THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31, 1947,
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FIESTA
ESTHER WILLIAMS
1
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NEW YEAR ATTRACTION: "FIESTA”
*** Five minutes before It's time to ring in the New Year let's have one of the little old unofficial strikes.”
Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:
Sitting on Fence
This is the second in the series of profound articles dealing with the Enslavement of Modern Man by Ladies Women. Children and Dogs. and Gentlemen (and chlidren, and dogs, too, if they like), N. Gubbins, Esq., presents How To Endure Chil dren.
HE days when children
were seen and not heard, - or heard once and socked hard, are over.
These are the days when fathers are seen and not heard. It won't be long before they're Bocked by their sons and daugh- ters if they don't behave them
selves.
Already they are verbally socked by women if they offer any criticism of their children,
by NATHANIEL GUBBINS
think Albert's gone mad?"
responsible for a lot, but do you
Little Eric will know about this letter (they know everything), and from that moment he will also know he has got you just where he wants you.
Afternoon
little
to
RUSSIA UNLIKELY TO GIVE CHINESE REDS ALL-OUT AID
BY MILES W. VAUGHN
COVIET Rusala is not likely to time to risk an all-out conflict with Intervene in force to assist the the United States for the control of Chinese Communists In Manchuria Eastern Asia. And tho control of.. and North Chinu should the United Eastern Asia, it is emphasised, is of precisely what is at stake-just as it States announce a programme
at stake when Japan reized extensive military assistance to the Manchurin and developed it as a
Nanking Government designed to
Was
ན
smash the Chinese Red troops. This bare for aggression In China Proper is the opinion
on of high American and end Southeast Asia.
whom I have with
Russia, in the opinion of
the Chinese officials
same officials, still lacks most of the talked recently.
It is generally agreed that the essentials for modern warfare. Hor Russians
have been giving the experts may possibly have
limited theoretical knowledge of how Chinese Communists only military assistance thus far, and make the atomic bomb, but they because Russia is not in a position at this cannot actually make one
of the lack of a vast number of re- sources necessary. for such a pro- Ject.....
the
The only
grand- way, except father's way, of getting him to bed without more than one howl, in for you to be a horse again, this time up the stairs..
But first of all he must be allowed
his genius. press
you didn't know it, but every little boy born these days is a genlus. That is to say, no or If they physically sock the woman and the children, which is the ONE of the places where dinary little boys are born at any
time in Great Britain, Eric wants you is in the normal, natural thing to do, they NE are hauled before a magistrate who
In that position you can be used socks them for a fine or 14 days or chair after Sunday dinner. both with a lot of silly
as something to all on; something thrown in.
to kick, something to wipe sticky noses) on, and fingers (and
You can also be used as a mount- something to bounce a ball against,
the scenery). horse, or a punching tain, a small scenic railway (without
bag,
remarks
same Lirt-
Years inter it may be the magistrate who sentences the socked child, now a young hooligan,
to 14 days or more.
u
a
even
arm-
If the wretched father is still alive he will be blamed and severely censured by this magistrate for not
Of course, your grandfather would bringing his children up properly.
So
see that whereas have put up with this for about ten you can
maxis- seconds, if he put up with it at all. mothers and children and trates have rights (and even dogs After that there would have been have some) fathers have no rights another smack, another yelp, and llence for the rest of the afternoon.
* *
at all.
The purpose of this article is to show you how to make the best of your miserable condition.
Morning
*
it
ex-
And if you dare to suggest that little Eric is an ordinary fille boy, and a rather plain one at that, then you are an unnatural father, taking a sadistic pleasure in criticising your
Hitler children. A
in the
own
home, in fact.
Expression
Therefore he must be allowed to LITTLE Eric may be a great artisi.
up he may grow give free expression to his talents
Otherwise before he goes to bed. raving lunatle, which seems likely to you in any case.
#
So you mustn't mind if little Erle!
some
to
Russia has no navy worth men- tioning, and it is recalled that no great wars were, aver won without control of the sea. Her industrial establishment is still more of nigmy compared with that of United States. Her communications system in Siberia la utterly
any to supply
great number of troops in Manchuria and North China provinces.
Inadequate
the
It is recalled that Russia retreat- Dickens ruins your fountain pened and entered into neutrality and writing deathless prose over every non-aggression agreements when thing, with his tongue banging out she faced the threat of superior and breathing heavily through his military might from Germany and
Japan, and it is believed that Kus
nose.
faces superior military United States and
But the commonest form of geniussia will again retreat if she among little boys, and the hardest the threat of a
force from the China. to bear, is the musical genius.
