1947-12-31 — Page 2

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31, 1947,

KINGS

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FIESTA

ESTHER WILLIAMS

1

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CARROLL ASTOR-BONANOVA

AND INTRODUCING

RICARDO

MONTALBAN

tHe's the screw's new za

romantic sensation)

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She played a -dancerous

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TO-MORROW

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NEW YEAR ATTRACTION: "FIESTA”

*** Five minutes before It's time to ring in the New Year let's have one of the little old unofficial strikes.”

Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:

Sitting on Fence

This is the second in the series of profound articles dealing with the Enslavement of Modern Man by Ladies Women. Children and Dogs. and Gentlemen (and chlidren, and dogs, too, if they like), N. Gubbins, Esq., presents How To Endure Chil dren.

HE days when children

were seen and not heard, - or heard once and socked hard, are over.

These are the days when fathers are seen and not heard. It won't be long before they're Bocked by their sons and daugh- ters if they don't behave them

selves.

Already they are verbally socked by women if they offer any criticism of their children,

by NATHANIEL GUBBINS

think Albert's gone mad?"

responsible for a lot, but do you

Little Eric will know about this letter (they know everything), and from that moment he will also know he has got you just where he wants you.

Afternoon

little

to

RUSSIA UNLIKELY TO GIVE CHINESE REDS ALL-OUT AID

BY MILES W. VAUGHN

COVIET Rusala is not likely to time to risk an all-out conflict with Intervene in force to assist the the United States for the control of Chinese Communists In Manchuria Eastern Asia. And tho control of.. and North Chinu should the United Eastern Asia, it is emphasised, is of precisely what is at stake-just as it States announce a programme

at stake when Japan reized extensive military assistance to the Manchurin and developed it as a

Nanking Government designed to

Was

ན

smash the Chinese Red troops. This bare for aggression In China Proper is the opinion

on of high American and end Southeast Asia.

whom I have with

Russia, in the opinion of

the Chinese officials

same officials, still lacks most of the talked recently.

It is generally agreed that the essentials for modern warfare. Hor Russians

have been giving the experts may possibly have

limited theoretical knowledge of how Chinese Communists only military assistance thus far, and make the atomic bomb, but they because Russia is not in a position at this cannot actually make one

of the lack of a vast number of re- sources necessary. for such a pro- Ject.....

the

The only

grand- way, except father's way, of getting him to bed without more than one howl, in for you to be a horse again, this time up the stairs..

But first of all he must be allowed

his genius. press

you didn't know it, but every little boy born these days is a genlus. That is to say, no or If they physically sock the woman and the children, which is the ONE of the places where dinary little boys are born at any

time in Great Britain, Eric wants you is in the normal, natural thing to do, they NE are hauled before a magistrate who

In that position you can be used socks them for a fine or 14 days or chair after Sunday dinner. both with a lot of silly

as something to all on; something thrown in.

to kick, something to wipe sticky noses) on, and fingers (and

You can also be used as a mount- something to bounce a ball against,

the scenery). horse, or a punching tain, a small scenic railway (without

bag,

remarks

same Lirt-

Years inter it may be the magistrate who sentences the socked child, now a young hooligan,

to 14 days or more.

u

a

even

arm-

If the wretched father is still alive he will be blamed and severely censured by this magistrate for not

Of course, your grandfather would bringing his children up properly.

So

see that whereas have put up with this for about ten you can

maxis- seconds, if he put up with it at all. mothers and children and trates have rights (and even dogs After that there would have been have some) fathers have no rights another smack, another yelp, and llence for the rest of the afternoon.

* *

at all.

The purpose of this article is to show you how to make the best of your miserable condition.

Morning

*

it

ex-

And if you dare to suggest that little Eric is an ordinary fille boy, and a rather plain one at that, then you are an unnatural father, taking a sadistic pleasure in criticising your

Hitler children. A

in the

own

home, in fact.

Expression

Therefore he must be allowed to LITTLE Eric may be a great artisi.

up he may grow give free expression to his talents

Otherwise before he goes to bed. raving lunatle, which seems likely to you in any case.

#

So you mustn't mind if little Erle!

some

to

Russia has no navy worth men- tioning, and it is recalled that no great wars were, aver won without control of the sea. Her industrial establishment is still more of nigmy compared with that of United States. Her communications system in Siberia la utterly

any to supply

great number of troops in Manchuria and North China provinces.

