1949-06-15 — Page 4

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Written by "America's most hilarious who-

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SEE UNCLE SAM DRAW HIS GUNS TO HALT THE MARCH OF CRIMEI

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Jan Desan, Margatel Lindsay - Robert Armstrong - In Huge Coltra

TO-MORROW

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UNKNOWNSLAND

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15, 1949.

"Wouldn't surprise me if this was a put-up job-you all gotting flu the same wook as motor transport goes on strike,"

Sitting on

Fence....by

Sweep, "ow do

you think things

are gittin along now?

"Not so dusly," I said,

·

"I see the Paris conference

started off nice and friendly."

"That's right.”

"Accordin to the papers. littig

old Vyshinsky was laughin, and

alec."

NATHANIEL GUBBINS

everybody looked appy and Travels by J. Swift. If the and to give you a true, word jolly"

Which makes F nice rights are still available can you plcture of a cat's living condi- change."

please let me have a reading tions in our cultured Mother Very

copy and your terms for this "Though I don't reckon it was firm?

Russia.. fair of one of them there little old reporters to say ho come Into the conference lookia liko a crocodile."

"It certainly wasn't,"

"I suppose a man can ave a laugh and a joke without hein called a crocodile."

"I ope so."

"After all, there's plenty of $13 that ain't exactly

painting."

"Plenty."

oil

aspersions on pre-

"With no sent company."

"Thank you." "And if you're going to start, callin people crocodiles when they're only tryin to give you a friendly smile, it ain't goin to elp much."

That's right." "Because we don't know what this ere little old Vrshinsky's loughin-at-you

"We certainly don't." "And if you think them there little old Communists love any body but a Communist, you're kiddin yourself."

true."

Dark, bearded medium built, dome-headed, 385-year-old poet and playwright, W. Shakespear,

Interview yealer

sold in, an day:

the

period, 1.703; of malé issue (estimated), 5,800; Eccat-grand- children born of male and female Issue, during the period 1938-43, 8,431.

TO IRAN, THE COLD WAR IS AN OLD STORY

By GEORGE H. PIPAL

HE cold war is nn.old The threat

which" (Lenin'g

T story to Iran, which is government feared disappeared

potentially the richest coun- Soviet Russia is found tho before the decade was out, but try in the Middle East and clause a useful expedient for has a 1,500-mile frontier polley objectives ever since. with Russia.

It was first used in 1941, when Soviet and British troops

Bridgchend to the Persian occupied Iran to use the coun Gulf and Suez Canal, entrance try as an Allied bridge for de- to the Indian Ocean, crossroads

livery of U.S. lend-lenso

of ancient Orient trade routes, supplies to Russla via the Per- fran has faced repeated threnta

alan Gulf. of invasion throughout Its 6,000- year history.

In a world divided into At. lantic and Soviet spheres of in. fluence, Iran today is facing west, but maintaining its indo pendence with stubborn

courage.

In 1840, wecks after a United Nations deadline expired, Soviet troops were persuaded to pull out with a promise of an oll concession. They were con vinced they had left a puppet government in the largest pro- vince, Azerbaijan.

Iran is the only country in

ONE-DAY BATTLE the world which Soviet forces hova .occupled and inter left But Iranian Premier Ahmed without installing

Chavam Es-Sulianeh surprised permanent puppet government. That was the world. His troops reoccupled accomplished by

by Persian

politi-

province after a one- cal skill and the moral pressuro

***** day battle with the pro of the United Nations. But it is

Communist forces. source of more worry than consolation in Teheran.

#

One top Iranian omelot de scribed ita foreign situation follows:

the

Then Ghavum's victually handpicked Majlis (parliament), without a dissenting vole, re- pudiated als promise of an oil as concession to Russia.

When Russia recovered from that "American polley

setback, it resumed the In the offensive by charging that the Middle East is our greatest con- American training mission of 40 officerá was attempting to

cern.

"The

Americans have, rein- transform Irun into a *strategie forced the dam halfway across base threatening the USSR." the river: Greece and Turkey completely unfounded-United

Iran rejected the charges

have been secured by U.S. Press. military aid. This means in- creased pressure on the side of the dar which has not been reinforced-Iran."

INDEPENDENT PATH

Yet, treading its almost inde- pendent path between the two Olga Fluffsky gave D the

spheres, Iran has never made i Fatherland 800 cats, including an official request for American -grandchildren, who destroyed military guarantees. Tho 8,000 mice. Both heroine cats government has hired and pald were decorated with the Order cash for a small U.S. military of Lenin before, they died.

