1930-02-11 — Page 3

HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.

He (dreamily: Would that I were star in yon besvana.”.

Sho (icily)." "I'd rather you were a comet.

Why It's.

לי

Mr. Abraham (greeting Mr. Isaacs): "I am so sorry to hear of the fire at your factory last Fri- day,"

Mr. Isaacs: "Sb, sh, von't yout

Then you'd come round only Next Friday, next Friday." once 'avary fifty years."

יד

"

Landlady: What a treat the new lodger is. Why, he's so quiet one would hardly know he's here at all."

Maid: "One wouldn't, would ons! I saw him going off three hours ago with all his luggage"

Fishing Tackle salesman. "Now what sort of fy do you require, sir

Fly-Fishing 'novice: "Precisely the same type of By as the one that stung me on the back of neck last wednesday afternoon.}"

Young Lady (at post office):

Now what country did this one come from? Have a guess:-

You coming to our party to- night?"

"Don't see how I can. Got a case of diphtheria in the house."

"Bring it along; bring it along. We'll drink anything."

Dad asked his daughter May.

"What have you against Arthur,

"I do not consider him a good match for you, my dear."

"But why He's a beautiful șr.. tist, you know."

"He may be, my dear; but the trouble is he cannot draw cheques.”

11

Said Mrs. Spendall: "I made

"Give me a penny stamp, please.ten pounds while you were in your. But I seem to know you."

"Clerk: "Yes, I saved you from drowning last week."

Young Lady: “Of course-you") may give me twelve penny stamps and a postal order for five shil Jinga"

Jobbing gardener: "yer know that there marrow wot you was growing fer exhibition "

Master of House: "What about it?"

Jobbing gardener (indignantly}: "why, I was s-sittin' on it ter 'sve my lunch, an' the blinkin' thing fell in 14

The cadets were lined up on the field for inspection, and as the com- mandant strode down the line he stopped suddenly before one young ruan and said:" "You remind me, a great deal of General Grant."

"Really, air" responded the cadet, eagerly.

"Yes, he didn't shavë, either i”

At Trangie a man was knocked down by a motor car and seriously Injured Subsequently an action for damages was instituted. A doc tor giving evidence stated, when asked where the car hit the com- pisinant, “At the junction of thè dorsal and cervical vertebrae,"

The foreman of the jury stood up sad said: "Your Honour, I've been living in this part of the country for over fifty years, and I never heard of such a place."..

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ofico to-day."

"How inquired her husband. "Well, you paid £275 for Our gar, didn't you ?”

by.

"Yes," said Spendall.

"I sold it to a dealer for £285," "Where's the £10" replied bub

"Oh, I've bought a new car for 2520, and he's allowing me £285 for the old one. I wish you would stay at home and let me run your office'; we'd soon be rich."

The waiter came up behind the diner and coughed apologetically.

"If you please, sir-" he began. "Well, Thomas," inquired the amiable diner, "what can I do for. you

"Well," air," said Thomas, "I'm going to leave this restaurant and the boss won't give me a character. I thought perhaps you'd say as I was Lonest I've always served you here, sir."

"But I don't know anything about your honesty," replied the diner..

"Oh, but, sir, I'm really honest," protested the waiter.

"All right, then," said the other; "give me pen and paper. I'll say you're honest.”

Thomas clutched the paper in his band when it was finished.

"Thank you, sir, he said. "You. don't know how grateful I am. I tell you what, sir-you come here to-morrow and I'll wangle you a meal for nothing:**

CROSSWORD PUZZLE.

8 9 10 0 12

18

22

14. 15

13

16

19

20

25

27

28

29.150

31

32

33 134

37 38

39

40

142

43.

44

147

51

[55

149

50

53

156

Horizontal.

11.-Paired.

1. To degrade.

7.-Ascends.

13. urna away.

14-To sell in smäll quantity,

15.-Toward.

16-Slogans

18.-Negative. 19.—Everyone.

-21-Aeber-

22.-To knock.

