THE HONGKONG, TELEGRAPHI, TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 1986.
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WROTE an article on this page last week on "If I Had a Son.
I foresee that this article is going to be more difficult.
Dimcult in the way that a watch is a more complicated thing to mend and get going than a cartwheel. And that, I take it, is a reasonable image of the difference between a girl and
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waiting rate.
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Now
a
*
if I had
daughter
by JAMES AGATE
*
un-
+
ik
A. S. WATSON & CO., LTD Open and Closed cars A man is much nearer the male people, who, I suppose, were as
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The
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TUESDAY, JAN. 28, 1936.
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. she should know, how to scrub, how
to make a poultice: she should read these quotations: and she should
wear her
eyebrows..
own
to
The rat is to enchant some man, and it may be that pluck-. ing the natural eyebrows and repainting them behind the ears is one way to do it. It is conceivable that a perfume with a name like Nuit d'Ostend
may also help. Personally I
3
have no desire to embrace beauty parlour, and the scent I like best is that of honest soap.
The second function is to bear children at not unreason- abic intervals. The third is to
be not only wife and mother
but companion, which includes the supremely difficult task of proventing the lord and master from making a fool of himself in the thousand and one ways to which lords and masters are prone,
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The summer's flower is to the
summer sweet,
Though to itself it only.live
and die.
NOTES OF THE DAY between the making of a girl's. make a poultice. Perhaps a I should try to model my little
BEGGARS ARE CHOOSERS
Yorkshire hand-incidentally
As for the lonely girl, I turn once more to Ruskin, that great demoded writer who has told us that Shakespeare has no heroes
"The catastrophe of
but only heroines:-
08
You can make a boy do what › you want (a) by clubbing him over the head, or (b) by appeal- gorilla? Not so. Any gorilla I ing to his better nature. You have ever met has known far can't make a girl do what you more about me than about his want by these methods (a) be- Missus. The pattern is com cause the thing's not done, and plete with the statement that (6) because she has no better woman and lady-gorilla, while. nature. She is a good or bad or drawn to different mental and both consistently and every spiritual scales, exist by virtua day, and has no better self for of their common femininity in
some strange dimension special occasions.
The first thing I shall ask the known to man, reader to realise is that the dif- ference in sexes is much greater
Let me illustrate the fore- than the difference in species, going with quotations from two gorilla than he is to any woman, widely different in sex, mind, character, habit, profession as This man and that monkey it is possible for two human have not only arms and legs, beings to be the actress, Sarah but masculinity in common. Bernhardt, and the philosopher,:.
But an ounce of practice is
But suppose says the reader, They are beings drawn to a dif- John Ruskin.
worth a pound of precopt. Just quick to catch one tripping- ferent mental and spiritual "Give me any young girl of as every boy ought to learn that she never finds a mate? scale, but having existence on average intelliger, e from any shorthand and typewriting, so The function of the lonely the samo pinne: Whereas French slum, and in twelve the first things a girl should woman, I submit, is to be suffi femininity removes the woman months I will turn her into a learn are how to make a bed, clent to herself and a delight to away from scales and planes and duchess!" Bernhardt used to how to bake an apple ple, how to all about her. into a totally different dimension say. But give me a butcher boy, sow, how to go down on her. of which man has no understand- and whatever I do he will be a knees and scrub, and how ing whatever.
butcher till the end of his shop. And it is in my view the Does the reader think that I career.
mark of the greatest lady that have overlooked the female Ruskin said much the same she best knows how to do these
In my reading I have known thing, only more beautifully things.
