||
HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
What is a pedestrian, Duddy ?" "It is a person with a wife, a daughter, two sons, and a car."'
"What has your correspondence school to boast about 7"
Well, all the students are let-
ter men.
"
Why the brown spots or your suit 1
Oh, that's rust? My tailor said is would wear like iron."
Why did the fire department get rid of their efficiency expert
He puz unbreakable glass in All the fire alarni boxes."
"Folks think Hokus lives
mighty high fur +3 who doesn't work."
"
Yes, he lives on a bluff!".
I believe in state ownership of all railways and tranways,
"I don't know about that. Ever stop to think what the conductors And other afficials would be like if they had the whole army and navy backing them up!
The Plumber (to his assistant, who is singing) "Nah, thom. Caruso, stop it! Remember, you are mendia' a bath, not takin one."!
Why are you putting pepper, salt, and vinegar on your food that way 7
Oh, it's just an old spinach
custom."
Hoss (at country house). "Would You care to see my acetylene plant
**I'd tove ta I'm Visitor:
keen оп frightfully plants."
Perspiring Golfer: goodness! Out at last!"
tropical
"Thank
Wife: You are improving, car. I only read three pages while you were getting out of that bunker !!!
Senator: You say we're out of food. Well, what would you re- commend?"
His Wife: I'd recommend an appropriation to cover the proper provisions.
The person who invent- ed the dotted line as... a means of expressing thoughts.
better left unexpress. he was to be paid fine
Man (gazing at newly made por, fruit of himself): Great guns:
that a This is terrible! I look like a
ed. clown complete monkey?
Photographer: "Well, you should have thought of those things be fore you caune here."
Mistress (to maid who is leav; ing): "I would like to give you a good testimonial, but I must say that meals were never punctual, I will put it as tactfully as I can." Maid:"Say that I served the meals a punctually as I received
my wages.
"
As the train pulled into a sta tion, a traveling man stuck his head out of the window, and, cal ling to a small boy standing near, said: Here, sonny, bring, me a sandwich and here's another dime: get one for yourself.'
|
by the
that
•
Beauty. Lover: Impossible! You
I saw the whole of the Art Exhibi-.. tion in 20 minutes? I spent that time on one picture."
Modern Artist: "Yes, but you don't walk as quickly as I do."
AL
They tell story of
"Bob" Hutchins, the youngster who is the new Chicago University president" at a formal dinner in Washington. There were present a number of distinguished jurists, and after the dinner on eminent judge came to Hutching and in an affable but patronizing manner said: "Well, Mr Hutchins, I suppose you tell the boys in your school that we older people don't know much
Just as the train started to pull out the boy returned, munching aabout law."
sandwich, handed the ran a dime, "No." replied the dean with a and shouted: "Here's your dime, disarming smile "I don't. Fleu mister; they only had one." them find it out for themselves."
t!
CROSSWORD PUZZLE,
14
118.
19
15
5
6 17 18 19
110
12
16
20
21
22
123
24
25
26
27
30
1 32 33
136
134
$39 140
142
144 445
146
47
148
49
EO
151
52
54
55
Horizontal,
1-Suitable mate. 3. Encounters, 1. To withdraw. 12.-Missles.
14. Half an em.
13. Share.
"17.-Exclamation.
18.To be fil. 20.-Forest.
Mold-
V-Stage.
21.-Female sheep. 23.-Geometrical figure.
28,-Inclines.
28. Most refined,
30.-Conjunction. 31.-To decay.
32.-Steeples.
35.-Grenade..
35.-Dimnesa
39.A beverage.
41-Piece for three.
12-Poem.
43.-Dispatches." ·
45. The one over there.
40-Hypothetical, force. 47.-More joyous,
48-Toward."
EO.-Wearizomeness, 52.-Conductor. 54.-Eats,
ns. To go in.
13. Amiable.
8
36 37
14-Flaxen in colour,
19. To pay social attention to. 21-Pertaining to food regime, 23-Flower germs
-Author of "Ivanhoe," 27-Before.
-Anger.
32. To discharge...
· 33.—Cushioned.
21. Gives off water vapour. 35.--To spank.
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, DECEMBER 9, 1929.
DISCIPLINE
BLUYAS
MY GOODNESS,MOTHER'S MAD ABOUT SOMETHING! WHAT A SCOLDING SHE'S GIVING HIM..
IT DIDN'T WORK.SHE JUST GOES RIGHT ON
TELLING HIM HOW NAUGHTY HE WAS.
