1901-01-12 — Page 5

MISS BUNT AND APPEARANCES.,

"Appearances, though deceptive, are essen- tial," enunciated Miss Clara Bunt, whose own outward seeming was certainly not calculated to deceive. "Appearances," she added, in tones defying contradiction, “are everything"

Her friend, Miss Adelia Browne--an over grown spinster of large figure and meek man ners--assented sinvishly.

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, SATURDAY JANUARY 12, 1901.

The other, who had discovered a bottle of spirits, made no objection, and the worthy pair adjourned to the kitchen, were a slight applica- tlon.of steam from the kettle left on the range gave Simmons access to the telegram.

Here he started up after drawing it from the covering and porusing it. "Here-we've got to put all the swag where we found illain't the kind for to touch

"Why?" demanded Bowlder amazedly. "Because I says no," retorted the other dog-

And it says no?"

"You do put things so concisely," she re marked: "but I have lost count of the boxes.gedly. How many are there?"

tried, and had failed. And now she would fain have knelt and have pressed her lips to the little white hand, humbly, reverently, as to something sacred. She would not dare now to touch the face that she had turned from in disgust it looked so white, pure, she would have feared to defile it. "Defile!" Yes, that was the word that kept beating itself on the girl's brain as the stood there and looked | down Undefiled, undefied, a little child undefiled."

And where were now her sapient remarks as to the desirability of cheap funerals for the poor? Gong, utterly gone. She was indeed stricken dumb, and stood there silently gazing, her eyes wet with tears. And at last, as many before her have done when the feeling of their

themselves with household work, etc., when, not-so employed. This is how one of these young women, seeking a situation, describes her endowments:-

"Young lady of engaging manners and appearance would like engagement with latly, boarding-house keeper of middle age, to amuse guests and generally assist in management Can play piano (vamp) and banjo.: Fair voice, Good render and reciter. Cyclist and good walker, Smart at amateur acting and chara des. Gan carve; play cards, draughts, domi«; toes (many games), and billiards (a little). Taste at laying table and good talker. Easy to get on with, and would willingly meet suit pble.lady over any little points.'.

This is the sort of person, it seems lo in difficult and trying negotiations with foreign

powers'"-Cassel's Saturday Journal.

For answer Sinunons removed his coas and "There are boxes which are not boxes." The other prided herself upon discrimination in rolled up his shirt sleeves. If you says no, definition. "There are only three boxes, and Sam," he remarked during the process, you fourteen packages which have been boxes-best put up your hands-we've fought fore" besides a basket containing a cat or dog." he added unconcernedly, "and can fight again."littleness is borne home to them, she uncons-me, who would be of use to a government

"The outer casing which contains a soul, "I never!" ejaculated Sam, staggered his

indeed, but true for all time, for all ten- as Mr. Killaby beautifully puts it," quoted Miss friend's determination; " is she in our line arterously used the words of another words, old Adelia, who inclined to romance, and admired MI?”

"For of such is the kingdom of Heaven." But some one heard her. There was a sud- the local poet.

den sob, a sound as of the breaking of an ice of distrust and despair, and the mother tumed away, her shoulders heaving, ber face buried in her apron; and a cry rang out, as exceeding bitter cry :--

E weren't much to nobody but me, but I loved 'im an' I wants im

Miss Bunt looked severely at her. "I think Adelia," she retorted, Mr. Killaby did not re- fer to packing cases."

Perhaps not," her friend responded feebly, "but see see! there is a cab drawing up."

"No," roared Simmons, and the message ain't for me or you either to get fust. I'm goin' to take it to the garding party myself. Now," he continued, ignoring the other's expression of surprise, "is it fight or t'other thing

Meantime the vicarage garden party had be come the scene of much excitement. Mrs.

Miss Bunt, from the vantage provided by the upper bay window of No. 5, Belgravia Quadrant, Hayton, who had been asked as a matter of Bridgeford, surveyed the arrival at No. 4-form, had accepted the invitation without where the luggage commented upon had just knowledge of the rumours which Miss. Bant been discharged of the vehicle in quesiton. had put about concerning her. On account of Surely, Miss Browne spoke again, "surely these, her reception front the notabilities of there is a husband...the person is paying the Bridgeford was frigid in the extreme, and find

ing people so stiff, she was preparing to leave calman herself"

the grounds when she was stopped by the vicar in person, accompanied by the sergeant who acted as head of Bridgeford's police, and fal- lowed by a crowd of guests, of which Miss Bunt and her friend were the central figures.

