9
HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERNA
"Tommy, can you tell me one of the uses of cowhide ?"
"Er-yessir. It keeps the cow together.
Radio Dealer: "You want a radio?"
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 1929.
Rugby Captain (to new player who has just come into violent con- tact with the, ground for, the hun dredth time): How do you feel 1" Player: Full-full of grit.”
Mazie:
Customer: "Yes, but ze maswell." chine, she must speak French.'
I have tickets for the theatre." Good! I will start dressing at once."
Do, dear, they are for to-morrOW night."
I see that more than 12,000 works of fiction were published last year."
"Does that include all the sced catalogues?"
What will they vote the chair- man .of the endowment 'mittee "
com-
"The man who has dunned most för Yale, s'pose."
She: Do you really love me, *Enery """
He: "Of course I do." She:
Then why don't your chest go up and down like the men's on the films 1"
"I've just had my photo taken. What do you think of it?"
"It's very like you. Have you paid for 'em 1"
"No."
It's very like you,"
Edith," said the young man at last, breaking the silence, I have a question to ask you-an impor- i tant one."
"Y-y-yes, Tom ?" faltered the young lady.
"FI-I-well, anybow, my name's going to be printed in the paper soon, and 1-I-I wondered whether it would be among the deaths orar among the marri ages, along with yours
23 24
27
30
20
į
This book ends just
"Yeah! How's it be
Daisy": fin ""
Mazie: Oh, I haven't come to that yet."
Beggar: "Could you help peor man wob's starving?'**
Old Lady: "You should remove your hat while talking to a lady." Deggar: "I can't, mun; it's, got sandwiches in it.”
Wife (plaintively):
"Remem-
ber, dear, how often we dined cut when we were first married?”
Husband: Yes, but don't you think your cooking has improved immensely since then ".
Teacher: "Who was the King of France during the Revelation 1" Confused Student: "Louis the Thirteenth-no, the Fifteenth-no, the Fourteenth-no, the-well, any how, he was in his 'teens.'
I hope there are no barking dogs in the adjoining flats,"
Oh, no, mum. Nothing like that."
That's lovely. You see, I have two of my own that bark most of the time, and I really couldn't stand any more.
"You are the only gentleman in the room. said a stranger.
Kuest.
In what way, sir asked the When I tripped in the dance, and went sprawling of the floor, tearing my fair partner's dress, you were the only one in the room who did not laugh."
The lady in my wife, and 1. paid ten pounds for that dress yes terday."
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
16
17
6 19 10
12
13
"
£17. 18
19
22
26
28
132
36
37
38 39
40
41
42
43
44
45
[46]
47
50
152 153
54
55
56
57
1.-Flap.
Horizontal.
4. To coagulate.
8.-West Indian magic. 11.-Wrath.
12-Howser.
13.--Season of fasting.
15. Resounded.
17.-To bow. 19.-To act. 90.-Away. 21.-Conjunction, 22.-Port of mouth,
23. To season.
-An organ.
20.-Parties.
27.--Queer.
98.-Man's name... 29.-Unit of energy. 30.-Part of infinitive.
31.--Bondage.
33.-Belonging to. 35.-Object. 30.--Ago.
37.-Gaming cube.
む
38.-Carried on person. 40.-Possessive pronoun. 41.-Kept.
42.Arctic bird.
43.-Sorrow.
44. To rest.
45.-Pronoun,
46.-Enclosure.
JI
47-To carry to higher court.
-Group of three.
62.-Small particle.
34,--Cunning.
55. Conclusion.
36.8n be it!
37.-Golf mound.
1. Cravat.
Vertical.
3-Part of circumference. 3-Look!
4-In music: character denoting
pitch.
5.-Cover.
0-Over and touching.
7, Male voice.
8.-Antique,"
9.-To exist.
10-Asiatic country.
14-Caps.
48 49
10. Poetic: frequently. 18.-Conjunction.
21.-Ingenuousness. 22.-Part of body.
