THE
Nathaniel Gubbins
P
OST-INFLUENZA de-
90
'As the P.L.W is full of pity I tell her he would probably stogs And all bunted never find cur house even if we pression must be a for
and is
ful of lived at Walthamstow because symptom known to animula,
loathing for all hunting his memory is failing. almost everybody except pcopic that she gives three According to one of the papers whenever they he called for two months, sonic- a man aged (I think) 60 rousing cheers who lives (I think) in fall off their horses, she begs times twice a day, on a mon Dulwich, and who has never me not to read any more as she who was not ill and was not
can't stond it in her weak even his patient. even had a cold in the nose condition. Hince he first went to his
But 1 tell her this is the office (I think) 45 years story of a happy stog. It is never killed. It is choued only корпу about the "L three times in a season and thinks." But after nursing my always faken home after the life partner, the Plucky Little hunt.
Influenza Woman, through caught myself and fost the cutting about his horrible man,
ngo.
Why horrible? I don't know. All i know is that i dislike him intensely. In fact, I would hate the sound of his name if
it. 1 could remember
A5 the P.L.W also hates
put our u can only
him I ea Dim natural repugnance for a con plete ranger down eller to a
that senseless fury
anybody could live in England for 45 years without entching a colt, which depression or to thi has got both of us in its grip cough in our armchairs as wo glaring at the newspapers.
Vicar bites wife
I
TRY to cheer up the P.L..W. of the bits reading by
news to ker.
I tell her about the vicor who was stated p a divorce court to have bien his wife on the why home from their moon
man
269 U
honey-
.
It will live to a grand old age ind old-stag- providing sport hunting practice for those who have nothing better to do.
The P.L.W, says by the same argument you might as well let
prisoner
Dartmoor
1
out of
old
Jug
three times a year to give the warders practice hunting. As this would hardly
happy An old tag
she make can't ze why it should make an cld stog hippy.
I then read her the remarks
master of the hunt, who told a reporter:
of Colonci trim Gooch, joint
"I am a soft-hearted man who would have no part in anything involving cruelty to animais. Our stops are well fed, brautifully housed, and so fame they will cat out of your hand."
The P.L.W, says if the old so happy in its home stag is why does it run away from it? We both stifle a sub when we think of the old start wrenched
morons' boliday,
I point out that although I am not a particularly gliplous
and certainly not as from ligious
Vicar Saria be, I have never bitten her either on our honeyinca And depan't she consider her- self lucky?
ur aller.
The PL.W. replies that (a) we never had a buzeymoon be
were both too busy cause we were working as reporters; that (b) even if I could have found time to blie her she would have come right back at me and bitten my ears of; and that (e) ns une pain is supposed to kill another, she wouldn't mind being bitten by a tiger if headache.
Its fireplace to make a
Wrong address [U£_P.L.W. is nearly in tears THE
when I tell her about 90-
year-old Dr James Clarke, of
Walthamstow, who says he has to go on working because ho
nords the money,
actores
she says
They always
seem
Quoting again, I tell her reporter found him looking in a street fer a house numbered
98%, which didn't exist,
The P.L.W. chyst "He had probably mixed up somebody's temperature with the number of his house. But that's nothing to laugh at."
ניי
I say, "I am not laughing. 1 am quoting."
The P.L.W. 8ay3, "Every-, body has to grow old some time. And you're not looking so hot yourself."
When were you born? fшIEN I read a letter written
to a newspaper by a 'man who has studied astrology and believes we are at our brightest at the hour of our birth.
He
out pointe
hat Sir Churchill, who was Winston born in the late evening, is always at his best at that time this political opponents in the House of Commons must have noticed
this,) and then states
the ense of man and wife who are never happy together because the man wanborn at tea-time and the wife early in the morning.
The P.L. W. thinks that such Incompatibility should provide grounds for divorce,
She draws a distressing word plcture of à tired, slcepy man being wakened at 6 am, by a vivacious wife bouncing about the bed and making bright re- marks in the chilly darkness.
the
After this we consider case of a policeman born, say, at lunch-time who has to go when he's at on night duty his worn. Would this account for
of the some
unsolved She
old in
crimes?
Or a comedian, born at tea-time when he feels ex- doctors.
the going on to know more than the young tremely funny,
prescribe lovely air at 9.30 p.m. Would This ones, always
with would cure her medicins
raspberry nccount
for some of the BBC and give you tonies Savouring,
programmes? are now supposed to that
date: t out
She thinks it a wicketi shume never seem very bright except that a doctor who has done in the bar of a low tavern she would like to know at what much for others should have to
hour in the 24 I was born. work at 90, and wishes Dr
I say I don't know, but think Clarke would visit her. shu
it must have been opening time, doubic Five would
either 11 am, or 6 p.m. Scotch, and they could have a cosy chat about her depression,
She adds that as clergymen never get enough to eat, the vicar was probably not vicious but just hungry.
