1941-09-13 — Page 9

Saturday,

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH September 13, 1941,

WEEK-END WIT

LOST CONTROL

"Did you say you knew a girl wito

HAD NOT TRIED

Old Lady: "Excuse me, but do lost her, Job because of stomach those tattoo marks wash off?" trouble?"

"You. She was an oriental dancer,

and lust control of it."

•

[

FIVE MINUTE VIEW

Old Tar: "I can't say, lady"

*

MAKING AN EFFORT

DEFINITION

A spinster is one who knows all the answers but us never been asked the questions.

•

THE REASON WITY

"I suppose It was financial and Sergeant: "You'd be n better domestic troubles that started, you

"I see that soldier boy friend of soldier," mlad, if you dranis less drinking?" mine for only about five minutes beer." every night."

"Thero" Isn't much fun in that, fa thero?"

"No, but I can't expect him to turn out the lights any quiciter."

"No, it was this way: once I saw a microscopo pieture of n drop

Private: "I'm reducing it now, water." sergeant, Em cutting out the Arst two pinis in the evening, and start- ing on the third."

"If we could only get a contract from the Government to collect the income tax."

BOOKS:

Nazi Long War Plans

IT in cormonly known how that Far East correspondent, Author of Hitler began his World War long be. "Red Star Over China," and "The fore 1930, and it was to be a World Battle for Asia, and Ellot Janeway, War.

Associate editor of "Time."-have each written a cheater in "SMASH HIT-

It began with order books, caplon- LER'S INTERNATIONALE. THE age, political intrigues, false friend- STRATEGY OF A FOLITICAL

D

WHEN TO START'

of

A wife should not worry when her husband is seen with another woman-it's when they're not seen she should begin to worry.

SOMETHING WANTED Our road engineers are performing miracles, but they are still building reads that do not curve when some drivers do.

•

•

NOT SO CRAZY

Visitor (at asylum): "Do you have to keep the women inmates separated from the men?"

Attendant: "Sure. The people here aren't so crazy as you think."

ANOTHER DEFINITION

A wedding is a funeral where you enn smell your own flowers.

TACTFUL

"Who gave the bride away?"

"I could have, but I kept my mouth shut."

DO IT YOURSELF

He was sitting on the couch with a French girl in a draughty room,

Je t'adore!" he whispered softly. "Don't be Inzy. Shut it yourself" replied the mademoiselle.

HIS ERROR

Wife: "I was a fool when I mar- rled you."

Husband: "I guess you were, but I was so infatuated at the time that I didn't notice it."

•

GETTING TOO BIG

Assistant: So you had to fire that conceited midget?

Manager: Yes, he was getting too big for his job.

*

16

SURPRISED

"I surprised my wife under un- usual circumstances last night,"

"When another man was kissing her?"

"No, when I waɛ.”

•

NO ACCOUNT "Have you an account with us, madam?"

"No, but I wish to see your manager."

"Lady of no account to see you, sir," announced the assistant to the manager.

.

IIS CHOICE

She didn't know which of the two

ships, all designed to bring unrest, OFFENSIVE AGAINST THE AXIS," young men to marry, so she asked uncertainty and disloyalty into the (OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS). Cather. countries that were to fall before They appear to

him, and they began telling, one by thes

Intimately "Jack is awfully handsome, but of the "Brown Bill is very steady," she said.

Dad did not hesitate. "Take Bill."

Internationale."

e many rami They know the di-

know

one, according to plan."

