Page
POCKET CARTOON by QSBERT LANCASTER
!!!1 dare joy Gina. Lollo brigida did wear one jusK Ike it but Gina Lollobrigida wasn't going to a quier little_dinner_dance at the Telack-Smysher":"-"
W
THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, MARCH 26, 1955.
THE NEW BOOKS: BY NANCY SPAIN
Romance Comes Down To A Soap Ringʻ
PARADE
more
wood's account of the 14 the age of eight I gave him my Now the man who once estab-rent man dees himself
years
before Civil War (Cavalier versus Roundhead), THE KING'S PEACE (Collins, 258.), 50 fascinating. And that Civil War was only 300 years
England's heart.
THY did 100,000 people. queue to see the Temple of ago...
In those days, says C. V., Mithrus? I know it was Wedgwood, England was much because they were interest more class-conscious than now ed in the way other people Some games were "for lived and thought 2,000 play aineging, but not bowls, nen only." A labourer might
years ago.
People ate Rashionable French Anyway, that is why I and Italian dishes and jolly old have found C. V. Wedg- de roast beef of old Eng
diehards lamented the
A British Crossword Puzzle
*
GA EVIL
ORROR SOLAR
C ELSE ALNS C R FELL
DESPORD2ENT 22 22 1 CUM
OTAL BATT HOTEL GE ME MD BUDOUN
ACROSS
1 Freshwater fish (0).
7 Wicked (4).
5 Mistake (6).
10 Of the sun (5);
11 Besides (4).
13 Compels (10). ..
15 Relate (4).
18 Conceal (4).
19 Downcast (10).
22. Non-clerical (4).
24 Sum (5).)
25 Feature (5),
26 Betting device (4). "
27 Unexected (8).
DOWN
2 Protective garment (5).
Cap. (5).
East-Indian seaman (6).
5 Softened (8).
6 Ventilates (4),
8 Dance (5).
12 Distinction (5).
13 Carp (5).
14 Choce (8).
17 Fool (5).
18 Upsets (8).
20 Famous (6),
21 Manage to avoid, (B).
23 Particle (4).
YESTERDAY'S CROSSWORD-Across: 1 Bestow, Weald,
7 Series, 8 Petty, 10 Ling, 12 Apparel, 15 Grime, 16 Tore, 17 Sale, 19 Bloom, 20 Stencil, 21 Raps, 23 Windy, 24 Falcon, 25 Feast, 20 Tossed Down 1 Baseless, 2 Strangle, 3 Over, 5 Elevator, 6 Lliter, 8 Spell, 11 Grenades, 12 Ambit, 13 Romances, 14 Lessened, 18 Attire, 22 Halo.
land."
gentle
Clothes had a peculiarly snob bish significance. A blacksmith's wife in Ludlow, who dared to wear a dres "more suitable a merchant's wife" was hooted at and it was considered downright shocking for working-class people to wear thigh boots. (Waste of leather,
and what would the hose knit
ters do without their working- class market?)
The
-King's-soap
"Soop" was the big national topic. The King had granted monopoly to a new group of soop-bolters, whose soap didn't wash "half so white"
And
Book of the
A COLUMN OF THE UNUSUAL ABOUT
PEOPLE AND PLACES AND THINGS
The high tide, the crofters knew, would mark the danger
But nothing would make the
The spring
NO. MORE The wax gure" of by the bullets of the intrepid
Sir Winston Chur- marksmen, CIGARS
chill at Paris's. Until the end of March, point. Grevin Museum gets through pigeons will be regularly and whales seck the open sea. Then
cigars a day than the rulessly shot for prizes toalling Wha
„„tida came,`and they Barly £30,000, in cash and five the Whleti has led Madame
swam up to the jagged shoreline, gold medals.
and let themselves be battered Maxime Thomas, who rure the
decide that in ANTI-KISS An anti-kissing an
and broken on of museum. to
the rocks.. Many were igure must be in- future the
still alive hours cigar. Not even POLICE campaign in Maling after they were cast up along a complete. No
chremas is landing on initation cigar.
half mile stretch. Now the unwary romanties to the Said Madame Thomas, at launching of a barge which will audience in trouble and in gaol. problem is how to dispose of the take Sir Winston and other In! Milan a hundred people bodies, some twenty feet long
Last time whales came ashore were detained when police
in the Orkneys was five years. figures on a canal wax
three cinemas ago, when "Sir Swooped
rearly Victims included young men were stranded Winston Will go clear, Because
what romantic" lished a Worst collars and curls and cavorting stuffed ash to the authors could do less, with all those lace Month Club and gave prizes of chargers?
his choice has written a a travel book which is well among the worst books of this month.
