Saturday,
HONGKONG TELEGRAPH September 13, 1941,
WEEK-END WIT
LOST CONTROL
"Did you say you knew a girl wito
HAD NOT TRIED
Old Lady: "Excuse me, but do lost her, Job because of stomach those tattoo marks wash off?" trouble?"
"You. She was an oriental dancer,
and lust control of it."
•
[
FIVE MINUTE VIEW
Old Tar: "I can't say, lady"
*
MAKING AN EFFORT
DEFINITION
A spinster is one who knows all the answers but us never been asked the questions.
•
THE REASON WITY
"I suppose It was financial and Sergeant: "You'd be n better domestic troubles that started, you
"I see that soldier boy friend of soldier," mlad, if you dranis less drinking?" mine for only about five minutes beer." every night."
"Thero" Isn't much fun in that, fa thero?"
"No, but I can't expect him to turn out the lights any quiciter."
"No, it was this way: once I saw a microscopo pieture of n drop
Private: "I'm reducing it now, water." sergeant, Em cutting out the Arst two pinis in the evening, and start- ing on the third."
"If we could only get a contract from the Government to collect the income tax."
BOOKS:
Nazi Long War Plans
IT in cormonly known how that Far East correspondent, Author of Hitler began his World War long be. "Red Star Over China," and "The fore 1930, and it was to be a World Battle for Asia, and Ellot Janeway, War.
Associate editor of "Time."-have each written a cheater in "SMASH HIT-
It began with order books, caplon- LER'S INTERNATIONALE. THE age, political intrigues, false friend- STRATEGY OF A FOLITICAL
D
WHEN TO START'
of
A wife should not worry when her husband is seen with another woman-it's when they're not seen she should begin to worry.
SOMETHING WANTED Our road engineers are performing miracles, but they are still building reads that do not curve when some drivers do.
•
•
NOT SO CRAZY
Visitor (at asylum): "Do you have to keep the women inmates separated from the men?"
Attendant: "Sure. The people here aren't so crazy as you think."
ANOTHER DEFINITION
A wedding is a funeral where you enn smell your own flowers.
TACTFUL
"Who gave the bride away?"
"I could have, but I kept my mouth shut."
DO IT YOURSELF
He was sitting on the couch with a French girl in a draughty room,
Je t'adore!" he whispered softly. "Don't be Inzy. Shut it yourself" replied the mademoiselle.
HIS ERROR
Wife: "I was a fool when I mar- rled you."
Husband: "I guess you were, but I was so infatuated at the time that I didn't notice it."
•
GETTING TOO BIG
Assistant: So you had to fire that conceited midget?
Manager: Yes, he was getting too big for his job.
*
16
SURPRISED
"I surprised my wife under un- usual circumstances last night,"
"When another man was kissing her?"
"No, when I waɛ.”
•
NO ACCOUNT "Have you an account with us, madam?"
"No, but I wish to see your manager."
"Lady of no account to see you, sir," announced the assistant to the manager.
.
IIS CHOICE
She didn't know which of the two
ships, all designed to bring unrest, OFFENSIVE AGAINST THE AXIS," young men to marry, so she asked uncertainty and disloyalty into the (OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS). Cather. countries that were to fall before They appear to
him, and they began telling, one by thes
Intimately "Jack is awfully handsome, but of the "Brown Bill is very steady," she said.
Dad did not hesitate. "Take Bill."
Internationale."
e many rami They know the di-
know
one, according to plan."
War was, but the final outward vlousness of the political and psycho-he said, "he's the one that really stroke, proving the inward victory logical warfare of the Axis pow
powers. loves you." It Americans were the last to realise They tell, each from his own post- "How do you know?" queried
because of that false sense of tion, what it is and how.to.incet.it. Mavis,.surprised.. which nearly conquered The "ensy going" people of the "Because I've Britain, they are now awake to all its western world will first be startled, money from him for the last devious realities.
then roused to action by the revela-monthie, ond he still comes three Three journalists, Edmund Taylor, tlon-it is hoped.
times a week,' sald the old man a Parls correspondent; Edgar Snow, a
\J. W. W. nowingly,
been borrowing
six
CONTRACT How to Play
BRIDGE
AND
How to Win
-By JOSEPHINE CULBERTSON-
"Preference" Bidding
Preference bidding requires deft ably solid multir North could de- and discriminating handling. The ilver as much as the spade quern beginner learns that when partner and another entry there would be a hag bid two suits be must show which good play for game.
he prefers, and when he has no real The crux of this situation was that preference, should return to the first North knew very well he had shaded same suit. This is all very well, as his notrump response; int South ground work, but the matter is not might be counting him for a shade nearly cut and dried enough to be more and that, consequently. there covered by a rigid rule. There are "would be some donger, however times when even showing a pre- slight, that over the preference bld ference should be declined because of two spades South would maite of the risk that it may lead to further another bid. North should have bidding. Consider the following, nipped situation:
this possibility in the bud by passing to two diainends. He was not playing duplicate and, therefore,
minor
Bult part-score contract would be just as good as a major mult. The most Important considera- tion was to make sure that the bid- ding did not pass the two Icvel.
