1939-09-14 — Page 33

NANCY

TSK TSK---

AUNT FRITZI'S

AWAY ON A

SHOPPING TRIP AND THE

ICE BOX STOPPED

WORKIN' --

NOW ALL

THE FOOD

WILL

GO BAD!

Thursday,

Capo 18kg Tailed Posters Erndtests, Fur,

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH

W-WHAT

WAS THAT?

By Ernie

Ernie

&

THIS THEATRE

16-

AIA COOLED

20 pronti COOLER

AUD - LA

.September 14, 1939.-

Bushmiller

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L

THIS TEST

Cricket, Trevor Wignall be- lieves, is the loveliest game in the world, but there are lots of things wrong with it-particu larly with Test cricket." In this article he looks back on his many years' association with the game and its players, and tells you about some of the

things that are wrong.

EV

VERY second year Engluna and Australia appear to be on the brink of war. Ulumniums are issued, threats are published in all newspapers, hoots and jerrs are The Aussie lifted to the heavens by spec- Will Smile tators, and it is simply the anti- cipated when Government officials have to be called in to prevent the mobilisation of the artillery.

CRICKET IS A

Says

TREVOR WIGNALL

by disinissing men who were national; shilling of their expenses is pak. heroes.

When they visit Bonus Of £600

England they are g.ven weekly allowance to out-of- pocket spendings, and in addition they are bonded a nur bonus of £600,

I was just then, when some- thing obviously had to be done about it, that one of my own trade had a brain-wave. He trilled out the Whole Land In Uproar

awful, absolutely incor- rect, tidings that Larwood bowled for the body and

not for the stumps,

Nobody had ever heard of body! fine bowling until then. The term, however, was one of genius.

cover

The English professionals line up for their £50 per match, or £250 it they are selected for the five that are played in England,

Tre extremely tasty. They

PHIE profts from the Tests

are so appetising. Indeed, that they would not be turned down by a mil-

It pierced every Austration as though an arrow had been sped, and in a twinkling the whole land was onaire.

shouting

uproar, Larwood's life may not have been|Profits Are

"

At the close of every tour there a

Usually around

£100,000 to play

in perit, but no sisurance company So Tasty would have granted a policy on it,

An Australkin will smile to a good-in natured, cousinly way when he told by an Englishmans that he is un- couth, that bis ancestors were Botany Boy convicts, that he is a rotten loser, that he loathes criticism and all the confidence tricksters of the world were born Sydney or Melbourne.

that

either

These attacks on his country, and the people who live in it, are brushed off with the quite kindly comment that they are bright examples of Engilsh humour,

There is never a snarl, never a frown, and never the instinctive movement of muscles and Buments that precede the closing of flats.

QUT let it be whispered that

BU England can lick the pants

off Australia at

Where It

Hurts

cricket, or that a slumpy showmnh named Donald Bradman is not the most marvellous maker of runs the earth hes 1. and the decks

im- mediately cleared.

Invoking the name of Bradman to any Australian in any other manner save utter adulation is the same as Inviting a swift clip on the chin.

are

You can tell an Australian that his wool is terrible, that his Sydney bridge is a pimple when contrasted

The digger of coal bid to keep his! eyes skinned when he walked the streets. He was Kruger of the Boer War, and the Gerinun Emperor af the larger disturbance of 1914.

་

with,

Long since

came to the conclusion that the

cricket follower is the most docile and easily dealt with of all the sports fraternity.

Fry.

I

He will stand for hours watching balls being bowled, and if at the

po add to the absurdities the lunchcon interval he finds no T

ar

rulers of cricket in Aus-rangements have been made for him trulla addressed a rude cable to the to purchase a sandwich he shrugs controliers of the game in England. his shoulders and goes on starving:

As a trouble-creator this document

WHEN 30,000 people are ud- mitted to a cricket ground

Rude Cable might well ve To M.C.C.

been

framed

by

W

a South Ameri-] it is a safe assumption that there are

can agitator, or seats for less than one-third of that

by n Fascist who wished to disturb number. the peace of Communist. 21

Shocking

Iahook England and Australia to such an extent that the consequent Discomforts dangerous feelings aroused had to be

referred to

There Are

grumbles, of course, but they never

to

British Cabinet Minister | much more than a polite whimper. fer balm to be

In the 1938 season I watched the upplied. Americans who rend this may thousands who fought for admission think I am exaggerating. They are to the grounds in London and in the hereby invited to share the horrors provinces. of the next Test series. What do

Don Bradman

CRIME

WEMBLEY SWIMMING SURPRISES

London, Aug. 20. Denmark score a smashing suc- cess in the first event of the first session of the two-days match be- tween England and Denmark in the Empire Pool, Wembley, last night, when Rugnhild Hveger, holder of 14 world records, won the 100 metres free style.