Inadequate

the

It is recalled that Russia retreat- Dickens ruins your fountain pened and entered into neutrality and writing deathless prose over every non-aggression agreements when thing, with his tongue banging out she faced the threat of superior and breathing heavily through his military might from Germany and

Japan, and it is believed that Kus

nose.

faces superior military United States and

But the commonest form of geniussia will again retreat if she among little boys, and the hardest the threat of a

force from the China. to bear, is the musical genius.

Another Mozart, In fact. Why Mozart? Why Dickens? They names that come easily to the mind if your knowledge of Uterature and music is limited,

are

:

Jap Equipment THE Russians unquestionably have THE

supplied the Chinese Communist army great quantities of arms and other military and Little Dickenses are angels com- ammunition

only supplies surrendered to them by the Manchuria and North noise a little Dickens will make is Japanese in pared to little Mozarts. The

a scratching pen and Korea, her Informants stated, and it men-is believed that they are still run- Bovlet the noise of

ning in limited supplies on the heavy breathing already tighed.

ships plying between Vladivostok of A little Mozart will bang the hell and the Soviet-controlled port cut of your plano for hours on end. Dairen, in South Manchuria.

Who And who are you to stop it? are you to rob

musical genius?

It is also useless to point out to supplies or anybody who will listen that the chances of Little Eric becoming an- other Mozart are about a thousand million to one, and why should you suffer for a chance like that?

You will be told that you have some endistic streak in you which makes you hate your children for being clever. A Hitler in the home,

In fact.

M

that

the world of a They have not been giving the Chinese Communists, however, any equipment which may

Russia It is recognised be needed by Rusalan-armed forces.

United propaganda barrage if the would, of course, start a tremendous programme States announced any

China of extensive military aki to China, but the United States and would be in an excellent position to

could stress, reply, They other things, the fact that utterly Ignored those parts of

*

agreement designed to

among Russia

the

keep

that

Sian treaty of 1945 on the

a

You might as well hear what the Manchurin open to all notions, judge is going to say about you in Russia still maintains an iron cur- quite 20 years' Ume as he passes judgment tain around the South Manchurian flouted provisions of the on unrepressed Little Fric, the ex-port of Dairen, and that Russla re- He must be allowed to draw all genius, found guilty of robbery with

that pretext But you? You must, enduré

over everything for as long as he violence.

This is what the judge is going to obviously flimsy private during little Eric's picasure unless

"inte of war", still existed between your you want to be considered a sadist likes over books.

"A Hitler papers if you're fool enough to carry say

consider it my public duly to Japan and the Allies. or a homicidal maniac.

any in your pockets, the newspaper

Bluff and Bluster in the home" is the. favourite

you hoped you might be allowed to point out that if the father of the to read the pression,

read

over the prisoner had exercised his proper after supper, even

authority during the formative yearsOME informants suggested that the MAYBE you want

For the same reason you must,

States and Chinn start paper on Sunday morning? Your father read the paper. So did-your-without protest, have your eyes walls.

"another Dickens." man would not be here-today. I grandfather and probably his father forcibly opened if you try to sleep.Or-little-Erle may be a treat of youth this unfortunate young Einde

Soviet Union in the against the

formal before him.

Your Roughly about 100,000 little boys consider the father to be more guilty an immediate diplomatic offensive, nostrils ("Fingers Up

United Nations by Aling the same sticky fingers pushed up writer, usually

Not mum's fault after all, sce?"

declaration with the UN that Rus- consti- Nose" is a favourite game among are born "another Dickens" almost than the son."

sia's actions if Monchurin little Eries), and maybe your ears every year..

lute "a threat to peace." pulled like a couple of bell ropes.

Almost certainly your shoes will

But they lived in the days before

ed

your nos

it was discovered that children must have free expression; the days be tore every housemaid had heard about psycho-analysis and babbled about complexes; the days before be united and your socks removed. it was believed that

child You will be lucky, wasn't allowed to smash everything trousers on by tea-time. on the breakfast table it would grow up into an inhibited lunatic, determined to smash everything in

the world.

