1936-12-09 — Page 2

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WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 9, 1936.

HONG KONG DAILY PRESS

AMUSING ADDRESS

AT

ROTARY CLUB

"Oddities Of Audit"

MR. P. L.

COLLISSON IN HUMOUROUS VEIN

Rotarians and guests walo gathered at the weekly tiffin of the Hong Kong Rotary Club held in the Hong Kong Hotel Roof Garden yesterday, were kept in the best of spirits listening to a most amusing talk on "Oddities of Audit" given by Mr. P. L. Collisson, 0.B.E., Colonial Auditor. The speaker recounted his collection of reminisences and there was laughter, practically every other minute.

summarised in four words, "Mind

your own business."

Mr. W. N. Thomas Tan (President) was in the chair. During the tiffin, Baron J. Beck- Frier, a visiting Rotarian. who was unable to stay throughout the meeting as he was due to sail for Shanghai in a few hours, express- ed delight at being able to attend and hoped that they would all meet in Shanghai in the future. (Applause).

The Chairman welcomed Rotar lans N. V. A. Croucher and Yuen back from leave and two visiting Rotarians, Albert J. Tallle, of Call. fornia, and T. W. Ong, of Singa-

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THE FUTURE OF AVIATION

Developments At

Home And Abroad

Marquess Of Douglas And Clydesdale's Views

"I do not believe "there is any immediate risk to this country of war, but I am convinced that the greatest deterrent to any aggres- sion against this country is first to have an overwhelming force of bombing aeroplanes and secondly to have 1 frst-class 'fighter' force," declared the Marquess of Douglas and. Clydesdale. M.P.. when addressing the Contempor- Andrews on the future of aviation ary Club of the University of St.

from nätionial and international standpointa.

The Marquess said it was a great tragedy that civil aviation took second place to military aviation throughout the world. Regarding civil aviation, he was not one of those people who believed that aeroplanes would become as comm mon motor cars Or take the

In another Colony a Retrench- merit Committee recommended a an urgent economy the total abolition of the Audit Department," sold the speaker, "The Secretary of State did not see his way to go quite so far as that, appointed the as Auditor and immediately on my arrival I Wes co-opted as a member of that Retrench-place of motor cars. He was ap- ment Committee. So I reckon I palled at the very thought that

was one up!"

"But I claim with all humility The following guests were in-

that the value of audit cannot be troduced:-Eoh. Mr. Edwin Taylor | reckoned In terms of dollars. (Colonial

pounds. shillings, peace or even cents," said Mr. Collisson.

Treasurer). Hon. Mr.

R. A. C. North Secretary for Chinese Affairs), Messrs. C. Elaker. B. Artington, B. E, Maughan, Hans Arns, G.. B. Gord Hull, J. S. Ho well, U. Sz Wing and S. E. Edgar.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

"A certain general, not appre- į clating this once proposed the abolition of an audit office because in the preceding year it had cost

some thousands of pounds and had only disallowed about £500. The answer was prompt, and the in- ference to be drawn from it

body."

The Chairman announced that the Secretary of the Club had re- ceived a letter from the manage-obvious; Your army last year cost ment of the Hong Kong Hotel to 30 milion pounds and killed no- the effect that the cost of the tlin will be raised from $1.75 to $2 as from next week. "I suppose the Hotel raust have reasons, per- haps best known to themselves," he added.

1.

"One qualification of an Audi- tor." he said, "is that he must be able correctly to add up columns of large figures. This I must confess, I have found most useful

private aviation could ever become the danger of congestion in as common as motor driving. for the air would be very much worse than the dangers of driving on the roads at the present time.

As a private, aviator he Lad had found it extremely useful, but flowri as much as anyoody and he

one great drawback was that the

private avlator could not rely on regularity. He was dependent to a large extent upon the weather, and to fly in rough weather with reasonable safety he would require ta be equipped with wireless and to be an efficient wireless

would not be extemely common for operator himself. Private aviation

4 great many years, but on the other hand commercial aviation could be run with as great regu-

to me, on the golf course." remark-larity as any other forms of travel.

ed Mr. Collisson as he went on to describe amusing reminisences on courses on the shores of Victoria Nyanza, Jinja. Arua' (on the banks of the White Nile) and 800 miles up the River Niger.

HOSPITALITY

The Fillans and other South Sea Races are the most hospitable peo- ple in the world and really these farmal greetings became some times quite awkward and rather a

The Chairman said that he had instructed Rotarian F. A. Mackin- tosh to explore other sources and to obtain tenders. He asked mem- bers to give the matter their care- ful consideration and to be pre- pared to give their views at the next meeting, unless the Hotel. management in the meantime withdrew their letter.

The Chairman also announced that the Rotary district assembly for South China will be held in Hong Kong this week. It was an assembly of Presidents and Secre-pulsarico. taries of the Clubs in the "district. As far as he knew he did not think there would be a large crowd but as the H.K. Rotary Club was the host Club it was their duty to en- tertain the delegates and for this purpose it was intended to call upon Club funds.

