1960-10-10 — Page 6

Page G

THE CHINA MAIL, MONDAY, OCTOBER 14, 1960.

WHY I NEVER MARRIED Curious

Never

has it been

easier to find

a husband..

And yet

never have

there been so

many spinsters

BEGINNING THE PERSONAL PHILOSOPHIES OF SOME OF THE GREAT UNATTACHED

Never before have there

been so

many unmarried

And

before have

women in England.

yet

never

marriage prospects been so high.

For the first time for as

long as you care to look

back there is a surplus of

eligible men.

I'VE

me more

Olga Dotording portrait by William Lovelace.

There was, inevitably, one 'VE stayed single be-

Не man I did want to marry. cause nothing mad- thought I was a pretty useless didn't want to dens

than person and

marry me. it was to prove waste. And I don't want him that I could perform a

ful service to the community more to chance wasting my and do without nightclube and women are choosing to self. When a girl is old high living that I went stay single. Now, certainly enough to marry,

But more

and

she

finds herself in a certain social frame of mind.

as never before, there is such a depth of emanci-

Maybe she's lonely, or she's she just pation that normal, been hurt. Maybe

A

wants to get away from her happy, healthy woman parents, or step up her social

pushion, or achieve security. can throw convention in.

the

face of supreme opportunity and deny her sacred right to be a wife and mother.

Hers is a special and un- proved freedom elected at the expense of irretriev- able loss. She will be lone ly, resigned, frustrated, content, and utterly in- trovert. She will be a force

to contend with. A woman infinitely worth knowing.

Anyhow, she's susceptible to mariage because she wants to gel something put of it for her self. When a man comes along whom she recognises as "her type" she marries him.

My regret

Well, I used to think there was nothing I could get out of marriage that I haven't already gol. I have everything, and stand to lose in the long run. I didn't have to marry to be near somwone was fond of--I could do that anyway,

Africu.

to

Working in the Schweitzer

began to forget the first reason for my going there and became absorbed in the work for its own sake.

teper colony at Lambarene I

Boredom

Then I

At first I was bored.

became terribly lonely. became sccustomed to Jone liness and over the first years 1 live with myself carned to without being bored or lonely.

Now I prefer solitude, also for its own sake. It aggravates me to have people around for no particular reason,

My friends come to see me. They tell their news. I tell mine. When the talidng's over, that's all. I want them to go.

I've reached the stage where

I can't bear even background music. When I go to the

If I married I would be cinema I go to see the film. I giving a lot and getting nothing don't need someone I know to in return. Now I can truthfully come along to sit next to me. any. I don't regret not marrying. In a restaurant I prefer to eat

alone. But I also know myself well enough to realise I am

very

You live through a certain likely to regret it by the time pattern for solitary living and I'm 50. Because I only ever once, you've done it you can't

go back, want things I can't have,

the brigh

who lat

1: BY OLGA DETERDING

Another thing that developed

In

during my neven yours In Africa was an interest for things rather than poople. Africa

found in "community. A cause. I discovered that what I really wanted to do was to give all I have to offer to a lot of people, rather than just

one man,

There was this guarantee for, Eiving happiness to T com- This appeals to me munity. more then the chance on un- happiness you have to take when you marry, ..

I don't want to waste myself,

or my time, I don't want to waste a million sitly, unim portant things either. A man couldn't

understand possibly

with J.

Talking to Sally Vincent

thousands of pounds more. But were they'd bore me and if at least I didn't have to waste they weren't, it would be ter-

a week of my time in a place I ribly std. disliked.

