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THE CHINA MAIL FRIDAY SUPPLEMENT, JULY 9, 1937
SENSE OF HUMOUR
NE night I am standing in front of Mindy's restaurant on Broadway, thinking of prac tically nothing whatever, when all of a sudden I feel a very terrible pain in my left foot.
In fact, this pain is so very terrible that it causes me to leap frog, up and down like a bull
cries of and to let out loud agony, and to speak some very profane language, which is by no means my custom, although, of course. I recognise the pain as coming from a hot foot, because I often experience this pain be- fore.
Furthermore, as I know Joe the Joker must be in the neighbour- hood, as Joe the Joker has the most wonderful sense of humour of anybody in this town, and is always around giving people the hot foot, and gives it to me more times than I can remember. In fact, I hear Joe the Joker in- vents the hot foot, and it finally becomes a very popular idea all over the country.
The way you give a hot foot is to sneak up behind some guy who is standing around thinking of not much, and stick a paper match in his shoe between the sole and the upper along about where his little toe ought to be, and then light the match. By and by the guy will feel a terrible pain in his foot, and will start stamping around, and hollering, and carry- ing on generally, and it is al- ways a most comical sight and a wonderful laugh to one and all to see him suffer.
No one in the world can give a hot foot as good as Joe the Joker, because it takes a guy who can sneak up very quiet on the sud
who is to get the
foot, and
Joe can sneak up so quiet many guys on.. Broadway are willing to lay you odds that he can give a mouse a hot foot if you can find
mouse that wears shoes. Furthermore, Joe the Joker can take plenty of care of himself in case the guy who gets the hot foot feels like taking the matter up, which sometimes happens, ea- pecially with guys who get their shoes made to order at forty bobs per copy, and who do not care to- have holes burned in these shoes,
X
But Joe does not care what kind of shoes the guys are wear- ing when he feels like giving out hot foots, and, furthermore, he does not care who the guys are, although many citizens think he makes a mistake the time he gives a hot foot to Frankie Ferocious. In fact, many citizens are great- ly horrified by this action, and go around saying nơ good will come of it.
This Frankie Ferocious comes
m over in Brooklyn, where he
considered a rising citizen in“- imany respects, and by no means
guy to give hot foots to, es- pecially as Frankie Ferocious has no sense of humour whatever. In fact, he is always very solemn, and nobody ever sees him laugh, and he certainly does not laugh when Joe the Joker gives him a hot foot one
on Broadway e day when Frankie Ferocious is stand- ing talking over a business mat- ter with some guys from the Bronx. He only scowls at
Joe and says something in Italian, and while I do not know what
he says, not being able to under- atand Italian, It sounds so un- pleasant that I guarantee I will leave town inside of the next two hours if he says it to me.
Of course Frankie Ferocious's name is not really Ferocious, but something in Italian like Feroc- cio, and I hear, he originally.
comes from Sic for "gh he
In Brooklyn
lives in
some
t be
modest
years, and from ginning he builds himself up un- til he is a very large operator în merchandise of one kind and an- other, especially alcohol. He is a big guy. of maybe thirty odd, and he has hair blacker than a yard up a chimney, and black eyes, and black eyebrows, and a slow way of looking at people.
Nobody seems to know a whole lot about Frankie Ferocious, be- cause he never has much to say, and he takes his time saying it. but everybody gives him plenty of room when he comes around, as there are rumours that Frankis never likes to be crowded.
far as I'm personally concerned.
I do not care for any part of Frankie Ferocious, because- his slow way of looking at people always makes me nervous, and I am always so
sorry Joe the Joker gives him the hot foot, because I figure Frankie Ferocious is. bound to consider it a most dis- respectful action, and hold it against everybody that lives on the Island of Manhattan.
But Joe the Joker only laughs when anybody tells me he is out of line in giving. Frankie the hot foot, and says it is n not his fault if Frankie has no sense · of humour. Furthermore, Joe says. he will not only give Frankie an- other hot foot if he gets a chance, but that he will give hot foots to President Hoover, o Mussolini, if he catches them in the right spot, although Regret, the horse states that Joe can have player, s 20 to 1
1 any time that he will not give Mussolini any hot foots and get away with it.
or
Anyway, just as I suspect there is Joe the Joker watching me when I feel the hot foot, and he is laughing very heartily, and furthermore a large number of other citizens are also laughing heartily, because Joe the Joker never sees any fun in giving peo- ple the hot foot unless others are
the
present to help him enjoy joke, or maybe some other Joke
he that Joe thinks up, an
al- ways thinking up something.
Well, naturally when I see who it is gives
the hot 15
the and
hands
me
over
and
laughter
shal
with Joe, and when I sake hands with him there is more laughter, because it seems
Joe has a hunk of Limburger
cheese in his duke, and what shake hands w with is this Lim- burger, Furthermore, it is some of Mindy's Limburger cheese, and everybody knows that Mindy's Limburger cheese is very squashy, and also very loud.
Of course, I laugh at this, too, although to tell the truth I will laugh much more heartily if Joe the Joker drops dead in front of me, because I do not like to be made the subject of laughter on Broadway. But my laugh is real-
ly quite hearty when Joe takes the rest of the cheese that is not on my fingers and smears it on the steering wheels of some auto-
Short Story
mobiles parked in front of Mindy's, because I get to think ing of what the drivers will say when they start steering their
cars.
Then I get to talking to Joe the Joker, and I ask him how things are up in Harlem, where Joe, and his younger brother, Freddy, and several other guys have a small organisation operating in beer, and Joe says things are as good
n be expected ás can
considering business conditions. Then I ask him how Rosa is getting along, this Rosa being Joe the Joker's ever-loving wife, and a personal friend of mine as. know her when she is Rosa Midnight, and is singing in the old Hot Box before Joe hauls off and marries her.
Well, at this question Joe the Joker starts laughing, and I can see that something appeals to his sense of humour, and finally he speaks as follows:
“Why” he says, “do you not
TOO GOOD TO MISS
I mean the opportunity of getting a smart bath- ing suit and shoes from the smartest shop in town MAIZEE'S at a special reduction of 25 per cent.
If you think that you don't need another bathing suit, just have a look at these bargains of a rare and un- usual beauty of design and be definite afterwards. Hats still go at reduced prices toɑ at MAIZEE'S. And, I think, I'll be doing a good turn to remind you again that there is a great, fresh stock of the famous Helena Rubinstein beauty-aids. Everything that essential for summer, loveliness.
MAIZEE'S
Alexandra Bldg.
hear the news about Rosa? _She takes the wind on me a couple of months ago for my friend Fran- kie Ferocious, and is living in
By Damon Runyan
an apartment on Bedford Avenue, over in Brooklyn, right near his house, although," Joe says, course you understand I am tell ing you this only to answer your question, and not to holler cop- per on Rosa.”
Then he lets out another large ha-ha; and in fact Joe the Joker keeps laughing until I am afraid he will injure himself internally, and I am figuring on getting away from him, because if Joe is found there in front of Mindy's with internal, injuries the gendarmes are bound to be around asking for information, and I can see it will not sound so reasonable to them if I say he laughs himself into these injuries. Personally I do not see
anything comical in guy's ever-loving wife taking the wind on him for a guy like Fran- kie Ferocious, so when Joe the Joker finally quiets down a bit I ask him what is funny about the proposition.
(Continued on- Page 7)