1.
SOME RARE OLD JOKES."
'PRANKS THAT DELIGHT THE ENGLISH
GENTLEMAN (?).
Américans do not understand practical Joking in the fame sense that it is understood in England, Practical Jokers who tried their pranks, la the United States would probably receive a reception that might astonish them. In England practical Joking seems to be the summum bonum of many
men's lives,
THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1891.
out and sat in an armchair swatting develop ments. A short time afterwards the bell began to toil. A cautious search located the bell, and the grating of the wire was distinctly beard. He then quietly adjourned to the washstand, took his water-jug and went on tiptoe to the door, which be silently flang open. In the dim light he saw two female figures sitting
་་
his pocket. He did ible, and findlog the matches Lockwood, do you think breach of promise cases had been tampered with, concluded that-some-are increasing?"
"I don't think they are. A limitation in the practical joke was intended. He put the lights
right of action would, of course, bring about a have been engaged in some large reduction. canes of real hardship, but I think most actions are brought by adventuresses, for whom actions would then have small pttraction."
"But might not there be an increase by more ges of real hardship coming into Court? If the trail of the adventuress were not over it all," poor, but respectable girls might be readler to avail themselves of the law,"
"That might be occurred to me before."
cross-kesed on the flor. The start caused them
both to lose their balance, and before they could recover themselves he poured the contents of the watering over them, the result being a succes: alon of piercing shrieks that aroused the haute- hold. The next night his bed was found full of feely cat bristles, the irritation canted thereby preventing sleep for the entire night.
Practical Joking in England, however, is by
Officer no means confined to private houses, to the army are much given to the fos, and their jokes are usually of a great deal rougher description than those played in country houses.
At a country house in England there is certain to be a good deal of prae ical faidag, particularly If there is one man who is considered "slow" In Kent, not long ago, when a cricket week was In progress, a guest bat the bad fuck to facur the il-will of the rest of the party. He declined to stay up late in the smoking-room and refused to jln at a game of cards. One night after he had gone to bed the rest of the men gathered at bis door, and finding he had retired, went in and carring him and the bed bodily down-stairs and out of doors, where they carefully made up his bed, with him in it, in the middle of there York World. cricket field.
AM INIRVIEW WITH MR. FRANK LOCKWOOD,
MOC, MP.
depressedy did I something was hanging our ins. I could not sleep at night, and got so bad that I even dreaded going to bed, for I would lie awake for hours in all together, and on rising in the morning I felt worep tied than when I went to bed. - 'As years went on 1 became a bad colour, my skin and particularly the
• yellowish colour, whites of my you wore tinged of a and at times I wan; an yallows a sovereign; 7IETH August, 1880; my stomach bone very irritable
and everything that I took tomed sour on my stomach, and I was constantly romiting a fani bitter folik, дам I took little or no nourishment, and after col porsal
I of arm liquid food: 1 strained and vomited inalde would come out. The
if
១០
Fatigations.
HONG
KONG
TRADING COMPANY, LIMITED.
DRAPERS OUTFITTERS TAILORS SILKMEN FURNISHERS.
the point has not my heard now became so aerere that I becam FOR THREE DAYS ONLY
What do you think is the predominant feel ing in the profession on the subject 7"
"If it were likely to reduce the number of acilons, I suppose many of the youner men would not be in favour of the change. But 1 belleve it would have the support of most of the
professional men now in the House of Commons,"
* *: גל
(UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR.)..
NEW YEARS GIFTS
AT HALF. THE MARKED PRICES.,
alarmed and sent for our doctor, who attended me for ten or twelve weeks, but all the medicins be
De Rate me did
no good. The doctor Boumor! my complaint and obsaged, the madidine over end puzzled with over again, but still I got worse infowd of better, At last I lost all faith in physie and gave up taking it. Now better, now worse, I continued until July
became stooted." had dreadful pain water My skin was dry and hot, my lips jimrabed and forerlah After a
ter a time the water lodged so
should have died, I grow weaker and woskor vary day, and felt that if a change alla mat that I thought I not soon take plaas my sonditisa would be oritical forteren bide to lie in bed, sand had to get out of bod was more than I I could boar. I could. not even
nothing than and, walk about the room took all kinda itie is not likely to arouse in the soul of the lowliest and I dragged on in the midral hopes are circumscribed by the stoke-hola. Ho has no horizon whereon he may print dream pictures of a better future. He may not aspire to any-
15 in the book, and could not vold my TOYS AND CONFECTIONERY,
STORERS ON FAST SHIPS.
