1919-06-21 — Page 4

RHEUMATISM, LUMBAGO & SCIATICA.

THE HONGKONG, HAILY PRESS. SATURDAY, JUNE

Rheumatism, Lumbago and Sciatica are three of the most common and most painful complaints and practically arise from the same cause and the names daly distinguish the location of the disease. If the arms and legs are affected it is called. Rheumatism: if in the Loins. Lumbago: and in the hip. Sciation. The attacks are generally brought on by chills when the body is overheated. or by exposure to

damp or cold draughts, which act, not upon the bones ar muscles but upon the Uric Acid in the Blood. which is the cause of the disease. The failure of the Liver and Kidneys to filter and absorb this Acid leads to an actumulation in the system, tends to clog the circulation, and burden the tissues forming the blood vessels. Thus every movement of the affected Parts causes you intense agons. The pains are affected more or less by cold or heat. A damp day- will double you up. r the warmth of the bed will intensify the pain. Rheumatism in generally regarded as one of the most difficult ailments to cure, and invariably medicines are tried simply with the hope of temporary relief. Dr. MORSE'S INDIAN ROOT PILLS have been wonderfully successful A sudden reinge of park.

not merely affording a vessation of the pain, but by driving the poison out of the blood and restoring the joints to their original suppleness. They get at the cause as no other remedy does. They get at the foundation of the complaint which is the bipodi and a trial will abundantiv prove the wonderful efficacy of this remedy.

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THE CADDIE AS HUMORIST.

BY THORNTON HALL,"

As a student of human nature in its vari nus, and especially in its least

*** THE DOWNPOUR"

XIST

1919.

A COMEDY OF THE PRESS

HOREAU,

Now that the Press Bureau is in anti-

guarded moments the "golf caddie haa | cul, ngartis, with no mourners round iss opportunities which fall to "few ; and those inch, the story, hitherto unwritten, of who know him "best scurvely "know which Lord of its characteristic freaks of censor izo marvel at most the keenness of his | ship may be of interest.

jrevption or the terse,, graphic way in

A DOWNPOUR:

The ful began with the publication of i | which he gives expression to it.

an advertisement in the Sunday Tunes of This is more particularly true of the day th That, which commenced as fol- caddie” north,of, the Tweed, who is met | pho unly a "shrewd student of own, but an unconscious humorist of a very refrends ing type. Ask him to describe anyone of his patrons, and be will sketchs hus for you to the life in a sentence as clover as it is ufted untlattering -

Ra, Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain Rain Rain the rain it raineth every day from, Sunday morn to Sataindlay, night--with just a glimmer of sunshine flicked in here and there to show there's no ill-feeling - allotment holders, all happy with fine

When a golfe wished to inutify ou th it. Andrews links a gentleman, who was only known to him by name he asked of carrots, onions, cabbages and peas, but P. G. drivers bitching their his caddie what manner of booking man

capes up to their chins and thespecials Captain Black was.

wondering why in the name of St. Swithin and all that's holy they ever took

·wn and the farmers and our old na Job

Came

dhe answer like a flash, he's just a bull nockis, hog-backit bandy leggit chick and

Not a com fe for a gowfer. plimentary pirtuer, it is true; but was ever portrait sketched in words with more

ad vigour!.

NO CAMOUSLAGE

No bae has a loftier ventethpt than the Faddis the the man why sails under false colours as the following stories prove. When a golfer asked his club carrier who

wertain player with a promineed mili tary swagger was, the boy replied in "I don't rightly ken the accents of scorn, mn's name, but he's a major or some; thing as lest he's not peat major, but he userried a major's widow and took the

title.

"Another caldi- was standing at the first co, holding a gorgeous tarian bag

That's a graf filled with new idios bag ye dive there, Jimmie," said a golfer Phat have we here today! let. The Macgregor, or The

answered Jim

Th

'

Pump

E

the cesters un tenter hooks all the time, not kowing where they are going to fetch up. -with an occasional blessing on the par- sans for not minding their own business.

Four days later the following letter was vereis ed:

Official Press Bureau,

Whitehall, S. W. 1. 1st August, 1915.