23-Heavy drinker. 21.-Fus
23.--Guido's high note. 20. To attempt.
229,--A treo.
20.-Sea bird of prey. 31-Evil deed.
32.-Goddess of dawn. 33.-To grease,
31,-Provided provender. 35.-Chest.
37.-To abhor.
35. To hesitate.
30.Strikingly odd.
40.-Old Greek çolony. 41.-Part of body. 43.-Pronoun,
44. To extend over.
46.-Seed container. 47.-Devoured. 48.—Malt beverage. 40.-Caustic substance. 51.-Within,
33.-Hindu mystic word.
This puzzle took 20 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it.
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
10.3435
MAG DRAPE IRE 107 REF
BOALIBI
130
DO MED - SPREAD HOYANCE
3319 BOL ZORN 79048XDED 17A JFBROD NON DE
AD ZOURC STAP ERIST BA128 C 780 BABBO ZE)
THE WORLD AT ITS WORST-THE CHILD AT THE DOOR
By GLUTAS WILLIAMS
| SMALL GIRL ANSWERS
| DOOR BELL AND YOU ASK
BRIGHTLY IS THIS MRS. DININICK'S HOUSE AND IS
SHE IN?
HORSE WHISPERS COME FROM UPSTAIRS FROM SOMEONE JUST OUT OF [A TUB, ASHING WHO
SIT?
GIRL BEGINS TO LICK JAM OFF FINGERS AND STARES AT YOU UNTIL YOU GET FIDGETY
SMALL GIRL SHOUTS IT'S JUST A MAN, AND GLES ON STARING
(Copyright, 1923, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
AT LAST GIRL, STILL, STARING AT YOU OVER. SHOULDER, RETREATS IN- TO HALL SHOUTING*MO- THER, THERES A MAN HERE!
YOU CALL IN HOUSE PLEASE DON'T BOTHER, YOU JUST WANTED TO SEE MRS-DIMMICK, AND YOU MUST HAVE. THE WRONG
HOUSE
GIRL RETURNS. YOU TRY TO RELIEVE AWKWARDNESS EV ASKING CHEERY QUES- TIONS ABOUT SCHOOL,ETC., BUT SHE ONLY STARES
SMALL GIRL IS DIRECTED TO SHOW YOU MRS. DIM-' MICK'S HOUSE, SHE POINTS] ``VÄGUELY DOWN STREET, AND
DISAPPEARS STILL LICKING JAM OFF FINGERS
PICTURES AND PLAYS.
The same night was given "Les The Co-Optimists started, their Sylphides," the grace of which welcome new venture at the Vaude was impressed by the finished dan-ville, London, recently under the
direction
de of Archie Bear, cers and the clever orchestration of] Clifford Whitley, and Greatrex excerpts from Chopin, and the Newman, and with several of the ever-welcome
former favourite Co-Ops. These "Boutique Fantas included Davy "Burnaby, Betty que," danced to Respighi's ex- Chester, Phyllis Monkman, Elsa Hilarating arranging of music by Macfarlane, Stanley Holloway, and Melville Gideon. Other clever Rossini This season's conductor, I entertainers included Peggy Petro Mr. Roger Desormiere, is a young nella, Charles Collins, and Harry Parisian musician who thoroughly Pepper. Laddie Cliff produced. justifies bis responsible position. One of the episodes was a "talkie" He evidently is animated by the-akit called The Hammersmith spirit of the dance and is resour- Broadway Melody.' ceful.
"The Hell Within" was the arresting title of a play adapted from an Italian drama by Guido Stacchini, presented at the Arts Theatre Club Londou, for six per- formances.
