1936-05-14 — Page 6

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THE HONGKOng TelegrapH, THURSDAY, MAY 14, 1936.

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LASZLO SCHWARTZ

DISCOVERS

man

the

who

laughed

at himself

Shondweto

Chinese eltizens from the Colony. As a private soldier in the Hongkong Volunteer De- IN my eternal hunt for amateur tap-dancer-the Dod fence Force, he found himself humour, nothing is of well Sisters. Now, you will in the novel position of doing have to be satisfied with that to- sentry-go outside the Hongkong greater importance to me, in day, but I'll dig up something and Shanghai Bank, of which he dier pidgin? I too muchee fear appraising a man's sense of funny for you within a day or was then Chairman, a duty England no got soldiers. More humour, than to discover at so and let you have it."

which became known as 'guard- better. I go Canton chop-chop.' "No amount of argument the very outset whether the On my way home, I tried to ing one's overdraft.' incidents he relates are per- tinue when he makes such

In those days, the ordinary could convince him that Eng- reason why a man.doesn't con-

a soldier ranked lower in the land was not in extremis, and he sonal or whether he has splendid start, and I began to eyes of Chinese society than he packed up and went to Canton, developed the capacity of doubt. if I would over be pre- docs to-day, and one of Mr. hundreds of his compatriots fol

Chinese lowing suit. laughing at others. Any sented with another laugh by Dodwell's influential

"Incidentally, for this memor. fool can laugh at the other Mr. Dodwell. But I was, the business friends, happening to

very next day, and 1 pass it on see him in the garb of a British able guard the Bank provided Mr. and Mrs. Fung Hong Un beg to chap's expense, but it is only in the hope, that "a laugh a day Tommy, was so surprised and free liquid refreshment in the

announce that the marriage of a wise man who has cul- may keep wrinkles away.

disturbed that he rushed into the Guardroom until, in about a their daughter, Stella, to Mr.

office the following day in great, fortnight's time, the Board de- cided, much to. the Chairman's "In the early days of the agitation. Great War, Mr. Dodwell was "You belong No. 1 man this regret, that it would be cheaper At first, Mr. Dodwell's inadvertently responsible for great Bank, he said,how to let the vaults take their face-puzzled me for a few quite a considerable exodus of fashion you do this d-fool sol- chance without a guard:!" moments, but as soon as I

ANNOUNCEMENT.

Chau Sing Kan will take place attivated the capacity of Here it is: the Registry on Thursday, May laughing at himself.

21st, 1936. No invitations are being issued but all friends will be

welcome at the Reception to be

held at the Hongkong Hotel al 4.30 p.m.

The

found him laughing at him-

self I felt quite certain that

we were brothers in the ARE WE WISER THAN THE APES?.

Hongkong Telegraph. Land of Mirth. For to my

THURSDAY, MAY 14, 1936.

"COLONIAL EQUALITY"

request for something to

tickle the ribs, he gave this bit of information:

"My chief claim to notoriety

Misusing the Gifts of

and humour is that I am one of COME of these dry-as-dust scientists the joint-producers of our local

and solemn-visaged scholars con-

By AN OLD STAGER of which there is as yet no tint ceal a ripe sense of humour in their

whatever, homo sapiens roads will academic make-up.

prize What

battlefields. the sardonic iden of classifying the Lethal Gew-Gaw human race as homo sapiens? That

Science

tha

Melodious Notes, Accurately British questionnaire to Ger- MITES OF THE comedian, for instance, first conceive be more slaughterous even than his done for monkeys have such sound

Voiced and Tuned

S. MOUTRIE

& Co.,

York Building.

A

CARE F

Ltd.

Chater Road.

O

R:

YOUR

HANDS

his

the potential fuel as being filthy to the touch and disturbing to digestion, What they would not have instincts that, unlike homo sapiens, they reject polsonous foods on sight ls to utilise the coalfields, in their Indecent haste to get rich quick, in such a way as to poison the very air they breathed. Danaest in the World

A noteworthy omission in the

many ia the absence of any re- ference to the expectation on the

joke must through the ages have The tiny Island of Great Britain week If ever a man deserved recog-afforded infinite side-spiliting amuse-ntone sees sacrificed every part of the Hitler Government

ment to the Olympian immortals.

about a hundred lives and two or that within a reasonable time, nition by his countrymen and the

monarch, he served, it is Lord WI- Homo sapiens. And he does not three thousands of human limbs and by means of friendly negodon. He has just been made even know enough to be able to agree, the overmastering

urge that fools:

Yet that is just what homo sapienz tiations, the question of "Colo-

a Marquis. In Canada, where he to stop slaughtering his own species feel to get there quickly. Then we

face of the most solemn scientifle nial equality of rights" shall be

passed a distinguished term as It is an intriguing thought for mortais, blithely proceed to include those fools has done and is going on doing, in cleared up.