The person referred to a tall, dark girl, whose face seemed curiously careworn for her age-passed into the house before Miss Bunt replied.

"Husbands, that lady then said didactically, "are not essential but desirable."

"Oh my dear."

"Permit me to finish, Adelin. Desirable I was going to say when a wife is entering upon a fresh residence, taken furnished. That is, of course, where a husband exists."

"And you think there is none

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"I did not say 50," answered Miss Hunt: "the person, I understand, is named Mrs. Hay ton-we shall call together, Adelia." And, ac cordingly, some days biter, the two leading spinsters of Bridgeford found themselves in the drawing room of No, 4, Belgravia Quadrant, interviewing the newcomer.

"I hope you have good news from Mr. Hay- ton?" queried Miss Bant, after the customary conventionalities had been spoken.

"I have no news," Mrs. Hayton answered,

starting at the question; her eyes, too, showing a suspicion of teais; indeed," she added, " live in dread of news."!

Miss Bun! pursed her lips preliminary to some caustic retort to this-to her astounding declaration. But Miss Browne spoke first.

"It must be terrible," the latter remarked, "for you to be alone-there are such horrible tales of burglars in the neighbourhood, I look myself under each bed every night," she asserted solemnly.

Why?" Mrs. Hayton smiled pleasantly "You couldn't get them to come out if they were there."

Come out?" cried Miss Browne;" should hope not. I should faint if one did such a thing."

Mrs. Hayton laughed. She could not help it."Yours would be a safe house to rob," she commented, and thereafter the conversation languished to a close.

Adelia," Miss Han: summed up her opinion as the pair left No. 4, where is that woman's husband, and why should she not be afraid of burglars? I believe her husband is one, and she is in league with them."

II.

If tumour has a hundred tongues in other places, it has in Dridgeford almost as many as the town's inhabitants. Therefore when fiss Bunt conveyed this opinion to Miss Browne, the latter in veiled language which exaggerated the possibilities of the situation, passed the in- formation on to her maid-not to mention others-and thence it percolated onwards until it reached the ears of a certain Mr. Edward Simmons, who was in a position to know the truth about the burglaries Miss Browne had | referred to.

"Airs. Hayton," the vicar began, hesitating- ly, desiring to make what was as unpleasant situation as little so as possible, "would.

-you. mind giving the sergeant, here a few minutes in my study before you go?"

The lady, glancing from the stolid officer to

alarm.

the crowd obviously filled with curiosity, tak

For what reason?" she demanded, drawing herself up and meeting the clergyman's eyes unflinchingly,

The vicar paused before answering, and the sergeant, who had been in trouble over the burglaries, and was lieen on any possible trace of their perpetrators-put in a word.

You best come quietly," he said; "we have information you must clear up."

Mrs. Haylan turned on him. "You také too much on yourself, my man," she retorted

coolly then to the vicar, "If any responsible person desires any explanation from me your know my address," and turned to go.

Miss Bunt stepped forward. "Stop her" she ordered, or we may all be murdered in our beds."

The sergeant barred the way; the vicar mised his hand deprecatingly-and a maid appeared with a telegram.

A man left this just now for Mrs. Heylon," the last said, and the lady, seizing the message, tore it open.

"Read it out," she exclaimed, after glancing at it, "read it out. I see some meddlesome people, she added, with a little gasp, have been in some way misrepresenting me-message is about my husband, We were married just before he was ordered to the Cape."

She covered her face with her hands as the vicar read

"Captain Hayton, Blankshire Tegimens, severely wounded, but doing well, and recom- mended Victoria Cross. Oficer Commanding desires this should be communicated to you. Secretary for War,"

The vicar held out his hand to Mrs. Hayton. "Apologies," he said, with feeling, "are nimost useless, but some people should make them on their knees." He looked round for Miss Bunt, but that personage, accompanied by Miss Browne, was already on her way to the gate.

As for Mr. Edward Simmons, he had later on an opportunity of explaining his action in the matter, when a plea of "extenuating cir cumstances" became of advantage to him.

"Tweren't likely," he made plain then, "as was to make trouble for the pore lady by liftin' of her stuff when her husband was 'urt fightin' for the country as I belongs to myself Hang me chuckled Mr. Simmons to his ain't perfect, but I'm no Boer neither chum Sam Bowlder,. "Hang me if Bill Vokes | India, don't tell me as how some folk is sayin' the new woman at Number 4 in the Quadrant has got the stuff we've had. Vokes' daughter's keepin' comploy wi' the grocer's lad, and Miss Drowne's maid told him as 'ov 'er missis 'ad told her."