"There is just this difference My girl would also learn to three ideal women upon whom character and a boy's-you may family story may not be out of girl if I had one. Thoy are: A SAD DAY
chisel a boy into shape, as you place here. One of my brothers Lorna Doone, the perfect sweet- would a rock, or hammer him being desperately ill, my mother heart, Charles Kingsley's Mrs. The thoughts of Britons every-
Beggars are choosers. O, yes, into it, if he be of a better kind, descended into the kitchen to Leigh, the perfect mother, and Rudy Vallee & His Orchestra. where will to-day instinctively
as you would a piece of bronze, find why the young, starchily Jo March in "Little Women," turn to the Royal vault at Wind- they are. They choose very.care-But you cannot hammer a girl bibbed, colffed and cuffed nurse the perfect companion. "ACCENT ON YOUTH"
was so long away. She die sor, where, the mortal remains fully. For the last little while we into anything. She grows as a
have watched them at work in the flower does she will wither covered her going round the a beloved monarch, who
streets of Hongkong. There is without sun; she will decay in edges of a linseed poultice with ruled wisely and well for more une bright young chap, allegedly her sheath, as a narcissus will, if a fork, after the manner of than a quarter of a century, will blind, who selects with a nice judg-you do not give her air enough; cooks with pastry!
she may fall, and defile.her head My mother raised her heavy be laid to rest with fitting pomp ment the man or woman he intends in dust, if you leave her without
play is caused always by very and ceremonial. The occasion to bump and then, scarcely altering help at some moments of her she was one of the finest pianists folly or fault of a man; the re- will provide a last opportunity his course, he collides with some life; but you cannot fetter her: I have ever heard, having learn- demption, if there be any, is by of paying tribute and respect to violence with the victim he has she must take her own fair formed that art in Heidelberg on an the wisdom and virtue of a instrument belonging to Chopin! woman, and, failing that, there one, who spent himself in the chosen. The "blind" boy drops his and way. 7
And, last on this head, let mo and boxed the cars of that is none... Such, in broad enuse of his country and his Em-cane. The other party to the colli-{
light, is Shakespeare's testiinony sion, confused and mortified, give an example from real life, nurse! pire, and for that purpose there hastens to retrieve the cane and Some years ago a young actor The latter thereupon ahnounc- to the position and character will be, besides the bereaved on handing it over to the fumbling lost his wife in childbirth, and ed her intention of telephoning of women in human life. He re-
them at once offers were forthcoming the institute which sent her out. presents Royal Family, a notable gather-hand of the baggar it is discovered from the wife's parents and "No," said my mother, "I am go- faithful and wise counsellors
Infallibly ing of the world's leading per- that that hopeful young racketeer other relatives to take charge Ing to telephone!" The rest of incorruptibly just and pure sonalities, including ruling mon-has his other hand ready, for some of or adopt the child. The the story does not matter. examples strong always to archs of several nations. Here small compensation. Actually, it father said: "No! She is my Space is shortening, and I sanctify, even when they cannot
We have no real baby, and I am going to stick to have now to approach that save." Richard Himber & His Orchestra, in Hongkong, the day is being is laughable.
triple function in life for which
And even, I venture to add, simply and fittingly observed, in complaint against this youngster her!"
Since then he has hired a every girl must be educated.
when they do not marry. wishes of His Majesty King extend trembling hand and look whole army of nurses and gover- with pleading eyes. murmuring nesses, stuck to the child, and Edward VIII. Whilst the cus-"Cumshaw, taipan." Who can re-aroused the admiration of all tomary etiquette, in the form of sist that subtle flattery? Unless, his friends. On all hands his Court mourning, will prevail for of course, one is a taipan, and the extraordinary, and I can never THE wind howled and swirled beat time to the antics of the the prescribed period, it is the strategy may not be so effec-give him a bad notice.
round the little guard house cold, piercing breeze. typical of the thoughtfulness of tive. There again the matter of But is not this exactly what perched on the edge of the back Inside the guard-house another old the new monarch that, despite selection, of careful choice and we should expect a young widow of beyond. In the sentry-box the heavy grief which he has to mature judgment of character to do? Should we not take such outside the door stood a little old bear, he should let it be known comes into play. The wiser, the conduct for granted? Should I man, bent down as though all better the chooser, abate my critical rigours? Now the cares of the world rested on that he does not wish complete beggar, the suspension of business activities the bigger the bounty, one might tell me that the sexes are essen- his shoulders. His long white beard glistening with hoar frost on the day of his lamented say. No, we do not seriously com-tially the same!
