1950-05-03 — Page 4

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, MAY 3, 1950.

Theatre

AIR COOLED, DEHUMIDIFIED, OZONIZED AND PURIFIED

TAKE ANY EAST BOUND TRAM or ROUTE NO. 5.BUS

SHOWING TO-DAY

4 SHOWS AT 2.30, 5.15, 7.30 & 9.30 P.M.

HE BRAVES A THOUSAND PERIES FOR LOVE!

thas gracewe bereik E

eat routing odenstag, roma

ALEXANDER JORDA PRESENTS

THE THIEF OF BAGDAD

IN TECHNICOTIN

CONRAD VEIDT-SABU •JUNE DUPREZ

* UMÍN ZATBAN · MELLY DA12/0

UIL

WINNER OF FOUR

ACADEMY AWARDS

★ COMMENCING FRIDAY ✯

BARBARA STANWYCK WENDELL COREY

"I'm

in HAL WALLIS production

no goodThelma Jordon

for any man!"

Screenplay by hath fives » Fries a sery by Mary Holland

BOOKINGS NOW OPEN!

SHOWING

TO-DAY

LIBERTY

+84 in Concilionid=

AT 2.30, 5.30, 7.30 & 9.30 P.M.

YOU'LL ROAR!

KNITED ARTIS

PRODUCTIONS

STORK

BITES

MAN

SHOWING

TO-DAY

'Aturing

JACKIE COOPER

Dlowed by Cyril Badkald

FIRST TIME SHOWING IN HONG KONG NEXT ATTRACTION

ESBULLION Presented by

ALEXANDER KORDA & DAVID D. SYLEİCE

JOSEPH COTTEN VALLI ORSON WELLES TREVOR HOWARD

in Carol Reed') Latest production

"The Third Man"

11 On a separ se chaman GREEN

Pandaunted CAROL REBO

ALHAMBRA

AIR FRESHENED

TO-DAY ONLY AT 2.30, 5.15, 7.20 & 9.30 P.M.

THE NEW INGRID BERGMAN HIT!

INGRID BERGMAN

JOSEPH COTTEN MICHAEL WILDING

ALFRED HITCHCOCK'S

LUNDER

CAPRICORN

OPENS

TECHNICOLOR

SHOWING TO-DAY

P = WARNER BROS. •»TRANSATLANTIC

"IN THE GOOD OLD SUMMERTIME"

An M-G-M Musical In Technicolor,

MASAKANYANG MAAt 2.30. 5.20,

7.20 & 9.20

MAJESTIC

AIR-CONDITIONED

4. ARTIKIR RAMK PRESENTE

Michael REDGRAVE - Rosenfùnd JOHN

THE BOULING BROTHERS PRODUCTION De Howard. Springe med

Fame is the Spur.

BERNARD KILES · CARLA LEHMANN HUGH BURDEN MARJORIE FIELDING • Y SETMODE MERI, ANTHONY WAKES Oored by BOY BOUNTING »Prodered by JOHN BOWLTING

& TYTO SERIES FILI + 1, SI BIUDICE 14 thugs of production

COMMENCING FRIDAY —

John WAYNE

P.M.

Joanne DRU⚫ John AGAR

"SHE WORE A YELLOW RIBBON"

Color By Technicalor

"Some of 'om have got the right idea-give us a shilling to paint their barns and wo supply the paint."

London Express Service

Today: by Wilfred Pickles

HOW TO TALK YOUR WAY IN--2

• IF YOU have ever felt the anguish of being left on the fringe of a party, outside the animated circles of talk and argument, you will have asked the question: What is the secret of easy conversation?

Today Wilfred Pickles gives a list of Don'ts, and draws on his personal experiences to help readers who may sometimes feel embarrassed among strangers.

My size is

a handicap

HAKESPEARE

"Society is no

fort to one not

said:

com-

90-

ciable." So it would seem then that the fault lies with the individual rather than with society.