23-Man's name.

28.-Golf mound.

28. To tunnel.

27-Girl's name.

29.-Wanders

31-To unite.

39.-Goddess of dawn.

33.-Upmost parts.;

·30. -Creeds.

39-Knowledge.

40.-Chum.

42-To jump.

-43.--Age,

41.-King of the golden touch

48.-Owing.

47.-Alongside.

48.-Exchanged.

50-French article.

51.-European city.

83-Fenced

55.-Revised

50.-Places.

1.--Item:

Vertical:

2-To develop. 3-Part of to be. 4-Weapon. 5.-To cease.

-Property,

7. Old women,

&-Dregs

D. Pronoun.

10.-Mother.

12-Inclines

17. To bind..

20.--Portable lamp.

22-Cooked before fire. 24.-Racket.

28.-To cook over fire.

29.-To 'soak.

30.-Bevorage.

.....

33.--To split. 34.-Firmly fixed. 35,-Having thorns. 36.-Talents.

37-Pulled.

39.-Hurries, 41.-To join.

44.Sword.

45.-Bench:

48.-Fart of bridle.

49. To expire. 52.-Symbol for nickel. 54.Musical note.

YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.

Fo. 1565

ABBAY FINAL

GEORES.EFLERE DOSTANETERSKLE EVAAREIZSAFRO REIT RED BRAZ BIRDS FEAT

LEDS LIED SENDE

RES

SLOOP!

THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 1930.

||

SNOW-WEATHER

ASKS CAN HE GO OUT OF DOORS AND PLAY IN KEY THE SNOW,

AND SPEEDS HIM ON HIS WAY CAUTIONING HIM TO KEEP HIS MITTENS ON.

11-13

By GLUYAS WILLIAMS

TABLE

EREBOS SALT

EXPERIENCE teaches

that the best is in the end the most economical. Therefore the careful house» wife always' orders-

Cerebos

SALT

BOS

CERES

MOTHER SIGHS AND AND HIS LEGGINGS, BEGINS LABORIOUS

AND HIS RUBBERS,

SALI

PROCESS OF GETTING HIM INTO SEVERAL LAYERS OF SWEATERS,

THREE MINUTES - LATER RETURNS WITH THE NEWS

THERE'S NOBODY TO PLAY WITH

AND HE'S GOING 'TO STAY IN..

TO-DAY'S WIRELESS

PROGRAMME.

BROADCAST BY Z.B.W. ON

360 METRES.

11 to 11.30 am-Commercial news, 12.30 to 1.30 p.m.-Demonstration

programme.

1.48 p.m.-Weather report.

5

to 5.30 p.m.-European pro- gramme of Columbia records supplied by Mesars. Anderson -Music Co. "Rondine" (Beethoven-Kreisler) "Melodie" (Gluck-Kreis- aad ler), Violin Solo by Telli

D'Aranyi.

"Good News-The Varsity Drag "

and "Good News The Best Things In Life Are Free," Lay. ton and Johnstone.

The Road To Loch Lomond " (Tolchard Evans) and "Napoli" (Wallace and Scarperia), J. H.

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MOTHER SIGHS AND

TEN MINUTES

STARTS GETTING HIM -- LATER SAYS

OUT OF HIS SWEATERS AND HIS LEGGINGS, AND HIS RUBBERS, AND ONE MITTEN, (ONE BEING LOST)

(Copyright, 1930, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)

5.30 to 6 p.m.-Aunty Letty, Aunty Kathleen and Uncle Jack, will entertain the Children.

BUDDY BREWER IS OUT THERE

NOW CAN HE GO OUT NOW

·GUYAS WHATS

Bitter Sweet Vocal Gems,"

Columbia Light Opera Co. **Ogul Mogul—A Kanakanese Love Lyris" and "The Tightest Man I Know," Billy Bennett. to 9p.m.-Experimental pro

gramme.