The first,twa.chapters concern his cholce of title and museums in Florida. U.S.A
But C. V. Wedgwood's bril lantly impartial reconstruction the exclling ring of truth. Her of those testing years hes
daily newspaper.
two
the
tour
a hundred Stronsay
tive, is 29 iramediate as a Co. Durham. The next rough provindals and teenage girls caught cudding Island. Local fishermen had to
and a
Typical
Her narrative. Yes. For describes alleged discovery of cv. Wedgwood is a woman, Herr Hitler in an aeroplane
distinguished one. leaving Rangeon. in 1910, daughter of Sir Ralph Christened Cicely Veronica, born Wedgwood, who was the pre- war LNER chief.
All of which might be rather niece of fun if Sir Osbert wrate in the pottery family Josiah, therefore connected with simple English. But he doesn't Here is a typical Sitwellian sentence. He is discussing the title of his book.
She is dark-eyed, dark haired, pleasant voiced, an excellent cook, and was the only woman to serve on the Committee Deprivation of Citizenship.
Now it's a
dozen
of
She had written" books- this one makes up her dozen. She is director of a weekly
heavy" magazine and president
of the English Centre of the International PEN. Club.
She found difficulty in writing History "Because" all this behaviour, so public spirited when she was offered a fellow- ship by the Institute of Prince ton University, U.S., she was and (T. S. Eliot delighted. Albert Einstein also
benefited She wrote from such grants.)
volume signed the whole of this
Princeton "under perfect work- ing
Conditions
時
the
King's stay was very interier,
A brisk black market in soap began, and in spite of testimonials from the Queen's | Ladies" "everyone swore that the King's soap was very inferior.
Eventually poor old Charles I had to give in. He had made B thorough fool of himself and of enemies into the bar-
3
in
So she became the only woman I know who can say with perfect truth: "I went to the United States for peace and " quiet"
of
across
Moreover, because for nearly two centuries we have lived in a world of five, not four, continents, the ring of it
at
disappear
offence against
public decency laws.
they fantastic
spoed into the pockets of souvenir. hunters."
And it was no good using false cigars because they cost far more than the real thing.
•
CHESS A "bess for factorics CRAZE campaign in Germany is stimulating a revival of interest in chess as a means of relaxation.
Italian
A
130
tow the carcasses out to sea, or burn thern,"
•
The operation was swift and sudden and anti-kissing police COLOURFUL The most colour- moved silently into the darkened
ful climbing CLIMBERS cinemas, tode up strategle post-
party ever: iaman, tiers
close to the back rows, its way from New Zealand to and then switched the lights on tickle the unclimbed Moun."- Kissling in Italian cinemas is Masherbrum, in the Himalayas BOW a risky, business, in fact, The party of eight is dressed in". The morality squads are deter vivid reds, yellows, blues, grecus
iced to stamp it out, and and other shades. offenders are whisked off to the The idea is that every member. is also perhaps a little old Ition, counded in 1877, today em central police station in canvas of the party will be dressed in fashioned exactly what the book itself braces 2,000 chess clubs with a mapped lorries, their names put distinctive colours clearly is likely to become; since the total of most 100,000 members a warning register and, if visible
These members, scattered they continents of which
I propose to write, and in a manner less throughout the German Federal identity limited than its claim as a Republic, include bank directors, custody kind of guidebook could make skilled labourers, Ministerial
passible. it notwithstanding would at civil servants street car can- their
most
'pero
this is.
The German Chess Associa
boys. within a century books of travel will bc concerned, not as mine, is
Terrestrial, whereasant be ductors, doctors and messenger
in the main, with a round cams, in fact, are
at a new flexibility of a new quickness of mind
mind and rapidity of movement, so that The fly from Asia to Africa back again in a few and moments, nor, for the rest, with talk of the Middle Sea, the
and Middle West,
their climates, and with cottages and machines.
and cabbages and kings 3
and crocodiles especial
now 50
over
long distances,
their Just in case produce cards, sre held in until Identification is BUDDING History might have AUTHOR been changed it the 16-year-old writer had finished and sold his first story—a love story.