On the front purge of Tler Sanding Thats of July 5th there appears an advertise Phient headed "A. Downpour," which con stitutes ne serious breach of the instruc tions issued to the Posse in orgard to wear ther reports. We shall be glad to reviye an explanation af how, you came to puh fish this advertisement.

The Editor. Sastay Toures, To this the Editog replied as fullons:-

Is your letter to be taken on wrrienat We cannot understand bow. the advertis ment in question gan be regarded as being an informative statement of the weather position."and therefore as £ reach of the instructions on the subject. Perhaps you will lighten our darkness.

Mandarins de ust like to have fun poked at them, and the Bureau promptly rejilier, nx follows:---

to huo.

Macintosh Na. na.

a sniff chapeut mie with ab

it's it simply Me. Moses Pays As a ritie of morals, to the Sets saddi has his own, Viens na droid-dis not as orthodox, as those any mins ter of the kirk. A caddie (the story i told by Mr. Horses Hutchinson; unde testified his master's merits in these

Official Press Bure a has freespoken gentle

Whitehall, S.W. 1, mar hut whiles blasphemicus"; and, in:

****

3rd August, 1918. 15€ Amuch as the remark in the mouth

La reply to a war letter of yesterday, our this particular dritic transgressed so lag

the spirit of the proverb abtended to be taken seriously, and we do

Letter of the 1st August was certainly in glass houses and the throwing of stones not understand your inquiry. An adver

further question was at with the view of eliciting the laddie's views upon the tenent which states that it has lan rain

till ing from Sunday morning moral

Saturday profane swear night, which is hended A Bonpear sajd hon aye it's

in large, letters, but," he continued--su-

which is followed by the wor! the position of the

Rai repeated seven times, is as serious a breach of the instructions stern moralist for a more msthetic stand

ised to the Press in regard to weather Doint of criticism**

reports as can be imagined, and we still avait your explanation..

awfu

زاده

محمود

of to the convair it's a gran' set.

onwerin But there is a time for for most other things and it is well to kerp strong Tanging in check when it interferes wi

with the game,

you w

This trust was

เnd

The Editor, Sunday Times,, 'a

It was impossible to argue seriously with such wooder-headed obsetrantism. and the Editor, with past experience of the Bureau, decided to await the conse- quenges implied, in this portentous cam munication Events justified him for the Buranu tamely submitted to be ignored.

POTSDAM AUCTION,

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the opinion of a caddie where employer bad been making the air quite suiphurous with his Inngange

Ary," disastrous effects with on his play Man, jur, said the censor at last, unable to suppress his pro- test any longer th

if -you wind keep your tongue aff the b

your c'en on it. would

play letter This

however, was but the view of another caddie who was aceinpanying a young divine on one of his first rounds of the links. At ffch foozled shot, the elerie set his teeth more grimly, and grew more purple in the Face, unsil at last his could stand it as longer. companion.

ut

he exclaimed, in a wi .ic. tone half of command, balf of entreaty:

with swe

swear, for if ve dinng qu'il never learn! play i gow!

The Potschun stables, once the price of of a Scottish the Kaiser, housed 500 horses. Some werd similar

story is miinister, whose ball found its war with veterans which were being carefully tend exasperating persistency from one bunkered until they died. into another, with results that began to Great Frunds witrusted the sale. seizure. Sot Among the public were two of the ex- mufti. On the first day sixty-seven horses were sold, including one of the ex-Kaiser favourites on which he had often inspect the Potsdum Guard. The Veteran

zi

cot to

The ex-Kaiser's horses were "ecently sold by auctions by order of the Scheider mann (overnment at Potsdam.

..

threaten an app is tightly-set | Kaiser's sons, Jameitin and Osear, in i

word, however. lips until in despair

ابرو

at last exclained, It's na gude. Donald! I hae togel it. WE

Gin what

up/

queried -Demand-Cl-kirk-umthe "gowf? Eh, tuan, y mum think of desirin the barger fetched £10 gow!