L
Stag not at bay
ATER on I read aloud the story of the stag that was hanted into an infants' play ground in Suffolk,
!
bo
The PL.W. says that as I
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CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 1956.
DON IDDON continues the story of the men of motors and millions
HENRY THE FIRST
THE LOVES OF
HIS LIFE
Mr. and Mrs. Ford in the historic 1896 car. Henry the First's devotion to motora never lessened his affection for his family and his wife, witness this flowery
effusion (right).
H
May Flannels of love.
du toimeda
you d
And thedunshin › stad its gryss our food? Mindi
From one
Shot Dearly Some.
TRIES
-The
1
Fabulous
Fords
TO STOP A WAR
ship Thousands of letters descend- peaco
with attempted have met, Mr Ford, who's ed upon Ford as a result.
cynicism years later. "If we had greatest man?" tried to break in cold into the
the
Ford was overwhelmed, and European market after the war Heary Ford pointed a finger rang up Delavigne: "You got it would have cost us 10,000,000 at Bennett and said: "Harry me into this. You'd better come dollam. The peace ship cost a there." and get me out of it." The re- twentieth of that and made Ford This seems incredible, beepLesa porter joined Ford's staff as
a a household word all over the Bennett was a toughie, an ex- personal assistant,
Continent,"
plosive-tempered brawler and As a result of Ford's peace real,Ford speaking. He feared power
the beater-up, whose chief claim to offensive a European pacist, the ridicule, so he assumed the seemed to be his ability to run in the Ford Company
I don't think this was
"Service
Department," special
Roaika Schwimmer, called on Ford, and after one short inter- shell of the hard business man. the
It was shortly after this which were Ford's view managed to sell him the idea of Ford himself trying to famous fasco that Harry Her poiler.
Bennett came into Ford's slop the
war personally. The bert
Bennett worked for Ford for plan of chartering a peace ship life and perhaps changed
entre of the Ford empire. almost 30 years. They toured and salung for Europe came a
Of all the characters in the the plant together sometimes at few days later.
fabulous
They Ford story Bennett three in the morning.
Ford told reporters: "I tend get the boys out of the trenches by Christmas.
This slogan was to girdle the globe. The people and the news- papers greeted Ford's ambl- tious plan with scepticism, then ridicule. The politicians would have lille to do with it. and President Wilson refused to commit himself,
Crackpots
and eccentrics, show people and clowns com- peted to be among the passen- gers on the peace ship. A Scan- dinavia-American liner Oscar the Second was churtered and Invitations were sent out to the famous and the influen-
and influential turned the in- vitations down.
called
ENRY FORD didn't Ford was impressed by De- like bankers or lavigne because the reporter re- vealed a knowledge of watches. men business
or The two men, tho multi- accountants. Once millionaire and the 30-dollar-a- he went into one wing of the week reporter, went for a walk tial. but almost all the famous
in Europe. sprawling Ford offices and and began to talk about the war saw scores of men sitting before charts and graphs.
He said to an aide: "What does this crowd do?"
"That's Was told: statistical department, Ford."
minutes A few called in his
For suddenly said: "I'd give to all my money and my life
suid: slop it." The reporter He "That's a lot of dough, How Ford the about my quoting you?" Mr told the journalist to go ahead, write what he wanted, and put
later Ford and engineers You haven't got enough room said: "You say you want space, Well, you can have the entire statistical department, Get thos accountants out of there.
It was
in-
perhaps Ford's difference, even contempt,for figures and orderly bookkeeping that later landed the company into such a mess, and It was Henry Ford the Second, a more meticulous man with regard for figures, who got the
out of Company
the Ford morges.
it under Ford's name.
of
T
A
to
THERE was trouble and
derision from the start, cablegram was sent under Ford's It was one of the peculiarities name to the Vatican addressed
Ford that he frequently not to Benedictus XV, but
to make state- Benedictus VII., a Pope who allowed others
and Harry had been dead more than 800 ments in his name,
mari-of-all-work, years, Bennett, his was even allowed to sign "Henry Ford" in a facsimile of the millionaire's signature.
a higher DEL
PUT if Henry Ford the First Bidn't like to plexities of business he was fascinated by the complexities of world politics. Unfortunately, he con
sidered thom simple.
Decorated
the
was the strangest. He wielded were almost inseparable.
more influence over Ford than
any person-even Mrs Ford.