The Dane met the English_sprint champion. Joyce Harrowby (Lelces- iter). From the start Miss Harrow- by led by a foot at 40 metres, then the all-conquering Dane went on to win by four yards in 1 mln. sec. Miss Harrowby's time being 1 mín. 0% see.

There was a sensation when Poul wood, Wilfred Rhodes, and Charles Petersen defeated Norman Wain- 400 wright by six yards in the What, no Bradman? Certainly not. metres free style in 5 min. 14sec. Oh, yes, I know all about his records, | Wainwright's time was 5 min. his phenomenal scares, and

his 18 sec. nurtured showmanship.. I gazed on

There was an unfortunate incident him with frequency, on good days and bat, and almost invariably he in the women's springboard contest reminded me of a nearly perfect when the champions of Denmark

and England, Asta Aggerholt piece of machinery.

Miss Betty Slade met hallway RICKET has been kind to through the contest. Miss Aggerholt hit her head in a forward comersault Bradman. It has provided and had to retire from the competi him with opportunities that would not have come his way it he had been less expert with a

Nothing

of wood lump!

It hlm

has

tion.

and

to Mist

The verdiet was given Slade with 110 points. given comfort. John Davies got clean away from Against Him money, hero-wor- Finn Jensen in the 200 metres breast

ship, chances to stroke, with the Englishman using see the world, and the companion- well-nigh perfect butterfly stroke.

the ship of those who dwell in grow

CLEVER RACE purple,

I have nothing against him. Some-| Ragnhild Hveger swam a clever times my hat is off so loftily in bis race In the 100 metres women's honour that I fear will remain in back-stroke when she beat Vivian the stratosphere for keeps,

Bossett-Lowke by 2 yards in 1 min. He is a wonderful cricketer, and 17 sec. The English girl's Ume merely shrug at those who scream was 1 min. 19sec. that he generation. I do not think so, and until the last 30

the greatest of any Ilveger looked across at her rivals metres, when she would put him behind-for example drew away for a gallant win.

Jack Hobbs.

England scored a brilliant win in when Fred Dove, who finished the the 4 x 100 metres men's relay race,

last leg, pulled in a 2-yards lead by Denmark and then went on to finish 4 yards in front of Denmark's last

Water Polo.--England 5, Denmark

High Platform Diving (Men),—-), pts.; 2, England,

They knew all about the shocking they know of cricket who only discomforts that would make them

Harlem cricket know?

•

ache in every bone before the day ,was over, but they were the first to show surprise when some outspoken WOULD scrap the fixtures visitor from another country wanted between England and Aus-to know why the blankety enclosures

were not burned down.

with the two that cross the waters tralia, if I had my way.

at San Francisco, or even that his The Tests in which South Africa Cockney accent is unendurable, and

and the West Indies are concerned Scrap These

he will give you the old grin and

call up more drinks.

•

Bu

•

DUT indicate that in your

opinion Bradman is not a

Tests

ù e could

re tained, for they do no harm, but all the Englund

v. Australia ones are a blight and a patch on Jack Hobbs or Walter Ham-beastly nuisance. mond, und he will knock your block

of.

As sport that depends on the money taken at entrances, cricket, of the county kind, is dying fast.

am incurably AND yet I

·

he is

Bradman as an amateur. It is per- What I simply cannot do is respect

haps small point, but na mun is amateur who makes thousands a year out of his

for his reputation akill with a bat, a ball, or a glave.

man.

Afond of cricket. It is such IF the result of a mutch was 2.

a sweet game that I deeply regret il

the only thing that mat-j

They disrupt relations with more considerations as hard cash.

has to be bothered with such base tered, and if winning was infinitely, Denmark, 111.38

more important thon any other 108.3 pts. rapidity than

pilitical

any

con-Tests-

"I spenk with knowledge on this rovers England-Australia matches A Crime Bradman's

are so carefully commercialized that

Shrine

topic. Auštra,

lans yearned to

knock my block off for years. Always because I did not bow down and worship, at the shrine of Brudman.

If only a percentage of the threats

uimed at me by Aussies when in their view I had shown my abysmal Ignorance on Bradman and on cricket in general had token effect I would have been blown to pieces when I was still more or less in my youth,

+

NOME years ago England sent

a team to Australia that) had as its captala on austere and Bint-hearted man named Jardine, and a fast bowler named Larwood. Jardine

Jardine should have sulted Aus- Spat At tralians down to

the ground.

He

was of their own breed. If a legitl- mate advantage could be taken he

caused by

top my list.

In the begin-conceivable aspect. Bradman would ning cricket was Don Not meant to

be A Hobbs played on men- strelches that

the packing of totally inatlequate dows, or on similar grounds is these days almost the sole were not sheltered by tall walls and consideration.

The highest possible prices of

| pay-boxes.