After reading the above, it is hoped that you will discard the false glitter of a

bourgeois economy -offered by the American cat, Manhattan Mou

mission to train its troops and plus material on credit. gendarmerie, and obtained sur- token training, however, has in-

That

creased the nominal threat of

Russian invasion and occupa-

tion.

GARLIC ON THE NOGGIN

##

By JOHN ROSENBURG MEN who are worried about

down

falling hair should cut their before-dinner

on

"A

I see the cat Manhaken Mou- ser, and the degenerate dogs and ser mentions the luxury ash Cannibals, governing a crum-

Iran has long been 'harassed by the hot and cold wars of Martinis, rub a little garlic on cans of New York, where a cat bling Fascist State.

Buccessive Russian governments their noggins and exercise may find sardine tins half full You are offcially invited to After the Bolsheviks game to regularly. of sardines, discarded chops, visit our glorious Mother Russia power, they signed a treaty of

That is part of the advice half-eaten steaks, and

meaty and learn, at first hand, what friendship with Iran, promising proffered by Florence M. Doyle, chicken bones.

true freedom and democracy to end forever the

New York scalp specialist. imperialist are like under the benevolent aggression of the Czars.

"Heavy drinking and dietary In Russia this would be re- and watchful eye of our great. But the treaty of 1921 con- excesses of almost any kind aro

leader, Joseph Stalin, and histained a trick clause.

apt to cause a person to Jose garded as "criminal waste and kindly commissars...

It provided that the Soviet his hair" Miss Doyle said. sabotage by enemies of the

have the diet deficiency, government "thall

on the other people. Those responsible would

right to take its troops into hand, also may be sent to the Siberian mines.

Mogsky, Cat Commissar.

Persian territory in order to take for such a condition,sponsible

military

She said if a person expect- Lottie has air-mailed a copy the interests of self-defence" ed to keep his hair, he must stay of the letter to Manhattan Mau-should a White Russian counter-in-good physical condition.

"This rule is particularly im- portant for men who live seden- tary lives," afio said. "I find that the less active a person is the more inclined he is to bald-

In glorious Mother Russia there is nothing in the ash cans

"O that I, like J. Swift, could have my copyright defended by such sweet gentlemen, as these.

"For, in truth, they are no more ignorant than the little mousy men who peer and pry into the work I have done with my hand and brain and make a mockery of it; who change the lines hammered and shoped to but ash. beauty on the anvil of my mind with sweating brow, or leave them out to make some hideous wound In the pattern of my poetry, who stain.mino-honour. with Innuendos and say, How Mouser refers to "swell"diamės" could he have written this and on Broadway, to your "gwell written that? And this, too, chassis,” and calls you his about the Courts of kings? Was "honey cat" and "sugar puss.") he not a butcher's boy?"

I see that the cat 'Manhattan

In Russia, such terms would

luvaduck, they don't "To such dull minds without seem to love theirselves very imagination there is no under be regarded as vulgar and bour- much if you can judge by these standing imagination in geols. Any

"Go on?"

of

"

ent using them

sor.

(Signed)

necessary

measures

---(London Express Service)

revolutionary asserable. Iranian soil.

• n

ALL-OUT WAR OF FILMS IS COMING

By FREDERICK COOK

you can't open an American be the ones to do all the giv-

best."

nt

Cleanliness Needed

Miss Doyle sald the condition of the scalp was even more im- portant than that of the body,

"The scalp must be kept clears

all times,"

"she said. "How- ever, it is not wise to wash the hair more than once every two ere purges. So you can't ex- "others; still less understanding would be instructed to appear

weeks. Water is bad for the pect them to love a little old If a poor poet was of slowly before the Commissar of Cul-

NEW YORK. no reason at all why we should hair and scalp. When washing. capitalist like you."

birth and humble man of no ture, who would point out that

the hate, use a good shampoo- "Like me?"

education.

the words "honey" and "sugar” paper these days, from the Ing.

and not ordinary face soop." "The

people they're only

To keep the scalp from he- properly fond of is workin men "So they must needs call me a must be used only when refer- Hollywood Reporter to Broad-

Hollywood's way's own Variety and the stold'

plight is in coming dry, she advocated the like meself."

common cheat now I am dead ring to the foods honey and old Wall Street Journal, with essence just the same as Den- use of olive or castor oil, and defenceless, belleving

Dr. the harm's

Shepherds Bush. "In most cases," she would take another's work and sugar, and not used to describe out finding stories about

Holly-tinued, "a man's hairline begins put my name to it; and give the one's personal appreciation of a pitiful plight of British Dim la Studios are closing in

wood too. A dustry.