+
Carpet Slippers," a new play by W. A. Darlington (author of All's Button "), was produced by Reginald Bach for Martin Henry in the English provinces for three weeks. The principal charactere were played by Margaret Yarde, Baena Bent, Dode Watts, and Horace Hodges,
The winding up of the British "The Sign of the Cross" has
The Covent Garden bill recently National Opera Company revealed been acquired from Miss Wilson- included Stravinsky's "Apolló á failure of tragic character. The
Barrett by Philip Ridgeway, who Musagetes." This, it will be re- company started inauspiciously on
will start touring the English pro-membered, is admitted to be " the collapse of Sir
therewith in the early piece without a plot" beyond re- Thomas vinces Beecham's operatic venture, but
autumn. One might well hope vealing the birth of Apollo and his its promoters had the faith and that another great run is in store subsequent instruction of the enthusiasm of individual succeases
for this powerful and pulsating Muses." The naive suggestion of and experience and were encourag drama, which, despite the late the former is crude and the in ed by many promises of public sup-ul description of it as "a Balva
William Archer's cheap and sneer-
structive portion of the ballet sug port. The organisation, which was |
gests an enthusiastic drill sergeant of co-operative and self-govern- tion Army pantomime, drew mil-
at a gymuasium, but it afforded ing character, had the valuable lions of playgoers all over the opportunities for a fine display of artistic direction of Mr. Frederic English-speaking world and made the technical skill of Mr. Serge Austin, and it succeeded in attain-
a big fortune for its lamented | Lifar and Mmes. Danilova, Teher- ing an excellence of ensemble un- author, Wilson Barrett.
nicheva, and Doubrovska. "The surpassed by any previous coin-
most that can be said of the music pany, "apart from possessing ex
is that, with the exception of some ceptional individual talent. One "The Subway,' a new play by really atrocious discords, it does cannot help contrasting this fai- Elmer Rice, author of that futuris-nos distract attention from the ac- Ture with the present suscers of the tic cubistic tragedy "The Adding tion: Carl Rosa Company, now in its Machine," was presented by the fifty-second year. There is no Lyceum Club Stage Society at the question that the B.N.O.C. perfor¦ Carrick. The cast included mances were on a higher grade of Beatrix Thompson, Marie Ault, excellence than those of the Carl Henry Hallatt, Abraham Sofaer, Rosa, also that the British "public and Henry Hewitt.
Producer, always patronises the best.
Robert Atkina. **:
11
+1
A comedy with personality
verve !
gaiety
· — gusto
DENNY
REGINALD
RED HOT SPEED
He thought she was a mad, "modern giri -so the court paroled her in his care – theo Complications! Thrills! Laughter !
AT THE
QUEEN'S
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
At 2.30, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
PRODUCED IN FRANCE!
An unusual farce-comedy, full of amusing situations and a surprise ending I
MAXIM'S BAR
AT "THE
with
BOY
ERIC BARCLAY
WORLD
FINAL SHOWINGS, TO-DAT
At 6.15 & 9,20,
CHINESE PICTURE "THE UNCONQUERABLE" at 2.30 & 7.15.
BASED ON THE FAMOUS COMIC STRIP!
BRINGING UP FATHER
George McManus's famous comic strip brought to the screen in a riotous comedy of the family which.... tried to drag father up to society's heights ! AT THE
▪་་
STAR
U
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
RED HOT SPEED.”
The Matriarch," now running successfully at the Royalty, will be presented in America by the Shu- berta. Mrs. Pat Campbell's part REGINALD DENNY IN GOOD will be played by Constance Collier.
VEIN.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
AN ELECTRIC BREAKFAST.
PIANO KEYS AND KNIFE
HANDLES.
HINTS FOR HOME DYERS.
(BY OUR FILM CRITIC]
"Red Hot Speed" which you should see to-day at the Queen's, is a fast-moving and really amus.
ing picture. Reginald Denny has,
I think, never been, so truly fury
Most of us try our hands at dyeing Electricity has done a lot towards
these days, but it is always a prob or so little the professional clown The handles of knives, piano keys, i lem to know what colours take as in this film. The story does not transforming what used to be the and ivory ornaments turn yellow in which dyes, or how to get a certain matter, gave that it takes us into dreariest meat of the day into a time from the oil in our fingers and shade of colour. Here is a helpful the law courts bright and cheery send-off for the the acids in the air. They can be list from someone in the job."
of America, 120 day's work. In these times of rush made from, methylated spirits and peacock blue, tobacco or dark district attorney (Denny) and a
cleaned by rubbing with a paste
Light blues will take dark blue, deals with the love affairs of a and hurry it seems impossible to get whiting."
brown and deep green, Light blue
| warm water.
