HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
He was a very poor golfer, yet he had the nerve to ask the caddy how b liked his game.
"I still prefer golf, sir," said the caddy.
She: "Is your wife having any success in learning to drive the car?
He: "Well, the road is beginning tu turn when she does,"
"Another new hat: How do you induce your husband to pay for them "
**Quite simple-I go and see him the office wearing the old thing I made myself.”
There are a number of lettera here addressed to Jones, care of us. Do you know where to find him?"
Er-no, sir, I don't.' "Write to him at once and tel! him to send his addess."
Explorer:" D'ye know, I once went about in South America for months with a price on my head!"
Hestess: Dreadful! I know the feeling. I came home from a sale once with the price ticket on my hati
"I think Harry,' said Mrs. Barton, "I'll ask these new people next door to have dinner with us to-night."
"What for?" asked her, bus bands
"Well, the butcher left their meat here by 'mistake, and it seems -only fair."
f
"When Jim tried to kiss me I was so satounded that I nearly--"
"Nearly what "
"Nearly stopped him."
"I did what I could, Tony-I told her you had more money than
"What did she say "
"She asked if you had any money!
Father: "Did you peel that apple before eating it, as I told you?
Jimmy: Yes, Dad.”
Father: "What did you do with the peel1"
Jimmy: "I ate it after I had finished the apple."
"I'm afraid you husband is be yond help." said the doctor to the wife. "I can give to hope."
"Here, you." came a voice from the bed, I haven't snuffed out yet."
"Keep quiet, dearie,* answered the wife. Leave it to the doctor; he knows best,"
Naughty Tommy had escaped from his angry another, and hid himself under his bed. When fa- ther returned, she sent him up- stairs with a birch. Father stooped down by the bed, and a voice un- derneath the bed exclaimed: "Hal- lo, father: Come under! In she after you, too?"
Sandy was engaged to a girl who a few days before her nineteenth birthday had her hair, bobbed. All her girl friends congratulated ber A father had been in the habit on her improved appearance, and
i was therefore without any mis of warning his little daughter re- garding her conduct during the day givings that she showed herself to as he left home each morning. One her sweetheart, But Sandy viewed morning as he kissed the little girl her with grase disapproval. "It's and, said: "Now be a good little hard on me, lassie," said, "werra hard After I've just bought ye girl,"
With an expectant smile she adja packet o' hairpins for your birth-
day."' ded: "And don't what "
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
12
lle
19
48
+
•
197
68
[59
Horizontal.
1-To urge.
4-Musical note.
6. Thus,
&-To stroke,
11. Kept afloat..
13. To deliver a sermon.
15. To tie.
16. Welsh river.
18.-Small rodents.
15.-Pronoun.
20-Papal documents.
22.-Negative.
23.-Aloft.
24-Angler's feathers.
26-Egyptian god.
28.-Descendant of Shem. 30.-Berates.
32.-Skill.
33. To regret.
24-Part of door. 37-Cylindrical. 40.--Bone.
41.-Gocs away.
..43.-By.
44.-3.1410.
46. Painful spots.
..47.-Exista
48.Capacity measure. 50.---Operated.
51.-To' sit for portrait.. 53-Covered passage.
54.-Sliding compartment 5%-Mendow. 58-Plural ending. 30.-Compass point. 60. Wing like part.
Vertical.
1. To recode. 2-A chemisette. 3.-Departed. 4.--French article. 5.-To cite. 8.--Trances.
7. Conjunction. 8.-Ache.
9-Agreement. 10.-Article.
18
121
8
14-Type measure,
17-Large deer.
20-Fights.
B
21-Things not to be known.
23.-Plural pronoun.
24.-Employed.
es-Loses sweetness.
27-While..
20.-Human.
31. Shelter.
34.-Italian river.
35.To aim high. 36-Flower germs.
37.-Tendencies.
33-Pendant ornament.
39.--Latin for and."
42.-A constellation.
45.-Ancient Peruvian.
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 20, 1929.
HOW PROFOUNDLY TRUE IT IS-
GREAT THINGS
COME FROM
SCOTLAND
ERSIU
SCOTCH
Prince Charles Edward Stuart, descendant of Kings. A man who so stirred the heart of Scotland that men left homes and crofts, wives and children to follow him. At his bidding, the high hills echoed to the skirl of the pipes sum- moning the Highlanders to fight for the true cause. Then came the swift rise of hope that fell with Culloden. The long weary months of flight. Out on the hills, hunted like a deer, hiding in dank caves-in poor bothies.. Such a reward on his head that a quarter of it would" bave made the fortunes of his guardians. But none of them, poor as they were, betrayed him. Few men could have inspired such devoted love and sacrifice." And it is the ever-fragrant memory of that devotion which has brought to Prince Charles-and to Scotland-such undying fame.
