JOHNNY HAZARD
OK, BOTHER! SOMEDAY MAYBE I'LL FIND OUT WHY FEMALES ALWAYS FAINT AT. THE WRONG TIME... OR MAYBE, IN THIS CASE, ITS THE RECHT TIME...
„BECAUSE THIS TIME THERE IS NOTHING TO INTERFERA WITH MY
GETTING THAT PASSPORT.....
¿By "Frank Robbins
'The Once Over
MESSAGERIES
MARITIMES
MM
“AURAY" "BEAUVAIS"
ARRIVALS
from Japan
from Europe
SAILINGS
PASSENGER/FREIGHT SERVICE
"FELIX ROUSSEL" "LA MARSEILLAISE" "LA MARSEILLAISE"
∙14th Dec, 20th. Deo,
to Marwoliles via Manila 10th Jan, to YokohamLA & Kobe 28th Jan, to Marseilles via Manila 8th Feb.
• BY. THE WAY
·
by Beachcomber
entered bone,
THE inspector
cornered the one lodger who
was
Marine House and
not qualified to play the part of an American stuid tourist-the rather
and old-fashioned Mr Chad- stone, a librarian.
"Name?" asked the inspector. "Hirom H. Chlengo," said Mr Chadstone, nervously, ja English accent.
"Where'd you get your English accent?" "Went to school-er-campus est Chelmsford."
dress?"
"Home ad- *70401 North Enst
Middle 725th Street, New Or
lcans."
King."
"Businces?"
Here
"Lumber
anguidly.
the gi
Pete." sald
A bit of a muddle COME duntmen who cartea away unburnable coal com. plained that
putrid 0158, painted black, the stuff in This has led
were found in large quantities.
many people to search for eges among their coal, and, sometimes, to bott bits of coal by mistake. A directive should be sent out at once. The Government
ob- viously,
cannot guarantee that
coal new-lald
will contpla grade-A CEES, or that etcs, by the time they are distributed, will rempla ft for fuel.
DUMB-BELLS
WHENEVER YOU MAKE
A LONG DISTANCE CALL BE ECONOMICAL, GIVE EVERYTHING YOU SAY A DOUBLE
MEANING!
Mr Chadstone YOUR BIRTHDAY
romoved a fruit pastille, which he had been chewing. from his mouth, and stuck it deflantly under the scat of a chair. must be
...
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 27
of Belling to the hell out you are born
Mr Chadstone, sald "What's the hurry?" asked the inspector. "I have an appoint- ment with Jane," said
the librarian. "And, on my boy, is she nifty or is she not nifty,
am telling you, sirree,
She and I are going to places, It I have to burst Joint
open
this
entire wide
You Yanks!" said the inspector with a smile. "I shall be seeing you," replied! Mr Chadstone, and added, rather uncertainly. "Hot dogs! Yippy! Quch" Something to declare
IT is said that the insatiable
appetite of the European Zous for elephants has led to
or
to
@ JACOBY ON BRIDGE
Bid May Take-Out
Prevent Disaster
By OSWALD JACOBY
LEASE tell us what went
"PLEASE
wrong with us on this hand," aaks a Tacoma fan.
"West opened the ten of spades, and East overtook with the Jack to, return his low trump, South finessed the nine of hearts and West won with the ten. West returned his re- mnining spade, and East won with the nine. East then re- turned the jack of hearts.
"It didn't really matter what South did on this trick, He was bound to lose three dia-
three monds,
trumps, two wos of
By STELLA spades, and a club. He
длу
TF
today, you Your sense of duty is strong have an
energetle outlook and you will make personal
complete see it in exciting sacrifices en life and
You project to which you are com- and dramatic colouring. will always do your best work mitted. when
leading n venture working independently of out- side authority. Since you are highly individualistle, you will never like to be coerced or gulded by the opinions or demands of others.
As a rule, your judgment is gat sound, but sometimes you
ond
an idea into your head which needs reconstructing under the force of changing conditions although your stubborn mindedness on the subject re jects change. This is an at- titude you must Oght. For to progress with construc- tive ideas, you must progress with the times.
frontier on the Burma-Slam make
Says
"And what is in this?" the Customs official, In- dicating n huge crate. 20ft. high. "My winter
under- clothes," replies the shii- eyed passenger. Following in father's
+
handsteps
A boy who came into school on all fours said he had seen his father do it in the kitchen, (News item.)
te
THAT is what is called setting a ludicrous example to and the father Young, should have said, "If you keep on copying me when I do this, it will Become a habit, and when you grow
up you will get nothing but bones to eat." Which leads to the glory of the film star who was dining with an admirer. A second admirer was hovering in a corner of the restaurant,
sick with Jealousy, and casting imploring cyes at the girl. "Throw him a
INTELLIGENCE TEST A selemn occasion!
By T. Q. HARE THE inte Committee Room
at the elab 18' often used But I happened to look Into it last night and saw three members reated in conference round the old-fashioned mahogany table A King whisky at each elbow empha- ised the solemnity of the occasion
of
Colonel Saddlesoap sat to the Left of the architect The stockbroker way to the right of Laure's husband. Olivia's at to the right of old Mildmugge, and the under- weiter to the left of bis close friend. Wildways.