Taken in tow
was
The executives fumed, and sometimes protested. If thes protested too much they were fred. Bennett saw to that.
The
WITHIN a few years of joining
Ford himself always disliked Ford he was second in fring people. Ho used to get power and influence only to King others to do the job for him. Henry. Many have said his The two men--the last billion- influence was bad, He and the aire
the (although
millions son Edzel. who
over were beginning to shrink) and shadowed by his father all his the ex-sailor and boxer-ran
lte, didn't get along. When Henry Second was old enough to take an interest in the company he was suspiciou of Bennett,
The
in the end it was
Henry the Second who got rid of this CX- traordinary ruth- ICSS,
brewd
man - of
- all
work who was
Ford the First's righthand man.
The Hearst editor Arthur Brisbane
intro-
duced Bennett to Ford. Brks-
bane was walk-
On the eve of the sailing some of his executives tried to talk him out of the project, but was adamant. He said simply over and over again: "It's_right_=_WI
the House when he saw a
Ing ho
past Customs
to stop war, isn't it? That's small, rough, what i intend to do.”
tough American
gigantic organisa- tion which now
included rubber
1
P anta →
and
mincs,
incs,
the
steamship all claborate para- phernalia of in- dustry, and they ran it together like twins.
Once, when Bennett went too for, Ford, said: "Harry, never to outguag Ford, did not pay Bennett
try
me."
a large salary, but he endowed him with esates curs and other gifts...
and
Bennett WAS strike- the breaker, the
Harry Bennett
tho
sallor in a fight with Customs ably maa mien.
Brisbane
the in
・the
trouble-shooter,
He was
most
prob
disliked
plant
TO
No one, not even
ELAVIGNE went back to his
The ship Ufted anchor to the typewriter and churned out
Ford five columns
of bands, roses were
during his quarter-century decorated with angels such phrases as: "Wasteful war," flung on to the dock from
impressed more there. wig "Suicidal militarism," "Fake deck, people fell into the water, with the punching power the family. could influence glory, "Chains of greet," several women had hysterics, and courage of the sallor and Henry Ford against Bennett.
Bennett has written his own "Cloak of murder," "Vampire- and the Press had one of the intervened. He took him in tow
entitled giddlest and gaudiest stories for and said: "How would you like defence of his career months.
"We Never Called Him Henry, to meet Henry Ford?"
and I bellove some of it has the
like traders."
Ford was directly quoted 13
deso- During the crossing there saying: "War is murder,
Then he told Ford about ring of truth. lating, destructive, cruel, heal-
were rows. 1st-fights, and even
Mr Bennett, and the industrialist Accusations ' less, and unjustified. Nothing a reported minor mutiny. would give me more satisfac. Ford was drenched by a wave said: "I can use a young mon tion than to bring to an end the and had to retire to his state- like that." So Bennett 4,000 years of this unjustified room with a bad cold. One the Ford firm and soon became -haired,
and English reporter radioed that a figure at the Rouge plant,
murder."
ruthless waste,
Joined
Bennett has been accused of
It was in August 1915 that
Ford had been locked In his cabin. By the time the Oscar Henry Ford discovered World War I, He always claimed 10. One cannot help agreeing the Second had docked at Oslo being responsible for the decline be a paciilst, and he hated, with these sentiments, but at and after a turbulent meeting and rear fall of the Ford em- bloodshed, although blood some that time anti-German feeling with the Press, Ford, who by pire. But as far as Henry the times flowed outside the gates In the United States was high, then was a sick man, was be First was
ginning to wonder if his peace could do little wrong. dove would ever fly.
and Britain and France had lost
BENNETT says: "During the 30 years I worked for Henry Ford I became his most intimate companion. I was closer to him even than his only son... I have been called a thug. gangster, a pro-Nazi, an anti- Semite. It's been said that I concerned Bennett was fred from my job. All these accusations are just plain two newspaper-Bennett. used to strut tho men were accompanying Ford Ford factories giving orders, and Bennett on a motor trip laying down the law: "Mr Ford". Ford was asked: "Among all the told me to tell you.... It's al statesmen or famous people you been decided by Mr Ford and
of his giant factories.
A young reporter named hundreds of thousands of men Theodore Delavigne, of the fighting the Germans. This Detroit Free Press, went to see didn't seem the moment for an
A little whlic later he left but home disillusioned Ford when it was a quiet news- amateur philosopher and pael- paper day and the editor was fist to tell the world what to still clinging to his ideals, He looking for a "Sunday special." do.
covered up the fallure of
for
the
Once when
WHO SLIPPED THE TOMAHAWK
K
IN GRACE KELLY'S BED?