>

Babies, in any case, ure very

I prefer to travel alone, I've dull You wait nine months for been all over the world, invari them. Then you have five years ably alone. 1 find that I can while they squlim around In get the most fantastic insight swaddling clothes and diapers. into pieces the Rart of insight Only after all that boredom K would be impossible to do they show a little personality achieve it had someone with and become interesting. That nie. I prefer to absorb new five years in a bit of a waste atmosphere rather thin be of time. absorbed by a travelling cani-

panion,

A man couldn't take that sort

Confidence

Problems

prediction on marriage

by Anthony Lejeune

Dr Mace was deply i

HE family unit, the their marringe is getting better

foundation of civilian and better every day." tion, the bricks of which pressed by all this but he sage society is made, in doomed, the old pattern is breaking un The authority for this alarm- They are ceasing to believe in

Ane Brahmin saying ng Judgment in Dr David Mreo, that

| International marriage expert Educate a woman and you put and former general secretary of a knife in the hands of a man- the Marriage Guidance Council, kay?"

The break-up of the old type of family life is now inevitable," he rays.

When I met De Mace he had just going back from tours of Russia and the Far East,

OLD IDEAS

of thing. He would probably If only a baby could emerge waste things and annby me, from a cocoon at five years old I'm not concerned about my with his personality blooming.

There are so many children this or be expected to put up money. I have always been rich

so inongy doesn't excite me. In in the world to be taken care fact, I have so much money it's of. I can help there without This is what I'm like.

impersonal. A somehow

The actually possessing a child of In India Dr Mace tried to little, while ago someone sent money's just there. It certainly my own

convince a group of girls that it It's a sad thing, but I've would be nice if they could me some noses. The day they doesn't bother me.

always discovered arrived I had planned to leave

that the choose their own marriage part down to the my hotel and go

more interesting a pervan is ners, But the girls didn't like country. But I couldn't bear

the more problems he has. If the idea. o leave the dowers while they window shopping

I have never rushed around

I married would, naturally, For one thing.” they suld, "it for utile marry an interesting man. must put the girl in a So I stayed in things that appeal to me. were fresh. with them.

And the whole arrangement humiliating position. It mantis work out what I'm going to would amount to `n sort of she has to try to look pretty, and This meant I had to keep my need and buy accordingly. I mutual burdening of problems, enfl attention to herself, and for another day and don't want to have masses of So by marrying we shouldn't be attract boy, in order to ot the chauffeur hanging useless clothes that are never having or sharing our probe married.

But I enjoyed the

worn hanging up in wardrobes, lems, we'd doubling them for

ench other.

suite on have about, flowers.

Impatient

Then, when I was in hospital, a friend sent me a huge box of, chocolates. I don't like them myself, and i worried all day wondering what to do with them und who would enjoy them most.

I remember, too, being in Beirut, a city t don't like. 1 wanted to leave at once and go to Paris, but it was impos able to get a plane booking. week. They said I had to walt

I

I certainly haven't got Barbara Hutton complex about myself. I have never suspected that men who like me are after my fortune.

No, I have always had every confidence that my friends like me for myself. I have a great many friends, but I must admi I have no une to tell my most private thoughts to. I stopped that years ago.

I have never wanted to have bubies. In Africa I looked after hundreds of children and loved Instead of walling I bought a doing it. Only now I find I'm

interested ticket to Parls that took me only all the way round the world so, childre Naturally I would The want my own children to be Journey took months and cost well integrated, but them if they'

that I could go at pace,

in

problem

Geoffrey Thursby reports

from Buenos Aires

very

"If she feels this is undignified and doesn't push heraf for- ward, she might not got a hu band. Surely that's humiliating of competition in which the girls are dighting each other for the boys."

Tomorrow: It makes zetting married a sort

Flora Robson

COMMUNIST THREAT

of

IN

SOUTH

AMERICA

AMERICA, deeply worried by an all-out attempt by

Cuban dictator Fidel Castro Khrushchev's bearded friend -- to spread hate against the United States in South America, is hitting back.

These Eastern girls regarded

romantic lovo as dangerous and rather disgusting,

..

NEW WAYS

All over the world, De Mace - democracy and

thinks,

dustrialisation

the family unit.

Are destroying

And while the

alaborato Eastern code of matrimony edd concubines erumbles, the West is establishing its own forms ór polygamy with frequent divorces and remarriages and extra- marital laleria.