AND NOW MOTHER HAS
BURST INTO TEARS!
IT MUST BE BECAUSE HE' KICKED UP SUCH A FUSS ABOUT HIS BOTTLE AND THREW IT ON THE FLOOR,
WHY IS SHE TAKING HIS HAND AND SAYING IT'LL HURT HER MORE THAN IT DOES HIM.
WELL, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, BUT SHE SEEMS TO EXPECT HIM TO CRY, SO HERE GOES
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
MAYBE HE CAN KID HER OUT OF IT WITH SMILES,
WELL FOR PITY'S SAKE, IF SHE DIDN'T GIVE HIM A TAP ON THE HAND, NOT "THAT IT HURT A BIT —
SHE'S GIVING HIM A WONDERFUL CUDDLE IN
HER LAR AND ALL IS JAKE AGAIN.
(Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc. 111-13
HEAVYWEIGHT JUSTIFIES HIS
REPUTATION.
AT H.K. BOXING ASSOCIATION TOURNAMENT.
TWO CHALLENGES ISSUED FROM THE RING
MARINE SMITH WANTS TO FIGHT
A.B. ROWLES.
Boxing enthusiasts who expected to see a long drawn-out and gruelling contest in the heavyweigh: 6ght for the championship of the Colony in the first boxing tourarment arranged by the Hong Kong Boxing Association in the City Hall on Saturday were doomed to disappointment, the fight, ending in a victory for A.B.. Rowles in the third round.
The Welterweight Championship hout also proved a disappoint- ment, ending in the fifth round." A.B. Creighton (H.M.S. Corn- wall). the victor, was afterwards, challenged by Sto. Godden of HS. Cornflower.
KID CAMPBELL'S GAME BATTLE,
[BY FEE LO.]
હું
him to a Gnal epuri. Campbell then injured his right hand badly, stopped the fight-the only obvious and the referee, Mr. H. G. Sheldon, thing to do--despite Carpbell's plucky desire to continue. Lee
secured the verdict.
Fraser and Clayton. The second 'bout WAS
'coutest, westerweight
also a Marine
The City Hall was well-filed with spectators, the Services, of course, heing well represented. Generally speaking, the quality of the boxing was not above the average, the footwork in all but the heavyweight Aght being decidedly amateurish.
The first fight was
Ground welterweight contest between Kid Fraser (H.M.S. Tamur, scaling 145 Campbell (Hong Kong) and A.B. lbs., meeting A.B. Clayton (H.M.S. Les (H.M.S. Sepoy). The blue Berwick) whose weight was given as 147 iba, Both men displayed jacket, who turned the seale at 147 distinct contrasts in styles and de- b3lbs more than his opponent, livery. Clayton attempted rush. adopted whirlwind tactics from the tacties but Fraser was not caught commencement and kept Camp-ent's attacks quite successfully and
napping. He parried his oppon bell's attention fully occupied
Punches Lacked Power,
was able to lead Clayton one or two heavy punches which enabled the first round to end with a point
or two in his favour.
"It was difficult to judge whether Lee was trying to secure a ko. in
The second round. proved that the first round or whether he was Fraser was by far the better boxer merely wearing out his opponent. of the two. His defence evidently He landed several blows without ent who was warned by the referee worried his more exciteable oppon. great difficulty but they lacked for attempting to "bere" with his power. The second round saw a
head during a clinch.
36.-One taking part in outbreak.repetition of three tactics but it
37.--Giver.
40. To conclude.
43.-To turn.
44.-Noted.
47.-Liquor.
45.-A rodent.
AL-Five hundred and one.
53. Prefix: down.
This puzzle took 23 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it.
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
No.1512 ORAND
BETORALSEXKLY
Vertical,
BAT
1.---Servant,
-By.
3.--Oratuity. 4.—A bird.
Valorous persons.
4.-Girl.
7.-Love, god.
B-Sen engle
10-Bural youthes.
11.--Peruses.
YBELKĄ
RAN
DARTES 2113;
D-DIVA 2 GREECE
Creighton a well-delivered punch, on the side of his head. Creighton. then opened up slightly and offer. ed the point of his jaw temptingly to Morrish who, however, refused to fall to temptation, merely at- tempting a faint which, much to his chagrin, was understood by Creighton who Innded double punches neatly. and with some force, on Morrish's body and head. When the geng sounded. it was evident that Creighton was the better boxer of the two,
Clinches were frequent during the Recond round, both men getting in some jarring body jabs. Creigh- ton's blows evidently had the greater effect but Morrish took full advantage of his shorter stature and, forcing himself under his op- ponent's guard, succeeded in adu ing a few points to his Bore Breaking away from A clinch Creighton gave Morrish a stinging full-arm biow on the nose which caused him to reel to the ropes.