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I'm blowed," Sam exclaimed, "if ever I heard the like out of a story-book-and us thinkin' ' wishin' No. 4-just like to take away the stuff. Wot a joke!" and again Mr. Bowlder gave way to mirth.

But his comrade checked him, "It's wot the bentry calls a go-inside-uns," he remarked, and werry remarkable, but we best talk busi- ness. Are we to work No. 4 on Wednesday,"

"Aye,” returned the other, "the lady's goin' to the garding-party at the parson's and the maid's to be 'lowed the arternoon off-so her young man, as I stood a drink to, says. The back-kitching window's loose, and the back lane handy, so we steps in as gal goes out. What d'ye say?"

する

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"I'm on assented Mr. Simmons. This conversation explains how when Miss Browne, passing along with Miss Bunt, on the way to the garden party at the vicarage, glanced up at the windows of No. 4, she saw a man's face peering from behind a blind, "Look,

'JACKY."

"Yes, Miss, I'm glad the Society can send me and Baby to the 'Ome for a bit; but won't you walk upstairs?"

So spoke Mrs. Bunt, à sad-looking young woman with a quiet voice, to the girl standing beside her, and they began to tail up the many stairs of a model lodging house. At last Mrs. Hunt stopped at one of the doors, but before turning the handle she hesitated a moment and said, "You know I lost my Jacky yester day. You won't mind, will you? And then she led the way into the dingy little top back

room.

The girl glanced around almost nervously," for this was one of life's realities that she had never met before; but there was nothing alarm- ing in the sight of the little coffin resting on two chairs. Yet, somehow, it made her feel strange, perhaps because it was such a very little coffin. Mrs. Hunt, however, did not seem to notice the addition to her furnture, for she asked abruptly, "Will they want me to take slippers to the 'Ome, for I 'aven't got none," and her voice was quite composed, although a trille dull and hard. So the girl pulled herself together, and a serious discussion followed as to the advisability of buying cheap shoes in the Edgware-road, or of getting a second-hand pair off a friend.”-

Clara" she cried ; " whoever can that be?”

The face had disappeared, but not before Miss Bunt caught a glimpse of it. The features -those of Sam Bowlder-were neither hand- some.bor good, and. Miss Bunt's theory as to But all the while that she was speaking, the the occupant of No. 4 was unfortunately streng-girl could not keep her eyes from wandering thened by Mr. Bowlder's appearance.

"Adelia," she said concisely to her companion, J my suspicions are correct-that man is n burglar: probably the woman's husband."

III.

,"

Inside No. 4 there was hot recrimination, "Yer might keep yer ugly mug out o' sight,' Simmons said to his partner. "Tain't any too and they two as passed has eyes like awks."

it's done, anyhow," retorted the other im penitently. "You" leave-my" face alone, Ned, and let's get to work. Wot's fust 2

"Oh, I wants 'im!

And this is how it came to pass that the inquiry officer of a certain society failed in her important duty of advocating thrift and economy among the London poor.-P. M. Gazetic.

READY TO DO ALMOST ANYTHING.

SITUATION-SEEKERS AS SELF-DESCRIMED.

BOB IN LOVE.

My brother Bob is always falling in and out of love, in fact he lives in a chronic state of rapture or despair. Sometimes I find it rather trying to have to accustom myself to his sudden changes of mental atmosphere, but good sisters always accommodate themselves to their brothers' mental atmosphere to prevent storms. Bob is fair, fat, and fourteen, with a top hat, an Eton suit and a round self-satisfied eye.

Yesterday morning he flung himself some- what suddenly into my bedroom.

"Can I come in, Dat?"

.י

"Well, dear boy, judging by your proximity to my dressing-table, which is a long way from the

"Ob, siow it. Dot1 I hate your beastly long words, they're such rot. I only thought you might be faking yourself up, like Celia-taking In the course of a long business career a gentleman, now retired, has had the curiosity of your back hair, or putting on your com to collect together specimens and notices of plexion, or something of that kind."

My back hair is permanently fixed on my applications for situations either peculiarly worded, or which present some other similarhead," I said with dignity," and so also is

Celia's, and as to our complexions——_-" distinguishing feature.

