HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Small Boy (to man sweeping up leaves): Hi, mister, wait a
minute, here's another one comin'""
"Dida't you miss your camping trip this summer?"
No, we stayed home and took' all the screens out of the house,
"I always have the last word in used sand for salt, and then ran.
discussions with my wife."
"How do you manage it
Lay Quite right, my dea
میشه
a month's pay through the food chopper."
Tenant of New "Ideal Home:**
Is your husband hard to pleaseDo-you-know-that there's grass in his cooking?"
coming up between the boards of my dining room?!
No, indeed! Just anything that I don't happen to have suits him perfectly!"
Grpeer (making up his order for the week): "Do we want any new laid eggs, George't'
George. (the assistant): "No, sir: we have enough in the store room for another six weeks”
The two small brother were abed. They had been lying still when their mother entered the room to aay "good night." Michel. 5 years old, asked, "Mother, why do we have a sky
"To
Before his mother could answer, 3-year-old John explained, keep the birds in, of course"
Lite to a multitude of married people is just a little flat.
Of course, there's no room for complaint.
It's a fat-building paradox that ground-floor tenants look down on those higher up.
The largest thing about the fat is the rent.
If the chance was given us to get at the gramophone next door we would break all records
There's very little room in a flat, and ho kid about it.
३।
A schoolboy was asked to write an essay on the seven ages of man.
Shakespeare, he Improving on wrote: There are three ages of man. The hoy thinks out, all the wicked things he will do when he is 'n man. This is called the age of innocenen. When, he becomes a man he does all the wicked things he thought about in his boyhood. This is the prime of life. As he grows old he repents of all the wick ed things he did when he WAJ young. This is the dotage."
¡
Landlord: "Grams! Oh, I'll soon put that right, I'll send round a an with a lawnmower this morn- ing1"
Jimmy: "My dad's nw Iul smart.'
George: "What's he do?"
Jimmy: Why, he's a mechanic and makes locomotives."
!!
George: "That's nothing: my dad's a commuter and makes two trains a day."
A witness appearing in court in
a Southern city was asked:
"What is your name?"
Calhoun Jefferson, suh." "Can you sign your inme?" "Suh?"
• I mak
if you your paine.
"Well, na, suh. Ah nebber writes my name. Ah dictates it, suh."
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 1929.
THE FAMILY ALBUM THE CLOSET LIGHT
LOOKS FOR RUBBERS IN DARK CORNER OF CLOSET
you can
write
FINDS THAT WIL FRED HAS USED UP THE BATTERIES
Mrs. Brown bad presented Brown the motor-car salesman, with a new son. He was overjoyed, and rang up his friend to tell him the glad news, but in his excite- ment he did not make himself quite clear. This was the conversation.-
"Hello, Dick, old man: I've got some good news."
"What a new model ?" "Yes, a beauty: jast arrived this morning."
"What's the body like ""
"Six-eylinder langs.
"Cute, bright headlights, etc., and will soon be the pride of the street. "A grent improvement on the 1997
model."
I'll come over and give it a run out."
Not yet, Dick-it was only born this morning; but come over and look it over.'
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
པ| .
*
|
EWYAS
TRIES TO TURN ON LIGHT BUT FINDS... THAT MILDRED HAS TAKEN THE BULB FOR HER ROOM
SPENDS FIVE MINUTES, TAPPING END OF FLASH-LIGHT, ETC BUT FAILS TO GET ANY LIGHT OUT OF IT.
ULLIAMS (Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
CRICKET.
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
SHOUTS FOR PITY'S SAKE WHERE'S THE FLASH-LIGHT GONE TO ? HE'S GOT TO FIND HIS RUBBERS
STRIKES A.
MATCH.
Bowling Analysis,
B. Baker
O. M. R W.
1 11
34
TH. King. 18.3 1
37
Alexander.....
5 0 *
Sherry
3
0
19
A. V. Baker.... B
0
15
2 ROYAL NAVY.
E. G. Post
* 0 19
DIVISION I.
KOWLOON
The Navy was lucky to draw, their match with Kowloon C.C. on the latter's' ground. Very consistent batting against decidedly weak bowling, saw the home side put on 160 for three wickets, of which Zimmern made a capital 01. The Navy started badly, only Bomphrey making anything of the attack until Glass and Sim made a stand. The last man was on the bridge and the enemy total well below the horizon when stumps were drawn.
Score and analysis:-
Kowloon 0.0.
