Page G
THE CHINA MAIL, MONDAY, OCTOBER 14, 1960.
WHY I NEVER MARRIED Curious
Never
has it been
easier to find
a husband..
And yet
never have
there been so
many spinsters
BEGINNING THE PERSONAL PHILOSOPHIES OF SOME OF THE GREAT UNATTACHED
Never before have there
been so
many unmarried
And
before have
women in England.
yet
never
marriage prospects been so high.
For the first time for as
long as you care to look
back there is a surplus of
eligible men.
I'VE
me more
Olga Dotording portrait by William Lovelace.
There was, inevitably, one 'VE stayed single be-
Не man I did want to marry. cause nothing mad- thought I was a pretty useless didn't want to dens
than person and
marry me. it was to prove waste. And I don't want him that I could perform a
ful service to the community more to chance wasting my and do without nightclube and women are choosing to self. When a girl is old high living that I went stay single. Now, certainly enough to marry,
But more
and
she
finds herself in a certain social frame of mind.
as never before, there is such a depth of emanci-
Maybe she's lonely, or she's she just pation that normal, been hurt. Maybe
A
wants to get away from her happy, healthy woman parents, or step up her social
pushion, or achieve security. can throw convention in.
the
face of supreme opportunity and deny her sacred right to be a wife and mother.
Hers is a special and un- proved freedom elected at the expense of irretriev- able loss. She will be lone ly, resigned, frustrated, content, and utterly in- trovert. She will be a force
to contend with. A woman infinitely worth knowing.
Anyhow, she's susceptible to mariage because she wants to gel something put of it for her self. When a man comes along whom she recognises as "her type" she marries him.
My regret
Well, I used to think there was nothing I could get out of marriage that I haven't already gol. I have everything, and stand to lose in the long run. I didn't have to marry to be near somwone was fond of--I could do that anyway,
Africu.
to
Working in the Schweitzer
began to forget the first reason for my going there and became absorbed in the work for its own sake.
teper colony at Lambarene I
Boredom
Then I
At first I was bored.
became terribly lonely. became sccustomed to Jone liness and over the first years 1 live with myself carned to without being bored or lonely.
Now I prefer solitude, also for its own sake. It aggravates me to have people around for no particular reason,
My friends come to see me. They tell their news. I tell mine. When the talidng's over, that's all. I want them to go.
I've reached the stage where
I can't bear even background music. When I go to the
If I married I would be cinema I go to see the film. I giving a lot and getting nothing don't need someone I know to in return. Now I can truthfully come along to sit next to me. any. I don't regret not marrying. In a restaurant I prefer to eat
alone. But I also know myself well enough to realise I am
very
You live through a certain likely to regret it by the time pattern for solitary living and I'm 50. Because I only ever once, you've done it you can't
go back, want things I can't have,
the brigh
who lat
1: BY OLGA DETERDING
Another thing that developed
In
during my neven yours In Africa was an interest for things rather than poople. Africa
found in "community. A cause. I discovered that what I really wanted to do was to give all I have to offer to a lot of people, rather than just
one man,
There was this guarantee for, Eiving happiness to T com- This appeals to me munity. more then the chance on un- happiness you have to take when you marry, ..
I don't want to waste myself,
or my time, I don't want to waste a million sitly, unim portant things either. A man couldn't
understand possibly
with J.
Talking to Sally Vincent
thousands of pounds more. But were they'd bore me and if at least I didn't have to waste they weren't, it would be ter-
a week of my time in a place I ribly std. disliked.