"You will see," said their owner, "that there are men, yes! and women, too, who are ready and eager to undertake simply anything. Some of the accomplishments of these people are varied almost beyond belief. Here, for instance, is an example

Bob grinned-"Celias' got a false curl, saw it sticking up on a hair-pin like a sausage, jolly unnecessary, should have thought, 'cos' she's got a lot of hair of her own, but girls are such blooming idiots."

He rose as he spoke, and, strolling over to my dressing-table, looked fixedly at himself in "In reply to your advertisement i beg to the glass. There was nothing particularly say that I desire to occupy a position of trust. exciting for him too look at, but he was Eleven years confidential clerk in present situa-evidently deeply interested. tion: seeking to leave only to better myself. Commercial experience London, Dublin, Edin burgh, and on Continent. Best houses. Fluent French, German, Italian, and Spanish, Good book-keeper, shorthand, and typist. Will sign pledge or abstain from smoking if considered an advantage.

"This was evidently, an accommodating as well as an accomplished individual, but I once knew one to beat him. This man answered the advertisement of a big firm for a foreign corre- spondent, and his letter ended-'

**If there is any question at all as 10 religion, I am entirely broad-minded and would readily adopt any that pleased you.''

"Whilst some applicants approach potential employers timidly and with absolute fear and trembling, others, as it were, smack familiarly on the back the people, they are writing to Said one young man, in answer to Clerk Wanted':

mean-y, Dot, do you think I'm—at least, I I don't think you're at all good-looking if that's what you mean, Bob."

He glanced at me with contempt. "Good-looking? "he said scornfully, “Who wants to be good-looking? D'ye' think I'm a girl?"

He looked suddenly rather foolish. What 1 meant was, if er-you didn't know me, Dot, would you-oh! hang itwould you think me 2-2-inngly-looking sort of chap?"

"I might if I didn't know you," replied sweetly. "By the way, Bob, who is it this time? What's her name?"

Bob's eyes became rounder than ever, - "I'll tell you what, Dot," he said, looking at me with open admiration, "you may not be as good-looking as Celia, but you're a jolly sight cuter."

"Thank you, Bob," I said politely-"I will describe her to you shall I? She is tall and fair and has fluffy hair---"

He positively gasped. "How the dickens did you know?"

"Farce of contrast, my good boy? the last one was short and dark."

I am venturing to reply to your advertise- ment in the hope that my letter may perchance arrest your attention. I am sorry to say that I have not had more than seven years' business experience, but I think I may honestly claim to be steady, sobor, willing, energetic, an carly riser, small cater, medium Bob, sat down instantly and became con. smoker, truthful, careful, vigilant, and respect municative. ful. Shorthand and typewriting I do not know.. "I met her in church," he said confidently; ut I shall be pleased to learn them if you" she sits in a pew in front of us, and she's per select me and wish it."

fectly

stunning, will show her to you if you like,

"A model character this, evidently. He went on to All op four more pages with patient, observant, faithful, etc., and finished with this humble hope

I do sincerely trust, however, that you will pardon me for the great-liberty I have taken in replying to your advertisement.'

"One is prompted to ask what did he imagine the notice was inserted for if not to be answered?

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gently removed the bat-box containing my best hat, and pushed a footstool towards my

brother for him to kick instead.

That will be very kind indeed of you dear Bob,” I said gratefully,

"Right you are," he replied, and went off whistling contentedly,

Not long afterwards, Mamma and I went down to stay at Eastbourne, where Hob is at "Now for the other style of correspondent, school. Having a half-holiday, he was strol the man who at once puts himself on good|ling along the Parade with me, when he sud- terms with the advertiser, or at any rate, denly pinched my arm violently. I bravely deludes himself with the idea that he is so suppressed a desire to scream and gave a gasp doing -

instead.

Saw your advt. this morning. Offer my- self. Four years-junior, three years clerk, merchants' offices (3) Wide awake, eye to save employer's time, brain, and purse. Smart, intelligent, understand at a wisk. Warrant to effect improvement in any office in a month. Maxims Anything save time and trouble; Shortest cut good enough for me; study master's interests first, self last. Shall I come fortnight on trial?'.

"A gentleman I know well in business is also colonel of a Volunteer regiment. This fact was evidently known to a man who answered an advertisement for a cashier, for, after men tioning that he was not a civilian soldier, the applicant cheerfully offered to become one if this would ensure his being taken on.

“As is well-known, however, it is the foreign"] clerk who puts forward the most surprising programme of this description. Here is a copy of a letter sent not long since to some leading houses in the drapery trade :-

“Bob, how dare you?" "Hush!" he whispered, and I saw that he was not even aware of having pinched me. Hush, Dut, there she is-quick-look-isn't she a stunner? Don't stare so he added fiercely.