WHO SAYS
DEWAR'S ?
·ASK ALWAYS FOR DEWAR'S WHITE LABEL" SCOTCH WHISKY,
Agents for Hong Kong:-A. S. WATSON & CO., LTD.
STYLES CHANGE, BUT HUSBANDS DON'T
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
47-One of the United States. 49.-Chum.
TRIES ON NEW PRESS.
48.-Symbol, for tantalum.
51.--Father.
52.-Age.
54.-Prefix: down.
30.-Prefix: again..
This puzzle took 23 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it..
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION..
BEELED BABOJÍ
BEARIONB ODE EGGS. 5EF NEE 13. RIDS
ZR BUYERS PIRSK HOT. DELL
REGULET BA STORE
TEASE
WONDERS WHAT HUSBAND WILL SAY TO IT. MIGHT AS WELL GO DOWN AND HAVE IT OVER WITH...
DOESN'T BELIEVE SHE WILL EVER GET
USED TO THE NEW STYLE,
HUSBAND LOOKS.. UP AND REMARKS THE STOCK MAR:. KET WAS WEAK AGAIN.
WONDERS COULDN'T SHE SHORTEN IT JUST A BIT, THESE LONG SKIRTS MAKE HER FEEL SO FUNNY.
· CAN'T STAND THE SUSPENSE AND 'ASKS WELL. WHAT- DOES HE THINK OF THA NEW DRESS ?
AND GOODNESS, THE WAISTLINE
WAY UP AROUND HER NECK; IT MAKES HER FEEL LIKE A STRANGER.
HUSBAND SAYS VERY PRETTY, HE DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS A NEW ONE, AND BY THE WAY, WHAT'S THIS NEW STYLE HES BEEN READING ABOUT]
(Copyriglu, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)^{{#ZS"
GOVERNOR TRAPPED BY TELEPHONE CALL.
LAST BOAST OF A ROBBER CHIEF.
"I HAVE BEEN KING?"
13
CHARM THAT SWAYED A NATION.
The remarkable life story of Bacha Saquo, the_water-carrier, who deposed Amanullah as King of Afghanistan, told by himself to the captain of the escort which was taking him to his trial and ulti mate execution in Kabul 'has just been published.
It demonstrates the utter fearless- ness of this former robber chief in the face of death, and his profound: belief in the destiny prophesied for him by a mullah, or pative priest,
"Ever since I was a little boy," be said, "I loved the life of de- speradoes.
•
יין
"It" was "in the villages of the Khyber that the mullah gave me a magic charm, telling me tha; ono day I would be king, and that so long as he lived I would bear a charmed life. Thus armed with
confidence I sought a soldier's job
with revolvers in both my hands; and, tied him.up to the leg of his iron sate
** Then I took up the receiver of the telephone. Give me Alla Euzrat at Kabul.'-Yes, the King's own number at the palace. A válce spoke from. Kabul. O! had not I heard that roar a thousand times in the palace grounds ♪
"I said that it was the governor of the province who was speaking to report that I had captured "the gang of Bacha-Saquo, and what was to be done with the bandit chief 1
came
Shoot him, like the dog he is!?! the reply. Hs, "hal' I chuckled in my beard, it is just as well to know how much I am loved it Court-l'
"Within three days I was shel- ling the capital; Amanullah bad
every day in large numbers.... I was king! My entry into Kabul realised my wildest dreams. That day amid the glory of it I would have gladly perished.
in the Afghan army. My marksBed, his troopers were joining us manship soon earned me the highest reward, and I went to India with the Afghan peace defégation.
"On my return to Kabul I was discharged, but I looked at my charm. Some day I shall be n .king: I said. Then, because of my marksmanship, & local brigand found in me a useful recruit.
• " We Did Not Fear Death." "For months, nay, for years we pounced upon the caravans from Turkeatan, relieved the rich of their wealth, and helped the poor. Ulti- mately I assumed the leadership of the brigand gang."
"I carried on the work so SUC- cessfully that we used to extract faxes from the caravans, and ac tually grant receipts with our com- pliments to Amanullah, The king's men dare not touch us, for we did not fear death.
"Then "Amanullah and his wife went to Europe, and returned. They all saw what he had seen, as he brought magic-films with him: and we said, it was bad, and so did also the mullahs, and the peasants.