>
Babies, in any case, ure very
I prefer to travel alone, I've dull You wait nine months for been all over the world, invari them. Then you have five years ably alone. 1 find that I can while they squlim around In get the most fantastic insight swaddling clothes and diapers. into pieces the Rart of insight Only after all that boredom K would be impossible to do they show a little personality achieve it had someone with and become interesting. That nie. I prefer to absorb new five years in a bit of a waste atmosphere rather thin be of time. absorbed by a travelling cani-
panion,
A man couldn't take that sort
Confidence
Problems
prediction on marriage
by Anthony Lejeune
Dr Mace was deply i
HE family unit, the their marringe is getting better
foundation of civilian and better every day." tion, the bricks of which pressed by all this but he sage society is made, in doomed, the old pattern is breaking un The authority for this alarm- They are ceasing to believe in
Ane Brahmin saying ng Judgment in Dr David Mreo, that
| International marriage expert Educate a woman and you put and former general secretary of a knife in the hands of a man- the Marriage Guidance Council, kay?"
The break-up of the old type of family life is now inevitable," he rays.
When I met De Mace he had just going back from tours of Russia and the Far East,
OLD IDEAS
of thing. He would probably If only a baby could emerge waste things and annby me, from a cocoon at five years old I'm not concerned about my with his personality blooming.
There are so many children this or be expected to put up money. I have always been rich
so inongy doesn't excite me. In in the world to be taken care fact, I have so much money it's of. I can help there without This is what I'm like.
impersonal. A somehow
The actually possessing a child of In India Dr Mace tried to little, while ago someone sent money's just there. It certainly my own
convince a group of girls that it It's a sad thing, but I've would be nice if they could me some noses. The day they doesn't bother me.
always discovered arrived I had planned to leave
that the choose their own marriage part down to the my hotel and go
more interesting a pervan is ners, But the girls didn't like country. But I couldn't bear
the more problems he has. If the idea. o leave the dowers while they window shopping
I have never rushed around
I married would, naturally, For one thing.” they suld, "it for utile marry an interesting man. must put the girl in a So I stayed in things that appeal to me. were fresh. with them.
And the whole arrangement humiliating position. It mantis work out what I'm going to would amount to `n sort of she has to try to look pretty, and This meant I had to keep my need and buy accordingly. I mutual burdening of problems, enfl attention to herself, and for another day and don't want to have masses of So by marrying we shouldn't be attract boy, in order to ot the chauffeur hanging useless clothes that are never having or sharing our probe married.
But I enjoyed the
worn hanging up in wardrobes, lems, we'd doubling them for
ench other.
suite on have about, flowers.
Impatient
Then, when I was in hospital, a friend sent me a huge box of, chocolates. I don't like them myself, and i worried all day wondering what to do with them und who would enjoy them most.
I remember, too, being in Beirut, a city t don't like. 1 wanted to leave at once and go to Paris, but it was impos able to get a plane booking. week. They said I had to walt
I
I certainly haven't got Barbara Hutton complex about myself. I have never suspected that men who like me are after my fortune.
No, I have always had every confidence that my friends like me for myself. I have a great many friends, but I must admi I have no une to tell my most private thoughts to. I stopped that years ago.
I have never wanted to have bubies. In Africa I looked after hundreds of children and loved Instead of walling I bought a doing it. Only now I find I'm
interested ticket to Parls that took me only all the way round the world so, childre Naturally I would The want my own children to be Journey took months and cost well integrated, but them if they'
that I could go at pace,
in
problem
Geoffrey Thursby reports
from Buenos Aires
very
"If she feels this is undignified and doesn't push heraf for- ward, she might not got a hu band. Surely that's humiliating of competition in which the girls are dighting each other for the boys."
Tomorrow: It makes zetting married a sort
Flora Robson
COMMUNIST THREAT
of
IN
SOUTH
AMERICA
AMERICA, deeply worried by an all-out attempt by
Cuban dictator Fidel Castro Khrushchev's bearded friend -- to spread hate against the United States in South America, is hitting back.
These Eastern girls regarded
romantic lovo as dangerous and rather disgusting,
..
NEW WAYS
All over the world, De Mace - democracy and
thinks,
dustrialisation
the family unit.
Are destroying
And while the
alaborato Eastern code of matrimony edd concubines erumbles, the West is establishing its own forms ór polygamy with frequent divorces and remarriages and extra- marital laleria.