thousand people to recede because of lack of they she cat's charms. credit of my fancy to one

are on relief. The whole star-stimulation at the roots of the think should have it-Bacon, a

Bitter tears are being If this kindly warning

shed spangled machine is grinding hair. To avold this, the scalp the Court, an gentleman of

should be vigorously massaged educated man, one of their own ignored, the offending cat is sent for the people out of work and slower and slower.

every day. The use of certain: kind."

to a concentration camp in the the failure of our flims to make

with stimulants will help too. Ono Arctic Circle (rations one small

me tonight and you will find the of the best stimulants I know cod's head a month) to cool his I am no authority on the dif position is exactly the same as of is. garlic. It can be pur- ardour, and to prevent him con- ferent types of tears, but I it was a couple of years ago. chased in processed form, com..

that Here and there a fine American pletely deodorised."! - taminating cats who have ac- have a distinct feeling

maln a slightly crocodile Alm. But in

screens of cepted without question the cul- there is

quality about some of these. ail the choice houses filed with fured Soviet way of life.

remakes and with revivals of

little

"And like them there old German rallway strikers," said the Sweep. "Cor sufferin archbishops, they give them love all

right-with tommy

guns.

"They did an all."

"That's why they never

дус

no strikes in Russia. If you drop your plek and shovel over there you've ad it."

"You ave on all."

"So don't you start talkin to

me about Karl Marx."

"I neve ave."

"And so far as this ere con ference is

is concerned, keep your

fingers crossed."

"All right."

"The skin orf your

nase,

sald the Sweep.

"The skin, orf yourn,"

W. Shakespear,

Esq.

Paws over The Curtain

OTTIE the cat has received the following letter from a correspondent, Russian. Commissar Mogsky.

Comrade,

Cat

From its agents in tho United States of America the Politbureau has obtained details of correspondence which has passed recently between you and the American cat, Manhat- tan Mauser.

money.

tremendous ·

'Walk down Broadway

Baldness Increasing

con-

In Russia, a shio cat is not) Could it be just a coincidence years-old pictures that were Miss Doyle said that baldness: admired for her chassis, but that on the eve of top-level mediocre even when they were often was caused by flness, eye- for her kitten output and the talks in Washington between now.

strain, worry, overwork and number of mico caught in a our Mr Rank, Sir Alexander

said hats hypertension. 'She' Korda and Sir Henry French, You will still have to search unless they were very Ught, did year.

suddenly being over- for the British films. They are not affect hair growth we ard whelmed by a tide of solicitude hidden away in the little "holes

She said baldness is à moro for British movies?...

in the wall, the arty theatres frequent today than ever before. seating a few hundred, or It is These stories, Broadway in suburban houses a 10s, taxi-ridemen in their early 20s, us com

now common among Among our great Russlan sho cats were Hereine of the Soviet siders belleve, all add up to ale away on a vet night."

pared to 30 a generation ago." Union, Katinka Pusskin, and thing: the most

Even Radio City Music: Hail Occupation and climate also- Heroine of the Soviet Union, effort is going to be made to IN Parilament it was stateä As Manhattan Mouser's let Olga Fluffsky.

bring us to smash that quota, has been running a remake of affect the hairline, she said. She that Macrallian, the tera have no doubt given. you

get those frozen pounds thawed "Little Women." But there is observed that baldness ranked: publishers, had received the fol- some false Impressions of the To quote from vital statis-out, open wide our doors to no room along the big street for this way among various · Job.

holders: lowing letter from the copyright luxury living conditions of catetics already published:

American films and give as "Beátt of the Antarctic/

But our films are still doing section of the Central Office of in a rapidly disintegrating - Information:

capitalist State controlled by

Kittens born to Katinka Puss- The above-named publishers a y nie al

To this and Hollywood will "Red Shoes!' is, now fifth on the and degenerate in during the period 1934-43, are interested in the Polish lan- oligarchy, I have been instruct 132; grandchildren born of turn on everything. But the list of box-offied best-sellers in

there is 22 cities. guageRghts for Gulliver's ed to correct those impressions female issue during the sume fact of the matter is

NANCY

Cold Proposition

I'M RAISING

FROZEN

FOODS

THIS

PEAS

YEAR

ittle as possible in return. all right outside New York

By Ernie Bushmiller

3.

bif

•INSECT SPRAY

WITH DOT

1. Accountants.

2. Aeroplanë pliată.

9. Musiciansta

4: Newspapermen.

5. Professional athioles.

When there's bir Ineedn't use my fisi!

TO-MORROW

"GOOD SAM”

MAKOHE NAN KANG CO

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