Another Mozart, In fact. Why Mozart? Why Dickens? They names that come easily to the mind if your knowledge of Uterature and music is limited,
are
:
Jap Equipment THE Russians unquestionably have THE
supplied the Chinese Communist army great quantities of arms and other military and Little Dickenses are angels com- ammunition
only supplies surrendered to them by the Manchuria and North noise a little Dickens will make is Japanese in pared to little Mozarts. The
a scratching pen and Korea, her Informants stated, and it men-is believed that they are still run- Bovlet the noise of
ning in limited supplies on the heavy breathing already tighed.
ships plying between Vladivostok of A little Mozart will bang the hell and the Soviet-controlled port cut of your plano for hours on end. Dairen, in South Manchuria.
Who And who are you to stop it? are you to rob
musical genius?
It is also useless to point out to supplies or anybody who will listen that the chances of Little Eric becoming an- other Mozart are about a thousand million to one, and why should you suffer for a chance like that?
You will be told that you have some endistic streak in you which makes you hate your children for being clever. A Hitler in the home,
In fact.
M
that
the world of a They have not been giving the Chinese Communists, however, any equipment which may
Russia It is recognised be needed by Rusalan-armed forces.
United propaganda barrage if the would, of course, start a tremendous programme States announced any
China of extensive military aki to China, but the United States and would be in an excellent position to
could stress, reply, They other things, the fact that utterly Ignored those parts of
*
agreement designed to
among Russia
the
keep
that
Sian treaty of 1945 on the
a
You might as well hear what the Manchurin open to all notions, judge is going to say about you in Russia still maintains an iron cur- quite 20 years' Ume as he passes judgment tain around the South Manchurian flouted provisions of the on unrepressed Little Fric, the ex-port of Dairen, and that Russla re- He must be allowed to draw all genius, found guilty of robbery with
that pretext But you? You must, enduré
over everything for as long as he violence.
This is what the judge is going to obviously flimsy private during little Eric's picasure unless
"inte of war", still existed between your you want to be considered a sadist likes over books.
"A Hitler papers if you're fool enough to carry say
consider it my public duly to Japan and the Allies. or a homicidal maniac.
any in your pockets, the newspaper
Bluff and Bluster in the home" is the. favourite
you hoped you might be allowed to point out that if the father of the to read the pression,
read
over the prisoner had exercised his proper after supper, even
authority during the formative yearsOME informants suggested that the MAYBE you want
For the same reason you must,
States and Chinn start paper on Sunday morning? Your father read the paper. So did-your-without protest, have your eyes walls.
"another Dickens." man would not be here-today. I grandfather and probably his father forcibly opened if you try to sleep.Or-little-Erle may be a treat of youth this unfortunate young Einde
Soviet Union in the against the
formal before him.
Your Roughly about 100,000 little boys consider the father to be more guilty an immediate diplomatic offensive, nostrils ("Fingers Up
United Nations by Aling the same sticky fingers pushed up writer, usually
Not mum's fault after all, sce?"
declaration with the UN that Rus- consti- Nose" is a favourite game among are born "another Dickens" almost than the son."
sia's actions if Monchurin little Eries), and maybe your ears every year..
lute "a threat to peace." pulled like a couple of bell ropes.
Almost certainly your shoes will
But they lived in the days before
ed
your nos
it was discovered that children must have free expression; the days be tore every housemaid had heard about psycho-analysis and babbled about complexes; the days before be united and your socks removed. it was believed that
child You will be lucky, wasn't allowed to smash everything trousers on by tea-time. on the breakfast table it would grow up into an inhibited lunatic, determined to smash everything in
the world.