6 to 7 p.m.-European programme of Columbia records supplied by Messrs. Anderson Music Co.7 "Martial Moments-March Med 9

ley" (arr. Winter), The Regi-" mental Band of H.M. Grena

dier Guards.

"So Tired" (Little and Sizemore) and "Cuckoo (Your remind me of a naughty spring time)" Florence Oldham with a Piano. "La Serenata (Angel's Serenade)" (Braga) and"Serenade" (Tiel, J. H. Squire, Celeste -Octet.

"The Business Man's Love Song" (B. C. Hillian) and Optimist And Pessimist," Flotsam and Jetsam.

-L

to 10.30 p.m.-Chinese programme relayed from Ko Shing Theatre. 10.30 p.m-Closs down.

Two million francs (approximate ly, £16,600) is reported to have been on in the now Casino at Nice, the "Palais de la Mediterranée," by Mr. Bernhard Baron, the tobacco Mrs. Wakefield, daughter of the late

Imageats and philanthropist. Dur- ing the evening's play 12,000,000 francs (approximately £100,000) is reported to have changed hands.

"Concert Waltz In A" (Glaxou- The craze for eat fur is advanced nor) and "Witches Dance from by the residents of Little Kimble, *Levilli*** (Puccini), The near Aylesbury, Bucks, ca an ex- B.B.C. Wireless Symphonyplanation for the systematic dis- Orchestra.

appearance of their finest house- The Minstrel Boy" and "Thank, hold pets. The cats leave no trace God For A Garden;" Tom of their fate. It is presumed that Burke.

the carcases are buried after the Wishing And Waiting For Love" akins are removed. Scores of catis and Tip-Toe Thru The Tulips have been lost just when the fur is With Me," Fred Rich and His in its best condition!". Orchestra.

-- Squire, Geleste Octet.

The Old Rugged Cross" (Ben-

nare) and We Will Talk It" O'er Together Bye-and-Bye" . (Marrie), William McEwan, "Rubinstein, March" (Bidgood) and "Happy Warrier, March" (Kabl), The Regimental Band of H.M. Grenadier Guarda.

'.

THE WOMAN'S CORNER.

PLAIN WOMEN CAN BE DANGEROUS.

[BY BARONESS FURNVALL]

There is a convention that the Beautiful woman wields more po- wer than the plain woman.

But

I do not know whether this is alto gether true.

but tactfully have avoided men- tioning her looka Bo it has been with many women whose namen. have been handed down to poster- ity,

brains to captivate, and so she cul- tivates them.

"If.a woman does not possess be The pretty woman conceals noth-auty, she has to rely on her ing. She immediately discloses the position of her guns; but you never quite know where you are with the plain woman. In emotional mat Lers her power is subtle, and in the Iess complicated affairs of life it is deadly.

It

the WILS

Italian, Carlo Goldoni, who advised the plain wo

tin

te

"She that is by nature plain, To become fair by art shall strive

in vain.”

The result in that the plain wo- man who possesses intelligence and most of them do-does not attempt metamorphosise herself into a beauty, but she does attempt to attract by not appearing to do so, which is infinitely more dangerous for the victim concerned, and far more devastating in its ultimate results.

Every man suspects the beautiful woman of being "dangerous, but such suspicion never falls on the plain woman. The result is that the often scores over her more be autiful sister.

If a man falls in love with a plain woman he falls heavily, and he stays down longer.

Charlotte Bronte was considered daring when she ventured to make a heroine of Jane Eyre, but no beautiful woman could have held Rochester as plain little Jane con

trived to do."

If you turn back the pages of history you find that many famous wonien have been plain. Cleopatra was not really beautiful, nor was Mme. da Stuel in the reign of

When the plain woman goes into business, she does so unhampered by the fact that men are going to be afraid of her. The consequence is that when she sets out to a deal with them they expect it to be a square deal, and give her a square deal accordingly.

The pretty woman-who may also possess brains on the contrary, frequently receives quite the op posite treatment.

