NANCY
TSK TSK---
AUNT FRITZI'S
AWAY ON A
SHOPPING TRIP AND THE
ICE BOX STOPPED
WORKIN' --
NOW ALL
THE FOOD
WILL
GO BAD!
Thursday,
Capo 18kg Tailed Posters Erndtests, Fur,
HONGKONG TELEGRAPH
W-WHAT
WAS THAT?
By Ernie
Ernie
&
THIS THEATRE
16-
AIA COOLED
20 pronti COOLER
AUD - LA
.September 14, 1939.-
Bushmiller
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L
THIS TEST
Cricket, Trevor Wignall be- lieves, is the loveliest game in the world, but there are lots of things wrong with it-particu larly with Test cricket." In this article he looks back on his many years' association with the game and its players, and tells you about some of the
things that are wrong.
EV
VERY second year Engluna and Australia appear to be on the brink of war. Ulumniums are issued, threats are published in all newspapers, hoots and jerrs are The Aussie lifted to the heavens by spec- Will Smile tators, and it is simply the anti- cipated when Government officials have to be called in to prevent the mobilisation of the artillery.
CRICKET IS A
Says
TREVOR WIGNALL
by disinissing men who were national; shilling of their expenses is pak. heroes.
When they visit Bonus Of £600
England they are g.ven weekly allowance to out-of- pocket spendings, and in addition they are bonded a nur bonus of £600,
I was just then, when some- thing obviously had to be done about it, that one of my own trade had a brain-wave. He trilled out the Whole Land In Uproar
awful, absolutely incor- rect, tidings that Larwood bowled for the body and
not for the stumps,
Nobody had ever heard of body! fine bowling until then. The term, however, was one of genius.
cover
The English professionals line up for their £50 per match, or £250 it they are selected for the five that are played in England,
Tre extremely tasty. They
PHIE profts from the Tests
are so appetising. Indeed, that they would not be turned down by a mil-
It pierced every Austration as though an arrow had been sped, and in a twinkling the whole land was onaire.
shouting
uproar, Larwood's life may not have been|Profits Are
"
At the close of every tour there a
Usually around
£100,000 to play
in perit, but no sisurance company So Tasty would have granted a policy on it,
An Australkin will smile to a good-in natured, cousinly way when he told by an Englishmans that he is un- couth, that bis ancestors were Botany Boy convicts, that he is a rotten loser, that he loathes criticism and all the confidence tricksters of the world were born Sydney or Melbourne.
that
either
These attacks on his country, and the people who live in it, are brushed off with the quite kindly comment that they are bright examples of Engilsh humour,
There is never a snarl, never a frown, and never the instinctive movement of muscles and Buments that precede the closing of flats.
QUT let it be whispered that
BU England can lick the pants
off Australia at
Where It
Hurts
cricket, or that a slumpy showmnh named Donald Bradman is not the most marvellous maker of runs the earth hes 1. and the decks
im- mediately cleared.
Invoking the name of Bradman to any Australian in any other manner save utter adulation is the same as Inviting a swift clip on the chin.
are
You can tell an Australian that his wool is terrible, that his Sydney bridge is a pimple when contrasted
The digger of coal bid to keep his! eyes skinned when he walked the streets. He was Kruger of the Boer War, and the Gerinun Emperor af the larger disturbance of 1914.
་
with,
Long since
came to the conclusion that the
cricket follower is the most docile and easily dealt with of all the sports fraternity.
Fry.
I
He will stand for hours watching balls being bowled, and if at the
po add to the absurdities the lunchcon interval he finds no T
ar
rulers of cricket in Aus-rangements have been made for him trulla addressed a rude cable to the to purchase a sandwich he shrugs controliers of the game in England. his shoulders and goes on starving:
As a trouble-creator this document
WHEN 30,000 people are ud- mitted to a cricket ground
Rude Cable might well ve To M.C.C.
been
framed
by
W
a South Ameri-] it is a safe assumption that there are
can agitator, or seats for less than one-third of that
by n Fascist who wished to disturb number. the peace of Communist. 21
Shocking
Iahook England and Australia to such an extent that the consequent Discomforts dangerous feelings aroused had to be
referred to
There Are
grumbles, of course, but they never
to
British Cabinet Minister | much more than a polite whimper. fer balm to be
In the 1938 season I watched the upplied. Americans who rend this may thousands who fought for admission think I am exaggerating. They are to the grounds in London and in the hereby invited to share the horrors provinces. of the next Test series. What do
Don Bradman
CRIME
WEMBLEY SWIMMING SURPRISES
London, Aug. 20. Denmark score a smashing suc- cess in the first event of the first session of the two-days match be- tween England and Denmark in the Empire Pool, Wembley, last night, when Rugnhild Hveger, holder of 14 world records, won the 100 metres free style.