Police R.O. Alexander, b Petheram 29 Hunter, Lee, b. F. Smith... 50 #Kirby, c Marlow, b F. Smith 1
T. H. King not out Sherry, Raven, b Lee Post, 6 Lee
B. Baker, not out
Extras
16
25
0
13
16
Total (for 5 wickets)......140
Wagland. A. V. Baker, Rey. nolds, and Danbrowaky did not bat.
Bowling Analysis.
4
0. M. R. W
5
15
18
10
1
E. C. Fincher, c Laslett, b
Dalison
G. Lec
52
29
2
H. Overy
0 1
35 0
14
F. E. Lawrence, retired...
F. Smith
02
21 2
E. F. Fincher, st. Downs, b.
R. Petheram ...
Ө
19
Glass
31
A. Raven
2 0
29 I 11 0.
F. Zimmern, not out
61
26
A. T. Lee, not out
Extrag
&
140
Total (for 3 wickets) 100
G. A. V. Hall, N. Mackay, W. Brace, D. Laing, H. T. Buxton, and N. H. Ross did not bat.
Bowling Analysis.
13
117
20
22
127
128
30
132
136
37
42
44
146
148
Lasiett
149
Standard Clasa
4
33 D
0
31
1
151
52
153
54
Bomphrey.
0 90
0
156
63 69
65 66
68
161 162
155
Horizontal. 1.--Blood vessel. 5.-Celestial body. 9.--Timid, 12.To and. in. 13.-Military unit.
14.-Shelter.
13.-By...
16.Opera singer. 18.-Agc. 20.-Type unit.
Parts of body.
2.-Affectations. 27.-Small nail. 29.-Tastes.
31.-Born.
39.-Narcotic
34.-Young animal.
36.-Objective of I.
37. To confer holy orders.
30.-Tifted.
41. Third note of scale.
42.-To jump.
44. Newly married woman.
43.-A worm..
47-African river.
49.Declared.
50-College officer.
$2. To loan.
54.--Mother.
55. To court. 57.-On top. 50.-Alongside. 61. To mature.. 63. To get up.
05. Having power.
07.-Turf,
88-At any time. 60-Golf mounds.
Vertical.
1.--By way of. ·
2. Undertaking. -
2.-Proncun.
4.To bow,
8.-Flexciter.
-Involving calamity.
7 Part of tab
8.A rain.
Killed 10.-Masculine pronoun.
་་་་་
11-Old plural of you. 17.- In" before "L"
19,-Sun god.
21.-Servant.
23,--To box.
25.-Curable.
26. --Sowed.
27-Sounded with deep tone. 28.-Double.
30.-Flat stone.
33.-Aspect.
35. Trees.
38.-Spike.
40.-Country of Asia.
43. To gratify.
40.-Cut.
48. To go in.
51.--Negative.
53. To perform.
30.-Metalliferous rock.
58. To stroke.
80.-Armative.
61.-While..
62. To depart. 64.-Four.
60.-To exist.
This puzzle took 20 minutes to solve. She how long it will take you to solve it.
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
BREDES RE
Dalison
0. M. R. W. 11 0 10 1 8 A 98 0
Royal Navy.
Surgeon-Comdr. Show, e E.
C. Fischer, b Brace Eg.-Lar. Bomphrey, e E. C.
Fincher, b Roas.....
Lt. Stevenson, e E. C. Fin-
cher, b Ross
Lt. Wright, e Zimmern,
FRIENDLIES.
LEARNS THAT WIL FRED WAS USING THE FLASH-LIGHT DOWN CELLAR YESTERDAY, GOES DOWN FOR IT.
IL
BURNS FINGER ON MATCH JUST AS WIFE CALLS HERE HIS RUBBERS ARE UNDER THE HALL RADIATOR.
11-6
The new list of exempted persons will be a very restricted one, ex- cept of course that members of the naval, military, air, volunteer po lleo and district watch services will be exempted in respect of the arms and ammunition used by them in connection with their duties.
¡'
Anti-Piracy Precautions.
Section deals inter alia with the question of firenrins on board i vessels. The present general pro- vision on this subject is that the owner or master of any vessel may have on board "auch arms and am- munition as are reasonably neces sary for the protection of such vessel."
Sub-section (9) of the proposed new section will take out of this exemption vessels which regularly include in their parts of call any place on the East Coast of Asia between Vladivostok and Singa- pere, or any place on any river flowing into the sea on the East "Coast of Asia between Vladivostok and Singapore, or any place in Formosa, provided that the usual extreme trading limits of such vessels do not extend beyond the places specified above.
