HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Then can you tell me, please," she asked, "how one can teach the microbes to breathe deeply 7"
"Did Berenite describe her new evening frock to you?"
"Not completely; she only spent the afternoon with me."
Artist: "Do you think the great American novel will ever be vrit. ten "
Author (sighing deeply); "It will not only be written-it will be rejected.".
"Mother," said little John, burst. ing into the house, "there's going to be trouble at the chemist's, His wife has got a baby girl, and he's had a Boy Wanted sign in his "window for a week."
1)
"But you are an undertaker!" cried the horrified girl. The cther night at the fancy-dress ball you told me you were a doctor."""
"I never did anything of the sort." he protested. I said that I followed the medical profess on.".
"Did I hear you say, conductor, that a locomotive was at the rear of the train ?"
es, ma'am We've got a locomp tive at each end. It takes an extra one to push up the mountain."
"Dear, dear, what shall I do? I lislike to ride with my back to the locomotive."
•
A dear old lady had attended "a health lecture, and stayed behind to ask the lecturer a question.
"Did I understand you to say," she asked, "that deep breathing kills microbes ?"
Her "When I dance with you I feel, as though I were treading on the clouds.
She: "Don't be mistakes? Those are my feet.
"Is this the Elephant" asked the women passenger, digging the otheiat in the ribs with her un brella.
"No, muni; it's the conductor."
"Did you give your wife that little lecture on economy ?!
"Yes.
'Any results
4.
Po got to give up silk shirts"
Bus conductor: "How old are you, my little girl?"
Five-Year-Old. If the corpora tim doesn't object, I prefer to pay full fare and keep my own statis- tick."
Visitor: "Well, well! What a fine little man! Sitting there, so nice and quiet!!!
Junior: Yes, ma'am I always sit still until someone puts some money in my bank, and then I say, "Thank you.'".
A visitor was playing golf with an English peer. and the former had been carving up the turf all, over the course.
Eventually the peer said: "Par- don me, but is it not the custom in your club to replace the divot 1". "Divat" remarked the visitor. "What do you mean 1"
"I mean, don't you replace the turf!"
"Replace the turf the visitor ropeated: "Ob, no only when putting!"
The Christmas dance was in' full
"I certainly did say that many microbes are killed by deep breath-swing. ing." replied the lecturer.
A woman arriving in England after a short visit to the Continent was asked the usual question by the Customs official at the landing port: "Anything to declare, ma dam?
"No," she replied, sweetly, "noth ing.
"Then, madam," said the oficial, "am I ca take it that the für tail Tace hanging down under your coat is your own
+
2 13
12
15
They, he and she, had been sit- ting out this one, also the one he fore, and the one before that.
She was pating her hair straight.
This, you know," he panted, "is the first time I have ever been in love."
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 1930.
THE WORLD AT ITS WORSE.
TRYING TO KEEP YOUR MIND ON THE CONVERSATION WHEN YOUR LITTLE BOY HAS
BEEN ASKED TO PASS THINGS AT A TEA PARTY.
MUST WEED OUT UNFIT.
SCIENTIST'S CONTENTION.
Broadcasting a talk in the Points of View" series from Los-
He was retrieving his tie from un-don, Sir James H. Jeans, the der his right ear.
scientist, said man had ruled the earth only fer a fraction of a million years, and it rather seemed that he must still establish his claim to be the
She regarded him with eyes round with wonder.
"Well, I must say," she gasped, "for kindergarten work you're an infant prodigy."
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
18 [19
23
16
21 22
[29
102
155
36
40
44
50
Horizontal
1.-Possesses.
4. Small piece. 9.-To nod. 12-Skill.
13. To pay back. 14.-Mother sheep. 13.-Small
18.-At & distance."
17. To ward,
18.-Speechless persons.
20.Musical note.
21.-Symbol for calcium.
16
7
24.One who attends masquerade,
23.-Through.
PS.-Away.
30.-Pertaining to choice.
32. Spanish for rivers.
34.-Negative.
35. To strike.
36.-Guarded.
39.--Poern.
40.-Dignified.
41-Mouths (latin plural),
13. Spanish article.
44-Mother.
2
48-Colloquial: monomaniac. 47-Lacking stiffness. 50.-Vessel.