I've

Well, I'm not so sure. mixed a lot during these last few years and I süllun across people who make me complele- ly tongue-tled-just on a miner from the Rhondda Valley might feel completely lost among the set, just ns tho arty-crafty master of the foxhounds might

become completely

the local "hep."

Ye! fundamentally

ali very much alike.

Sketch

by

ROBB

-what about you!

WILFRED

SAYS:

'Don't try

to think

out a line

dumb

at

of patter

we are

"If you

prick us, do we not bloed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh?" and so on.

I'M NOT OFTEN STUCK

FOR WORDS, BUT—

WHILE admitting

often stuck for

I am not

words, 1

do have moments when I'm in. clined to go to places.

protest, explaining

in Was

who

furn,"

am

completely

before you Ro to party...

TOMORROW :

Godfrey Winn

and

which might help you to regain unce you've confidence, Kot confidence you'll talk in anybody's company.

Sitting On The Fence

By... Nathaniel Gubbins

D

O you ever wake up and Dog if he nows landlord in the morning fooline Dog and Duck. Then ache land- lord Dog an' Duck if he knows billous and depressed? Innord Duck an' Dog. Then go feel that life back to Lucky Dog an aheu Do you ever has nothing offer and lan'ord Muddy Duck. Then re- that your wife is just a un Lucky Duck on' go back

Ruddy Dog. Then go home. white man's burden?

to

If you feel like that, remain calm and try to renron things out.

Your billousness is certainly your own fault, and your wife would probably have been just ns great a burden to either a Zulu or an albino.

Jillie thinga Itemember that nre sent to try us, and it your to be a happen wife doesn't little thing. you must have courage and bear it like a man,

Remember, niso, that every

worms in the thing, even the garden, have a message of love and hope for us all. And don't forget your morning exercises.

What is a husband?

A

Bumped off at 103

"Sex appeal on the films is old fhioned, and the now stuff is children's or ok men's pictures."-From an article on the secrets of Hollywood.

view of this, I have written Tolkie the scenario called "Thunder and Gums" in which all more than a hundred years old. beging with n The picture nged 103, drooling by his collage long shot of Gran'fer Munter, to sing the fre. He is trying

Daya. theme song, "Dribbling

12 but Again," Here Arc

of n

the characters aro

andenpped by his lack of teeth.

There is a fade-out, and we next

HUSBAND is a man who see a close-up of Gran'ler show

ing his gums.

(1) las no views of his own, (2) Has no money of his own. (3) Ifas no secrets of his own. (4) Tas no will of his own. (5) Often has no bedroom of

his

(6)

own.

Certainly has no cigarettes, handkerchiefs, or tooth paste of his own. Nevertheless, he is usually the man who

(a) Troposes marriage,

(b) If refused, proposes again, (c) And again, and again. (d) Pays for the wedding. (e) Puts the dog out.

(f) Pays the rent.

(R) Puts the cat out. th) Pays for his daughter's

wedding.

(1) Puts out.

mother-in-law

(3) Fays for his own funeral,

Subsequent seenes reveal that Gran'fer Mutter and Scarfaco Albert Edward Hogg, the only stone-deaf gangster, aged 192, are both in love with the samo woman, Mrs MI, aged 101, We see a close-up of Mrs Minn also showing her guy.

Then there is a long shot of a Gran'fer between meeting

Albert, Mugfer and Scarfaco who have hated each other for 85 years.

SCARFACE ALBERT: Olver come to bump 'ce orf.

GRAN'FER MUGFER: Hey? SCARFACE ALBERT: Dang ee, O'll teach 'ce to come a- muselin' in on my r-a---kot.

Let's go hiking seize Granfer, who is put up

GRAN FER MUGFER: Hey? Several centenarians, all men- bern of Scarface's ging, then against a wall and blown to to thousands of plecca with Scarfaco's blunder. IN response

requesta, I have decided to buss.

publish the itinerary

of a de-

lightful hike In The Glorious Spring - cleaning

English Countryside.