Such changes, says Dr Mace must be recognised and incor porated into some new social form to replace the old family

unit.

What are wo 19 put in tD! place of the family?

Di Mace thought for a long while. "Comradeship in depth he Anally repiled.

The Communist Chinese, vi course, have a clear-cut answer. They are deliberately trying to destroy family life and loyalites, replacing them with the arling cial "family life" or the come

tunes.

Perhaps they like it that way. Perhaps, as you look RETOSE your breakfast table at your nearest and dearest, you some- times think you too might pre- our fer it that way.

"When marriage begins in the West," cald one of hero, the fire is roaring and the kettle

When boiling. Eastern marriages begin, the fire is low and the kettle cold.

But would you really? Ja

Itle

But og time goes on the fire that the direction in which we burns brighter, the water gets must all inevitably ko? holter, and the coupls feel that worth thinking shout.

I

HAVE just heard America's plan to hold the

United States' position in South America-arid -----

to defeat Russian influence in what is now going to be a cold war fight for Eastern or Western supremacy in South America,

19

For years. South America has to do Russia's work for her in bren Occupied by revolutions South Africa.

Now the Russians are eri-

end civil wars-without the world outalde being greatly in-

terested.

couraging Castro

to trouble-molding all over

go

on the

Now a whole new period of Caribbean and South America. South ·American history to opening up. moving in

The

cold wer

is

Russia is using Castro as the immediate spearhead for, Red Ingitration.

Cuba in South American terms is now be Gubies In Afrien. It might be small, but Russian infuetico

From small things the Russians hope to move to greater ip- Kuence,

America hos now firmly defided that Argentina is where a strong stand can be made for the West in South America.. America believes that the key to halting spreading Russlan In fence in South America is by quring Argentin the eighth biggest country in the world,

Brazil

061.

Argentina, too, is one of the places Castro is working The Russians are aware that a big victory for the West in Argentina will make Russia' hims in South. America much more difficult to achieve.

So the Russians are not coin- Castro's on Plaining when begin to make contact with ex- Distgior Juan. Pears old slip- Argentina, The porters in Pororists mainly poor people

and reckoned to be around she million strong have been trying hard make a comeback for some time,

Last month Peron's number two, Luis Maria Albarcate la exlied from Argentina, but there was nothing to stop has coming from Spain where he lives with exiled Peron a ta Uruguay. And thene la nothing to stop his supporters trom Argentina meeting him there.

Neither is there anything 'to Brazil to the north of stop Castro's men getting inte Argentina, is a bigger country,

the art. They are now making bu America has decided to contact with the old Peron non modo astond in Argentina and promising support. 30 the because the country has more Foronists try to make a come-

indupindal potential. back.

Argentina has a labour force of at Jeast six million, and A growing middle class.

Unut how America ancouraged; private American frycatment in ¦ Aigontien

to

develop the country's Industry- as if slowly the AmerionS WIT recognising that a cold

WEE

Haw

Herdway

successful "are the Rumians likely to be-in their

CLA war move In Boùth America?-

Certainly in the Beginerig

battle lay ahead. Now with the they are lily to make Headway

pressure “suddenly on, I under-

but, when South Americans na

stand the American government like Arkle, and manT. ALRE

prepared to, advance up

£100 million to Aspantine in real motives, the going

the

qulok muc

next year for development. The theory bd-

מאן

Will

with, South Ameri

hind this is that quick develop cah poverty will work in the ment in Argentina wistall Runciatus favour and there is Reit influence,

certainly poverty in

America believes that pre- America,

+lded Argentina o be the cold fight may be waged,

Argenuna, where the th

keeping the regi of Benth.

Anserica on the side of the flashare of poor,

· freal, will be easier.

To Musirala;

belleve it will be much har

. the

der then the Amerienda thirika, berbunyÍS PARI

For rezow the Communista

Have beach working hard: In

Banh America. They bellevo now that they, are ready to bes kla á break-ilwoun

CAstro

éhones. Point of