Watch of the three bachelor?
(Solution on Page 12)
CARTOON
FIRED
Your impatience with those whose minds are less agile than your own may make caemics for your magnetic per- you, but sonalliy will draw others inty your orbit of ideology.
Mako sure that your standards are
for always held high,
you become an important influence upon your contemporary scene. Your marriage to someone who is Intellectually compatible should be a
and bar. a hoppy monious one.
To find what the stars have in store for tomorrow, select your birthday star and read the corresponding paragraph,
Let your birthday star be your dolly guldc.
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 28
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 29-Dee, others, You could be an object 22) Be cheerful and optimis- of gossip unless you are care. tic. for your influence upon ful. another who la depressed can be helpful.
CAPRICORN 20) Avoid all kinds of subter- fuge being frank and
by with all. Keep out of any or- gument.
(Dco.
23-Jan
open
AQUARIUS (Jan. 21-Feb. 10) tensions are climbing, Outdoor get into the country. sports can be helpful,
PISCES (Feb. 20-Mar. 21)- Get your proper rest these if you want to be alert days and efficient on the job.
ARIES (Mar. 22-Apr, 20)- A drive into the country can prove healthful and enjoyable. Got some fresh air.
TAURUS (Apr. 21-May 211 Don't clutter up your life with
non-essentials. Time - #ving methods are necessary for
success.
GEMINI (May 22-June 22)— Think twice before confiding in
• BARBS
By HAL COCHRAN
hear DELEEVE all you
Boy time a train whistles for a crossing!
A Frenchman invented the tin can in 1809. How about a toast to his memory; brides?
Razor blades Dra reported being sold in some restaurants. Before or after they're used to slico mest?
When Eskimos spank their children
we bet they make the fur fly
Little girls are young people who are not very likely to be of much help. to their mothers later on.
Check Your
Knowledge
1. Who conceived the,~'plan-
of the Suez Canal? yaris
2. What is a roundhouse?! Bongo Bins Where Was George
Bernand Bhaw born?
***** Where la the island
CANCER (June 23-July 28)- Self-reliance is important Just now. Be an inspiration" to friends, perhaps, who need your help.
LEO (July 24-Aug. 28) Don't let hypocritical associates undermine your best plans for #uccess. Stand on your own Sect.
down four for a penalty 1100 points!
"It seemed to us that South had a fairly good overcall. After all, what are you sup-
do posed to
with a fairly strong five-card zult in a hand that containa about three
If you honour tricks?
keep passing such cards the will steal every hand.
was
enemy
very
"West's double close and probably a very fine bld, but this does not settle the problem of what South should
have done with bis hand. Was it worth a bid or wasn't it?"
It was worth action, but it
was not worth a bld. South
+75
GJ 1993-3
#
W
*
$
10983
473
AQ963
→K+4
4KQJ
N-9 val.
South West
10
20 Pazs
North Double Pass
Opening lead-mė 10
of
should have doubled for a take-out instead VIRGO (Aug. 24-Sept. 22)—two hearts.
bidding A now plan of procedure may
There is speed up
no game unless your activities con- siderably. Your ideas
South strikes his partner with org good ones.
a fairly good hard. If North
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23)— Let your ideas
speak out, loudly. If challenged, defend your plans for action bravely.
has a good hand he will hasten to make a strong response to the take-out double.
Comedian Bob Hope compares proboscises with Marine Pic. Steven Dembowski, of Jersey City, N.J., at the Naval Hospital In Yokosuka, Japan. Hope and his troupe were entertaining Gls in Japan and Korea, and visited the leatherneck who was wounded while fighting in Seoul (Acme).
TAX RACKET
FOOD BILLS
IN
London.
Black market traffic in receipted bills for restaurant meals is referred to in Accountancy, the journal of the Incorporated Society of Ac- countants and Auditors.
to
upon The receipts, it is alleged, may also be called
substantiate their claims. customers to: are sold to
The fournal refers to allega- support their
Income tax tions that receipts are given to claims for entertainment walters as tips. These are sold
It is the
at a price tax- to other customers expenses.
regulated by the rate of tax to collectors' "new paper cur- which the customers are liable.
rency," comments the "SLAVISH PAPER-CHASE"
journal.
Under the Finance Act. 1948, all company directors, whatever their remuneration, and exccu- tives receiving more than £2,000 year are required to support their claims with receipts. Other people who have large expenses
BROTHERS'
HITCH-HIKE
TOUR
But that
"If vouchers are to be sup- plled in support of entertaining expenses t'e dishonest taxpayer can obtain them readily. they are only evidence someone bought meals hot that the taxpayer did, and certainly
ons entertain-- not that the
were on bus "slavish
paper-chase" made the accountant's task doubly difficult. The nature of the employment, business done and similar foots should be mone clearly shown than by 20- called vouchers.
ed
This This
"AURAY" "BEAUVAIS”
FREIGHT SERVICE
N. Africa & Europe. 15th Deo. N. Africa & Europe 15th Jan.
for
FORT SAID, TUNIS, MARSEILLES, ALGIERS, ORAN..