ELLY the iceberg. Just another pasteurised American blonde. Those were the sort of re- marks friends made last September when I told them I was off to Hollywood to make a film with Grace Kelly,
How wrong they all were on all accounts. But in
By
ALEC GUINNESS
who has just returned from Hollywood after co-starring with Grace Kelly in a film. He brings back with him a the glimpse of the other Miss Kelly - "Iceberg" with a sense of humour. -
fiendish practical joker.
the
nrysck.
Mr Ford 'wants you to do this.
Some of Bennett's reminis- cences are fascinating. He says: "As far as loyalty concerned Mr Ford did not seem to care too much. I saw men disloyal to Ford, and yet if they wETU’Use- ful to him. he'd keep them on. He never let emotion Interfore with business.
"The one thing in the world delicate touches each timo we that Mr Ford could not stand played the scene, that she not was ridicule. He could not only knew what she was doing, stand any kind of slur on hia
Edsel and but precisely what she was go-intelligence. ing to do next,
(were ← never-
completely friendly terms (that's an under-
on
I
Then I understood the envy frie Home Hollywood stars have of statement). Mr Ford would say her-the girl is an artist, and to me: "Now, Harry, you think you're getting along nil right recognisably
brim-
friend ful of talent,
with Edsel, but he's 'po
and
on
and
a city ne in Like many Americans, Grace of yours. is a fiendish practical joke, and goes to enormous trouble (and expense) in planning her hoaxEI, As the victim of one of these spite of having admired Christian només between giggles over some story of David highly elaborate schemes sho Grace on the screen, it was strangers, in the film world.
IT was during the Bennett era Niven's or Michael Wildings, or dreamtup I found myself, 'with considerable mis A few days after my arrival sitting open-mouthed at having escaped from the film that Henry Ford bought the
Independent Bogart's brilliant for a few days holiday in New Dearborn givings that I took the she invited me to a small party Humphrey
at the houso she rents aver- parody of a fellow actor.
Orleans, consulting detectives began his violent attacks Poler light to Los Angeles, fooking Los Angeles. At night
and press about a.series of Jews. It was during the Bennett. When thinking to myself that I the clly appears to be the Milky
not in a state of ex- mysterious telegrams that were period that the armed police
from loughing might as well get used to Way spread
on the ground: haustion
(she bombarding me from apparently known as goons
bent up the worker. It wa extremely romantle and exactly bends 'completely double when all over the United States. the ice on the way.
during the Bennett porod that sho the right background for Grace, Laughs) she was busy grill
sales dropped and dropped and When I stopped off the air who would bring an atmosphere ing hamburgors, talking passion-
ately about the
the greatness
people began to whisper: "Ford is finished." plane into brilliant Californian of romance plus chle even to
Kingston By-pass-which 'Holy-
Margot
Fonteys, sunshine (ems of their smogies wood, for all its palm trees and surprisingly) showing too They were # inviting me to It was during the Bennett days), she was there to meet me splendid hours, rather resembles meaned on walks with a ham Allee, But Alice never turned up. appeared to danger of extinc
little chips of rock she had met an unknown person called period that the fabulous Fords. She looked as beautiful Boron as on, but my next re in the glare of noon.
mer for Graco is also an Too long a story to go into de-on action was that either she was
amateur geologiat. too tall or I was too short for! our respectiva role of Princess and the Prince in Tho Swan, the Alm we were to make to- author:
י,
of (most
fall, but as a result of the tole Henry Ford the First Osch grams I ended visiting a police ticularly in his later yours, The first day I had a scene to identification Ine-up and, the seemed unable to do anythin
My about Bennett, and the ruin that net with her I thought to my local morgue.
As hosters at her own party, self: This girl is remarkableFinally the detectives traced was setting in. It was his grand Grace was very different from but I wonder if she really the mystery back to Grace Henry Ford the Second the reserved woman with the knows whol The in doing who was doubtless sitting on the who had to act. But that's bit she proved to be as shy as I slightly short-sighted ale who clue but I suspected that: it ment crying herself ally laugh-
What she was doing was first floor of her New York spurt other part of this great story, am, and for a day or two.we met me at the airport, Hero,
TOMORROW. remained Mina Köliy
Ing But, I wonder if the. Jonowa and Mr among her friend, tho, was was pocidental. Quinnars to each other just a girl in black velvet After two or three “lakes" I total day who bribed a colour pleasant change, I thought, from frousers, squatting on the floor, realsed, with salonisment, "that, fed man to allp at tompkarwa into the automalle exchange of and ecllapsing helplessly with, she achieved exactly the same her bear
i
Chif Wind "ovar Rough-
· Klyers Ford Loses Ground
.
Ha