THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, MAY 3, 1950.
Theatre
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TAKE ANY EAST BOUND TRAM or ROUTE NO. 5.BUS
SHOWING TO-DAY
4 SHOWS AT 2.30, 5.15, 7.30 & 9.30 P.M.
HE BRAVES A THOUSAND PERIES FOR LOVE!
thas gracewe bereik E
eat routing odenstag, roma
ALEXANDER JORDA PRESENTS
THE THIEF OF BAGDAD
IN TECHNICOTIN
CONRAD VEIDT-SABU •JUNE DUPREZ
* UMÍN ZATBAN · MELLY DA12/0
UIL
WINNER OF FOUR
ACADEMY AWARDS
★ COMMENCING FRIDAY ✯
BARBARA STANWYCK WENDELL COREY
"I'm
in HAL WALLIS production
no goodThelma Jordon
for any man!"
Screenplay by hath fives » Fries a sery by Mary Holland
BOOKINGS NOW OPEN!
SHOWING
TO-DAY
LIBERTY
+84 in Concilionid=
AT 2.30, 5.30, 7.30 & 9.30 P.M.
YOU'LL ROAR!
KNITED ARTIS
PRODUCTIONS
STORK
BITES
MAN
SHOWING
TO-DAY
'Aturing
JACKIE COOPER
Dlowed by Cyril Badkald
FIRST TIME SHOWING IN HONG KONG NEXT ATTRACTION
ESBULLION Presented by
ALEXANDER KORDA & DAVID D. SYLEİCE
JOSEPH COTTEN VALLI ORSON WELLES TREVOR HOWARD
in Carol Reed') Latest production
"The Third Man"
11 On a separ se chaman GREEN
Pandaunted CAROL REBO
ALHAMBRA
AIR FRESHENED
TO-DAY ONLY AT 2.30, 5.15, 7.20 & 9.30 P.M.
THE NEW INGRID BERGMAN HIT!
INGRID BERGMAN
JOSEPH COTTEN MICHAEL WILDING
ALFRED HITCHCOCK'S
LUNDER
CAPRICORN
OPENS
TECHNICOLOR
SHOWING TO-DAY
P = WARNER BROS. •»TRANSATLANTIC
"IN THE GOOD OLD SUMMERTIME"
An M-G-M Musical In Technicolor,
MASAKANYANG MAAt 2.30. 5.20,
7.20 & 9.20
MAJESTIC
AIR-CONDITIONED
4. ARTIKIR RAMK PRESENTE
Michael REDGRAVE - Rosenfùnd JOHN
THE BOULING BROTHERS PRODUCTION De Howard. Springe med
Fame is the Spur.
BERNARD KILES · CARLA LEHMANN HUGH BURDEN MARJORIE FIELDING • Y SETMODE MERI, ANTHONY WAKES Oored by BOY BOUNTING »Prodered by JOHN BOWLTING
& TYTO SERIES FILI + 1, SI BIUDICE 14 thugs of production
COMMENCING FRIDAY —
John WAYNE
P.M.
Joanne DRU⚫ John AGAR
"SHE WORE A YELLOW RIBBON"
Color By Technicalor
"Some of 'om have got the right idea-give us a shilling to paint their barns and wo supply the paint."
London Express Service
Today: by Wilfred Pickles
HOW TO TALK YOUR WAY IN--2
• IF YOU have ever felt the anguish of being left on the fringe of a party, outside the animated circles of talk and argument, you will have asked the question: What is the secret of easy conversation?
Today Wilfred Pickles gives a list of Don'ts, and draws on his personal experiences to help readers who may sometimes feel embarrassed among strangers.
My size is
a handicap
HAKESPEARE
"Society is no
fort to one not
said:
com-
90-
ciable." So it would seem then that the fault lies with the individual rather than with society.