31.-Possessive pronoun.
54. High card.
55.-Freshet.
50.-Seine.
67.--Lair, 58.-Rowed. BB.Locking device.
Vertical, 1.Turn to left. 2-Part of to be. 3-Stalk 4.-Boxes. 6.-Testimonial: 6-Tred of Juva 7.To deface, 8.--Alongside. 9.-An insect:
125 126 127
41
46
10. To possess legally. 11-To marry. 17.-Goes foodless. 19.-Aloft.
20.-Sap of some trees. 21-Military division. 22.-Ablaze.
24.-"Shooting star." 25.-Metric prefix: 1,000. 26-To eldue.
27. To drive back. 29.-Sustenance. 31. Parcel of land
33. To print, 37.-Greek letter, 38.-Adorned. 42.-Article. 45.-To scorch. 48-Abrupt tangle. 47.-Boy. 43-Cool beverage. 40.-Humans." 50.-Mineral spring. 62.-Goller's mound. 33.Pen.. 55.-Thus.
permanent governor of the
earth. Man had fought against the wild beasts which once overran the earth and won, but he had not yet conquered the microbe."
If we are to make the earth a paradise again," he said, it seems to me that our first duty is at all costs to prevent the moral, mental and physical wreckage of to-day from reproducing itself and starting. & new sequence of unhappy lives. trailing down through endless gen- erations.
no
1
¿Copyright, 1960, by The Bell Syndicans, Ene.)
BIRTHPLACE OF THE.
BRONTES.
BRADFORD HOUSE TO BE SOLD.
The house where Charlotte Brontë and her sisters were born is includ ed in property at 74, Market Street, Thornton, Bradford, which is to be offered for sale by auction.
!
GUYAS WILLIAMS
ROBBED WHILE PREACHING
SHOCK FOR SCOTTISH
·DIVINE.
The Rev. Joseph Moffett, of Crown-court Church, Drury-lane, one of the four principal Scottish churches in London, has been rob- bed while delivering a. sermon in his church.
Mr. Moffett is known as the "Silent Samaritan. Ex-convicts
in particular have enjoyed many a comfortable night's board and lodging at his expense.
fi
The Council of the Bronte Society at a meeting discussed the poss ibility of acquiring the building, but no decision was reached. It is understood that sufficient finds for the purpose are not available, but that the society would undertake to During the service," he said to
a Press representative,. look after the property is a pur door coat and vest were left hang my out The Bronte Society many yearsing in the vestry. My gold watch ago placed a tablet on the wall of and chain were in the vest pocket, the house (part of which is now and my wallet, containing £3 103.,.. a butcher's shop) recording that a cheque, a postal order, and some" Charlotte, Emily, and Anne Bronte, papers, was in the inside pocket of and their brother Patrick were born} there.
chaser made it over to them.
The house is to be sold along
the jacket.
EREBOS SALL
ALT
TANLE
EASONS may
S change but no
matter the weather Cerebos is always dry and free running.
Cerebos
SALT
KLIM
POWDERCO
DRINK KLIM FOR
HEALTH and VIGOR
OBTAINABLE AT ALD
PROVISION STORES,
ASK FOR A TRIAL TIN FROK HONG KONG AMERICAN TRADING CO. KAINING BUILDING.
FRENCH HOUSE- WIVES BEST.
ENGLISH WOMAN NOT SO FOND OF HER KITCHEN,
An attempt has been made by an international committee in Vienna to decide which nation posscases the best housewives.
CHANGED FASHIONS OF PARK-LANE.
COURT DEMAND BY MAN WHOSE WIFE ALTERED HER: MIND.
Changing fashions in Park-lane houses, ware mentioned at West- minster County Court a few weeks. France beaded the list, and the ago by a lessee, who said he bought voled one house, but eventually lived in English housewife was eleventh in order of merit
as another, because his wife changed
her mind... follows:
1 French 2. German 3 Scotch 4. Dutch
3. Norwegian, Finnish, Danish 6. Austrian, Czech, Hungarian 7. Swedish, Swiss"
When I came down from the pulpit the wallet and contents were
6. American with two other houses and a small gone. The thief must have been thoroughly conversant with the procedure of the church, otherwise he could not have timed his actions so successfully.
shop, which with it, form one block.