Such vessels will not be allowed to carry arms while within the. waters of the Colony except under licence from the Inspector General | of Police.
ON
Special Provision for Junks.
This control of the arms vessels trading within the piracy zones will not be a new thing, as it was applied during the currency of the Piracy Prevention Ordin ance, and gave rise to no incon- Junks and other similar
vence.
ARMS AND AMMUNI- vessels have a special provision to
TION.
ORDINANCE TO BE AMENDED.
themselves. They are allowed to have their arms and ammunition on board, if such arms ad ammuni- tion, are enumerated in the licence or clearance, and are reasonably necessary for the protection of the vessel.
Section 6 amends section. 8 SHIPS IN PIRACY ZONE MUSTtion of whether the vessel in because it is not A quet.
HAVE LICENCES.
An amendment to the Arros and Ammunition Ordinance of 1900 will
be introduced shortly in the Legis-
question is Chinese or non-Chinese but whether it is of a certain type.
M. SERGEI STUPIN,
lative Council. Among the propos CELLIST AT THE QUEEN'S
ed alterations is the widening of the term ammunition..
Ammunition now includes
() every shell, cartridge ease, bomb, hand grenade, or projectile, whether containing any explosive
TO-DAY TO TUESDAY
100%
ALL
ALKING
RONALD COLMAN
IN AND AS
BULLDOG DRUMMOND
HONG KONGS GREATEST
TALKIE
ADDED ATTRACTION
SERGEI STUPIN Celebrated Russian
'Cellist
AT THE
QUEEN'S
At 2.30, 5.10. 7.169.20.
CELLIST AT THE QUEEN'S STAR
!
The management of the Queen's IA now introducing a Russian Sergei Stupin to their patrons. His 'eellist of rare accomplishment, M.
or gas or chemical or not, and wherecitals will be given at all per her intended to be discharged from.with the film programme.
formances this week in conjunction
Gres
me-
r by any gun or other propelling or releasing instrument or
Though little more than thirty chanism or
not, except hand years old, M. Stupin may be ranked grenades which can be used only with the best 'cellists of to-day. He H. OWEN HUGHES XI. . H. V. for the purpose of extinguishing studied under Louis Fisher and
PARKER'S XI.
afterwards with the famous Pro- fessor Wergbilowitch, who, it is said, heard him in 1967 at a concert by his excellent playing and later in Leningrad and was astonished assisted 1. Stupin to complete his studies. He was graduated as the
laureat
of the Imperial Con-
or
(ii) every part of any such shell, Mr. Owen Hughes' XI. had very cartridge case, homb, hand grenade much the better of the game on or projectile, whether such shell, the H.K.C.C., ground.
cartridge case, bomb, hand grenade Batting firat Owen Hughes' menor projectile may have been com- put on 178 for 7 wickets, the prin pletely formed at any time or not; cipal scorer being Armstrong who hit out well for his 52. Moor (28),
(i) every fuse, percussion cap, Remington (27), Harris Walker (29. used for the purpose of exploding priming cap, which could be not out) and Mr. Extras (24) also any shell, bomb, hand grenade or helped things along. Parker took 3
ather projectile; wickets for 31. Skinner (48) and. Batger 30, made an excellent first wicket stand, but after they had gone only Marton (17) stood up to the attack. 19
Owen Hughes tried
A
Brace
0
Lt. Evans, b Brace...
0
Sub-Lt. Glass, c E. C. Fin-
cher, à Ross
21
Lt-Com. Sim, 1.b.w., b Ross 21
Mid. Stannard, b Ross ......
:
A.B. Lasiett, not out
4
O. A. Davies, c and b Brace 1 L. Dalison, not out
6
Extras
14
Total (for wickets)......101
Bowling Analysis.
A. T. Lec Ross Brace
O. M. R. W. 4 1 17 0 17 @ 32 10 240 4 E. C. Fincher.... 21 B
B
0
LEAGUE-DIVISION II.
POLICE R.C. v, K.C.C. 2nd XI.
Stumps were drawn in this metch when the home side, the Police, needed three runs to win and had five wickets in hand. For the visitors, Smith, Lee, Jex and the ever reliable Petheram, were respon- sible for a respectable 142 for 8 wickets, declared. The Police made a spirited bid for victory Alexander and Hunter and Sherry all hitting out well..