The lot of the fireman aboard a modern racing toller is the lurid, anventilated icke-beles of the old-time craft, has a mild suggestion of
fabourer ashore feelings of unmitigated envr÷H" "o", sent me a book: telling of a marin
In the same country house, in which practical | BREACH OF PROMISE ACTIONS. #teamship, compared with that of the grimy Joking has full sway, one of the 'guests was walking downstairs in response to the gong, which had sung for dinner. The chief farceur of the party was a small Guardaman, whe seemed to be be hippy only when formenting other people,
The guest in question was a peaceful man, on whom the farcaur had had his eye for some thime. Catching up with him as he was going downstairs, he seized the talls of the evening coat, and, with a quick jerk of the wrists, tore them right up to the collar, seized the joker by the nape of the neck and proceeded to kick him, with deliberation and penetration, downstairs into the hail, where the other guests were considerably astonished at the unceremonious entrance of the practical Joker.
Mother
· Cass, similar;
D
of
The nest did not lose bis temper, but quietly # Addle when be might well have conducted the always a fireman, The limitations of his life-ommenced takime go bottle of the Byrup, and
Among the anluckly victims of last session's chapter of accidents, it may be remembered was the resolution against the present law of Breach of Promise of Manlage, which good Lockwood of Sir Roper Lethbridge, Mr. Frank Lockwood, content in the modesty of his soul to play second orchestra, was to have seconded this resolution, and unkind, Indeed, were the fates which deprived the publicof bis speech on this occasion. Alloding to these things (writes a contributor) while on a visit to Mr. Lockwood at his seaalde résidence rear Scarborough, a conversation ensued, of which the substance is as follows :—
"Had you seconded," I asked, "Sir Reper Lethbridge's resolution, I suppose the act would the Breach of Promise law
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1986, when Mr. Day, the olime at
Curativo Syrup, and
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to find relief bagan to BOOZ food ligested
better. and paint in my back and side left ma could now
me aleeg better, and
every and better, and gradually gained strenge when the than ever I was in my life, and by taking an occasional dose I have since hapt, in
health. I may mention that I paid over siz pounds to one doctor beneft whaterer I feel, vozy and did not receive any
received hers recommended the mediein's to many
I wish others Belgol's grateful for the great beneilt I have.
and
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Ware, Uring as Kork, was cured of sever dropepels this statement others may be benefited I shall be wary after every other means had Emiled. If by publishing
and I hereby give permission to the proprioters of Belgel's of this testimonial, and I unke this solemn deolatation conscientiously ballering the same to be true. By virtus of the Provisions of the Statutory Declaration Act, 1886, (Willam IV. c. 62.) Declared before meat Leeds, fu the County of York, by the said Margaret Morland, on Monday, the 10th of August, 1891. (Signed) As, Goo
that in the house was a guest who, for some have amounted to a declaration of war agalot is not highly complimentary to the staker, but it this district with great benefit. My Pos
A good story is told of "Bay Middleton, whose name is England is a bousehold word for jokes and escapades of all kinds. It seems reason, did not bring a smoking-jacket with him, and committed the heinous effence of appearing. "No: I am not in favour of the entire aboll In the smoking-room in a dress cost. Bayton of the law, only of a very considerable limit
in
Middleton vowed vengeance against, bím, ation. That is to say, I would limit the damn- fireman's existence, and made a fize-roomad, Sup to misks any use they may think fit
he sid
coat,"
and promised him, that if he repeated the offence he would tear the coat from bis back. The following night the man appeared in the smoking room very late, wear ing, as usual, bis evening cont. He took his position before the fireplace, with his arms on the mantel-plece, gazing comtemplatively Into the fire and presenting his cost talls in a tempting fashion to Middleton. The offer could not be refused, and "Bay" seized the coat tails: and split the Boat up to the caller. The victim Dever moved or said a word... The jike seemed· De ali mome one naked he of the split cast why he did not make any objection, upon which Why should I? As I came down stairs I went into "Bay's room and put en dis evening
Bay Middleton once, when staying in a country house, amused himself by painting a large cllection of marble statuary a bright pes green, for which pleasantry he was elected the following morning by the irate cwneK,
One dural house in Scotland bas a great reputation as a resort for practical jakers, and one never knows when there, at what time he may be made the butt of his fellow guests: One man who objected to be "draw" was tabooed br the party and strenuous efforts were made to get rid of him. But he was one of the adhesive Kird. He considered that he had been invited to stay a fortnight, and a fortnight he would stay, One of the jokes played on him was to remove the buttons from all his clothes, including his trousers, a fact which he only discovered ben about to dress for dinner, which necessitated the use of about three den catch-pins to enable him to appear at the dinner table Short hales were plated in his bed. Booby traps were held for Lim. Ha cartridges were found either dampened or else filed with sawdust. In fact everything was done to make life a burden to him. One night he was told that the party Intended to turn out and "draw"! him, whereupon the barricaded the door with furniture and underwent a siege, the door being cut down with hammers and hatchets in the endeavor to get at him, the host and hostess jolning In the so called amusement.