Such changes, says Dr Mace must be recognised and incor porated into some new social form to replace the old family
unit.
What are wo 19 put in tD! place of the family?
Di Mace thought for a long while. "Comradeship in depth he Anally repiled.
The Communist Chinese, vi course, have a clear-cut answer. They are deliberately trying to destroy family life and loyalites, replacing them with the arling cial "family life" or the come
tunes.
Perhaps they like it that way. Perhaps, as you look RETOSE your breakfast table at your nearest and dearest, you some- times think you too might pre- our fer it that way.
"When marriage begins in the West," cald one of hero, the fire is roaring and the kettle
When boiling. Eastern marriages begin, the fire is low and the kettle cold.
But would you really? Ja
Itle
But og time goes on the fire that the direction in which we burns brighter, the water gets must all inevitably ko? holter, and the coupls feel that worth thinking shout.
I
HAVE just heard America's plan to hold the
United States' position in South America-arid -----
to defeat Russian influence in what is now going to be a cold war fight for Eastern or Western supremacy in South America,
19
For years. South America has to do Russia's work for her in bren Occupied by revolutions South Africa.
Now the Russians are eri-
end civil wars-without the world outalde being greatly in-
terested.
couraging Castro
to trouble-molding all over
go
on the
Now a whole new period of Caribbean and South America. South ·American history to opening up. moving in
The
cold wer
is
Russia is using Castro as the immediate spearhead for, Red Ingitration.
Cuba in South American terms is now be Gubies In Afrien. It might be small, but Russian infuetico
From small things the Russians hope to move to greater ip- Kuence,
America hos now firmly defided that Argentina is where a strong stand can be made for the West in South America.. America believes that the key to halting spreading Russlan In fence in South America is by quring Argentin the eighth biggest country in the world,
Brazil
061.
Argentina, too, is one of the places Castro is working The Russians are aware that a big victory for the West in Argentina will make Russia' hims in South. America much more difficult to achieve.
So the Russians are not coin- Castro's on Plaining when begin to make contact with ex- Distgior Juan. Pears old slip- Argentina, The porters in Pororists mainly poor people
and reckoned to be around she million strong have been trying hard make a comeback for some time,
Last month Peron's number two, Luis Maria Albarcate la exlied from Argentina, but there was nothing to stop has coming from Spain where he lives with exiled Peron a ta Uruguay. And thene la nothing to stop his supporters trom Argentina meeting him there.
Neither is there anything 'to Brazil to the north of stop Castro's men getting inte Argentina, is a bigger country,
the art. They are now making bu America has decided to contact with the old Peron non modo astond in Argentina and promising support. 30 the because the country has more Foronists try to make a come-
indupindal potential. back.
Argentina has a labour force of at Jeast six million, and A growing middle class.
Unut how America ancouraged; private American frycatment in ¦ Aigontien
to
develop the country's Industry- as if slowly the AmerionS WIT recognising that a cold
WEE
Haw
Herdway
successful "are the Rumians likely to be-in their
CLA war move In Boùth America?-
Certainly in the Beginerig
battle lay ahead. Now with the they are lily to make Headway
pressure “suddenly on, I under-
but, when South Americans na
stand the American government like Arkle, and manT. ALRE
prepared to, advance up
£100 million to Aspantine in real motives, the going
the
qulok muc
next year for development. The theory bd-
מאן
Will
with, South Ameri
hind this is that quick develop cah poverty will work in the ment in Argentina wistall Runciatus favour and there is Reit influence,
certainly poverty in
America believes that pre- America,
+lded Argentina o be the cold fight may be waged,
Argenuna, where the th
keeping the regi of Benth.
Anserica on the side of the flashare of poor,
· freal, will be easier.
To Musirala;
belleve it will be much har
. the
der then the Amerienda thirika, berbunyÍS PARI
For rezow the Communista
Have beach working hard: In
Banh America. They bellevo now that they, are ready to bes kla á break-ilwoun
CAstro
éhones. Point of