I glanced at a tall, rather plain looking young woman with rosy cheeks and a very small sailer hat who was coming jauntily towards us. "She is quite stunning," I replied emphati- cally, inwardly wondering why one's young brothers invariably exhibit such strange taste in womenfolk, considering what nice women they often marry later on.

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"His name is Captain Farlham-er-Tom," she added shyly; and he's in the Navy, and we're to be married in a month, because he is going abroad again. Do say you're glad, Miss Anstruther. I'm so happy."

►

"dancers is the same as in waltzing, the lady starting with the right foot, the gentleman with the left, the actual step of the dance being the same in both the first and second parts-A.

India,

THE MEM'S NIGHTMARE.

"I wish you every happiness, and I am very, very glad," I said with a heartiness born of the knowledge that she would never become my sister-in-law. Presently she sprang excited to It was sinelly, stuffy, sufocuting, sultry- her feet. “There he is-son the Parade-hesweltering night in Singapore, the City of stalo I promised to be there-but he is early," And Mongolian stenches. she went off to meet her lover!,

Mamina and I went home the next day, and a few days later I received the following from Rob, heavily smudged, and evidently written by one in pain

Strictly private.].

Thieves, cockroaches and nightjars were abroad. pursuing their customary evil prac tices; several thousands of bull-frogs (with a powerht American accent) were saying. Wa'at Wa'at?" in nasal chorus, and here and there a group of dissipated cats made the hideous night yet more hideous. The clock struck two.

Dear Dat-An awful thing has happened met "her" last night at the Simpsons'. She spent nearly the whole evening talking to that The Mem slept. "That is to say, she lay in s beastly little whipper-snapper Fariham, and I sodden liver-begotten stupor, breathing ster

common: substitute for tried to interrupt him two or three times, but torously. (This is could not get a look in without being downright slumber in these parts). Her hair-what was rude, which, of course, wouldn't have done left of it--was scattered in thin streaks across [excepting to a. sister's" admirer, eh, dear the mildew-stained cotton pillow, and a stray Bob. I hear that she is engaged to him. mosquite, which, with devilish ingenuity, had The little beast is, I believe, coming into a contrived to invade the sanctity of the protect lot of money. Of course, she wouldn't care in ing curtain, clung, sanguinary and trumphant, the least for this, and he might have talked her to a juicy spot on the lady's ankle. Others over, he is such a fearful gasser. No chap with of the tribe less fortunate-glared in imparent any decent modesty gets a look in with girls fury through the netting. nowadays.

I'm awfully unhappy, and don't care about the Eleven now, or whether my grub-box

BOR. coines or not.

1 could not help feeling deeply for my brother, as this seemed far more virulent than any of his usual attacks, and I wrote him a very sympathetic and touching letter. In fact, worried a good deal about the poor dear boy and only recovered my spirits on the receipt of the following epistle, which I received about.a fortnight later:

Dear Dot--Please thank the Mater" for the grub-box. It was jolly nice of her to remem. her all the things; but the cake might have been a bit richer. Can't you give a private hint to Mrs. Clarence to put a bit more grease and a few more plums in next time? And tell the Mater if she could spare a bottle of cherry brandy it would be jolly useful. Thanks for remembering cigarettes and ginger-breads. Wo shall be home on the 11th,

P.S.--I have something stunning to tell you, so you might come by yourself and meet me in the cart alone. Your affectionate brother,

Вор

Bob came home to-day. "She" is short and dark, and he tells me she smiled twice at him in church last Sunday; he is consequently in a temporary state of absolute beatitude.--. R. Neish, in the Rangoon Times.

REALLY NEW DANCES.

HOW THOSE WHO "TERP" WILL TRIF IT'

LIGHTLY THIS WINTER,

Already weekly dancing assemblies are being held in the majority of the town halls and pub: lic buildings in London and the provinces, and it becomes possible to obtain some idea of the dances upon which Terpsichore has set the finger of approval.

Interviewed on the subject,, Mr. G. F Hughes, president of the Association of Tea chers of Dancing, said that the Association had already awarded prizes for the winter dances.

Mme. Theaker, a popular teacher of dancing in Sheffield, carried off the first prize for aquare dances for her "Britannis la Tributs," and this promises to be a real success....