The stout eak bureau placed against the door, however, realsted all attemp's at demolishment and the min remained comfortably ensconced in bed during the night. The next morning, when he returned from a stroll in the garden, be found all his luggage had been packed up and was downstairs in the all waliing for him. This was too strong and he departed.
..
|
CON-
ares recoverable to the actual pecuniary loss which the plaintiff could prove, allowing nothing for so-called Injury to the feelings tingent loss. For instance, if a governess or a nurse purchases a trousseau and resigns her slination in order that she may marry a man who afterwards throws her over, she should be able to recover from him the money expended and compensation for the loss of her, sitastion, At present there is no proper messute of dum ages at all. It all depends upon the caprice of the fury, the prettiness of the plaintiff, or other extraneous circumstances. The idea in the minds of most furies is that the plaint! must be compensated for what she has lost by not marrying the defendant, and in fixing the amount to compensation all sorts of exaggerated estimates of the man's means are accepted. For Instance. It is said by the plaintiff that she was told be bad foo a year. This is not evidence ; but the defendant not caring to go into the witness box and anbmit to the cross-examination, it goes to the joy that the plaintiff has lost a husband with £500 a year. Then, if the man's conduct has been very bad, she will get still heavier d-magen; whereas in that case the has really lost nothing at all, but is well rid of bim." "Yes; but in such a chao has not the law a healthy detenent effect indirectly, of course, in detering other men from making promises which they never intend to falsi.”
Mayor of Leeda.
(Signed) Margaret Morland."
for its accuracy and truth. Mrs. Morland's malady, going declaration by his wife was read, and Youched indignation and drapenis, is suficiently common and fatal publicity to any remedy that will cure it. Hence to make it a duty to give the widest
thing beyond the kindred occupation of test stoker, says the New York Sun. The engine room is forever closed to him. It is, once a fremind, devoid of domestic ir fluences have, doubtless, helped to brotalize him. A man without a vista s not likely to have a high standard of morality Few in authority on shipboard, had a good word to say for the steker of the past, who spent his leisure ashore in drinking faset off and brawling. It is not exactly so now. One British gentleman compared with the cattleman. This skipper has even declared that the sloker is a
tends to show that he is not the most degraded of the toilers of civilization. Since the architects of the great twin-screw ships recognized the in which an ordinary man may live for a dime, the fireman has Improved somewhat. In dispelling the gloom of the fire-room the ship builder shed some light into the soul of the fire. man. In an atmosphere made breathable by huge ventiliating faas, and cheerful by electrie lights when the furnace doors are closed, the fireman can do more work with less fatigue than formerly. Of course, it wasn't pare philantrophy, that RAYO him ventilation.' The big fans, making 400 revolutions a minute, were made primarily to force air inte the furnaces and burn coal, so the throbbing is a farmer, well known and highly respected. He Mr. William Morland, the hutband of this Indy, engines might do all the work that their am- bitieus designers expected of them. The coll Hays Park, seventeen years, and in the district
has lived on, his present farm at Threstle Neat wation of the spirit of brotherhood, through the He. He was present at Leods when the fore Firemen's Union, has also done much towards making a better man of the stoker. All the big steamship companies now practically recognize the unfob, and on all ships of the twin-screw fleet only union men are employed. Fighting the anion, whose men are natural fighters, has proven expenelys to the steamships, which not infrequently have last two days on a trip because green men were before the furnaces.