When your grandfather

wanled

that

at you.

to have

your

as

he reaches

BY THE WAY

by Beachcomber

Russia is guilty of the "gravest and most flagrant violations of her to solemn privileges, with regard Monchuria," one official said. "She is wide open for a diplomatic offen- sive in the United Nations.”

military 'An American

expert,

and

its

Ten-lime will be much the same as breakfast-time except that you

the won't be trying to read the paper,

Sergeant with "If," sald J.P., You will have given that up

MAJOR ROLLING,

laborious patience in his voles, if, MA tropeless.

munitions But in order that little Eric may dashed into the Waggling it, I was to investigate every queer emphasising that the United States to read the paper he read the paper.

wanting to throw Parva police station yesterday noise in these parts I'd die of ex-now has, adequate up Brow If anybody smashed anything at not

command to outfit 15 the breakfast table there were a bombs at somebody he will have to morning in a state of great haustion in four days. As for mes other supplies in possession of

sages from the statterspear, they Far East couple of sharp cracks, a couple of throw buns at you,

to excitement, And yelps, and dead silence.

in 'case he might want

He reported that, while gathering aren't no concern of the police that Chinese divisions at once, estimated quick Your grandfather went on read- shoot someone when ing the paper.

manhood he will have to work it seaweed among the rocics on the I can see of. But to make you easy, that the Chinese Communist armed assemble men and materials to in- queer sounds, muffled and investigation-but it must be private campaign long before Russia could do With you it will be entirely out of his system by firing bread shore near Blackdion Point, he had sir, I will now conduct a private in- forces could be crushed in a

heard

tervene, even if she wanted to different,

fact despite the

pellets crockery is now much more expen- Never at his mum, of course. She distinct, like voices under the earth. We don't want no panic."

a message to Literary causerie sive and hard to come by.

sits there laughing. Little Eric was He concluded that the Moonbeam

What Waggling Parva. When your small son (shall we always full of fun. Just like her was trying to send

WORD or two misplaced or used it is belleved stopy Sergeant, call the little beast Eric?)-when funny father.

The A wrongly," says an article about tlon in the Far East is based on your small con wants to express his

How true!, horrid nature by banging his spoon again (this time on your hands and who had not heard a

were intermittent, entire passage.". on the porridge plate until he breaka knees), or a bear, or even a lion with Major repeated his story. He said speaking and writing, "may mar an policy of "bluff and "bluster," with

Sound it, you mustn't do anything about

a proper roar, if your tonails will that the

and he would not swear that they thus: though you are in the stand it. it, even

In the quieter moments of the boisterousness .at were not coming from the upper air. Unrestricted

said Sergeant Bulkey arta when the voice should be soft middle of one of those illuminating

was more Uke It these games will prevent your son leading articles.

and appealing, and hardly heard growing up into a jockey, a zoo-

Enid the Major above the murmuring orchestra, she keeper looking after the bears, or a human voices,"

"Boys in the Blacklion caves" said showed an unfortunate tendency to the Sergeant. "I looked in the yell like a stevedore. Or thus: caves," said the Major. "There was nobody there."

*

After tea you

Hon tamer.

must be a horse charge?" asked the steepsord.

Evening

You must give up reading the give up eating paper and maybe throws knives and forks on the door. your, breakfast, too, while Eric

to Sergeant Bulkey in action If by any chance your repressed N grandfather's time (sorry

bring the old man up again) manhood asserts Itself and you smack to Erle, then your wife little boys went to bed after tea. will think you have lost your reason. But not itile Erie.

That very evening, she will write If little Erie goce to bed too early he can't sleep and therefore howls. to her mother:-

If he goes to bed too late he is ever- tired and howls just the same.

"Albert (that's you) hit Eric to- day. Of course, I know the war's

NANCY

I'M

Food for Thought

YOU'RE HUNGRY ALWAYS HUNGRY

the

So,

that Russia's posi-

ㄩ

As very little, real military force to support it in the event of a show- down-United Press.

"Nervous Frog"

While one respects his opinions and the sincerity with which he expresses them, one has to admit

-

A "nervous" frog with orange- tid that he is an accursed foot to try coloured skin is among the London

Zoo's new acquisitions from write at all. Or thus: to

Much as he respected the honour- Moscow. Zoo. ARE you hinting that there's A been

murder?" asked able Member, he continued, and

The keepers say that it is so rer admiration for him, he felt bound to vous among strangers that it les Sergeant Bulkey, whose brain was though he yielded to none in his working alowly,

"I am not," sald lie Major. "But observe that a dirtier rat never down, folds its front legs and fḍigns

death-Associated Press. crawled the floor of the House. queer noises need Investigating."

By Ernie Bushmille-

TRY TO THINK OF SOMETHING BESIDES

FOOD

LET'S DROP

ESSAYS

HOW

.

INTO THE LIBRARY FOR A

WHILE

BACON

I'M HUNGRY

AGAIN

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as black Velvet!

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