The Dane met the English_sprint champion. Joyce Harrowby (Lelces- iter). From the start Miss Harrow- by led by a foot at 40 metres, then the all-conquering Dane went on to win by four yards in 1 mln. sec. Miss Harrowby's time being 1 mín. 0% see.
There was a sensation when Poul wood, Wilfred Rhodes, and Charles Petersen defeated Norman Wain- 400 wright by six yards in the What, no Bradman? Certainly not. metres free style in 5 min. 14sec. Oh, yes, I know all about his records, | Wainwright's time was 5 min. his phenomenal scares, and
his 18 sec. nurtured showmanship.. I gazed on
There was an unfortunate incident him with frequency, on good days and bat, and almost invariably he in the women's springboard contest reminded me of a nearly perfect when the champions of Denmark
and England, Asta Aggerholt piece of machinery.
Miss Betty Slade met hallway RICKET has been kind to through the contest. Miss Aggerholt hit her head in a forward comersault Bradman. It has provided and had to retire from the competi him with opportunities that would not have come his way it he had been less expert with a
Nothing
of wood lump!
It hlm
has
tion.
and
to Mist
The verdiet was given Slade with 110 points. given comfort. John Davies got clean away from Against Him money, hero-wor- Finn Jensen in the 200 metres breast
ship, chances to stroke, with the Englishman using see the world, and the companion- well-nigh perfect butterfly stroke.
the ship of those who dwell in grow
CLEVER RACE purple,
I have nothing against him. Some-| Ragnhild Hveger swam a clever times my hat is off so loftily in bis race In the 100 metres women's honour that I fear will remain in back-stroke when she beat Vivian the stratosphere for keeps,
Bossett-Lowke by 2 yards in 1 min. He is a wonderful cricketer, and 17 sec. The English girl's Ume merely shrug at those who scream was 1 min. 19sec. that he generation. I do not think so, and until the last 30
the greatest of any Ilveger looked across at her rivals metres, when she would put him behind-for example drew away for a gallant win.
Jack Hobbs.
England scored a brilliant win in when Fred Dove, who finished the the 4 x 100 metres men's relay race,
last leg, pulled in a 2-yards lead by Denmark and then went on to finish 4 yards in front of Denmark's last
Water Polo.--England 5, Denmark
High Platform Diving (Men),—-), pts.; 2, England,
They knew all about the shocking they know of cricket who only discomforts that would make them
Harlem cricket know?
•
ache in every bone before the day ,was over, but they were the first to show surprise when some outspoken WOULD scrap the fixtures visitor from another country wanted between England and Aus-to know why the blankety enclosures
were not burned down.
with the two that cross the waters tralia, if I had my way.
at San Francisco, or even that his The Tests in which South Africa Cockney accent is unendurable, and
and the West Indies are concerned Scrap These
he will give you the old grin and
call up more drinks.
•
Bu
•
DUT indicate that in your
opinion Bradman is not a
Tests
ù e could
re tained, for they do no harm, but all the Englund
v. Australia ones are a blight and a patch on Jack Hobbs or Walter Ham-beastly nuisance. mond, und he will knock your block
of.
As sport that depends on the money taken at entrances, cricket, of the county kind, is dying fast.
am incurably AND yet I
·
he is
Bradman as an amateur. It is per- What I simply cannot do is respect
haps small point, but na mun is amateur who makes thousands a year out of his
for his reputation akill with a bat, a ball, or a glave.
man.
Afond of cricket. It is such IF the result of a mutch was 2.
a sweet game that I deeply regret il
the only thing that mat-j
They disrupt relations with more considerations as hard cash.
has to be bothered with such base tered, and if winning was infinitely, Denmark, 111.38
more important thon any other 108.3 pts. rapidity than
pilitical
any
con-Tests-
"I spenk with knowledge on this rovers England-Australia matches A Crime Bradman's
are so carefully commercialized that
Shrine
topic. Auštra,
lans yearned to
knock my block off for years. Always because I did not bow down and worship, at the shrine of Brudman.
If only a percentage of the threats
uimed at me by Aussies when in their view I had shown my abysmal Ignorance on Bradman and on cricket in general had token effect I would have been blown to pieces when I was still more or less in my youth,
+
NOME years ago England sent
a team to Australia that) had as its captala on austere and Bint-hearted man named Jardine, and a fast bowler named Larwood. Jardine
Jardine should have sulted Aus- Spat At tralians down to
the ground.
He
was of their own breed. If a legitl- mate advantage could be taken he
caused by
top my list.
In the begin-conceivable aspect. Bradman would ning cricket was Don Not meant to
be A Hobbs played on men- strelches that
the packing of totally inatlequate dows, or on similar grounds is these days almost the sole were not sheltered by tall walls and consideration.
The highest possible prices of
| pay-boxes.