On the steamship City of Paris there are sixty firemen, who feed the fiery maws of Efty-four | CHINA COAST METEOROLOGICAL fornaces that create steam in nine steel bällers. Fifty coal passers shovel the fuel from the bankets to the furnace doors and the firemen You mean in the same way that capital toss it in. There is something more than mere punishment is said to have a deterrent effect. It shoveling th firing. The sloker must know how may be so," added Mr. Lockwood dubiously, to put the coals on so they will not burn too quickly or deaden the fire. He must know how Then, with all the vigour of his fire velco, to sile or poke the fire so as to get all, or nearly But the object of the civil law is not to punishall, the caloric out of the coal. He must the wrong foer, but to make amends for the know how to obtain the best results from the Wrong Without any definite principle before Welsh coal he burns on the voyage to this them, Jarles, in antcasing damages, naturally act port and the American coal he uses on the upon the feeling that the man who has behaved trip eastward. Each kind requires different very badly should be well punished and handing. Often the result of a race east- consequently & gli is heavily compensated ward has been determined by the superior because she has not become the wife of a man knowledge of the handling of American coat with whom she wou'd probably have been
possessed by the winning ship's stokers, To a most unhappy. On the other hand, a decent,
man who thoroughly understands It, firing Is respectable man who, having committed an error of judgment, has done his best to make amends, easier than it used to be. But it is nevertheless Is let off lightly, and for the loss of a really good, husband the girl gets the smallest compensation Were the limitation I suggest 'adopted, the law would only attempt to give compensation for a less that was well-defined and clearly proved,
*But in the cases of long engagement, when girls lose, perhaps, much of their youth and beauty would you make no allowance for what is called loss of opportunity?'"
#I think it would be scarcely practicable. You In the same house one day, at luncheon, couldn't say that there should be so much com- ple appeared on the table, being placed opposite pentation for a year's engagement and so much a rather ne vous old lady, When the pie was more for a two years" engagement. At the cut it was discovered to be full of live frogs and present time, as you know, Jurica do take into mice, which jumped and ran in every destions rermalt? The pretty and clever girl in tests account loss of apportunity, and what is the causing great havoc among the women guentu.
A very dignified old gentlemen staying there moves the jurymen's hearts; and, although she had the pockets of his overcoat filled with red could exally many someone else she gets three barrings, and two particularly fine specimens times the amount that is awarded to her plain were tied to the tails of bis cont. When he and uninteresting sister, who will probably never went out he was followed by all the dogs in the have another chance." country.
From your own experience, Mr. Lockwood, An apple-ple bed is an ordinary mode of amure do you think that there are as many cases as is ment in houses of this kind. It consists of sometimes asserted, in which—an action probably arranging the sheets in such a way that the meaning bankruptcy-men are coerced by the victim, on getting into bed, finds himself in a bag - law into unhappy marriages?" and has to take all the clothes to pieces and "Yes, I am sure of It, and of the misery that rearrange the bed. The pastime of "cold- pigging is one tiful amures small minds, and sometimes, it is true, leads to awkward scener, It happened in one case that a young man who, Anxious to return, with Interest a lady's bath sponge that he had received in the face while asleep, on going into the young lady's room, her going through her ablutions without Found
the sponge.
so arduous that the veterana are not over 45° years old. Nearly all the stokers on the Cify of Perit and the City of New York are between 20 and 30 years of age. They receive $ao a month and their board. The leading stoker gets a few dollars more and does not have to work quite so hard. He is usually the eldest of the crew he directs. The coal-passer, the Umit of whose ambition is to become a fireman, gets $17.50 a month. The leading coal-passer or
immer gets a little more than this.
Service in the fire-room is divided into six
watches of four hours each. The firemna werks frst day from port, two out of every six furnaces and sleeps every alternate four hours. After the
hour of each watch. Thus, in a voyage, all the are raked out to the bare bars during the first furnaces are cleaned once in every twenty-four hours. The stesin goes down a bit in the hour while the cleaning is going on. The perspiring stokers shovel into the furnaces Afteen taas of coal every hour, or 340 tons a day. The ship usually taken in 3,oco tons at Liverpool, and has between 500 and Boo tons left in her bankers when she arrives here.