When the revolt of the Shin- warie began, my star rose high; and before sundown two thousand of my well armed men were follow- ing me to help the revolutionaries. We surrounded the house of the governor of Jablusirey.
"I stepped alone into the room. of the governor. He was sipping his green tea May, peace, not be upon thee,' I spoke, covering him
EXTENSIVE RAIDS ON "BOOT-LEGGERS.".
·LARGE SEIZURES IN NEW
YORK STATE.
His Burled Hoard. "I found some of the gold"and jewels as old as the time of Amir Abdur Rahman, I used much of it to pay my soldiers. Gold, and silver. in sacks were packed on camels, and every night; I sent from twelve to fifteen camel loads to the valley of Punishair, and even beyond, to be buried for exigencies.
"They are there still at the sign of the four camels, but it would take more than cutting my limbs to make me say where that sign in 1 Perhaps they will lie there for ever! One other only knew the se cret-and he is dead!
"When I found that the clans could not be persuaded to accept me as king. I married a sister of Queen Souriya, thinking that, by establishing a royal connection, my position would be secure.
"It was without avail, but worst of all, the mullah who had given me the charm died; and my star began to set.
Sell, I have been a king, and the adventure of my life is finished, and now whether I live or die, mat- tess pothing, for I have reached the heights of kings, which is only next to the height of Allah's throne; more than this, man caa
10 attain!"
they were transferred in motor- lorries' to permanent": storage points, which were likewise named in the messages, and to a number of road-houses and wayside, inna which served as temporary storage places. The central business office of the "ring" was learned to be in Forty-third-street, New York..
Four o'clock was the hour set for the attack. Precisely as that mo- ment the bulk of the landing places, offices, and storehouses of the "ring" while others served up- on a dozen banks in New Jersey and New York subpoenas requir
The United State Government recently won its biggest battle against "boot-leggers" by simul taneouly executing raids against 35 bases of the rum-running "ring". which has been bringing into the metropolitan district a million daling them to produce the accounta
of some 20 suspected persons." They were armed with warrants for 33 men who had been secretly indict- ed for violation of the prohibition
lars' worth of imported liquor weekly. The raids were made along a front of 100 miles from Atlantic City, New Jersey, to Bag Harbour, Long Island, by 130 speci-laza by a special Grand Jury in
a. Treasury agents and deputy marshals of the State police. They resulted in the arrest of 32 persons and the seizure of an unlicensed wireless station, a fortified man- sion, a suite of offices in New York City, a score of landing stations along the coast, a number of stor age plants for liquor, a great quantity of liquor, and a formid- able array of rides, sub-machine gans, sawed-off shotguns, pistols, ammunition, and tear gas bomba.
The preparation for the raids be- gan six months ago, when an in- spector for the Federal Wireless Commission reported the existence somewhere neat New York of an unlicensed wireless station which habitually sent out its messages in tode. The messages were decipher- ed and the ecde learned, and the Treasury Department was inform ed of the discovery.. Thereafter, every message this station sent out was recorded. Meanwhile, experts. practised with the code until they were as fluent in it as the unknown operator himself.
Trenton, New Jersey. Their drag- net missed of the indicted per- sons, but, as an offset, they cap tured 23 others who had not yet been indicted, including two of the most notorious "boot-leggers" in the 'country.
Wireless Seized.
The raiders came upon the wire- less station in the Atlantic high- lands, close to New York, at the very moment when the operator was sending out one of his code warning he was thrust from his messages. Before he could give oi seat and a Government expert, us ing the same code, sent out mes sages which brought one of the lar gest supply ships into the reach of miles back in the country, on a a Revenue cutter. Meanwhile, five hilltop, other agents forced their way into a pretentious mansion, fortified against possible attacks of "hi-jackers, and armed like a blockhouse. In the cupola of the house they found telescopes fixed on stands, so as to command, a wide stretch of land and sea. Un- der the armoury on the ground The information secured by the floor was a storage fault contain Treasury through these wireleasing many cases of liquor, and in a messages was invaluable in its pre-enve close at hand there were more paration for its attack on the. similar cases.
A Big Bing.
"ring"The Department learned from them that the sources of sup-
ply for the distributors of smug- gled liquor were six vessels which
Donai, The Court at Douni has
operated between St, Pierre, Mi-authorized the extradition to Italy quelon, and Bermuda. These ver sels discharged their cargoes at favourable opportunities into speed boats outside New York Harbour,. which landed them on the coast at definitely named points. Thence
of Mr. Manzi Fé, a naturalized British subject of Italian origin, who is charged with misappropria tion of funds. The accused man was formerly manager of the Banco. Italo-Brittanica in Rome
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