Most of the horses were sold to private conerrus, but Avg on which

" differett was the coänsel given bymaiser had ridden during the war i

another caddie to a movien who had miss- | the ex

"

+363

Keflect on the condition of your hale. So what Hariane Hair-Drill with unfailingly do taimprove lia growth and keepit in a perfectly healthy condition. When your hair là attacked by scurt, dryzeja, ever grenstress, and hegins to fall äut and. became brittle, tale and weak. It needs the beneficial treatment al Hartonar-Drül" in giva new health and strength

tu the impoverished hæle tanie.

Then apply Barlene, the wonderful hair toale and foul. Sprakta it into the hair, kad gentip rh the mulp with your fingertips according to the scientifg yes simple instruction contained in the Baie-Drill Main. This nourishes the halg roots, and thus

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law, AB you have to do is to detach the Coupon

ed the ball with every one of his clubs. were bought by Prussian moblemen na Turning in despair to the boy, he asked." souvenirs. The money from the sale of What would you advis me to unke the horse and the state carriages and

Tak next" Jext

tie dis harness will go into the State cuffers. gusted answer: I'm thinking sed

inst- ter tak the next train hame." And be did.

The last charge that can be brought

On the second day of a golf match one against the average Scots caddie is that of the competitors appeared in a of flattery. Not only is he no respecter suit of a very startling pattern, but persus-be will speak his mind as unfortunately his pay was by no means of frankly to a marquis as to a major--but

as striking as his Palment. After mis- his candour often takes the most unilat

Intiag

several easy puts he turned to his tering forms, as in the case of the one caddie and exclaimed,What on earth who was asked by his employer what he can be the matter with me? I played & thought of bin a golfer golfer"

good deal better yesterday was the scornful reply, thus appealed to put on an air of wisdom He canna play a dam-why, he's and delivered himself, thus, Ye sad muckle better than yersel Or that

uw in a other cuide to whom the golfer, after for y

Play

a pair of new breeks; be lookin' at them when & good

word of con stroke, turned for

ye and be lookin at revered buitie" has

ba gratulation

That was a good one.

Even grave anci be said with pride."Ah." said

no terrors for the club-bearer who is POST THIS FREE GIFT FORM "it's the first shot ye've struck at these

three days

giver to frankness, as this story is proof. enddie had been sent to prison for Better still, perhaps, is the story of drunkenness by the stranger to the links, who, after only recently been elevated to the bench: who had * gentleman describing his excellencs to this caddie, and when he was a free man again enquired about the form of Colonel was engaged to carry the clubs of the with

Jock,

game.c

#

yell

boy

whom he was fixed up to play Justice who had sentenced him to durante match. The Colonel's verra, terra bad. At a crucial point of the match the sirt shockin' bad," was the answer ballic had a put of less than a foot to canna

Ah!" said the saw the bole He mired it Thia wa tan

report caddie's oportunity, of his adversary.

said then I'm sure to beat him, what?" Na, na, answered the boy. sadly, as the "baille" turned away in dis "I'm thinkin' ye'll no beat the Colonel jail for far less than that!"

gust. there's mony a man been sent to

DIRCONCERTING.

Equally disconcerting was the answer given by another of the clan.

Hin as

MERCT!

Equally, amusing is the story of the too confident player who, having before him

ter had been playing simply disgrace a hole of 300 yards, observed that it was

fully and partly by way

of apology, partly hoping for. a word of encourage

merely a drive and a putt.” Having missed his drive completely, his caddie I'm playing abominably. Did sep a worse player 7.7

you ever voice, and said, 7 The boy remained

for a de'il of also that putt silent, with a far-away look, as if absorb St. Andrews who, after watching the

As

of the caddie 'at ed in thought. Have you ever known English novice raise huge divats at every a worse player ?"!

the question was re-stroke, could restrain his indignation no peated, when at last the answer came, longer, and exclaimed "Hoot. mon

I'm just thinkin', sir."

Have mercy on pair auld Scotland.”....... (Continued at foot of next column.) - Glasgow Weekly Herald.

ment, he turned to his caddie and said: turned to 100. #couragement "in his

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