The engineers' department is entirely distinct and separate from the Bremen's. On the Cily of Paris there are twenty-six engineers, including hydraulic and electrical. They are educated in engine-shops on shore, and a certain number of them go on ships every year. They down they know how to repair the damage. In are all machinists, so whenever the ship breaks
case the chief edgineer should be disabled any
assistant could take his place.
THE PRINCE OF WALES SPEAKS
ON HEALTH.
In his able and timely remarks st the opening of the International Congress of Hygiens, at St. Jama's Hall, London, August 10th, 1891, the Pre- ellent, the Prince of Wales, sald The highest possible prosperity is when rich and poor alike can da ruch useful work as they are fit-for, and to this and it is attential that they should enjoy the dark porrible health and vigour,
follows. But a worse evil of the present law is the blackmailing, it enables the adventuress to practies, of which there is much more than many people suppose. Only the other day, I. wa
married man who was threatened consalted by with an action by a woman who had been governans in his house. According to her story, the submitted to him on bis promising to obtain a divorce from his wife and marry her; Well, I Not long ago a fary of respectable London don't believe any fury in the kingdom would trad, wamen was trying a divorce case, and were have bellered the story, but the man shranie puzzled by the attempted explanation of certals from the social disgrace and stopped the action embrates by the respondent, who was a married by the payment of a large sum. You'll say the man, offered a young lady staying in the same man had acted shamefully, and so he had, but house, which he described as only exacting if you are going to punish him, it should be by a the penalty after she had been caught manipulat medial enactment and not by such extortion ing his beets into what is known as an of course the whole of the law us to seduction is apple-ple bat
weak anomalous and in need of reform, Met Ons favorite amusement is to put a roosterTo what extent do you think the Breach of into a hamper underneath a nerwows old woman's Promise law is at variance with the general bed so that a daylight the rooster. crows in principles of equity?" mellifluous tones, to the ghastly fear of the old "Well, it is part of the law of contract, and lady. The bird is always Sat made drank by yet it is different from all other contracts giving it blacuits soaked in alcohol, so that it bring an action against a tradesman fox breach may not make any nose previous to suits of contract, I have to prove the actual das
One brilliant Joke perpetrated on an unfor have suffered, and I can recover nothing beyond tunate was to fill the top of a shower bath with, the amount of that loss. Lord Campbell's Act - Ink, the result being that tite victim neatly died | Dilpitzaten the principle I would apply to matri-
of blood-poisoning::
monial action a As you know, before this Acy if a men were killed upon the railway, his Most practical Jokes seem to emanate Scotch country houses. In one of these, which relatives could recover nothing from the dome to be haunted, bell wrapped pany it was thought that the right of ..was supposed
In fachel would be hung behind the wardrobe action died with him. So if the Company killed and & wire passed through a hook in the floor their man they were ever so much better off than outside the door. The box of matches would if they had merely injured him: But by Lord Indigestion, and liver complaint. I was never pro be taken and the ends dipped in water, nullify. Campbell's Act the widow or say other relative paixell but alla billete in the monen and
gain strength, I had a bad taste Ing thele striking qualities. As soon as the who may be bene dependent upon strange sinking feeling at the pit of my stomach. victim had relied to bed the young ladies of deceased man for their support can compel had always pain after eating, no matter how sluple the house would cautiously emerge from their she Company to make good their pecuniary loss. the food. My appetite was poor and Helle zooms and commence tolling the bell, the Bot only for their pecuniary loss-nothing I ate did not seem to give me strength. I had great
in the chest and aides, and fall as if I was AER -Writer" was staying there he was warned by'u that shattered feelings cannot well be taken into
friend before starting to examine his matches somo «zbatore bu went to bet, sad se here a'iupply tal "As the integrias_seninend in these cases, Mer, be and very often found no sare until Jaramitad
Yery true, but how can the pubiks health be best promotedt Clearly by such prevent!re mere as the Congress meets to consider, and by reliable- remedies so long as certain, disam sentiune - to prorall.
We rubmit an example of the later necessity in the form of a statement which cannot fail to continos the minds of all who may read it.