Although, says a Home paper, the figures appear to be intricate at first sight, their some what military-like evolutions are in reality. suprisingly simple and easy of acquirement Four couples take part in "Britannia la Tribute." The figure in question is thus described in terpsichorean language.

Four couples heel the, heel toe to partners with their inner feat, then make your chassies to cross each other, lady in front, both facing the same way. Repeat with opposite feet to recross (8 bars). Join right hands with comers, HOLDING THEM UP

and looking through, to advance (a bars), retire (2 bars), balance (3 bars), allemande and bow bars). Repeat three times for ladies to get to their own places and partners. Grand ring to left for final (8 bars),

A feature of the dance is the song that should be sung (though the dance is complete without it) in the fifth figure in honour of Britain's brave soldiers.

-

This dance ought to be performed with gusto at the various functions held in honour of the return of the C. 1. V...

%

Mr. Hughes has high hopes for the Albany, 4"square invented and arranged by Mr. H. R. Johnson, and danced under his direction at the Holborn Town Hall with great success. -- It is a "square" comprising four figures, which are danced straight through without any intervals, Charming items in the figures are the Berlin polka, the valse, and the ham dance Introduced into them. Indeed the Albany may well be The beauty passed us, throwing as she did called a contradiction in terms, for while fils so a slight smile in Bob's direction. He flush.quare dance in the aggregate it is a round

in detail. ed'ail "over his face. "I wish you and the Mater would get to know her and ask her to come and stay with us, Dot; I am sure the Mater would like her," he said eagerly,

"I am sure she would," I replied pleasantly, only might'n't it be a little dangerous with Tom at home"?

"besides

Bob sniffed. "I don't suppose she'd be bothered with a chap like Tom," he said with brotherly contempt; "he's too beastly con ceited. I think I am more: in her line-ch, Dat?"

Much more," I replied gently; you're so beamly modest"

say, stow it, Dot," said Bob;

come on, she's turned to the left, if we go down the High-street then we shall meet her coming back-come on." And we turned down the High street.

了

The Baden-Powell schottische is so gay and irresistible that many couples after watching it for a few bars join in and find themselves accomplishing it with ease. Practise it at once The instructions are simple.

The lady gives her left hand to the gentle. man's right

right foot at the same time beating with the First Part. The gentleman springs on the left foot in the fourth position, the foot slightly turned inwards (count 1). Next spring" and beat with the left heel in the fourth position, the left turned outwards (count a).

......

Spring on the right, bring the left to the AR position in front (count 3). the fourth position raised in left front. (count Spring on the right, cant the left outwards to

4)

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So near, and yet so far!" they shrieked, "So near, and yet so far! Bizz-z-z!"

The Mem was dreaming. That is to say a combination of pressed crab, cheese toast and tough beef was working to produce feverish and fantastic illusions the clouded brain of the sleeper. It seemed to her that she was in the Kim Seng road, or rather, in the swing through which that perfumed highway runt. She was standing up to her knees in the inky slime, and her costume (she dream!) was that of a public rikisha coolic, plus a five guinea d'aris rogue and a long white feather boa. It did not occur to her that her toilette was not entirely suitable to the occasion. As a matter of fact she was engaged in fishing for anchovies, using for this purpose a butterfly net bailed with cholera microbes. Presently she looked up, and there, on the bank, stood ao Honourable Member of the Legislative Council, watching her. He, too, was strangely garbed (chiefly in tinfoil) but he bore himself with dignity, and bye and bye opened his mouth and spake.

Are you aware," he remarked, that the fish- ing in these waters is strictly preserved ?"

"Anchovies generally are!" replied the Mem, lightly springing upon the mangrove roots and making a grab at a passing snake..

The Member of Council frowned. He was wondering whether he really and actually saw that snake or whether

"Ahem" he said, "Are you aware that Blank Dash has been nominated for the -Municipal Presidentship?"

"Good God!" shrieked the Mem, falling backward into the swamp.. For some moments mud and enction rendered her speechless, and the silence was broken only by the "Ptah Ptah" of a distant "bullockcart driver as he urged on his patient beasts and sought to ens courage them to greater speed by brusquely twisting their tails.

Ahem said the Member of Council once more, after turning away his head modestly, the while the Mem re-arranged her toque. "Are you aware that a rikisha coolie uses 50 gallons of water a day, and that you might, (he eyed the wreck of the lady's costume)" do worse than follow his example?"

The Mem-snorted.

"It is six miles," she said," from here to the nearest standpipe, and the Singapore-Kranju railway is not yet open." -"

Then the scene was changed and she found herself in the Museum, seated on the back of the stuffed rhinoceros in the atrium. She Beckoned imperiously to one of the library attendants.