Introducing Mr. Collision the Chairman said that he was already well known to Rotarians and he was the only wit of renown in the Colony who was not already a "member of the Rotary Club.

THE ADDRESS Mr. Collisson said, in part:- Auditing, besides being the oldest, must surely be one of the dullest professions in the world or at least it would be if-well, may I crib a sentence from a book I read only a few days ago. It was the "Autobiography of a K.Cs Olerk" and he said in the pre- face:

"Besides which I have been through so much in my time that unless I had learned to laugh, I should have gone mad!".

My sanity, realise, may perhaps be a matter of opinion but I can still laugh.

“AUDIT ALE"

Not only would there be the presentation.

with

appropriate speeches, of whale's tooth as a token of welcome, even to the Auditor but there was bound to follow the browing in his presence of the national drink, called Kava, which with much incantation and ritual takes at least a quarter of an hour.

19

DEFENCE MEASURES

Speaking, of the international aspect of aviation, he said that no one could be satisfied with the present state of affairs abroad.

"Russia has the most powerful air force in the world, so far as we know. Germany is attempting to build up to it, and we ourselves must be on a parity, with any na- tlon within striking distance, and Germany is certainly one of these countries. Every individual, and certainly every party. in Great Britain desires peace above all clse, and to become an effective force for peace we must combine our desire with military strength, and we must be strong in the air."

game

aviation as had been devoted to military aviation there would have been in operation now a service between Britain and America

Asked about the possibilities of an air service to America, the One day I shall never forget Marquess said that 11 the when with a District Officer energy had been put Inte Civil visited 3 villages in one morning; had to have 3 ceremonial drinks and in between drinks, so to speak, carried out 3 audit inspections.

A strenuous life, an Auditor's! Fortunately the particular na- tional drink of Fil does not go to one's head but curiously enough. and with curious result, it goes to one's legs.

Mr. Collisson then told of an ex- elting adventure he had in a part of Africa at a washawar, and com- cluded with the following:--

THE "FAT" PENSION, But the old green pencil is get- ting a bit blunt and the time is relentlessly approaching when I shall be called upon to draw what is called by the ignorant layman

a fat pension."

How far it is likely to be you Auditing is not all beer and

may judge for yourselves when T skittles' though the more beer an tell you that one of my predeces- Auditor has the more skittish he

sors, Sir Charles Bowring K.B.E. may become, hence the good old draws from the Hong Kong Gov- English expression ‘Audit "Ale, aemment the magnificent pension memory of happier days in the of $44 per annum; his brother Mr. Old Country when the practice was Walter Bowring CBE is rewarded to offer a sort of liquid squeeze to by Hong Kong with a pension of the Auditor to assist him in his 198/11 h year, less than a penny a duties, a practice which so far as day. my own experience goes has not spread to any extent over the Co- lonies.

"

It is indeed dry work and can one be blamed one welcomes a trivial incident in the monotonous found or makes the most of the smallest opportunity to get a little Bit of fun even out of one's off cial duties? terje

RETRENCHMENT

ani

fot

What dole a mere O.B.E, is likely to receive I leave, Gentlemen, to your imagination-and-your, gen- erosity!

Some people favoured the use of the northern route. but he thought a straight across service could be. made efficient if the right machines were used.

NEW CUNARDER

Every Rivet Weighed To

Ensure Balance

The first half of the keel of the Cunard-White Star liner. No. 552 is ready for placing on the blocks at the Clydebank shipyard.

The machinea used for drilling the keel plates an operating 24 hours a day, and to uscertain the exact weight the steel drillings re- moved during boring are weighed. as the success of a ship of No. 552's dimensions.. depends greatly on perfect balance Every rivet, nut, bolt, and screw that goes into the be weighed to ensure liner will that balance.

No official information concern- ing the report that the keel-laying has been postponed til January or February can be obtained here. The date Oxed is still the end of

I only ask that you will open your purse-strings a little wider than you did to yet another of my colleagues, Mr. Guy Hodgson, a November.

former Assistant Local Auditor of Hong Kong... For: believe it or not, Mr. Hodgson applied to the Hong Kong Government a few months ag for his years pension all in one payment, and received a shillings and ten pence]; (ADDlause). SPEAKER THANKED

THANE

ANNAMITE

i

ON

FORGERY CHARGE

Hatchie Chink appeared on re-

The speaker then drew amusing, pleture of auditing in the Stone, Age and referring to re- trenchment

recalled that in 1903 $ Mr. Field, M.P..

mand before Mr. J. A riser yes North Dublin, in the House of Proposing a vote of thanks, Roterday at the Central Magistracy Commons, had the effrontery, to tarian J. Fleming said thats al for the forgery of a £5 traveler's ask the First Lord of the Treasury though the speaker's green penell cheque, why he (Mr. Collisson) had not might be getting blunt his powers been sacked Quite a long answer of observation, were still very

concocted and it could be sharp.

Sgt. . Dowman asted for a re- mand met this afternoon, which was granted.

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