2, 1976 BY GENERAL FEATURES
COL, TM-WORLD RIGHTS RESERVED.
ALL IT TAKES IS ENOUGH SNOW TO ICE A THREE-LAYER CAKE.
BY
НАККУ
WEINERT
POSING?"
IT'S ALL NEW
TO THE PUR
PORTRAIT OF A SONG WRITER DASHING OFF AR SNOW SONG-HIT, FOR THE JUKE BOX TRADE.
all
from
of ficuon that enabled Old Farmer Bromileld to buy those four farms.
ONE
SENTIMENTAL
NE more book about a tiger. We had John Masters, a intle while ago, remember?” Now here is David Walker, forsaking the gay Highland flang he danced with "Digby" and "cordie" to go all mysuval and Indion with HAKRY BLACK (Collins, 126, 3).
Harry Black is a tea planter who has been a prisoner of war and an unsuccessful husband. Also, he is not above covering his neighbour's wife. Then a man-caung tiger turns up in the district. Harry Bees 11 chase. He hunts not only the tiger, but the integrity of Harry Black.
He succeeds ane acciacs to I give up his neighbour's wife.
Whenever David Walker writes about jungles, tigers, and hunting the story is good. But over nis heraine ho is mad- acningly sentimental.
David
Reading trus
thus nooit. I couldn't help remembering that Walker was onçe ADC to John Buchan, who created the most lastpid heroines in all fiction.
Beanstalk Of Mustard Cottage
THE story of Jack and Bean-
THE
stalk takes a humble second place among the children of Binfeld Heath, near Henley, to the tale of the Peculiar Bean- stalk In Mustard Coltage, For this is fact--not fantasy.
Mustard Cottage is the home of Mrs Sarah Webb, Last August she decided to store broad being in a basket in her larder;
She forgot
about them for many weeks, Then, In Novem- ber, when she went to look at them, every, bean" had 'dle- appeared. A thorough search revealed nothing...
Recently Mrs Webb tripped over a lump beneath the mat in the kitchen. She found that two bricks in the floor had been pushed up. Mrs Webb and ber neighbours were mysified.
Estato men explored beneath the floor and found a bean- stalk 2f, high, arrounded, by a pile of sprouling, boons., S
Mrs Webb's beans, they decided, had been carried away. by field mics down through a small tunnel beneath the foundations of the cottage and planted under the kitchen. floor.