1919-02-13 — Page 3

WHISPERED WIT.

There is much controversy over the Mons Star. Anyway it's a Man's Star. Ask a Scot!

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Now the Military brass hats are changing its name to 1914, or 1915 Star, and so on.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,

First you're Mons and now you

Are

Changed to dates of years in

plenty :

We'll yet see one for 1920.

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The ribbon of the Victorian Order is officially ordered to be worn in front of the D.S.D. and the M.C. And why not? · An order of a dead and gone. (and little regretted) period is surely of more importance than a more European War or of heroes that earned those coveted honours.

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So many orders and decorations are дом being distributed funearned in the tattlefield) that it would be rather nice to recognise the merits (or d-merits) of every erstwhile food hoarder by de- corating him with a Food Order!

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The Conscientious Objector's Anthem. "God save our skin! Well, they hure saved their skins

(and they are right welcome to

the tough morsels); but they have lost their votes.

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Even thus they are better off than we in Hongkong, for we

A haven't a vote to lose.

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I have actually heard women boast that they never dye. What a horrid ripe old age they will live to bel And the man of immense girth circumference, toiling up a steep hill on a hot day, cannot say he does not puff. While on the face of it women

cannot deny that they do.

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To the amazement and indigna- tion of the officials in a London Court of Justice a cockney wit- ness recently took the oath in this fashion: "The trufe, and numin but the trufe, so elp me Bob!"

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Q

The troops in France were forbidden to take cameras into the line under penalty of courtmar- tial. Wore the heads afraid the Bosches would be "camera'd "? Ask a trench soldier his opinion of it and he will say, "It's all Bosche!'

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When the Bosches over-ran and looted French and Belgian towns they were full of wine. And later, when our boys tickled

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1919.

Twice Welcome when You

Bring Victor Records

No matter how entertaining you are, you link yourself with the greatest of all entertainers when you bring with you some records for the Victrola.

Everybody likes to hear new Victor Records because they bring the art of the world's greatest singers and instrumentalists into the home. Your thoughtfulness and good taste will be appreciated and the records will give permanent pleasure.

Drop in the next tîmè yon para this way and let us play resurda that will please you and your friends. We have a very fine stock and it will be a pleasure.

to serve you.

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MOUTRIE'S

Exclusive Agents.

GORDON'S DRY GIN.

BOTTLED IN NEW YORK

"CONNOISSEUR'S CHOICE."

STOCKED BY ALL DEALERS.

Sole Agents

H. RUTTONJEE & SON.

Wine and Spirit Merchants.

There is a moving picture now

their ribs with their toothpicks, being shown called "The they were still full of whine. Cigarette Girl." The title is interesting and speculative, but

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GENERAL NEWS.

"TREATED LIKE DIRT." General Sir Archibald Hunter, in an interview amplified the reply he gave to a heckler the previous night as to why he resigned the Gibralter command.

The French people, as a nation, not exclusive. For nearly every enter more into the joy of living young lady in these modern times and are of a sunnier nature than is a cigarette girl. we Britishers. Why, they can express more joy in saying their Although this is winter time, simple "Oui's" thau erer an Eng-we shall be able to enjoy Somer The General had said that he lishman, does in grunting his at the City Hall next week. Let resigned his command because thanks for a fat cheque. How is us hope he will have a warm re- i the Boldiers were treated like dirt. He explained that Heading from an English news ranks broken, and the native guards were interfered with and With branches of industries al-paper: Remarkable feat of a ready sprouting in parts of policeman!"-I have always police offered co redress. Eng- Brassels, it must be a case of heard a lot about them, but I fail ish ladies were spat upon, the to see that they are any different population was really anti-British

it? Perhaps they will give us the ception. wheeze.

Brussels Sprouts.

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And the people of Ostend are unosten(d)tatiously reconstruct- ing their city ready for business.

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Both there and at Havre, there

are the delights of unlimited mixed bathing. The mixed sweets.

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to other people's.