I've
Well, I'm not so sure. mixed a lot during these last few years and I süllun across people who make me complele- ly tongue-tled-just on a miner from the Rhondda Valley might feel completely lost among the set, just ns tho arty-crafty master of the foxhounds might
become completely
the local "hep."
Ye! fundamentally
ali very much alike.
Sketch
by
ROBB
-what about you!
WILFRED
SAYS:
'Don't try
to think
out a line
dumb
at
of patter
we are
"If you
prick us, do we not bloed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh?" and so on.
I'M NOT OFTEN STUCK
FOR WORDS, BUT—
WHILE admitting
often stuck for
I am not
words, 1
do have moments when I'm in. clined to go to places.
protest, explaining
in Was
who
furn,"
am
completely
before you Ro to party...
TOMORROW :
Godfrey Winn
and
which might help you to regain unce you've confidence, Kot confidence you'll talk in anybody's company.
Sitting On The Fence
By... Nathaniel Gubbins
D
O you ever wake up and Dog if he nows landlord in the morning fooline Dog and Duck. Then ache land- lord Dog an' Duck if he knows billous and depressed? Innord Duck an' Dog. Then go feel that life back to Lucky Dog an aheu Do you ever has nothing offer and lan'ord Muddy Duck. Then re- that your wife is just a un Lucky Duck on' go back
Ruddy Dog. Then go home. white man's burden?
to
If you feel like that, remain calm and try to renron things out.
Your billousness is certainly your own fault, and your wife would probably have been just ns great a burden to either a Zulu or an albino.
Jillie thinga Itemember that nre sent to try us, and it your to be a happen wife doesn't little thing. you must have courage and bear it like a man,
Remember, niso, that every
worms in the thing, even the garden, have a message of love and hope for us all. And don't forget your morning exercises.
What is a husband?
A
Bumped off at 103
"Sex appeal on the films is old fhioned, and the now stuff is children's or ok men's pictures."-From an article on the secrets of Hollywood.
view of this, I have written Tolkie the scenario called "Thunder and Gums" in which all more than a hundred years old. beging with n The picture nged 103, drooling by his collage long shot of Gran'fer Munter, to sing the fre. He is trying
Daya. theme song, "Dribbling
12 but Again," Here Arc
of n
the characters aro
andenpped by his lack of teeth.
There is a fade-out, and we next
HUSBAND is a man who see a close-up of Gran'ler show
ing his gums.
(1) las no views of his own, (2) Has no money of his own. (3) Ifas no secrets of his own. (4) Tas no will of his own. (5) Often has no bedroom of
his
(6)
own.
Certainly has no cigarettes, handkerchiefs, or tooth paste of his own. Nevertheless, he is usually the man who
(a) Troposes marriage,
(b) If refused, proposes again, (c) And again, and again. (d) Pays for the wedding. (e) Puts the dog out.
(f) Pays the rent.
(R) Puts the cat out. th) Pays for his daughter's
wedding.
(1) Puts out.
mother-in-law
(3) Fays for his own funeral,
Subsequent seenes reveal that Gran'fer Mutter and Scarfaco Albert Edward Hogg, the only stone-deaf gangster, aged 192, are both in love with the samo woman, Mrs MI, aged 101, We see a close-up of Mrs Minn also showing her guy.
Then there is a long shot of a Gran'fer between meeting
Albert, Mugfer and Scarfaco who have hated each other for 85 years.
SCARFACE ALBERT: Olver come to bump 'ce orf.
GRAN'FER MUGFER: Hey? SCARFACE ALBERT: Dang ee, O'll teach 'ce to come a- muselin' in on my r-a---kot.
Let's go hiking seize Granfer, who is put up
GRAN FER MUGFER: Hey? Several centenarians, all men- bern of Scarface's ging, then against a wall and blown to to thousands of plecca with Scarfaco's blunder. IN response
requesta, I have decided to buss.
publish the itinerary
of a de-
lightful hike In The Glorious Spring - cleaning
English Countryside.
