RAS-2001 — Page 276

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2 FROM "HMS PINAFORE" (with apologies to G&S)

I am the captain of the Bhutan tour

And a right good captain too

I'm exceedingly polite, and I think it's only right I command a right good crew

He's exceedingly polite and we think it's only right

He commands a right good crew

Even when I've had a beer I never never swear whatever the emergency

Though "Bother it" I may occasionally say, I never use a big big "F"

What never?

No, never!

What, never??

Well, hardly ever!

Then give three cheers and one cheer more

For our captain, dear old Brian Shaw

Give three cheers and one cheer more for good old Brian Shaw

I do my best to satisfy you all

And as a group we are quite content

You sometimes complain and I find it quite a pain near my progenitive implement

We sometimes do complain and he finds it quite a pain

Near his progenitive implement

I got meself a bell, and it's given you all hell whenever I have something to say

I'm sure you will agree if you listen carefully you'll learn something more each day

What, always?

Yes, always!

What, always??

Well, sometimes!

Then give three cheers...

I'm sure you will have seen that I'm always very keen

To get a good punctual start

This little bell of mine will keep you all in line like Napoleon Bonaparte

This little bell of thine will keep us all in line

Like Napoleon Bonaparte

I'm sure you will agree that my wife Felicity is worth her weight in gold Wherever I go she's usually in tow, and she always does what she's told