When your grandfather
wanled
that
at you.
to have
your
as
he reaches
BY THE WAY
by Beachcomber
Russia is guilty of the "gravest and most flagrant violations of her to solemn privileges, with regard Monchuria," one official said. "She is wide open for a diplomatic offen- sive in the United Nations.”
military 'An American
expert,
and
its
Ten-lime will be much the same as breakfast-time except that you
the won't be trying to read the paper,
Sergeant with "If," sald J.P., You will have given that up
MAJOR ROLLING,
laborious patience in his voles, if, MA tropeless.
munitions But in order that little Eric may dashed into the Waggling it, I was to investigate every queer emphasising that the United States to read the paper he read the paper.
wanting to throw Parva police station yesterday noise in these parts I'd die of ex-now has, adequate up Brow If anybody smashed anything at not
command to outfit 15 the breakfast table there were a bombs at somebody he will have to morning in a state of great haustion in four days. As for mes other supplies in possession of
sages from the statterspear, they Far East couple of sharp cracks, a couple of throw buns at you,
to excitement, And yelps, and dead silence.
in 'case he might want
He reported that, while gathering aren't no concern of the police that Chinese divisions at once, estimated quick Your grandfather went on read- shoot someone when ing the paper.
manhood he will have to work it seaweed among the rocics on the I can see of. But to make you easy, that the Chinese Communist armed assemble men and materials to in- queer sounds, muffled and investigation-but it must be private campaign long before Russia could do With you it will be entirely out of his system by firing bread shore near Blackdion Point, he had sir, I will now conduct a private in- forces could be crushed in a
heard
tervene, even if she wanted to different,
fact despite the
pellets crockery is now much more expen- Never at his mum, of course. She distinct, like voices under the earth. We don't want no panic."
a message to Literary causerie sive and hard to come by.
sits there laughing. Little Eric was He concluded that the Moonbeam
What Waggling Parva. When your small son (shall we always full of fun. Just like her was trying to send
WORD or two misplaced or used it is belleved stopy Sergeant, call the little beast Eric?)-when funny father.
The A wrongly," says an article about tlon in the Far East is based on your small con wants to express his
How true!, horrid nature by banging his spoon again (this time on your hands and who had not heard a
were intermittent, entire passage.". on the porridge plate until he breaka knees), or a bear, or even a lion with Major repeated his story. He said speaking and writing, "may mar an policy of "bluff and "bluster," with
Sound it, you mustn't do anything about
a proper roar, if your tonails will that the
and he would not swear that they thus: though you are in the stand it. it, even
In the quieter moments of the boisterousness .at were not coming from the upper air. Unrestricted
said Sergeant Bulkey arta when the voice should be soft middle of one of those illuminating
was more Uke It these games will prevent your son leading articles.
and appealing, and hardly heard growing up into a jockey, a zoo-
Enid the Major above the murmuring orchestra, she keeper looking after the bears, or a human voices,"
"Boys in the Blacklion caves" said showed an unfortunate tendency to the Sergeant. "I looked in the yell like a stevedore. Or thus: caves," said the Major. "There was nobody there."
*
After tea you
Hon tamer.
must be a horse charge?" asked the steepsord.
Evening
You must give up reading the give up eating paper and maybe throws knives and forks on the door. your, breakfast, too, while Eric
to Sergeant Bulkey in action If by any chance your repressed N grandfather's time (sorry
bring the old man up again) manhood asserts Itself and you smack to Erle, then your wife little boys went to bed after tea. will think you have lost your reason. But not itile Erie.
That very evening, she will write If little Erie goce to bed too early he can't sleep and therefore howls. to her mother:-
If he goes to bed too late he is ever- tired and howls just the same.
"Albert (that's you) hit Eric to- day. Of course, I know the war's
NANCY
I'M
Food for Thought
YOU'RE HUNGRY ALWAYS HUNGRY
the
So,
that Russia's posi-
ㄩ
As very little, real military force to support it in the event of a show- down-United Press.
"Nervous Frog"
While one respects his opinions and the sincerity with which he expresses them, one has to admit
-
A "nervous" frog with orange- tid that he is an accursed foot to try coloured skin is among the London
Zoo's new acquisitions from write at all. Or thus: to
Much as he respected the honour- Moscow. Zoo. ARE you hinting that there's A been
murder?" asked able Member, he continued, and
The keepers say that it is so rer admiration for him, he felt bound to vous among strangers that it les Sergeant Bulkey, whose brain was though he yielded to none in his working alowly,
"I am not," sald lie Major. "But observe that a dirtier rat never down, folds its front legs and fḍigns
death-Associated Press. crawled the floor of the House. queer noises need Investigating."
By Ernie Bushmille-
TRY TO THINK OF SOMETHING BESIDES
FOOD
LET'S DROP
ESSAYS
HOW
.
INTO THE LIBRARY FOR A
WHILE
BACON
I'M HUNGRY
AGAIN
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