Is-
Hero
This is an excellent hike for
hint
those who have corns and large QPRINKLE carpets and rugs
3
INSTEAD of searching your have to count their inters when familles. brain all the time for some you let go. thing to talk about, try to be Fond Ustener. Your stock will
with
THERE'S
will even
Work this
ica leaves, coffeo call, and ALWAYS onc Have lunch first to aveld dis- rounds, bran, common polato peelings, pepper, truin ચ
vlucgar to taste. thing that I think is im-appointment. Then take go up enormously, people will portant. I don't know whether to Little Widdle (or Big Widdle; vigorously into the pile, adding warm towards you, and the you agree, but. If you're meet-it doesn't matter which) and folks who like being agreed with ing people for the first time, to start your hike. If the day is the yolks of six eggs. Gamish
of the party dressed in something in which hot, or even if it isn't, the less with onions and serve cold. (and who do not?)
active members
Wash cretonnes in tran water, you feel perfectly comfortable. call you brand-minded,
A suit that's a quarter of an (including yourself) can take an Get four handfuls of bran. Don't Put it in muslin bag. TRY to talk to people about inch too long in the sleeves, or afternoon nap within easy walk; cnt it.
of the Dog and pair of shoes that pinch your ing distance what interests them and not
simmer. Lot it burst, if you do feet-and what interests you, and
your confidence has Duck while the others climb the Bell in gallon of water. Let it
hill.
ke. Throw in cretonnes. Boil. of remembering gone before you've started,
throw in salt, If colour runs make a point the other person's nome. two sweetest sounding words in the English language are John Smith, if you happen to be call- rd that.
5
The
RELAX AND BE
HALF-WAY HOME
Afler
refreshing steep,
awake and walk
to Dost and pepper, vinegar, and a bottle of Duck. Then walk out of Dug brandy. Serve with hot vege
tables. see if party has IF YOU can relax complete-and Duck to
Duck. Then
Love
husband threw hammer at me and then i
After
Y
threw it at his mother, that there was
A general row,
Do, 9 STORIES:
ly you're half-way home.returned. Having catisfied your- FUNNY
have not, walk yuu' self that they be
over-anxiousness careful here By please,
into every trap there back to Dog and there's nothing worse than the fall bore who will keep on saying. You'll even find yourself finish- take a little hike round Dog and ing the other fellow's sentences Duck and return. Ask landlord "That reminds me,"
Don't worry about if he has seen party. and, for im other If, on the
Anythink rather of
Take another hike round Dog happens to be a session of story what to
and Duck and return to Duck and my husband throw a chair at_nic."-A young wife at the telling, don't be in a hurry to what not to say.
the over-an- Timing is impor-
Don't be like
Askt landlord Duck
police court. tell yours. tant.
xious B.B.C. announcer who was and Dog. Listen to Kay
Hammond endeavouring to put at ease a member of the We Bet to Differ." Notice how well-known
Government before his brand- and said: "I shouldn't cleverly she lets the talk well on the way before the even
were you, I atters a word, thereby getting worry, sir, if I
e breit Taughs for what are don't think anyone will be lis-
funniest reping!"
DON'T. FOLLOW too
books rily
always the
rks.
DON'T COLLAR HER FOR THE EVENING
the
0:1
You see, my one great dis- advantage is that I'm only 5ft. 7 ins, tall, 34 Ins, round the Found the chest
und 32ins, middle-not a very impressive sight!
When 1 120 And sometimes
pub and politely COMING from these Islands into a busy
of ours, the odds are a not nsic for a glass of bitter, no- 1
me, and to hear
you'll have nn necent or dialect body seems
And don't prface your story 10 to your part of the during my vain pleading a x peculiar
of for heaven's sake wie. "And have you heard the
behaving like one footer will come behind me and country so
I remem- you've even Hogarth's Puppets, tones shout don't try to lose li. Don't by wonderful buty about cliquette, or you'll find your- commanding
it before you'll send killed Two nice bitters, please, Miss." tulk "posh,"
10
der reading one of these books and you started.
