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THE CHINA MAIL, JUNE 28, 1937.
Arguments
Why Bother To Set Forth Logical Arguments In A World So Devoid Of Logic The World To-day?
WHAT CIVILISATION NOW NEEDS IS A GENERAL
SIT-DOWN STRIKE
con-
People would make their cloth, wear sandals of bark,
an-
own and
the
Says
Felix
Reisenberg
The Special Committee of the among us: The honest Govern- What people would eat is a ques" United States Senate on the Inves- ment would print whatever books tion. But the consensus of opinion" tigation of the Munitions Industry, were needed or desired The Con-is that they would eat less, and of put forth the following recom-gressional Record would consist of course, no meat. Insects would for
a time continue to disregard mendation,-"The committee (Sena a ten-page pamphlet, printed tors Nye, Clarke, Pope and Bone) nually, containing the names of comfort of the peaceful people. The Government would take over the recommends government ownership Congressmen in very small type. of facilities adequate for the
manufacture of insect powders, fly- struction of all warships by the
paper, and punk sticks. The private United States Navy: Department.”
manufacture of these lethal things, at the present time, is an enormous Of course this is only a recom- their health would become so
ex- source of profit. Insects are being mendation. Many things are con- traordinary that the old patent me-encouraged, being fed with tonics stantly being ... recommended by dicine factories would no longer be and such; at night, by private thim- senators and others. Many well- needed. Doctors would be retired bleriggers of the Insecticide Trust but rather
how meaning persons would like to see from the field of gynecology, return which only flourishes if the insects After the insects found out-
kind everyone was, they would stop all warship construction abandoned. ing the work to midwives. House keep strong and continue to annoy The United States should lead the building would follow shipbuilding the citizens. Insects should not be being mean and would eat up only way to peace by scrapping all of its -there would be no more mort- encouraged. The Government insect armaments. With no navy, no gages. People would migrate to powders and sprays would not kill ses." army, no coast guard, it would be warmer places in the winter.
the mosquitos,- bugs, and the like,
a short step to no merchant marine, no foreign trade. Then, by an intense and peaceful development
•
of our own resources, we could live THE
at home in contentment and pro- sperity. Those who wished to have a look at the world could_travel abroad on foreign ships, paying whatever fare was asked, and, if any foreign nation desired any of our goods, we might sell them at a profit less the cost of transport.
....
WAT
WORLD GOES BY
By › “ULYSSES
66 ISTENING, I visualised/
and an assistant bird-call.
would mollify them.
the less desirable weeds and gras-
Our whole world, at the present time is overridden ⠀⠀ with bad thoughts. In spite of the noble work of our Public Relations Coun- sellors and other philanthropists, common carping people cannot un- derstand the cash value of nobility. The Senators know that those who build war ships stir up fighting-ab However, They the ships will be sunk.
In almost saw superbly were heartily booed by the audience if they build them too strong they gowned French women, soft lights, for sneaking up on their comrades, won't sink, and they might capture minced “off- the platform enemy ships and bring them home spotless napery, suave, sophisticat- and
Social thoroughly ashamed of themselves. ed, impeccable dancing,"
as trophies. - This would be bad for notes in London paper.
business. On the other hand if we be build no ships at all, all will
serene:
Our peaceful people would have no more need for the various police forces. By a campaign of educa tion people would no longer drop lighted matches into flammable materials, no one wuld smoke in bed, and all cooking would be done without fire; · we could abandon the fire departments. In a truly soap, and the towel. peaceful world there would be no jails, and, of course, no courts. Judges would be unnecessary, their admonitions being taken over by the greatly reduced staff of clergy-
Where are the French women?... - They are in their superb gowns. Their napes are spotless, I see. You, too, may have spotless na- pery. Here is the hot water, the
to
men who would only be needed marry young couples desiring to mate for the purpose of procreation?
In this sane world, in which no one would be preying upon his weaker neighbour, fewer and fewer laws would be required.
Thank you. Now I should like to dance in a suave, sophisticated, im- peccable fashion- Please do so. fallen down.
But, alas, you have
yes, it was careless of me to tread
on the soap.
I trust you found the lights soft. You are too amiable. Not at all.
Sessions Is It Cricket?
of Congress ould become shorter.
only at long intervals
Treasury.
so that the
میں
Brahms
Barbs
Even though there is a big de mand for scrap iron, motorists ought not to crash red ights.
A radio comedian's wife is suing him for divorce, charging excessive cruelty.' That seems a mild way of describing listening to those jokes.
"Ape Runs
Amuck in Chicago Zoo." It was rather callous of that Indianapolis clergyman to reviv discussion of the Darwin theory.
A visiting English comedienne in the U. S. is said to be higher paid| than Mae West. Off hand, one occur would say it would be hard to beat
Mae's figure. -
After a while Congress would meet The finale of the roll could be called, and proper Minor Symphony was overwhelming addresses obtained for the mailing because of the avoidance of prema-
ture'. of their pay cheques. Many of the
or partial climaxes." more honest Senators and Repre Review of concert. sentatives, not having earned their (a) Premature climaxes cheques, would return them to the when the orchestra as a whole gets bored with Brahms long before the end, as many of us do, and wants Shipbuilders would no longer ex-to go home. They generally ex- ist, and in time the whole Senate change a nod or two, play one long
The Hercules with a sledge: ham- and House
Representatives resounding chord, and pack up. mer symbolizing....... Labour, seem would follow them into oblivion. (b) Partial climaxes occur when rather out of date now, and perhaps Young men, wearing goat skins certain favourites of the conductor, should be replaced by Rodin's¬sit- (taken from goats, that had died of lyes-men, social climbers, harks, downer. old, age) would play their flutes fawhers and lickspittles go on play- and watch their shearing flocks,ing when the rest of the boys have
Vise men with long beards would stopped, just to curry favour,
nit around open firesides telling
stories, or sagas, for the bool ing
At Queen's Hall some time ago a ANDR
print- Brahma symphony ended officially
3 would be no longer in this way with one flute, a triangle
What civilization now needs is a general sit down strike. All hands quit preying on each other, every- one just
his own busines. - und let the quiet of past ages come again to this old tired earth: Let there be no more talk, no more in- vestigations, no more uplift, and no more worry.
Mr. Nye is right in one way. If we now owned the entire earth, and Congress was composed of fifty thousand members, all fighting and wrangling would be confined to that body, and the rest of us could ignore desirable weeds and
less
the
grases.
hine,
New
eracy a goose ra
miles an hour,
dlustris (C
ning