TANGIER, CASABLANCA, HAVRE, DUNKIRK, ANTWERP & ROTTERDAM.
CIE DES MESSAGERIES MARITIMES, Queen's Building
Tel. 26651 (Three Lines).
FLY via
DAS
Bangkok
MONDAYS & FRIDAYS
WEDNESDAYS & SUNDAYS SINGAPORE Thru, BANGKOK TAIPEH
- TOKYO
Pacific Overseas Airlines Stam
PENINSULA HOTEL, KOWLOON. PHONE 68805.
EARL HAIG FUND
BOXING TOURNAMENT
HONGKONG CRICKET CLUB
The demands of so many in- WEDNESDAY, 29th NOV.
spectam for the production of receipts showed how out of touch most of them were with
Two London brothers, 19. business.... year-old Tony and 24-year- old "Rusty" King, of Glen- bow Road, Downham, S.E.. If North has a moderately strong hand, North and South have just returned from SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)- may be able to out-bid their a 5,000-mile hitch-hike Independence of action now opponents and play the hand through France, Holland, will prove rewarding. You at a reasonable part-score con- Germany, Denmark, Swe should And bargains today, if] tract. If North has a weak hunting them.
hand, the advantage of theden, Norway, Lapland and
CROSSWORD
2
ACTOSE
1. lu make » walking-stick of this,
is an art (01.
4. A safe meat in the house? Should
bo (4)
#. Lid ha ideia what ne tesones
from @trous> (8)
Cuntainer for returned fruit, ( If you allow yourself to do tam yours is a boring existen on. (U
jady from aden. (4)
12 should make a perfect cura, 14) 14 Allamber contain it. 181
15 Junta round ngil 13)
1959 in this lora ons bus traditional
halfan 41
10. Prisoners who want to escape in 3. to break this (8)
21. As a clue thù le nos original tes 23. This auro: sa, enjoyment (147 24. * Vani; - Vidi, Via -
KLRY
fainjilar to you, but what is 15
20. Understandings. 141 over-love 7.^(4)
Dawa
4. Du, gen tala out of bed is no
a; if we ruako this of war, wo-drag
reluctans onde, to our side.
15)
3. Kala, romnakably, bronką. '-ART
A gwzzling Kaimai. (0)
Makos a corner in dan. ↑ (5)
To huu. 1.0.0.4 are naturally irkeoma
the A tamu sido? . (a)
Moet berrois Bro,
(0)
18. When the anlob, les despatchou
he's not prevoz k
JATOLI): 141
W
of
#plukion of Saturd
OPRIA
It took them five months, cost £21 80.
double is that it allows North Finland. to bid his best suft immediate- ly. This will probably be the best spot to play the hand.
If South had doubled, North would have bid two clubs. It is perfectly true that two clubs could not be made, North can expect to win four tricks, one heart and perhaps a spade ruff, At best, he
They are both Rover Scouts and say that is why the hollday was so cheap.
Scouts, Membership of the they say, is the best passport. club to hospitality abroad.
slept in They usually
the open air or in secut huts, but
would be down two tricks. very often were invited to stay
However, there is no double
of two clubs. East and West
would probably wind up play-
Ing
at private homes
ON ARCTIC SHIP......
the hand at four spades or To earn their keep they tend- three
no-trump, making a ed nursery gardens in Oslo, Kome. This,
however would went lumberjacking in Sweden, than giving became stewards. In an Arctic
ship.
bo lot cheaper them 1100 points.
The vital point is that when your hand warrants some de fensive action it may be more advisable to make a take-out double than to bid your own best suit. If your own suit is at all doubtful, it is advisable to give partner a chance name his suit....
CHESS PROBLEM
· By. F. ZIVKOVIO,
Black, 12 pieces.
onde White, di piecas
to
..d
Tony, who had just been doi mobilised when the trip begah, said: "We ran out of mone once, but managed to borrow from an old Scout friend In Holland."
1..
Rusty who served in the M14-' dle East during the war, hes decided to sya on again for Far Eastern scrvice, „Tony is look- ing for a civilinn job.
THEY MET IN
“BURMA
Five years ago an RAF mau and a young Burman stood on the steps of the Shwe Dagen Pagoda, Rangoon The Briton raid: "Now you have shown me the shrine, of your Bur- mese Buddhist, YOU must come to England and I will
you Canterbury Cathe dral, centre of our English Christianity dur
Recently the two men vishi- ed: Canterbury Cathedral to Sholm, Kyaw --had travelled The Buriniana
8,090 miles to "kludy yout White to play and mate is two.ganliations on behalf
| Fafürday's | All-Durma = Youth. Bhag
· Hlf host was. Crell
1 RAF of whilistable"
Kyaw
Sleep away
TICKETS FROM MOUTRIES, "
FLY
the miles as
you
You will find your berth on the
S.A.S. D.C-6 roomy and comfortable.
—even for two persons. The soft,
springy mattress induces sound
sleep and you will arriva -
at your destination well rested.
Book your S.A.S. sleeping 1modation to Europe or -nccommodâtă
North and South Americs
„ through Thoresensor.
your usual, travel agents.
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