"Don't It said: ago. years He is invariably serves on
won't even recolhis yoursel
wear an overcoat in the draw- the spot, and if I raise my voica completely unnatural
that r
trouble is that if you The
ing-roon. If you are making a short call carry your bat and there first, I am severely should get exci ed you'll lapse
the barmaid,
back into your native straight reprimanded by
IT OFTEN happens that you slick in your hand, but never wall your says, "You
wi:1 tike une person better an umbrella." after which remark 1 tongue, and then everybody will ook round wondering whe ou
Dan't collar than the others,
THE OTHER GUY MAY speechless and
carth's talking.
safe anti feel about four feet six.
BE NERVOUS, TOO!! the other HAT a lesson to be learned! to this not only Previous the story of the hed I carried my umbrella inte ane handicap that's
but drawing-room, W I've
hnd to try to over-
occasions I had even a ciri for the whole
several handi- think out a line of patter for young fellow at a party who the Jou've
the Fortunately, come-perhaps
use during a lull in the conver- cornered
Finally the rore to put it up!
much too finely capa, too, but of a different na-
them sation, such as, "Who do you evening, ture. But what makes
Usial
wil win the Cup this leave, and he inquired, "Who's duchess was makes us shy handicaps-whal
begon to eat her peas: off her Surely it's year? They probably couldn't driving you home?" "You are," bred to comment and promptly und tongue-Uled?
Or, "Have you Heen she shopped, and walked out It's obvious care less.
remember always Finally. self-consciousness.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS: When knife! about any good plays lately? Maybe conscious Fell
Introduced to some that the other person may be haven't, and you'll end
you're otherwise I shouldn't they
averybody. my size,
embarrassing
you thake hands see finding you a bit more difficult After it in this ar- by have mentioned
bond-cheke in warm than you're Anding him. Even if they have, perhaps it's body, if
that your ticle.
friendly. Don't give then all "There's nowt so queer Be a play you've never heard of. BIY we going to
Very soon you'l! And yourself
folk"--and you're one at 'em! I'm not going to do about it?
don't of your own your ha.tu as if i were a piece out
tripe-alternatively
so hard that they try to tell you what to do, but completely
grip theirs from my experience I'll try to depth, and you've only yoursuit of
not to do, me-YOU started it. tell you
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT NOT TO DO
WELL,
I'm
Now what
what
NANCY
FANI
AUTHMILLEP
you
don't them for the evening, simply the other hand,
fect become belligerent and overde because the accent, Just talk as you secure in their company. Think
how embarrassed would at home.
IF YOU'RE invited out into person will be.
dun 1 Hemember company, strange
Alley, Oops!
LIVER
FISH
MILK
GARBAG
ол
-(London Express Service)
By Ernie Bushmilier
PSYCHIATRIST
POCKET CARTOON By OSBERT LANCASTER
*As far as i can make out the pilot is a loyal Parip member and wants to go back to Proque, the co pliers a
and is nehamo Be grade the navigator's escapino front the secret police the
letardess nes vot a friend at Northolt, theure all Armed and their under carriage is stuck ("
What is this thing called love?
Don't be born beautiful
One of those American doctors who are always say- ing something or other caye that modern parents don't mind if their children are plal: becauso they usually grow up clever and make inoney.
RED
repulsive litlo Willie,
It May be ugly but not allllo, Hideous, cross-4yed little Johnnie May grow up to make
monnlo,
some
And, despite protruding cars, Deal in lois of phoney shears. And Baby Bert, who looks so
chocking,
One day will
rocking.
set the market
As a baby Uncle Nat
Must have been the sweetest
brat..
But what's the use of big boo
eyes
་
such.
If you never get a riso? ho had though And
dimpled knees He'll never get director's foen.
**London Express Servier)
Stop the cold fart
!
with SWANAHIST
Tablew
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Coated
Oile
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