He might have decided he wanted to bu
As it was, he left it uncorn- another Voltaire or Shakespeare. pleted at 1,500 words and went on to become one of the greatest all soldiers and the scourge of Europe. of 30 Last
Napoleon.
•
Skry
when
PORTABLE Matchbox - size
breakfasts One of the biggart increases in MEAL
have just been perfect- chess players, however, has been in
the factories. Factory chess ed by German food expert, $7
year-old Johannes Barth of "Barths Breakfast" As factoris Berlin, popular that Imany contribute as many as four teams the meal may become known each to inter-factory competi- consists of small brown "sticks" of food made up of organic in- tions.
week his unfinished gredients, mainly plans extracts, story, in his own handwriting. The extracts swell as soon as fetched £2,300 at a London they enter the stomach and give auction-just over thirty shil- is the would-be diefer or rushed, ings a WITHOUT Cocktail time
word. The author- pikwon-
the feeling shooting busireswman
01 TEARS
tima J Hinny having enjoyed a good break- gain,
The Sitwell country iy crocodiles and one thing
studded Monte Carlo where the fast,
STATION The travelling. This short-sighted attitude of ITWELL. The name clashes
The Idea of the concentrated leading to another in a fight pigeon-shooting season has just
public of Carlisle Charles I towards: soap We like sounding brass
started. thing
meal de- of
came to Barth when he TOPPER
were typical of his general lack of
arrows, or one
Shooting pigeons in Momba was a prisoner of war, and his
stopped wastes
local stationmasters literary the
lusively dovetailing into an- the Judgment. He simply did not
Into Carlo, however, is a very dif- arst matchbox menu consisted of wearing the distinctive silk top other, as the past does it understand ordinary
twentieth century. Perhaps day-by-
the future-a5
it does feront matter from shooting stinging nettles and horse tails, hope might not have clashed so much
hat and frock coat which were day life in England.
he says, been
now while you read nor with pigeons almost anywhere else. "The ingredients," the original
a familiar sight on the Citadel Though he was
de if it had chaste,
been improved since Station platforms, for genera- the teeming past and dwindling Here is a sport for the wealthy have tout, and kindly, and Church of family name of "Hurt For
future of this world, but with only, a sport which calls for co then."
tions up to August 1952, when. England to the backbone, his the Sitwells changed their name
those other worlds besides our greater hardship than leaving
the practice was suspended, subjects accused him of every in 1791.
own that we now only see in one's cocktail on the "staward sort of unconstitutional crime.
BLIND
wbales, the night skies glittering or terrace of the Casino for a few cffulgent, and with their out-mimates at a time,
INSTINCT world's largest mammal, have landish features.
Just below the Casino lies à some blind primeval instinet ser Not the least
-circular platform where which forces then at certain gors, will be entitled to wear the "sportsmen" take their stand, times to seek the land? style is slavishly copied you think of that? I have read edge of the platform.
Wow. There now. What do rifles in hand. At the extreme Scientists wondered this again ain over when a school of 83 black pilot young writers.
is no pennilce it aloud to myself four times, looking the blue Mediterranean, whales drove ashore on a high Si: Osbert adolescent artist He ewas and I still haven't the remotest a series of trap doors opens sud- spring tide in the wild Orkney
is in attendance on the Royal Renishaw Hall, Derbyshire, and idea what it means.
denly and at irregular intervals. Islands, to the north of Scotland. Train, when other important Monteguni Castle, Florence. He
The "sport" consists of potting The watching crofters of persons are known to be travel- is Lord ot the Manors of
the white pigeons which fly cut Westray Island had feared for King there and when the prin Eckington and Barlborough.
of these trap doors and seldom them as they played in the ripal Anglo-Scottish expressės From this rich inheritance Sir
manage to travel more than a shallow waters. for some days
are passing through the station.. Osbert has created 29 books.
dozen yards before they are hit previously,
They include the Royal Scot and the Mid-Day Scot,
travel
Today a new
book comes from Sir Osbert Sitwell THE FOUR CONTINENTS (Macmilian, 253.)-81-year-old
The Queen's chums Ma
an
by
His Queen, Henrietta Maria, fifth baronet of his Line, whom he adored, was a Romani: Olympian figure whose prose... Catholic and he could refuse her nothing So it turned out that chums many of the Queen's were found in high places, and they of course were R.C.s 100.