"Bring me," she said," such-and-such a book, by So-and so. I see it is most favourably reviewed." "It is not in the library," was the reply. We have not got it The Mem raised her eyebrows. Then bring me Whate-his- name's latest." "It is not in the library. We have not got it." "Surely you have Thing.um. bob's travels?"..

"It is not in the library. We-" But, with a thought,) back into the swamp, but she was low moan the Mem had fled. She fell, (as she mistaken. It was only the Ladies' Lawn Tennis ground

Suddenly the air was riven by the clash of cymbals, the thud of drums and-enchanting sound-the shrilling of bagchanting sound! the shrilling of bagpipes. The Queen, the Duke and Duchess of York, the Dowager Empress of China and Mr. Hugh Clifford had arrived! Scenes of the wildest enthusiasm immed lately prevailed, Her. Gracious Majesty, however, on discovering that there was no Diamond Jubilee Memorial in the town, at once returned to her state room on the Victoria

and Albert, and turning her face to the wall, ever smiled again. The Mem, in an agony of loyalty, resolved that she, at least, would show her sovereign how things ought to be done. In five minutes she had collected from, the crowd the sum of $100,000,000,000, every cent of which she immediately invested in Chinese crackers, "I alone," she said, "shall fire the pile." And she did.. People in Java thought the Day of Judgment had arrived; and, as for the Mem herself, as she hurtled through the dir in a state of disintegration......

"Oh she groaned as she sat up in bed, again must the cook give us Welch rabbit for holding her fevered brow, "Never, never, dinner"—S,F. A.

Intimations,

NOW READY.

AN ACCOUNT. OF THE... · RECEPTION OF H.M.S. "TERRIBLE," IN HONGKONG AND THE

THEREWITH,

"FESTIVITIES CONNECTED

WITH A WE WOODCUT OF THE "TERRIBLE,"

PRICE 30 CENTS

"Wishing to better myself beg to offer my services for your office. My qualifications are:-Correspondence in English, Italian, French, and Spanish. Book-keeping; single and double entry, balance sheet accounts, car rents, auditing, invoicing, entering, interest, discount, exchange, decimal system, etc. Ship ping sale and urchase of floating material, every now and then towards that other corner steamers' accounts ela.

freight and insurance of the room, and suddenly she began to realize brokering

Commercial, to with astonishment that the coffin, though smail, years' experience as general and commission was made of polished oak with silver-plated merchant, import and export, Continental and fittings, and it rested on black draperies. And other foreign markets, produce brokering. Large then the girl remembered that she had seen a connections amongst importers and exporters* The next day, strangely enough," I was in:

Pas de Quartre step forward (count 4). baby downstairs decked out in crape and black of green and dry fruit. Foreign weights and "troduced to Robert's divinity. I found her very

Repeat from the beginning with the right ribbons, and alis knew that this must be Jacky's currencies, etc. General office work: type pleasant and greatly amused by his attachment foot (count 4), baby sister. How could this mother, be so writing, etc. Undeniable, testimonials and to her..

Second Part-The gentleman takes his part- very foolish? For Mrs. Hunt was a widow, best references.

What a dear, funny boy that brother ofner as in the ordinary waltz. Pousette. who supported herself and her little ones by The following advertisement is a good yours is!" she said, laughing. 1 do wish with the right foot.

The stops are the same for ladies, beginning

for ladi doing mangling: If she worked all day and specimen of the 'anything to get on variety though, he would not waste his money on buy. | the greater part of the night she could not hope ****German gentleman (27), tecks position of lng me satin boxes of chocolates and putting Mr. Blackley, the Inventor of the R.P. and to earn more than sight or nine shillinge a week: any sort in merchants' offices. English, French, then in my pew, because this it a dead secrel, winner of the first prize with it for sound "Dinin room sideboard," returned the other, And yet she could afford to indulge in high-Spanish, and will perfect in Norwegian if of course, Miss Anstruther, for I would not hurt, dancer at the conference, hails from Lanark To be obtained at the Ovrice of This Paper .“then the trinkets in 'er bedroom; then the | class funerals,

desired. Would sleep on premises or board his feelings for the world-bui 1 can't bear and has, therefore, very properly given a very drawrin' room that's the programme. And And as the girl thought on there things her with employer or live out. Long bours no chocolate,"

sprightly character to his composition. keep you away from the windows," he added | heart hardened, and she deemed it her duty to objection. Used to Sunday work." Early risen., I thought with greater regret than ever of The coillon de la cour" La Barquise, warningly.