A man mistakes her friendly smile for an attempt to attract him and thus gain an unfair advant age. The consequence is, in guard. ing against, her charms, he settles down to browbeat her and keep the business brisk, at the same time making mental note to ask her to lunch or dine afterwarda

As a result, unless she is exceed ingly clever, the either makes a bad bargain or none at all..

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FLAT LIFE MADE EASY FOR CHILDREN.

Children are not made for flats, therefore flats must be made for children,

The first thing the wise mother makes for is a wide, quiet street, where the air is fresh and the traf- fic unlikely to prove a disturbance at bedtime.

She is careful to avoid a low- lying district, for the higher the situation the more confidantly can she settle on the ground floor and reap the benefit of safe windows and verandahs. This is the ideal solution of the problem: an airy ground floor flat differs in size only

from a house.

Sunlight, room for ball, hide- and-seed and mud-pie, and freedom to make plenty of noise are all se cured by the garden, and it was just the lack of these that made the pre-war flat-child the listless little be was. But it is not always pos sible to find such a place.

Serviceable Nurseries."

She furnishes very simply, know- ing that if children have no gar- den to tear about in, it is, fair to give them every chance to romp in- doors. A complete. absence of knick-knacks and a general strength and solidity of tables and chairs

characterise all her rooms.

Extra thick matting and a baize- Another great advantage that the plain woman has over the pretty lined nursery door are both de one is an entire lack of self-consirable, for peace is essential for sciousness She knows she is not neighbours and noise is essential

for children. much to look at, and instead of wasting time in dramatising her self, she ques straight, ahead, and attends to her business,

Root Valua

A flat roof, too, is an excellent sunbathing place, and, if it is pro- getting, aloping sufficiently inwards perly safeguarded by strong wire to defeat the youthful climbing by "dares," it makes an excellent ambition, however mach stimulated

the extraordinary, rise in power of I was discussing the other day an absolutely plain woman. There justify such success, but of one ac did not seem to be, anything to

cord my friend and I both said playground.

Well, anyhow, she did not get there on her looks, so there must have been some merit about it.".

If that does not serva to illustrate the power of the plain woman—s" power which even puts Historians have always alluded her beyond the reach of feminine to Mine, de Stoel's brilliant brain, | innuendo-what does!

A few tuba and boxes provide the children with their own little gar dens, and a sand heap is really far less impracticable than it sounds.

Up there the little ones have the air and sun as well as being safely out of the way during the domestic rush hours.

FRIGIDAIRE

RODUCT OF GENERÁL MOTORS"

Call and Inspect the New Models in our Showroom

Consider these new Frigidaire features

1.-So incredibly quiet you don't hear it

start, stop or run.

2-Complete simplicity

plug it

into a convenient electric outlet and forget it.

—Easily portable

anywhere.

can be moved

4.-Mechanism completely concealed

5.—COLD CONTROL

only on Frigidaire.

offered

DODWELL & CO., LTD.

Sole Distributors for Hong Kong and S. China. Queen's Ballding.

Tel. C. 1030,

Why is it that the Army, the Navy, and Hospital Authorities of Great Britain and U.S.A. always specify Horlicks Malted Milk?

They know it is the original-and found it to be standard. Always uniform-does what it claims-and "everyone likes it.

It is

a little more expen sive than any of the other similar. ly-named preparations- but with Horlicks, Well! it's like a Bank of England Note-worth the money. LANE CRAWFORD'S CAFE ALWAYS SERVE HORLICKS.

RHEUMATISM and BACKACHE

Genasprin does not merely relieve the pains of Rheumatism and Backache, it acts as a solvent of Uric Acid, the principal cause of Rheumatic trouble, and is thus of permanent benefit.

Make sure you get

GENASPRIN

The SAFE Brand of Aspirin

which is manufactured by Gematosan, Ltd, Loughborough, England, and is untouched by band during the process of manufacture.

Obtainable from all Chemists and Stores in bottles of 85 tableta!

ТЕ

SOLE AGENTS:-W. R. LOXLEY & CO.

*.

2588.