The explanation Governor-General, he was seldom who proudly usurp the title of lords in the category of homo sapiens,

of creation, whether the birds, were Contemplating the manner in which warnings and the most palpable facta. Precise satistics reveal that during probably lies not so much in the called upon to exercise the tact and they endowed

with our self- mankind utilises its latest mechanical the past twenty years the atmosphere fact that Britain has declared careful judgment that his Indian complacent chemical and mechanical and scientifle toys, whether designed of industrial areas has grown steadi-

ly worse rather than better. her unwillingness to surrender office demanded. But as Viceroy genius, would at once proceed to for peace or war, any dispassionate

devise the most wholesale means of Cook's tourist from Mars must con- would be comparatively simple, and any of her oversens possessions of that great Empire even

exterminating feathered creation. elude that homo sapiens is about as lighly economie, so to utilise our as in the circumstance that the abilities must have been taxed. It is would they revel in the lethal poten- fit to be trusted with these lethal burled fuci weather that the air of issue does not call for immediate probably the highest tribute that inlities of high explosives and polson gew-nows as would

be baby chimp

as that of Locarno. We prefer to go attention. As has on many oc- the man could have that there is gases? My Own private conviction with detonated Mills bomb. Such our cities would be us clear and pure on gassing ourselves by using up our casions been pointed out, Bri- not a section of the population of is that even jackasses would live visitor as our Martian friend would as

say we were all as mud as March coal reserves in the least scientific and

not homo most were tain could not be expected, sole India that does not hold him in more savvy.

But this is only one aspect of the hares. That we

ost extravagant manner possible. high respect, and there are many

What makes it all the worse is that ly amongst the nations concern-

of whom his generosity and sym-colossal lunacy of homo sapiena. sapiens, in fact, but just what the ed, to give up territories

Overpathy have made lifelong friends. Aerial torpedoes and phosgene gas succinct Americans coll "Rups!"

Any fine afternoon at the Zoo you Great Britain is not only intellectual- which she holds mandatory He has said that he intends to re-are after all employed only in the

admittedly abnormal war-time Inter- may

see groups of human bipeds ly the densest, but actually the most world, powers, and it is clear that the tire, and that his health is not as ludes. Though these are frequent laughing uproariously at the inane densely populated, in the British Government has no such rebust as it might be. But, if we and protracted, there de come periods dies of, the apes. It never for a There are about 400 people to the

On the other hand, may be permitted to judge the when homo intention.

sapiens is at peace with moment enters their craniums that square mile. What sort of air do

Bach? it is quite conceivable that she character of the man, we believe himself. Even the piping times of maybe the apes are even more tickled these patriots breathe to the square According to the latest sclentine that active mind, with all the mass peace, however, have become almost, to death about our imbecile. might be prepared, provided a

if not quite, as deadly us war When Supposing this world had satisfactory scheme were evolv- of vital facts it compasses, will homo sapiens is not killing himself populated, not by homo sapiens, but tests they inhale, in each mouthful are, according to of air they breathe, especially if, as ed, to consider the making of go on working for the Empire heff deliberately, and of malice ufore monkeys, who

I won- most of us now do, they live in a the latest selentille selence, our poor relations. economic concessions in certain has served so long, so fearlessly thought by

and so successfully.

methods, he does it light-heartedly der would they have developed mur town, 13,000,000 coal particier, 700,000 of her Colonies and in this way

we have done. petrol particles, 37,000 rubber-dust and for amusement. In the long run, coat resources as

25,500 tobacco-ash lot for one dispose of the problem of ac-

unless something is done to stop it, Most likely they would have ignored particles, and

particles. It seems a mouthful, but there it is, and, even cess to raw materials. In a re-

allowing a liberal discount for the comt debate devoted to this at

known partiality of scientists for making lay flesh creep, it puts rather a new significance on that horrible Yankee eliche, "You've Enid a mouthful!"