give the woman a few words of advice on the Moderate salary for immediate employment. the sovereign I had yesterday sent to Hob, and should appeal to all who admire subject of her extravagance. But the words "Such a man would probably not long groaned inwardly when he showed me the THE STATELY IN DANCING, would not come. For somehow that incon- remain idle, you would suppose.

large blue plush bag of chocolates he had Rows and curtseys are frequent; indeed, thefe venient little-lump in her throat would return |-*I have mentioned that women in a some. bought with it, but I dared not tell him how | is so much circumstance in the Introductory when she thought-of this woman's desire to what limilar manner not infrequently exhibit shaky his investmenyed on for several weeks to pervade. Is the graceful-figure this is what movements that the atmosphore of courts seems honour her dead even at the cost of the living. an anxiety to perform almost any work. Well, Mamma and I stayed for Simmons cautiously reconnoitred from the She could almost hear her say, "Has my little you next havez reply to a 'Goversiess Wanted at Eastbourne. One day Bob's "attachment" happens ́shelter of the lower bay window..

boy bad so many luxuries that you grudge him advertisement

came up to me while I was sitting reading on All join bande in a circle, pain round to left "Telegrapht boy," he informed Bowlder, | a decent burial ?” And the girl could not speak. “Can undertake English, French, drawing the beach! She seated herself next to me, w

with with Cachuca step (3 bars), "balance forward, waiting behind him; "let im ring-he ain't Now, when she had turned to go, and had piano, mandoline, and violin, Would instruct a radiant smile.

and back (2 bare), and, tour de main with right. paid to wait, and won't,

even laid her hand on the door, Mrs. Hunt said daily in gymnastics: Willing to take children must tell you what has happened, Miss band in next places (4 Bars); rejoin circle and A This prognostication proved correct-the suddenly, almost harshly," Perhaps would like for walks to own time. Some knowledge of Anstruther," she said, laying her band for a repeat, taree times more till r

Own lad, after a final peal which echoed and resto Bee im. And before the girl could reply, hammered brass work and string knitting moment over my book. Do stop reading places (74 bars). *

More regaining echoed through the empty house, pushed the the lid of the coffin was down back.

Good tennis player, fair hockey and golf and 1 | and talk to me; you always are so sympathetic Yet another new dance is to be looked for, message into the letter box and departed What Was that still little form, that white would be pleased to instruct children in Fand so nice to me, and I am so very, very ¦ when learned it too will prove its title to be no whistling Simmons moved to the hall and face, almost terrible in its loveliness-was that these extracted the yellow envelope from the recepthe noisy, dirty imp she had seen not many

"You may

know that at some boarding Ing. I think faust and looked at me blush. misnomer. It is a "round" called "La Fascina

must have a knack of penetration," in two pants, for any number of couples: tacion

days before? It seemed incredible. She rehouses, more particularly where there are going the deep recesses of the human heart. ** Inthe first part (8 bars) the dancers move round - "We're time enough',” he remarked, "and" "membered in wonder that she had tried to grown-up daughters, and at some good country. What is his name ? ?.. I ́said, "and when it ; in circular,direction with the right hande joined. To be obtained at the: Office pfi This I'm for sesin, who the lady Here may be bring herself to kiss the face that had been | Lotels, more or lost accomplished young ladies, it to come off?” and I gave a sigh of sisterly tour do main, beginning with the right foot. Ins preps this may tell."

almost repulsive in its Bith and ugliness; bad are engaged to entertain the guests, busying | sorrow for poor Bob as i spoke-

Hongkong,

The thieves started to ransack the house, And the battered leather portmanteau in which they stowed their booty was about half full,

when there came a thundering ring at the front

door bell

MORE CETONEM happy." She

the second pan (8-bara) the position of the

As only a limited number have been printed intending purchasers should send their Orders early, for the issue of this interesting souvenir) will soon be exhausted

Hongkong, est Pine, 1900,

NOW READY.

A PAMPHLET

0%

SOME SERIOUS LOCAL PROBLEMS

FEW SUGGESTION FOR DEALING

W WITH THEM, THA BEING A LECTURE DELIVERED

WOMEN BEFORE

THE ODD VOLUMES SOCIETY

MYTHE

POLLOCK, Barrister-at-Law

PRICE 30 CENTRE

Jusa, 1900,

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