They father's burial, due to the plain about these people.
The beggar to widespread hardship and logs are intellectuals,
whom we object is of the weeping which such a procedure would male variety-full grown and entail. It is His Majesty's wish husky,
often, who that his subjects should mark generally appears on holidays or the solemnity of the occasion in festive occasions from Heaven- such manner as each may think knows-where. And there is appropriate,, according to the another particularly objectionable circumstances in which he is type who sends small, grubby placed, well knowing, as he docs, children to do the work while he that the late King will be con- collects the profits. One such re- stantly in the thoughts of his rently despatched a dirty, ragged people throughout the day. Itboy of fourteen or fifteen years of will be a sad and Impressive age, who pestered a lady with a ceremony in St. George's Chapel sleeve, and when she shook off his baby-carriage. He plucked at her at Windsor, to-day, with the re-
hand with some Indignation, ha mains of the late King, conveyed struck her, and ran.
He did not to their last resting-place on the run, far; just around
a corner. same gun-carriage, which was And there the lady found him used at the funerals of his re-presently in conversation with a -vered-grand-mother-and-father, man-who-slunk-away at her ap
there to lie in the silent companyproach. These are the people, aly of many Kings and Queens, in-and, full of decolt, whom we should end of in this cluding four predecessors on the like to make an Throne King George III, King Colony. But the little, clever chaps George IV, King William. IV, who juggle or turn hand-springs, and King Edward VII-and his and the little girls who sell flowers, own mother, Queen Alexandra. offer you something for your Thus will be solemnised the last money and in all probability, are deserving of aympathy-oven act in the sad and sorrowful though they may support their circumstance which has plunged elders with an unearned increment. the whole Empire into vory, real
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grief at the loss of a King whose words of the moving tribute paid memory will long live in the a few days ago by tho Prime minds of his subjects. Here in Minister, never considered his this Colony, so far removed from own ease or leisure, and whose the Homeland, we shall pause senso, of duty to his people awhile with sorrow in our hearts, amounted to genius. Requiescat thinking of one who, to use the in pacel
conduct has been acclaimed as
CHANGING THE GUARD
SIDE GLANCES By George Clark
so sorry, Mrs. Lamb. I wouldn't have had this happen
for the world.”
ma, hale and hearty by comparison, paused in the task of whetting his scythe to consult the hugo time-glass which rested on the mantelpiece above the replace
"Nearly 12 o'clock," he muttered to himself." "The old fellow hash tarts to go now, Rest his bones.",
As he turned again to his scythe a small voice struck his ears.
"I've come to take over, sir."
"Oh, you have, hayo your And who might you be, my boy?" inquired the old man from the little fellow who had emerged from out of the point of his seythe,
"I'm 1936," replied the now arrival meckly.
"Oh, of course, to be sure," said the old man paternally, "I've been expecting you any moment. There's no time to lose. We'd better be ser ing to things."
Turning to the wall facing the fire- place, the old man indicated the helven of books with a wave of his whetstone.
These be the records of 1935 In the top row, my boy."
"You mean all theso big ones," in- quired the little fellow, impressed by the fat tomes which welghed heavily on the shelf."And what of the little 'thin one squeezed in .the end?" he added.
"Well, it's this way," replied the old man in a tired volce. "These big ones. ba full of the Good Resolutions of individuals and nations; of details of International Conferences on. Dia- armament and Peace, and all these things, and the little thin one at the end, taking it down and turning ovor: its dozen or no pages, "is a comploto: record of what has been done,
"I was half afraid of that," com- mented the youngster, stretching him- self to his full height. "And this is the mess I am left to clear up. Well, I'm full of beans. 1 let them sne. They certainly have been a poor bunch these last few years, dad. "But, I wouldn't nay:
began the old man, raising a
fin- _„_gør.
"Never mind buta' just now. Telf me, what are they saying about ma before I et going. I mean the poli ticians, and all those 'other would-be prophets."
"Oh, they are convinced that you are going to do great things, and that
Well, that's something to be going
on with interrupted the little follow.
Continued on Page 6.JKZO
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