[COPY.3
1, Margaret Morland, of Throstle Heat Farm, Hays Park, now Knaresboro', Yorkshire, do solemnly and sincerely declare as follows
"I have mufared all my life from a work stomach,
sound being muffled and ghostliko - When the allowed for grief and anguish. It is recognisad ↑ pound my waists was zonek troubled with
food bed
our mention of the above osse in connection' with the work of the soolety of which His Royal Highness is PresidentAds.
t
REGISTER.
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Notices of Firms.
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W. H. WALKER, ́ Secretary, Hanging 28th December, 1891.
[1350
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NOTICE.
•Ex556
THE Undersigned has This Day established saakeleModdler sia percutings of intention she himself as AUCTIONEER and GOODS
kundity of she maturated with molatera bebug son, aurDirector,
of the wind se ama pelaaja vage of the wind somBETW-BROKERAS SOME LACHI
Banzbet pake Boostata of the weather 3 Bias dy, a Desachad clouchy of Extering vala, Fog, # Obony, & HERE, 13727 METER.
** Tilly, w Dew: wiki, podela bi lachen! Latha and hundradali.
Hongkong Observatory, jo0th December, 1895,
My
HONGKONG TEMPERATURE
(From Menu, Osa. Talomar & Cal's Ragiste))
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«day's Advertisements
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GEO. P. LAMMERT. Honglong, 7th December, 1891. (1484
na welted NOTICE
MX Bay, HENRY HUMPHREYS, wa Madmitted into Partnership with me on theast day of July last. Make funky bag wit
JNO. D. HUMPHREYS. |Hongkong, 12th December, 1891.---
PHE Bailors heretofore carried on under
'Henceforth be conducted under the name of
John D. Humphreys & Som. 1.
Bult IQHN D. HUMPHREYS & SON,
Hongkong, 12th December, 1891..:- F3516.
1525
Hotels,
THE SHAMEEN HOTEL,
BRITISH
CONCESSION, CANTON.
TRHIS FIRST CLASS HOTEL, admirably Vsituated within a few minutes walk of the "River Steamer Wharves, is now open to receiva
LA GOVERNMENT NOTIFICATION","||
"No. 5371 Blogger g MATH reference to Government Nothicrafty, as Rod-rooms are cool, airy and comfortably "fdenished, and the spacious Dining Room, Sitting Von No. 51g of the gth December, tegus Rooms, and; 4000ramodajion: generaly will be and ALD END the Ugo for recarga land equal to the best Hotels in the Far East Ing SEALED TENDERS for the purchand of Tas Table D'Hote is supplied with every the OPIUM: FARM has been extended to the Thay là, season, and the culine is the capert 19th January, 190s, the leaders already received ericodsenden deireann 12 miles in being considered antinfartory, Artioler) What, Splitta, Malt Liquors, etc, of the best
By Command AURAZINE 363W, M. GOODMAN“
APPOINTED : BILLIAR ZOOM;
ROZARIO,
- ANZ Acting Colonial Secretary "Colonial Sectmary's Office, d) Chrfar
33
310) Droember, slotį
tembar,
are its property solely, and that any Manufac tarer using the same or any Person or Persons other than the Customers of the Firm found fa possession of the same will be proceeded against as the law directa"
"'À, H. MANCELL vintoloita Secretary, Hongkong, 18th August, 1897, 13 d. (rian)
DENTISTRY,
FIRST CLASS WORKMANSHIP
AND MODERATE FEES, A
MRWONG TALFONG,
Surgeon Dentist, (Formerly articled Apprentice, and latterly assistant to Dr. Rovers), HAS REMOVED TO
THE BANK BUILDINGS, QUIIN'S ROAD,
(above Messrs: Dakin Bros. of Chins, Ld.). CONSULTATION FREE
Hongkong, 17th July, 1891.
NOTICE.
- JEYE'S BANİTARY COMPOUNDS COMPANY LIMITED.
JEYE'S WOOD FRESERVER OR: DEVONZANTISEPTIC PAINT, CUVOTS
PYHK-Undersigned kava“
appointed (SOLE: AGENTS
all these PERFECT, DISINFECTA
prepared / to a supply to quantitión
A
are
femme for Bhipping and large SHKENT RAWLAMBO Sanitary Pangla london, saya
›G=HUMPHREYS & Co.
Hongking, 19th June, 1988,
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