The third round saw Creighton. boxing in earnest and finished well in his favour. His footwerk" and fainting found Morrish completely at sen during the fifth round, his long reach keeping the shorter man out of range for the most part.
The Ath round was in the nature of a gruelling affair, both men throwing defence to the winds and concentrating on. vigorous attacks: When the gong sounded both men had given and received fairis hard Morrish gave up on the going, his punishment and, on medical advice, mouth having been severely cut.
Creighton received the Champ- pionship belt from 31r. R. M. Dyer,
Following the interval, most
Harley (H.M.S. Kent) 129 lbs. disappointing fight ocenrred be tween two featherweights, Sto.
zion) 110 lbs., the former securing and Ldg. Sig. Wells (H.M.S. Mara-| the verdict after a poor show.
Heavyweight Championship. Bearing in mind the fact that he A.B. Rowles' victory over Ldg. Sto. was giving his opponent 14 158.. Mann (H.M.S. Cornwell), who turned the scale at 181 lbs., was an achievement of which he might well feel proud.
Both men have splendid records and a fight extending over at least six rounds was anticipated. Mana up during the third round. was hopelessly outfought and gave
Although both contestants start- "ed the first found i au energetic
Both men fought more carnestly manner, each giving a fair display during the third round, Fraser ap-
of boxing, little punishment was was evident that Campbell WAS
Rowles pearing to attempt to bring the received by either men. reserving his strength and wind.fight to a close with a ko. Clay was obviously streets ahead of his At the same time, he was certainly ton was kept on the defensive in
opponent who, however, Was yet the fourth round.
too cautious to follow up the not justified in giving Lee so much
"offered him. Rowles openings In the sixth and last round there latitude and, despite the fact that he scored, nicely just before the were brisk exchanges and Clayton was quicker on his feet and, al- gong, it was evident that he had liore the gong, he was floored by been as powerful as those of Mann, put up a good show-until, just be though hie punches may not have
left his attack too late.
Welterweight Championship.
he delivered them with greater
Care.
: a left to the jaw, Fraser won on The third round. saw. Campbell pointe. compelled to remain on the defen-
Rowles pushed his opponent very sive. Lee was able to get behind
hard during the second round, his guard quite easily, landing four Smun. Creighton (H.M.S. Corn getting home some telling half- half-hooks in rapid succession. The wall), welterweight champion of the hooks and long-arm jabs in the fourth round was practically a
West of England, proved the better midst of lightning-like rushes which repetition of the third. Lee" land-of his opponent, Ldg. Sto. Morrish left Mann game but much bewilder- ed a straight left to Campbell's (H.MS. Hermes), welterweighted. Nevertheless, Rowles received jaw which evidently shook him champion of the China Squadron, one or two blows in exchange, al- rretty severely. Campbell made a in the fight for the Welterweight though they seemed to me to be desperate attempt to scare but the Championship of the Colony. There the result of luck rather than punishment he had received was
was only 4 lbs. difference in the judgment. beginning to tell and he could not weight of the two men, Creighton, equal his opponent's speed and the heavier, turning the scale at footwork.
145 lbs. The fight was referced by Mr. W. Logan.
Rowle's right swings found Mann guessing in the third round, short- ly after the commencement of The fifth round saw Campbell
which Rowles drove his man to the still game but Lee gave him several shorter and stockier" of the two state bordering upon helplessaces. Ldg. Stoker Morrish was the ropes where he trounced him to a ehort-arm jabs to the body with but, while he gave the advantage In a very short time, Mann attract. SELF apparently good effect and floored of height and reach to his opponed the attention of the referee,
him a second JUE
or two before the ent, it appeared at first-that-his Mr. Sheldon, and intimated that he DE
gong
nunchez ere heavier to Aust, wiched to BEDZED he next round was the last,round was of a slow nature and
97799 Campbell receiving a nasty jab on the two men spared around for A. Waistel handed A.B. Rowles Amid loud applause, Vice-Adiniral the face which appeared to rouse some seconds until Morrish landed the Championship Belt,
STAR
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