Is-

Hero

This is an excellent hike for

hint

those who have corns and large QPRINKLE carpets and rugs

3

INSTEAD of searching your have to count their inters when familles. brain all the time for some you let go. thing to talk about, try to be Fond Ustener. Your stock will

with

THERE'S

will even

Work this

ica leaves, coffeo call, and ALWAYS onc Have lunch first to aveld dis- rounds, bran, common polato peelings, pepper, truin ચ

vlucgar to taste. thing that I think is im-appointment. Then take go up enormously, people will portant. I don't know whether to Little Widdle (or Big Widdle; vigorously into the pile, adding warm towards you, and the you agree, but. If you're meet-it doesn't matter which) and folks who like being agreed with ing people for the first time, to start your hike. If the day is the yolks of six eggs. Gamish

of the party dressed in something in which hot, or even if it isn't, the less with onions and serve cold. (and who do not?)

active members

Wash cretonnes in tran water, you feel perfectly comfortable. call you brand-minded,

A suit that's a quarter of an (including yourself) can take an Get four handfuls of bran. Don't Put it in muslin bag. TRY to talk to people about inch too long in the sleeves, or afternoon nap within easy walk; cnt it.

of the Dog and pair of shoes that pinch your ing distance what interests them and not

simmer. Lot it burst, if you do feet-and what interests you, and

your confidence has Duck while the others climb the Bell in gallon of water. Let it

hill.

ke. Throw in cretonnes. Boil. of remembering gone before you've started,

throw in salt, If colour runs make a point the other person's nome. two sweetest sounding words in the English language are John Smith, if you happen to be call- rd that.

5

The

RELAX AND BE

HALF-WAY HOME

Afler

refreshing steep,

awake and walk

to Dost and pepper, vinegar, and a bottle of Duck. Then walk out of Dug brandy. Serve with hot vege

tables. see if party has IF YOU can relax complete-and Duck to

Duck. Then

Love

husband threw hammer at me and then i

After

Y

threw it at his mother, that there was

A general row,

Do, 9 STORIES:

ly you're half-way home.returned. Having catisfied your- FUNNY

have not, walk yuu' self that they be

over-anxiousness careful here By please,

into every trap there back to Dog and there's nothing worse than the fall bore who will keep on saying. You'll even find yourself finish- take a little hike round Dog and ing the other fellow's sentences Duck and return. Ask landlord "That reminds me,"

Don't worry about if he has seen party. and, for im other If, on the

Anythink rather of

Take another hike round Dog happens to be a session of story what to

and Duck and return to Duck and my husband throw a chair at_nic."-A young wife at the telling, don't be in a hurry to what not to say.

the over-an- Timing is impor-

Don't be like

Askt landlord Duck

police court. tell yours. tant.

xious B.B.C. announcer who was and Dog. Listen to Kay

Hammond endeavouring to put at ease a member of the We Bet to Differ." Notice how well-known

Government before his brand- and said: "I shouldn't cleverly she lets the talk well on the way before the even

were you, I atters a word, thereby getting worry, sir, if I

e breit Taughs for what are don't think anyone will be lis-

funniest reping!"

DON'T. FOLLOW too

books rily

always the

rks.

DON'T COLLAR HER FOR THE EVENING

the

0:1

You see, my one great dis- advantage is that I'm only 5ft. 7 ins, tall, 34 Ins, round the Found the chest

und 32ins, middle-not a very impressive sight!

When 1 120 And sometimes

pub and politely COMING from these Islands into a busy

of ours, the odds are a not nsic for a glass of bitter, no- 1

me, and to hear

you'll have nn necent or dialect body seems

And don't prface your story 10 to your part of the during my vain pleading a x peculiar

of for heaven's sake wie. "And have you heard the

behaving like one footer will come behind me and country so

I remem- you've even Hogarth's Puppets, tones shout don't try to lose li. Don't by wonderful buty about cliquette, or you'll find your- commanding

it before you'll send killed Two nice bitters, please, Miss." tulk "posh,"

10

der reading one of these books and you started.