Never in the history of mankind admission are charged, und in return has it been played in a shower of for their money unlookers are forced rain, but that can be excused. to endure discomforts that would

From its inception it hus asked for start riots if they were

the peace that passes understanding, municipalities, or employers.

for light breezes that fan the check, for sunshine that acts as a soporife, and for leisured pauses cakes and the tea around.

Cricket must have been entirely beautiful before the

who in- vented Test matches between Eng- land and Australia was born,

nausea

while the can be passed

guy

THE commonest spectacle at THE

any cricket ground on big days is that of lung queues of men, and women outside lavatories.

The

these aroused by

secnes is some- times mildly

Is a pity that, when young, he alluded to in

was not placed in a bucket of water newspapers, but no effort is made by the people res- and the lid dropped on his shameful

head. ponsible to remedy a disgusting state of affairs.

Behind The Times

The marvel is that he is ever

bowled, caught,

or stumped. If the state of a game demands stone-walling he will dig in his heels; If his mood so diclates he will smack bowlers all over the district.

He is the perfect manufactured on a wet and sticky wicket as Hobb batsman-but he could never play

Surrey were in a hole. was wont to play when England

Shoes Of Spun Glass Now

LONDON.

or

UPSET IN TENNIS TOURNEY

Forest Hills, Sept. 13.

Entering the quarter-finals of the U.S. national singles tennis cham pionships, Welby Van Horn, the 17-

the Brst year-old player, provided real upset of the tournament to-day defeating Elwood Cooke, the Wim- bledon runner-up. by 6-3, 8-10 6.4 and (?).

Joe Hunt, the Davis Cupper, de- feated Frankie Parker, another U.S. The world will have caught up Davis Cupper, by 6-1, 0-1, 0-1 tọ with the Cinderelis legend of the enter the quarter-finals. Parker put ginss shoe by thus autumn. Anup feeble resistence.

American shoe magnate now in Harry Hopman, the Australion If a monument is ever crected to London has brought out several kinds Davis Cup captain, defeated "Bitsy" 6-3--United him and his kind it should show of women's shoes made from spun- Grant 7-5, 7-5, 6-7, them in abject humiliation, with

The race-tracks of Britain are 50 years behind the times, but the

their heads in their wet hands, weep- took it. In his lexicon there was no cricket grounds ought all to be torn

the ghostly crime down because they are 100 years too ing bitterly for

they committed,

such word us defent.

Jardine Was dour, determined, thick-skinned, and eminently fair- but he affected a cap of many colours

cyanide of

of potassium to all

that was whose gaze

It affronted, That settled Jardine, The fact that he was striving to lead his coun- try to victory was diamissed as a foolish exhibition of snobbery. He was spat at on the streets when he wasn't booed or otherwise insulted.

ancient.

The most sodnie and in some re- rendered

gards the most beautiful of all pas- times is disfigured and hideous by the way it is run.

·

4

•

•

WATCH cricket purely for the entertainment it al- fords, Not since I myself swung a bat for the old regiment a con- crete wicket in the Bermudas have:

I cared two hoots who won or who lost.

SNOBBERY still surrounds I Haven't

and supports It a in the

Cared

·

days when grandpa was a child.

The old school tie is its emblem)

I ask only to and its shield, and tradition is the be kept interested. This being so, I poor flag which am at liberty to choose the men i ARWOOD was # former Pro's

waves over ita would engage if I wished to spend coal-hewer from the Not Kept Apart

head.

a pleasant day. tingham district. He was the fastest

Amateur cric Ability as n batsman, or as fast bowler England had ever bred. ket, by which is meant the cricket bowler, would attract me less than He could send down the hurdling played by the only real amateurs in the known entertainment virtues of Larwood Was ball ninety-the men who pay their own rall my selected.

Too Fast

nt

miles an hour.

"No

fares to get to their pitches-is a joy. batsman but big-business cricket is in the

loved Larwood.

•

а

Y eleven would be DN follows and it must be

M same class as a Stock Exchange dent,

and the suspicion quickly grew that or the buying and selling of a pro- remembered that I include only the Idol Bradman was nune too fond perty. of him.

those men I saw in their prime, and Until recently its supposed amateurs whose splendour as entertainers is,

His quickles were too quick; and and its declared professionals were This Is My Larwood was else reputed to be able kept apart.

to pitch five deliveries out of six on a

postage-stamp./

In under a month he was asi

popular throughout Australia

118

·

Eleven

engraved on my heart John B. Hobbs, K. S. Raniitsinhjl,

USTRALIAN cricketers still Woolley, Patry Hendren, Victor.

call themselves amateurs. Trumper, Herbert Sutcliffe, Bart Old-

yellow fever. He disgraced the game Heaven only knows why. Every fold, Walter Hammond, Harold Lar

glass material.

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