**

been

** There is a commercial gospel in Canada and the United States

Lords, one of the speakers ber of followers in the past de stressed the point that the evil cade. It is sometimes known as Mr. Robert which at present exists, does not Inter-Pacific Trade.

owner-editor of the lie so much in the possession of Cromie,

one raw materials as in the absence Vancouver, B. C. Sun was

Its staunchest disciples. of open markets for finished of

and has died suddenly; goods, whereby payment

for He

the cause has lost a stalwart materials could be made. Lord lender. But another of same

ter subject in the House of which has won an increasing num- SIDE GLANCES By George Clark

The ELIZABETH ARDEN'S way, a former Governor of fun is making himself heard in

Wash the hands with LEMONIES SOAP as this is an excellent soap which cleanses and whitens the hands.

To keep them soft and smooth rub on a little MILK of ALMONDS.

NAIL POLISH, a splendid liquid polish, that gives the nails a smooth, smart lustre. To keep the cuticle smooth and unbroken CUTICLE CREAM is excellent.

cara.

Hongkong, suggested an open Washington, on the other side of door policy In the non-self- the international boundary, it is governing Colonies, and this idea true, but for all that none the less found.a considerable measure of impressively in Canadian support on the part of other He is Mr. John Haussermann, speakers, the argument being well-known businessman of the that there must be, on Britain's Philippines. He, like the late Mr. purt, real co-operation, shown by Cromle, believes devoutly in the readiness to sacrifice national ad necessity of raising the purchas vantage for the benefit of the ing power of the Asiatic peoples

(Continued on Page 4)

HAND CREAM is a smooth lotion, fragrant whole. What is essential in this and healing, to be rubbed on the hands matter, however, is to secure a after washing. It leaves the hands clear definition of the term But they would have to repre- velvety and smooth,

"Colonial equality of rights," sent some kind of secured Any sort of mere which is a formula that might finality. easily cover impossible demands. piece-meal surrender is unthink

Herr Hitler must say In this connection, Mr. J: L. Garable. vin, the noted British journalist, what he would like to have be comes down to realities when he fore we can begin to consider asks what Herr 'Hitler precise-practically what we might be ly means by it. The German | able to concelle." This is the Chancellor, he says, would have position in a nutshell. Economic to state the limits of his claims readjustments may be called before an inch of progress could for, and, assuming the working. be made, adding: "Britain can-out of a scheme of general ap not be the only nation to make plication, they might readily be Colonial concessions. The con-made. But before the issue cessions, partly, political, partly comes into the realm of prac economic, made by us and others tical politics there must In concert, might be pretty large. clear definition of terms.

PERFUMERY DEPT. Tel. 28151.

LANE, CRAWFORD, LTD.

be a

"I always hate to ride down on the same lift with our taipan. 1 never know what to talk to him about."

It is symtomatle of homo sapiens that, these grim facts staring him in the face and knocking at his reputed brain, he proceeds, not to try to cleanse the air, but to stimulate the British Medical Association to launch an anti-C3 physical Jorks campaign! How it can be expected to build up an Al population on that sort of breathing material passes comprehen- slori.

Big Business

We have by no means exhausted yet the conspicuous examples of Iromo sapiens's imbecility. An Ael of Parliament has just been put through, with nil the swift celerity always forthcoming, where Big Bust- ness is interested, which licenses oll- prospecting activities. Strong silent optimists are prowling the cholcest beauty spots still left in the hope of making successful borings and strik- ing oll in both senses.

It might be Imagined, in such an emergency, that prayers would be offered up in all churches that such. enterprises may prove a ghastly and ruinous flasco. America is a vast continent, and perhaps has room for prosperous oll-Aelds, But anyone who has either seen, or sniffed, those liquid El Dorados must be appalled at even the faint prospect of their acathelle reproduction. It would furn this country into a stinking eyesore. But, of course, there would be money in 1 And what homo sapiens is after all the time, before anything else in the world, is, boodle." He would-ond does-barter his birth- right of divine beauty or healing peace for a mess of dirty stamped.

paper.