Dark blue turns purple by using
all the family assembled at once for ¦ Make the paste the thickness of will become lavender if dipped in pretty young woman with a peD- breakfast, and the problem of keep- | rich cream. Leave it on the pink dye, or violet with a purple chant for speeding (Alice Day). ing food hot, or preparing it at articles for twelve hours, then re-dye.
Much as my British 'soul deplores short notice, is u barassing one for move with a cloth wrung out in the housewife.
But given an electric grill, a de- When using th on piano keys licious breakfast can be prepared be careful that nee of the whiting very quickly, and being cooked on gets into the 'keyboard, the table, it can be eaten piping hot.
Aluminium Pans.
Coffes Percolators.
geranium red tint. Reds can be the levity of the U.S.A. courts, as made into beautiful shades of plum represented in the screen, I can. and beet-root by using a saxe blue not but feel that the labours of | dye.
reporting the investigation of the Navy blue dye makes red maroon. purple changes red into a delightful misdemeatours of some of cur wine abade. A blue dye turne fellow Colonists, might be enliven yellows green, or a rich, deep shade
of yellow can be obtained by dip ed if the local bench paid a visit ping it into golden or deep brown to the Queen's to-day to see the way they have in Merry America
Bacon or kippere can be grilled A simpler form of electric stove underneath, or toast can be made that can be fixed to any electric scrambled eggs and sausages can be connector outlet, just has a top grip
dye. cooked on the top. Water for tea, for boiling, frying, stewing and But make sure for yourself by test-of conducting these affairs! or coffee, can be boiled whilst you toasting. Or there is an electric ing the dye with a piece of old are cooking the bacon, and there is toaster which toasts a slice a minute material before plunging in the a space in the lower part of the It has a flat top, so a coffee pot can whole garment. grill where chips can be crisped up be kept hot whilst tosst is being. at the same time.
For electric cooking, always use aluminium pans, and for the sake of the men-folk who never can remem her that pan handles are apt to get hot, see that they have insulated
bandles.
made. The
electric coffee percolator
AMERICAN ICING.
{RAT CAUSES A TRAGEDY,
A rat running about in a potato patch in a garden near Beaulien, & New Forest hamlet, was respon aible for the death of a woman.
makes the most perfect coffee, all For American icing, use 1 lb. ready and hot on the table, whilst loaf sugar, pint water, two egg with an electric kettle relays of tea whites. Whisk the egg whites can be made for every straggling slightly. Dissolve the sugar in the Mrs. Annie Dymott, aged fifty- breakfaster,
water and boil until it begins to six, called her husband's attention Should food boil over, dip or there are electric table heaters in mometer). Pour the syrup ever the of it with a gun. He did not see For keeping food hot on the table get ropy (240 degrees, sugar, ther to the rat, and he went in search brush it off at once. Do not attempt different designs and sizes. In fact, whisked whites and stir over very the rat, and on returning to the to scrape it off with a knite or any it ia remarkable what a lot of com- gentle hent. until metal instrument before removing fart one can get for very little ex- thickens. Then pour over the cake.ed, the charge entering his wife's mixture house the gun accidentally explod- the switch plug.
pense the use of electricity at When cold, decorate the cake with body. She collapsed and died
chopped walnuts.
within a few minutes.
(Continued on next Column).
meal times.
the
At 5.30 & 9.20.
QUEEN'S
T
Ο
HORDAUS.
LAST DAY TO-DAY 2.30 & 7.15
NOTE THE TIMES."
HIMROD'S Asthma Cuer give instanLE relief. Sufferer from asthma, hay fever, coughs and colda xas this remedy of 50 Years' acassailing. As all chemists.
HIMROD'S
Asthma Cure.
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