"Don't It said: ago. years He is invariably serves on

won't even recolhis yoursel

wear an overcoat in the draw- the spot, and if I raise my voica completely unnatural

that r

trouble is that if you The

ing-roon. If you are making a short call carry your bat and there first, I am severely should get exci ed you'll lapse

the barmaid,

back into your native straight reprimanded by

IT OFTEN happens that you slick in your hand, but never wall your says, "You

wi:1 tike une person better an umbrella." after which remark 1 tongue, and then everybody will ook round wondering whe ou

Dan't collar than the others,

THE OTHER GUY MAY speechless and

carth's talking.

safe anti feel about four feet six.

BE NERVOUS, TOO!! the other HAT a lesson to be learned! to this not only Previous the story of the hed I carried my umbrella inte ane handicap that's

but drawing-room, W I've

hnd to try to over-

occasions I had even a ciri for the whole

several handi- think out a line of patter for young fellow at a party who the Jou've

the Fortunately, come-perhaps

use during a lull in the conver- cornered

Finally the rore to put it up!

much too finely capa, too, but of a different na-

them sation, such as, "Who do you evening, ture. But what makes

Usial

wil win the Cup this leave, and he inquired, "Who's duchess was makes us shy handicaps-whal

begon to eat her peas: off her Surely it's year? They probably couldn't driving you home?" "You are," bred to comment and promptly und tongue-Uled?

Or, "Have you Heen she shopped, and walked out It's obvious care less.

remember always Finally. self-consciousness.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: When knife! about any good plays lately? Maybe conscious Fell

Introduced to some that the other person may be haven't, and you'll end

you're otherwise I shouldn't they

averybody. my size,

embarrassing

you thake hands see finding you a bit more difficult After it in this ar- by have mentioned

bond-cheke in warm than you're Anding him. Even if they have, perhaps it's body, if

that your ticle.

friendly. Don't give then all "There's nowt so queer Be a play you've never heard of. BIY we going to

Very soon you'l! And yourself

folk"--and you're one at 'em! I'm not going to do about it?

don't of your own your ha.tu as if i were a piece out

tripe-alternatively

so hard that they try to tell you what to do, but completely

grip theirs from my experience I'll try to depth, and you've only yoursuit of

not to do, me-YOU started it. tell you

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT NOT TO DO

WELL,

I'm

Now what

what

NANCY

FANI

AUTHMILLEP

you

don't them for the evening, simply the other hand,

fect become belligerent and overde because the accent, Just talk as you secure in their company. Think

how embarrassed would at home.

IF YOU'RE invited out into person will be.

dun 1 Hemember company, strange

Alley, Oops!

LIVER

FISH

MILK

GARBAG

ол

-(London Express Service)

By Ernie Bushmilier

PSYCHIATRIST

POCKET CARTOON By OSBERT LANCASTER

*As far as i can make out the pilot is a loyal Parip member and wants to go back to Proque, the co pliers a

and is nehamo Be grade the navigator's escapino front the secret police the

letardess nes vot a friend at Northolt, theure all Armed and their under carriage is stuck ("

What is this thing called love?

Don't be born beautiful

One of those American doctors who are always say- ing something or other caye that modern parents don't mind if their children are plal: becauso they usually grow up clever and make inoney.

RED

repulsive litlo Willie,

It May be ugly but not allllo, Hideous, cross-4yed little Johnnie May grow up to make

monnlo,

some

And, despite protruding cars, Deal in lois of phoney shears. And Baby Bert, who looks so

chocking,

One day will

rocking.

set the market

As a baby Uncle Nat

Must have been the sweetest

brat..

But what's the use of big boo

eyes

་

such.

If you never get a riso? ho had though And

dimpled knees He'll never get director's foen.

**London Express Servier)

Stop the cold fart

!

with SWANAHIST

Tablew

Seg

Coated

Oile

MAMASIS

of all

Ding Store

1011 AGENTS

NAN KANG CO.

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