War was, but the final outward vlousness of the political and psycho-he said, "he's the one that really stroke, proving the inward victory logical warfare of the Axis pow

powers. loves you." It Americans were the last to realise They tell, each from his own post- "How do you know?" queried

because of that false sense of tion, what it is and how.to.incet.it. Mavis,.surprised.. which nearly conquered The "ensy going" people of the "Because I've Britain, they are now awake to all its western world will first be startled, money from him for the last devious realities.

then roused to action by the revela-monthie, ond he still comes three Three journalists, Edmund Taylor, tlon-it is hoped.

times a week,' sald the old man a Parls correspondent; Edgar Snow, a

\J. W. W. nowingly,

been borrowing

six

CONTRACT How to Play

BRIDGE

AND

How to Win

-By JOSEPHINE CULBERTSON-

"Preference" Bidding

Preference bidding requires deft ably solid multir North could de- and discriminating handling. The ilver as much as the spade quern beginner learns that when partner and another entry there would be a hag bid two suits be must show which good play for game.

he prefers, and when he has no real The crux of this situation was that preference, should return to the first North knew very well he had shaded same suit. This is all very well, as his notrump response; int South ground work, but the matter is not might be counting him for a shade nearly cut and dried enough to be more and that, consequently. there covered by a rigid rule. There are "would be some donger, however times when even showing a pre- slight, that over the preference bld ference should be declined because of two spades South would maite of the risk that it may lead to further another bid. North should have bidding. Consider the following, nipped situation:

this possibility in the bud by passing to two diainends. He was not playing duplicate and, therefore,

minor

Bult part-score contract would be just as good as a major mult. The most Important considera- tion was to make sure that the bid- ding did not pass the two Icvel.

South dealer.

Hoth sides vulnerable.

4802 Q15 OHG4

A473 VA842 003 PQJPG

KJ062

N WE Ꭶ AAKJ105

0AQJ72

&

A 94 VK763 OK 105

A745

The bidding!

South West JA

. PERN

A

A

Ins Рриа

North INT SA

Tak

Pane

Pass

Pass

Although North passed to the three rpade bid in a hurry, the dam- age had been done. West opened the club queen, and declarer found that he could not avoid the loss of one spade trick, two hearts, a diamond and a club, thus suffering a 100 point penalty.

North's Brat error had been to make any response to South's spade bid. With less than ons honor-trick,i and with the horrible 4-3-3-3 dis- tribution, North should not have mude even the negative notrump response; he should have passed!

shading that he did make this

response, however, he should have realized that if South had a good two-sulter he might make one more try toward game it North gave him the chance to do so. Although North's bid was nothing but a pre-

uth Full connot criticized for making a game try with] three spades. He had two reason-

ference.

סין

It follows, therefore, that under certain circumstances even prefer- ence bidding must be used with great discrimination.

PROBLEM

Who's Who?

Here are five couplets which give descriptions of certain well-known people. But to simplify your task of deciding who is mennt, each couplet gives, in the form of anagrams of either three or four consecutivo words, a clue to the name (Christian and surname) of the subject of the couplet:

1. The man on whom his ire

shall fall

May And his back against a

wall.

2. He certainly is not a man to

run

Among the crowd; he bagles

everyone.

3. Rich man or beggar at her

skill

Will wonder and will gaze

his fill.

4. The modern housewife need

not bother over

Her cleaning; with his gadget

she's in clover. (Solution on Page 12)

Che SNAPSHOT GUILD

FILTERS

AIRZONE

fine RADIO

·ALLWAVE AC RECEIVERS.

•BRITISH. MADE-

Presenting the "CONCERT STAR"

· Here's another star to join the Airzone Constallation-the "Concert Star"—it's new-jest ostma parkling addition to Altzone's brilliant group. More charming in line and form than any mantel ever made- lovely in sta rich "Zonur“ Moulding, it is a delight to the eye and .to the ear low. For here is the newer of all mantela that is the very ence of excellence-she "Concert Star”-new from Ausiralia's foremost radio factory to give you happy entertainment for many years to come

Ask for Demonstration

AGENTS:

The Hongkong Motor Accessory Co., Ltd.

St. George's Bldg. Chafer Ed. Tel 28554

MOTORI

SCONTRIBU

OH

KO

H. K.

NEWS

Never Before Such Tremendou?