South dealer.
Hoth sides vulnerable.
4802 Q15 OHG4
A473 VA842 003 PQJPG
KJ062
N WE Ꭶ AAKJ105
0AQJ72
&
A 94 VK763 OK 105
A745
The bidding!
South West JA
. PERN
A
A
Ins Рриа
North INT SA
Tak
Pane
Pass
Pass
Although North passed to the three rpade bid in a hurry, the dam- age had been done. West opened the club queen, and declarer found that he could not avoid the loss of one spade trick, two hearts, a diamond and a club, thus suffering a 100 point penalty.
North's Brat error had been to make any response to South's spade bid. With less than ons honor-trick,i and with the horrible 4-3-3-3 dis- tribution, North should not have mude even the negative notrump response; he should have passed!
shading that he did make this
response, however, he should have realized that if South had a good two-sulter he might make one more try toward game it North gave him the chance to do so. Although North's bid was nothing but a pre-
uth Full connot criticized for making a game try with] three spades. He had two reason-
ference.
סין
It follows, therefore, that under certain circumstances even prefer- ence bidding must be used with great discrimination.
PROBLEM
Who's Who?
Here are five couplets which give descriptions of certain well-known people. But to simplify your task of deciding who is mennt, each couplet gives, in the form of anagrams of either three or four consecutivo words, a clue to the name (Christian and surname) of the subject of the couplet:
1. The man on whom his ire
shall fall
May And his back against a
wall.
2. He certainly is not a man to
run
Among the crowd; he bagles
everyone.
3. Rich man or beggar at her
skill
Will wonder and will gaze
his fill.
4. The modern housewife need
not bother over
Her cleaning; with his gadget
she's in clover. (Solution on Page 12)
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Clouds make your snapshots more, interesting and forceful. Hero a medium yellow filter recorded this scene just about the sams an 'it. appeared to the aye.
SUMMER is the outdoor season, mudium yellow. The former, usual and the great cloud manses y referred to as a "0" allor, dark standing out against deep bias ons a blue sky more than the "K-2," sky offor one of the beat opportuni oniphasizes foreground objects, and llos for glorifying snapshots Given aids in the elimination of distant bazo in landarapes The red, or “A” two pictures of deniteal subjects. After. Hard only with "pan" type
in which the sky appears, t) is a fim, darkene blur ektes sil) more. sate wager that your attention producing heavy, dramatic cloud
be held by the one showing Buy white clouds and not the one with
affects. These three. Ullers also ren der objects of their respectiva col· as unattractive,, graylat white skyors tighter in tone.
Photographlë filloru áre very senzi All filters tacluding the K-2, 0. tive to blue and ultra-violet light and A have what are knowɑ is and unfer the exposure is very factors." dependent their det bear curreal a hius sky will be resity and the type of hims used This corded in a very light tone. We can. merely means that the exposure however, be quite certain of render musa bo Increased by the number
ing the sky in a natural tone, with of the factor. For example, with a the clouds, showing up a britilani' | facior, of two-such as the K-2, you would double the normal exposaro white, by slipping a colour futer
by using the next larger lens open- over the lens.
nutch's 7/8 instead of 1711 - of 1/50 of a second instead of
Inexpensive and easy to use, the purpose of a niter is to hold back. rays of certain colours, allowing others to pass through the lens to the film. A medium yellow, com monly called a "K-2” älter, is-prob obly the most universally used, and should be the first choice of the camera-hobbylat. It records a-blue,
Ja approximately the relative tone value as seen by the oys, and it is useful for obtaining beitoe. colour tones in landscapes, beach scenes, sinadie, and many, other outdoor subjectiv
1/100
8 another handy Biter that fa useful under certain conditions is
Aitor This is · D. divided· Gitor," the top half, beina light yullow and the bottom hal clear. The druign, paruite filtering thu aký without affecting the fore, ground, and no increase in exposure I required This is vanecially valu able when regular or:# "chromo" type:dim Ikused ip camerau having simple lenses and shutters...
25 For, more dramatle or spectat ut, }}: Rvery, camüra hobbyist should have Forts, there are, of course, siber Bl: | keviral fliers. They rẻ unay to nNG Liars lavallat16,201, these, ile Kahn, and add, materially_to_the-quality bets allow multilabt red are often used | and uppek) of yourjakapihOLA, SEDE
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