Never in the history of mankind admission are charged, und in return has it been played in a shower of for their money unlookers are forced rain, but that can be excused. to endure discomforts that would
From its inception it hus asked for start riots if they were
the peace that passes understanding, municipalities, or employers.
for light breezes that fan the check, for sunshine that acts as a soporife, and for leisured pauses cakes and the tea around.
Cricket must have been entirely beautiful before the
who in- vented Test matches between Eng- land and Australia was born,
nausea
while the can be passed
guy
THE commonest spectacle at THE
any cricket ground on big days is that of lung queues of men, and women outside lavatories.
The
these aroused by
secnes is some- times mildly
Is a pity that, when young, he alluded to in
was not placed in a bucket of water newspapers, but no effort is made by the people res- and the lid dropped on his shameful
head. ponsible to remedy a disgusting state of affairs.
Behind The Times
The marvel is that he is ever
bowled, caught,
or stumped. If the state of a game demands stone-walling he will dig in his heels; If his mood so diclates he will smack bowlers all over the district.
He is the perfect manufactured on a wet and sticky wicket as Hobb batsman-but he could never play
Surrey were in a hole. was wont to play when England
Shoes Of Spun Glass Now
LONDON.
or
UPSET IN TENNIS TOURNEY
Forest Hills, Sept. 13.
Entering the quarter-finals of the U.S. national singles tennis cham pionships, Welby Van Horn, the 17-
the Brst year-old player, provided real upset of the tournament to-day defeating Elwood Cooke, the Wim- bledon runner-up. by 6-3, 8-10 6.4 and (?).
Joe Hunt, the Davis Cupper, de- feated Frankie Parker, another U.S. The world will have caught up Davis Cupper, by 6-1, 0-1, 0-1 tọ with the Cinderelis legend of the enter the quarter-finals. Parker put ginss shoe by thus autumn. Anup feeble resistence.
American shoe magnate now in Harry Hopman, the Australion If a monument is ever crected to London has brought out several kinds Davis Cup captain, defeated "Bitsy" 6-3--United him and his kind it should show of women's shoes made from spun- Grant 7-5, 7-5, 6-7, them in abject humiliation, with
The race-tracks of Britain are 50 years behind the times, but the
their heads in their wet hands, weep- took it. In his lexicon there was no cricket grounds ought all to be torn
the ghostly crime down because they are 100 years too ing bitterly for
they committed,
such word us defent.
Jardine Was dour, determined, thick-skinned, and eminently fair- but he affected a cap of many colours
cyanide of
of potassium to all
that was whose gaze
It affronted, That settled Jardine, The fact that he was striving to lead his coun- try to victory was diamissed as a foolish exhibition of snobbery. He was spat at on the streets when he wasn't booed or otherwise insulted.
ancient.
The most sodnie and in some re- rendered
gards the most beautiful of all pas- times is disfigured and hideous by the way it is run.
·
4
•
•
WATCH cricket purely for the entertainment it al- fords, Not since I myself swung a bat for the old regiment a con- crete wicket in the Bermudas have:
I cared two hoots who won or who lost.
SNOBBERY still surrounds I Haven't
and supports It a in the
Cared
·
days when grandpa was a child.
The old school tie is its emblem)
I ask only to and its shield, and tradition is the be kept interested. This being so, I poor flag which am at liberty to choose the men i ARWOOD was # former Pro's
waves over ita would engage if I wished to spend coal-hewer from the Not Kept Apart
head.
a pleasant day. tingham district. He was the fastest
Amateur cric Ability as n batsman, or as fast bowler England had ever bred. ket, by which is meant the cricket bowler, would attract me less than He could send down the hurdling played by the only real amateurs in the known entertainment virtues of Larwood Was ball ninety-the men who pay their own rall my selected.
Too Fast
nt
miles an hour.
"No
fares to get to their pitches-is a joy. batsman but big-business cricket is in the
loved Larwood.
•
а
Y eleven would be DN follows and it must be
M same class as a Stock Exchange dent,
and the suspicion quickly grew that or the buying and selling of a pro- remembered that I include only the Idol Bradman was nune too fond perty. of him.
those men I saw in their prime, and Until recently its supposed amateurs whose splendour as entertainers is,
His quickles were too quick; and and its declared professionals were This Is My Larwood was else reputed to be able kept apart.
to pitch five deliveries out of six on a
postage-stamp./
In under a month he was asi
popular throughout Australia
118
·
Eleven
engraved on my heart John B. Hobbs, K. S. Raniitsinhjl,
USTRALIAN cricketers still Woolley, Patry Hendren, Victor.
call themselves amateurs. Trumper, Herbert Sutcliffe, Bart Old-
yellow fever. He disgraced the game Heaven only knows why. Every fold, Walter Hammond, Harold Lar
glass material.
Press.
A scone from Columbia's ""Thera's "That Woman" "Again,” which co- lars Melvyn Douglas and Virginia' Bruce at the King's Theatre to-day.
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