"To encourage this stream of misery becomes a vice, to check it a virtue. To-day there is weeding out of the unfit. We save nearly all our babies indiscriminate- ly, good and bad, strong and weak, healthy and diseased. Unhappily In his concluding remarks Sir "The church doors are not re- the largest contribution comes from James anid: Some of the speakers opened until a few minutes before the most miserable and least in last year's symposium discussed the close of the service, and he must successful classes. I do not believe the claims of Spiritualism or pay have slipped in then and made that we shall get a happy and chical research to provide proof of straight for the vestry before the successful England unless we re- the survival of the dead. Speaking | congregation began to come out. plenish our stock,, mainly from the
as a scientist, I find the alleged "My overcoat was stolen in more happy and successful members proofs totally unconvincing; speak- similar circumstances a
few years of the community.”
ing as a human being, I and most ago." (Continued on next Column.)
of them ridiculous as well."
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
THE "AS YOU LIKE IT" VOGUE.
PARIS PLAYS FOR SAFETY.
теп
Ever since the war women have had everything their own way.
Fashions have been designed to suit our requirements; laws have been altered, to favour us; have obeyed us meekly.
Now the creators of fashion have suddenly leagued themselves toge- ther, and agreed to put us back twenty years into clothes that are remainiscent of the reign of Ed- ward VII.; but the By" in the oint- ment is that every Paris dress house has interpreted this thought in its own particular way. If we wish to be smart we must now be prepared to wear waist-bands, un der-bodices fastened with hooks and eyes, muslin blouses, evening gowns with trains sweeping the floor, and dance frocks with a more or less even hem line just missing the floor
A8
The second has a long flowing skirt with a train. These dresses are usually made of satin, heavy, crêpe, and the thicker materials used for evening wear, such fallic. The third type of evening gown has voluminov, panels and draperies which sweep out and around the wearer as she walks or cances.
All these various evening dresses have one thing in common. They fit very closely round the waist,
The princess line which we know so well is still there, but it has moved much higher up. Instead of starting from the normal waist line and fitting almost skin-tight to half-way down the thigh, as it did last season, now it fits almost skin- tight from three or four inches above the waist to the hip line.
Many Boleros. This effect is produced by the It is difficult for a woman to material being draped closely round judge these 1830 evening dresses the waist and fastened with an or- sensibly because we are not accusament on one side, or by the tomed to the new lines of them yet. budice being gathered or shirred into the little perpendicular bands They seem either hideously ugly of material, or simply by cutting or strangely beautiful!
the bodice to fit closely, and wear- ing'a narrow waistband of the same material
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION. by an inch or so.
671606
201300 STIEDS
Evening Styles,
9. Northern Italians
10 Southern Italians
11 English
Mr. Herbert Edward How, hotel proprietor, of 31, Park-lane, W., applied for permission to vary the terms of a lease, to enable that
house to be converted into data
The Duke of Westminster, the Westminster City Council and Mrs. Gladys Henderson, of Cook- ham Dean, Berks, were respondents.
A lease was granted by the Duke) 12. Polish, Rumanian, Turkish, to a Mr. Abrahams in 1992 at a
Yugoslavian
rent of £250, and assigned in 1924 to. Mr. How, Mrs. Henderson hold an underlease from Mr. How since 1027, for the remainder of the lease, expiring in 1938, at a rent of £475. for the first three years and 2500- for the remainder.
13. Irish '14. Greck
13. Spanish
16. Russian and Bulgarian. Under the chairmanship_of_s Vienurse, the committee, consisting of one Frenchman, one English- man, a Latvian, a Czechoslovakian and another Austrian, decided on certain principles of valuation," which should leave cut of account Intellectual qualities, Conversational brilliancy, Prowess in athletics or busi- ness and similar qualities.
The Best Cook.
Because of changes in the neigh bourhood, the premises could not be readily let to a single tenant, Mr. Bow submitted.
Wife Changed Her Mind. Mr. How's counsel said he bought. the lease for £5,000, intending to: occupy the house himself.