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and pro-German, forgetting the prosperity the garrison brought The prayer of armed robbers.-- them. It was false to suggest

Let us prey.

SIMPLE SIMON.

STATE-OWNED CANALS,

of bathing! Gee! I would like to Mr. G. N. Barnes, speaking at halve the enjoyment there in the Glagsow recently said he was .coming Summer.

that he could not get on with the people. He would not see insult being continually heaped brave men.

PRISON FOR HEROES.

02

At Portsmouth recently two glad to see that milways and sub-lieutenants, George Arthat cacals were to be nationalised. St. George, R. N. R., 20, and Francis Welter Beauchamp. Mr. Lloyd George and Mr. Cheers.) The railways were Bonar Law at Downing Street the main arteries of the country, R. L.M., 20, pleaded guilty to

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endeavour to crack a Reform nut

B. L." Ob, George !"'

L. G.:-"Oh, Lori'

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Social

The proof of the whisky is in the tasting.

on a

and it was absurd that they from a Souths a shop. They stealing a ring valued at £18 should have been for so long in! asked to Bée. Some private bands and private control.

engage- They had not been worked in ment rings, and made off with the interests of the community, for £15. The defending solicitor one which was anheequently sold but of the shareholders, and canals

said the whole thing was done had been closed because they competed with certain railways, and with no idea of criminality. mad, saddea impulse, Potential Bolsheviks in Eng-He hoped and looked forward, as land express themselves as un- the result of nationalising rail. Both men had rendered an hon- ourable account of themselves on satisfied with eight working hours ways, to an immense stimulas to active service.

Beauchamp w38 a day. Is it because they hate this country's industries, and

along with it he believed they in taking a trench. St. George at Gallipoli, and suffered agonies working any hours a day?

ought to develop the canal system The Bore My friend Potts to a much greater extent than volunteered for dangerous, work tells me he composed a delightful hitherio. (Cheers.) We had a second in command of a launch on the Belgian coast and was piece of dance music called great deal of material to bring in the Zeebrugge and Ostend Potsdam" What do you think from France and the devastated raids, being mentioned in dis of that?"

areas of Belgium. As soon as The Sufferer Reverse it!TM.

patches. Accused, were both possible the national workshops

sentenced to two months, imply should be lad on to the making

sonment without hard labo of rails, locomotives, and eve thing necessary to into unde

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WINCARNIS

NOTICES.

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4. HE JET 99 SINTU not Pressit shot by ad vnged at the rati of two esata par wo d}

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SIX months from 1st. April, FIVE ROOMED furnished House on the Peak. Drawing & Room, Dining Room, Three Bedrooms Large Garden and Tennis Court (Grass). Apply Box 106 c/o Hongkong Tele- graph."

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JAPANESE COOK and BABY AMAH. Send full particulars and state salary ax-

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FOR SALE.

peated to Box 107 c'o" Hongkong FOR SALE --No. 9 model

Telegraph."

DIODESAN BOYS SCHOOL

WANTED-Oos English Tea

cher (Lad))t, begin duty! on Febius y-17. 18 9.

One Inglish Teacher (Lady) to begin duty early in March

Apply to-

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Hongsong Telegraph."

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JANTED-Bottles for Min- Iral Waters-10 & 12 oz. Codd's-Reply giving prices etc."

Rev. W. T. FEATHERSTONE to Box 110 c/o "Hongkong

Headmaster.

Telegraph."

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TELEPHONE 1186

BUENTS LFOQCHOW, AMOT, SWATOW 12 GANTON, BRITISH AMERICAN TOBACCO Co.

SCOTT'S EMULSION !!

We have just received a small consignment of the above in $ 1.50

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Tel 345.

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22, Queen's Road Central,

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just received a consignment of

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AND

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HONGKONG DISPENSARY, TEL. 16.

E. HING & CO.

SHIPBUILDING MATERIALS, SHIPCHANDLERS AND

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25, WING WOO ST.

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