THE CHINA MAIL, JANUARY 16, 1939
By BUD FISHER
WHAT DO YOU CARE?
FROM HERE THINK
TO WHERE? I'M GONNA
TELL YOU?
WHAT BRIDGE? NONE OF
YOUR BUSINESS!
HOW FAR IS IT FROM HERE TO
THERE?
WHERE DOES THE OTHER END OF THE BRIDGE.
Go To?
•BUT I WAS ONLY FOOLIN!)
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THE DAILY SHORT STORY
Disgustingly Human
Six months after she won the "Swell." Charlie declared. "Honey, Miami Beauty contest, Una Gough of you know your stuff. It'll make a Fairville, Pa., found herself a famous swell story! Go back there and give movie star. It all happened with them the works!"
such suddenness, with such a bewilder- Una wasn't exactly sure what the ing rush of events, that it left Una works were, but she went to Fairville fairly breathless. Looking back, the just the same. En route she thought incidents leading up to this day were about the life she had led in Hollywood mere flashes-vivid, startling flashes, and she decided that in Fairville she like the sequences of a cavalry charge would have to be différent. She on a movie screen,
would have to be as she had always been. She couldn't kid these people who had known her when. She didn't want to.
Una was not only breathless, but be wildered and a little frightened. When reporters crowded around her after the preview of "Happiness Ahead" she The proud citizens of Fairville had gulped and laughed nervously and prepared a celebration. They met the made a few stumbling remarks that train with a brass band, and paraded sounded, at least to her, wholly ridi- through
famous town, with their culous.
daughter sitting alone in the rear seat After all, Una could not be blamed of an open car. for her lack of poise. She was fun- That night they had a banquet and damentally a country girl, had never a lot of speech making but they didn't thought of herself as famous, and ask Una to speak, Jim Lattern ex- therefore had never prepared for it. plained that folks understood how she The night of the preview she cried her felt about her art. They weren't self to sleep. She had, she knew, going to impose on her by asking her ruined everything by her inability to to speak in public. be glib and make smart remarks to the Una couldn't think of a reply, so reporters. She dreaded facing Char- she only smiled. She was glad when lie Cuthbert the next morning. the celebration was over, because that -But when the next morning came meant she could cease being a movie and she walked into Charlie Cuthbert's star and act natural. The next morn- office, Charlie greeted her with smiles. ing she put on a gingham dress and
By Richard Hill Wilkinson
Doug Simmons, the publicity man, was there too.
"Honey," said Charlie Cuthbert, "all
was helping her mother with the dishes when the milkman arrived.
I can say is, you're a wonder! You're quart, please."
smart; you're subtle; you're lovely,
"Hi, Joe," she called. "An extra
When the grocery man
Joe gaped.
If ever a girl thought on her feet, you came, Una went out on the back porch were that girl last night. Honey, they love it!"
and chinned with him the way she used to do. That night she asked some of her old friends over to have a sing. There was an awkward half- hour before the old friends caught onto the fact that Una was the same Then they had a
"Who loves what?" asked Una. Charlie and Doug Simmons ex- changed winks. "Look," said Doug, "It's a swell gag. It's been done be- fore, but, child, you've got a new technique. Now, look, never let down, as she used to be. see? Live it and eat it and drink it. swell time. Then it comes natural to you,
The next day a bunch of reporters
see?
You're mysterious. You're bored with landed in town. Una sat on the front
They
all this fame. You wish people would step and talked with them. let you alone. All you're interested seemed not only surprised, but disap- in is your career. Art. You're pointed,
a true artist, You hate the place; you hate things as prosaic money. See? We'll string along and push out a lot of publicity and you'll be a sensation. See?"
common-
as
When Una read the papers that night she frowned in bewilder- ment. The papers declared that the last mysterious glamour girl had. at subjected herself to an interview, and it appeared that she was disgustingly But Una didn't see.
human. All she knew was she had done something and it had met with Charlie's approval. She didn't know what she'd done.
Late that night a telegram came
It was short
and to from Charlie. the point. It seemed that Una had ruined everything. She needn't re- turn to Hollywood.
She
In the weeks that followed Una was only partly aware of what went on. She read the publicity about herself Una felt a pang of bitterness, which and discovered she was mysterious and was soon suppressed by wonder. bored with everything except her art. didn't understand this. But then, she She liked to be alone and she loathed never had and it was a relief not interviews.
have to think about it any more.
(Copyright, 1938, By The Associated
These weren't the facts about Una, but if Charlie and Doug wanted her Newspapers.) to appear that way it was all right with her.
Time went on and Una become more famous and more glamorous and more mysterious. She found herself alone a good deal; found, to her surprise, that she was living the role Charlie and Doug had assigned her, living it naturally, without effort or complaint. Another month passed. Una finished her new picture and told Charlie Cuth- bert she wanted a vacation. She said she wanted to go back to Fair- ville and see her family and her old friends, and she meant' it.
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