But he did not reckon with his wife, who, as women did sometimes. Domestic virtues only, especially In some cases it is used for the it is seen over que shoulder of an husband, cleanliness and economy her, 124, to April, 1927, Mr. How No. 34, Park-lane. From Decem- back of a morning frock. In others cooking, nursing of children and changed her mind and preferred
were the paramount considerations.tried to let. No, 31, without success evening gown. The front of an
It was agreed to "exempt. the evening dress may have bolero
Park-lane had so changed its and all extra-European States,
cut at an angle hanging in a point/Baltie States, Albania, Portugal character that no one would take e
at one side and sewn to the bodice except the U.S.A., from the valua house there as a private residence at the other..
Pastel Shades. V
tion, owing to lack of sufficient
dato.
for his own occupation.
Mr. E. A. O. Warmington, sur- veyor, said about 50 per cent of the houses in Park-lane were pri- vate and the rest commercial pro- perty.
The committee further agreed to The outstanding features of one of the more important collections include the Belgian wives into the just now include short hiplength French group and to manke no dis evening coats with sleeves that tinction among the various German reach just below the elbow and are peoples.
Mr. Ernest Yates, estate agent, worn with long suede gloves; even-
The final decision to give the said the houses had no market Ling dresses with little circular championship" to France was in to-day among private residential
shoulder capes reaching half-way fluenced by the unanimously accept owners. between the shoulder and elbowed qualities of cooking and thrift
Judge Turner said Mr. How bad
and tied in a soft bow or knot in which distinguish the French house to show change in the character of front of the bodice and ankle. wife.
length skirts made with two very Her cooking secured her the first full flounces, the top one rather place. The high pises of Dutch shorter than the lower.
wives is due to their leading in This style is used for patterned marks for "domestie cleanliness," or plain chiffon, net, or lace. Two and the following Scandinavie of the patterned chiffon dresses group also scored high in this have backgrounds, one of pastel respect. blue and the other of pastel pink with large over-checks in white Many of the day dresses have little capes of imitation bolero effects,
".
Transparent flirta. ".......
These gowns are made with layer upen layer of net, and are worn by the mannequins with no under skirt at all, so that in certain lights they are more or less trans parent.
the neighbourhood. There was no evidence that the house could not belet as a single tenement. It had been let and changed hands as ré- cently as 1927
I think it is a mast hopeless application, added the Judge, dismissing it.
Sixth place is given to a Central European group which can boast of excellent cooking, while the Swedish and Swiss housewives are clean and No comments accompanied the thrifty, devote much attention to placing of Irish, Greek and their children, but lost marks on Spanish housewives, but with the their, cooking.
latter two one may assume that, marks in clean housekeeping rather low
The American housewife ranks
Bere
One of the greatest difficultios that the dress designers have boen faced with is the question of un-higher than might have been ex der-slips for net or lace evening pected and no reason for this rank Russian wives, and the Bulgar. dresses.
ing is given.
ians, which were included withi An undoubtedly correct distinc-them, were unanimously declared tion is made between Northern and by the members of the committee to Southern Italian housewives, while be bad housewives, the English, housewife was placed Knowing that their list was
low as eleventh owing to the fact bound. to arouse a storm of in that the devotes less attention to dignation, in whichever order the As soon as a crêpe, de chine, her children and her kitchen than ranking was arranged, the members: underskirt is made, a hard and her sisters abroad, which follows main anonymous, except to a few of the committee preferred to ze- ugly line appeara. Apparently no The Balkan group, way has yet been discovered of next, had in its favour, good cook-editors and doctors in Vienna, and they have done well in assuming keeping the soft effect of thess fine ing, but lost points en cleanliness. 18
materials without their being. (Continued at foot of next column),, such cover,
402 SOURS 210 HDCE ZIF. 2000 DEMOND SPEISE
HID JUE22D DEXZ28 HEJS BOS, ZELL PLJ BET25 RIE 22. STABILE
ZB2ZN8 78
There are at least three different styles of evening dresses that will be fashionable this summer among women who follow Parisian fas hions.
One has a flounced zkirt, and is. made of soft materials, such as plain or patterned chiffon, net, or Jace
Boleros, capes, and fichua are used in every conceivable way on evening dressed, afternoon dresses, morning dresses, sporte suits, and coats of, all kinds.
The bolero can be seen on a thou-, sand and one different dresses, but on each dress it is slightly differ
ent 'in cut;
No comments yet.
Private notes are available after approval.