No wonder
accused the King of Pop
Indeed, King Charles's crime was that of criminal stupidity. I hate to admit it, because at
VIGNETTES OF LIFE
21
I WAITED UNTIL`
EVERYBODY WENT
HOME AND THIS
WAS THE
ONLY ONE LEFT/
THE FIRST OF APRIL-
BUT HE HASN'T HEARD
THE LAST OF IT —
"OH, BROTHER!
IS HE
IN A
FOG/
..
So (as I have no stuffed fish about me) I will offer one guinea to anyone who can explain it to my satisfaction. Sitwells are particularly welcome.
Crazy Mixed-Up April Fool BY BARRY
I GAVE HIM SOME TRICK CHEESE MADE OF SOAP AND HE NEVER BATTED AN EYE
APRIL
FOOD
"DON'T MIND ME - I'M
ONLY HANGIN'AROUND
FOR THE LAUGHS /
KICK
ME
APRIL FOOLS
BUSINESS AS USUAL→
WENER
COPI, 1964 BY GENERAL FEATURES
COLF. THEWORLD RIGHTS RESERVED.
CALLITAN
NOW I KNOW WHY THEY
'APRIL FOOL
PARTY
WHAT DID YOU
EXPECT ?
·HES USED TO
"YOUR
COOKING.
MICE/
"
Do
BY HARRY WEINERT
OLD APRIL FOOL JOKES NEVER DIE-THEY JUST KEEP ON FOOLING YOU
"OK, STOP IT">
I KNOW WHAT DAY THIS IS MA
3-28
DOES EVERYBODY
•HAVE A
SURPRISE, DEAR /
BROTHER
BRUSH?
VISITING
US
DON'T TRY SCARE ME WITH THOSE CORNY
APRIL
FOOL
GAGS
The British Transport Con mission has now decided that the present Stationmaster, Mr T. C. Richards, and bis succes
the distinctive dress, to cace again mark the importance of Carlisie as a sailway centre and gateway to Scotland, when he
At other times when on duty, the stationmaster · will
wear
black coat and vest, striped trousers and bowler bat,
FUMING Women temperance WOMEN workers in
Zealand are ting
New
at the government,
While they are going round trying to persuade everybody to give up the bottle, they say the government is as good as en- couraging mass imbibing. -
"
Last week, they blasted it for allowing is radio network to broadcast recipes in, women's Gessions which included · such directions as; "Now, add three glasses of dry sherry Mix-
To a nation which, per head, has as high a beer-drinking re- cord as any other, they soberly declared; "This is an insidIDUR way of indicing people to have Kquor in their homes."
CLUB CRAZY, "Friends of the
A new Club the
Abominable Snow- minhas just been launched in Valencia, on the West coas of Spain,
of
The Club fourriers ("we chose damame because, since the Abominable Soowoom will never be found, we are not exi posing crselves to the danger having to give banquets and nexeptions in his honour") odd that the real object of the Club la to organise excursions for its members to the snow-clad moun- bains behind the city,
To become a member it is. "apparently sufficient to ask for admission, Whichi--- rather than an interest in the Abominable, Saowenan may explain why over 100 members joined withi the first two days of the Club being famed
NOT VERY When Sir Graham Cunningham. Iec HELPFUL
tured to prisoners in Wormwood Scrubs recently he said he had chosen a Hrafe subject safety glass
friend
Tale toy contrast to a who once sang at a concert- in Dartmoor and chase "Bless This House, Sir Graham said he never get beyond the linn; "Bless these walls so firm, and, stout, keeping want and trouble
„But Sir Graham's lecture wai not without incidenti invited two of the audience to smash a sheet of glass with a heavy hammer. When they Zalled Bit Graham explained:
will not break it laminated safety glass” by
Bomeone" inchother audience shouted: "Not very helpful, in smash-and-sah: jobja