Score and analysis:-
Kowloon 0.0.
E. Smith, e and b B. Baker... 27 A. Dand, b Alexander
0
A. Raven, c Baker, b Sherry, 3
C. Lee, 1.b.w., b B. Baker... 22.
S. Jex, run out, b A. Baker... 19
5
A. Kew, b B. Baker
B. Petheram, e Kirby, b T..
14
15
H. King
J. Barlow, b A. Baker
R. Raven, not out
-Extras
Toth! (for 6 wickets)...
.142'
out nine bowlers. He, himself, Moor and Remington each got a brace and Williams got one-but his 4 overs cost 31 runs.
Score:-
H. Owen Hughes' XI.: 178 (for
7 wickets, declared). H. V. Parker's XI.: 116 (for
wickets.
CRAIGENGOWER 1. INDIAN
R.C.
(iv) every bullet clip.
or cartridge
(e) an explosive when enclosed in any case or contrivance, or other wise adapted or prepared so as to form a cartridge, charge, or com plete round of small arms, cannon, or any other weapon, or to form any tube for firing explosives, or to form a detonator, a projectile, or other contrivance than a firework, which can be used either singly or in suitable combinations, as, or in connection with; a missile;
(i) everything which may be de- clared by regulation made by the Governor in Council to be ammuni- tion.
Playing at Sookunpoo the IR.C. casily defeated Craigengower by 121 runs. Batting first the winners
Fewer Persons to be Exempt. ran up 102 for wickets, O. Ismail The definition of the term "ex making 36, A. K. Minu 18, and A, empted person" H. Madar 21. U. M. Omar had the ordinanes is also to receive altera- in the principal very fine analysis of 6 wickets for tion. The list of exempted persons
35 runs.
•
many frearms in the Colony of which the police know nothing.
Craigengower made a sorry show-result is that there are a great at present is very large, and the ing being all out for 41 runs (A. B. Hamson 12) M, K. Abbas 2 for A. R. Minu, 3 for 18, J. S. A Curreem, 2 for 0, A. A. Rumjahn, 3
No doubt many of the persons for 1, took the wickets.
exempt at present keep with the Score:-
greatest care any firearms which
·I.R.C.: 183 for wickets, de- they may possess, but others may
clared:
| be more careless, and their firearms C.C.C.: 41.
may be stolen and may get into the hands of armed robbers and other criminals. The control of firearms is very strict in England now, and it seems desirable that we should follow that example here.
(Continued on nest Column.)
CRAIGENGOWER II. v. L.R.C.
II.
The IR.C. seconds also. bent C.C.C., at the Happy Valley, by. 31 runs, F. Suttill 21, W. Gill 27, W. B. Musktet 23, were the scor
ers.
For 1.R.C. A. R. Suffiad made 18, ground, 2 of their wickets having C. F. Doodha 25, J, S. Ackber 28 fallen for 69 when the game finished, not out, Sirdar Khan 19, Mr. Extras as against the home team's 107. For 26. For I.R.C., A. R. Rumjahn took the C. de R. D. P. Xavier made 4 for 30 and M. Fakin 3 for 22,18, F. H. Carvalho 20 and H. A. while for C.C.C., Sourbutts took 4 Noronha 18, R. Loe taking five for 33 and Abbas 3 for 23.
RECREIO 1. DIOCESAN BOYS' SCHOOL.
The DRS, were rather lucky to draw with Recreio. at the latter's (Oontinued &t foot of next column),
wickets for 38. For the School F. K. Lee made 10 and H. Prata 25, And though every one got a few the score was rather thin.
Score:-
Clab de Recrcio: 107′′*! Diocesan Boys' School; 00 for
a wickets.
servatory in 1914.
THE
GEISHA
BOOK
Your Seats
At
Anderson's
TO-DAY.
AVOID, and CURE COUGHS, COLDS,
SORE THROATS, BRONCHITIS, elc. by Taking VALDA PASTILLES
On Sale at all Chemists & Dragdate,
INSIST on the boxes bearing,
The EPIC DRAMA of the WEST
"THE
FLAMING
FRONTIER
with
HOOT GIBSON
aad
Dustin Farnum.
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY At 5.30 & 9.20.
WORLD
GLENN
TRYON
1
IT CAN
BE DONE
with
SUE CAROL
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY At 5.15 & 9.20.
At 2.30 &.7.45. Chinese Picture Flute of Tears.
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