Values Have Been Offered For The

Past Seven Years !

China Emporium, Ltd.

8th Anniversary Commemoration.

GIFT COUPONS

"Beginning' from the 12th to 21st. Sept., we offer you a buying opportunity that has never been equalled in the past of serving the community. There has never been such an offer like this! Nover such VALUES during this WAR TIME.period!! We're giving you more for your money. Every department in the store is brimming over with the.. things you need priced at the lowest possible figure for this event!' During this celebration, we're having a surprise Birthday Gift in the form of PRESENTATION COUPONS. To every purchaser of goods to the amount of $1. or over will be given a coupon which may be exchanged. for goods in any department of the store. The more you spend, the greater the value you'll get from your coupons in return. Latest selections of seasonable goods have been unpacked. So it is to your advantage to buy during the Commemoration period, and thus benefit by the GIFT COUPONS.

YOUR EARLY INSPECTION IS CORDIALLY INVITED.

CHINA EMPORIUM, LTD.

Clouds make your snapshots more, interesting and forceful. Hero a medium yellow filter recorded this scene just about the sams an 'it. appeared to the aye.

SUMMER is the outdoor season, mudium yellow. The former, usual and the great cloud manses y referred to as a "0" allor, dark standing out against deep bias ons a blue sky more than the "K-2," sky offor one of the beat opportuni oniphasizes foreground objects, and llos for glorifying snapshots Given aids in the elimination of distant bazo in landarapes The red, or “A” two pictures of deniteal subjects. After. Hard only with "pan" type

in which the sky appears, t) is a fim, darkene blur ektes sil) more. sate wager that your attention producing heavy, dramatic cloud

be held by the one showing Buy white clouds and not the one with

affects. These three. Ullers also ren der objects of their respectiva col· as unattractive,, graylat white skyors tighter in tone.

Photographlë filloru áre very senzi All filters tacluding the K-2, 0. tive to blue and ultra-violet light and A have what are knowɑ is and unfer the exposure is very factors." dependent their det bear curreal a hius sky will be resity and the type of hims used This corded in a very light tone. We can. merely means that the exposure however, be quite certain of render musa bo Increased by the number

ing the sky in a natural tone, with of the factor. For example, with a the clouds, showing up a britilani' | facior, of two-such as the K-2, you would double the normal exposaro white, by slipping a colour futer

by using the next larger lens open- over the lens.

nutch's 7/8 instead of 1711 - of 1/50 of a second instead of

Inexpensive and easy to use, the purpose of a niter is to hold back. rays of certain colours, allowing others to pass through the lens to the film. A medium yellow, com monly called a "K-2” älter, is-prob obly the most universally used, and should be the first choice of the camera-hobbylat. It records a-blue,

Ja approximately the relative tone value as seen by the oys, and it is useful for obtaining beitoe. colour tones in landscapes, beach scenes, sinadie, and many, other outdoor subjectiv

1/100

8 another handy Biter that fa useful under certain conditions is

Aitor This is · D. divided· Gitor," the top half, beina light yullow and the bottom hal clear. The druign, paruite filtering thu aký without affecting the fore, ground, and no increase in exposure I required This is vanecially valu able when regular or:# "chromo" type:dim Ikused ip camerau having simple lenses and shutters...

25 For, more dramatle or spectat ut, }}: Rvery, camüra hobbyist should have Forts, there are, of course, siber Bl: | keviral fliers. They rẻ unay to nNG Liars lavallat16,201, these, ile Kahn, and add, materially_to_the-quality bets allow multilabt red are often used | and uppek) of yourjakapihOLA, SEDE

BOMBER

FUND

Buy a Badge

for your car and support the

Bomber Fund

$10 each

NOW ON SALE AT

A. A. Offices

Dodwall & Co., Ltd., Gilman & Co., Ltd.."

& Co., Ltd., Hongkong Hotel Garag

Wallace

Chins Morning Post, Ltd.