1956-05-12 — Page 6

* THE CHINA MAIL,

SATURDAY, MAY 12, 1956.

| |

From A Modest Another 'inside' story from DEADLINE & DATELINE by RENE MacCOLL

C

Letter To A National Cult

U

near

⭑

By YORKE HENDERSON

"Non-

cuit London herself comnes. But the TNTIL recently "U" was grows, Miss Mitford writes

book about it and I can only Just a modest, ruther

Osbert with agree

cartoonist pleasant looking letter Lanenter who Aumned up the

the and of the renclion of all stubborn Authors BRICHTE

"In his cartoon on this page. alphabet. Then Nancy Mitford ("Love in a Cold Climate," "The Pur- suit of Love") got to work Now it is the most on it. used, abused, talked-about

ketiler laughed - over Britain.

what

AFTER the foregoing,

follows may be difficult to credit. But did you know that Bettish are the world's most intelligent cople?

in

the The pinlon is that of Chinese Nationalist students of Chih Uni- the National Cheng

are

vocabulary In Miss Milford's

And "U" means upper-class speech, manners and behaviour

"U" are classed by her "Non-U." Now, the signs that Miss Mitford's dissertationis on what is "U" and what is not ure very much tongue-in-check

In any coun-

try

other than England it'e doubtful even that the U-cult would sattracted

notice,

far less

made un im- premilon.

In England

23112

hos ought l alarmingly. Cartoonists

have lampoon- ed it, column- dsts have nt- 1ucked

it

comedians have found £1 fruitful

แ

BOUNCT

of jokes, and o large slice of the general pubic Lybe- coming U-con-

The signi- fcont fuel however, is that the U-cult Is becoming some- thing

morc

They were versity of Foricosa sounded on the humanity" rating of the people they share Cher world with by n certain Dr Carlton Cuimser, of Utah State College.

They rather took the Bilme however, off the compliment,

hy rating the British us the world's ITUNE

POCKET CARTOON

by OSBERT LANCASTER

"Oh, to hell with Nuncy Muford! What I always say it's MB '. UI"

It has struck a than a joke.

down sympathetic chord deep

Inside the English soul. For de.

inronds Increasing their traditional insularity,

spite

English

urc still

dormlists.

(11

the

Gl

heart

gittle give us as others see CHANGE:

conceited people as well

As u long- term resident of these nor- Litern sits, 1 level thak the Formossen gill- dents might have been nearer the mark had they des- cribed the ri Wish

4.5

the

most Puson

abie people.

Britons,

know,

have preferred

that distinction.

CHAPTER TWO

THE COOLEST OPERATOR KNOW...

I

THE DICTATOR WHO CLAWED HIS WAY TO THE TOP, BUT KEPT HIS DIGNITY.......THAT'S TITO

Roving Reporter RENE MacCOLL (left) Interviews TITO... Forceful and fascinating

LIFE

WITH

ALLEN

BIG

was such a

"T

HEY" often sak me whom 1 con-

GAME

-By-

GERALD ALLEN

sider to be the most impressive man or woman that I have ever interviewed.

Amy TITO

of

Comm-

are

VITO is a cold operator. You notice the high click-bones and the light-coloured eyes. He

wog

On the eve of my return visit Krushchev elreus I wrote in the to Yugoslavia to cover tho Daily Express "Tito is the Com- munkt head munist State. He is primarily I have interviewed hundreds of people in

Interested in furthering the many parts of the world, from Marilyn Interests of the Communist

results Whatever Monroe to Mrs Pandit; Menzies of Aus State.

tralia to Zoa ZAB

achieved in Belgrade will reflect Gubor;

Just that.' Anthony Eden to sculpting Epstein; Adlai Stevenson to the wife of the King of Albania the late Johnson to Stanley Laurel; the late Al Capone I always вестов to be richly evangelist Sister Muc- tanned, winter and summer. He in a shoulder Pherson; Sam Goldwyn to carries

holster. He has an odd knack of P. G. Wodehouse..........

hooding his eyes so that he moy Surveying the straggling field, appear to be usleep, when in I shall reply that among the six point of fact he is very much most impressive persons that I w

awake. I particularly notlood have ever interviewed profes- this while Krushchev sionally is Tito of Yugoslavia.

making his first crawling apology for

out st the past insults, Belgrade airport a few minutes after the Russians had come AN inmense force of character shambling out of their planes.

Tito stood there, a cigarette in "Oh, well, if you're so cer-

is radiated by Tito. He has

long holder in his hand, his tain about it," answered Lucas.natural dignity, but can unbend "But it's odd that I should have in seemly fashion on occasion,

head slightly on one side, listen.

impassivity seven the same thing in the very le has come a long way-a long, ing with utter

"It was-all Sul, hard way to become boss of Krushchev's town you mentioned.

it's on everyday oc- his rough, toush nation of 17 mistake-let's-bo-friends" plea

In 1003 he visited As I wrote at the time, Krush- currence, there,"

a Britain; he was received as an chey did

except fry everything to honoured guest by the Quees, to kiss Tite, Tile stayed poker-

and the Lord Mayor of London.

Impossible to tell what fnood,

thinking

The hoods We had a bare four minutes He was then the respected head he was

his eyes.

The left in which to get the next of a friendly

eyes could tell you nothing. himself

with dignity and

14 years the point?" tras, and we left the raconteur hims

As y villa before. In

him at his com- visit pint busy with

of bitter, but. Just

1038 when the Queen's father, cried Gunter, going a bit supy About a superior type cor- George VI, and mother, Elizabeth impassively day know- "believe you're pulling

closely leg" commented Gunter in

good story, is a puzzled way "Well, years later, said Lucas, "I can vouch for the rider affair, and we struck lucky the Queen Mother, had paid a He has a goodish working this hunter chap was a bit down truth of too. It happened the this time. on his luck, and happened ·

very day was at the

Buf just as wo were + notice that there was a circus myself. Saw it happen. I'd clean performance in the town m forgotten it, till now. because started, and lolling at our case, there were so many other won the figure of doom appeared in derful things going on that one hardly noticed the normal little Now, there was 4 incidents. weightlifting hedgehog shall never forget-"

UCAS and I had just thing that he let it go again."

jolly listic "Hair's beginning to recede a b. old man, but you've got missed 11 train and "Most unwise of him." I suid more on the top then I have.

whiling were

away sharply. "An uncle of mine once Know a good hair restorer?

he Well, go would half-an-hour in the buffel, threw buck a tadpole, and

un with the story. it's Gunter, we're keenly interested.) when Gunter came in. The now has reason to belleve

Inlo the Loch Ness This Is the grown

bricky bit" great bore of the River H

At any rate, cach year chuckled the old idiot. monster.

The Severn is just 2

small he receives a mysterious post elephant recognised the man at

the same time, and picked him brother of Gunter's, and we card on his birthday. The card of dish, is post- smells strongly

trunk up in its

and put him tried hard to look like two marked Inverness, and is add down in the front row." other chaps. But he spotted ressed in phosphorescent inic." "Didn't the management

Gunter "Why?" asked knew we were

in- jest?" I asked A and we

cautiously. for it

"To help the postal sorters--- he the card Just catches the night

mall."

As to whether ort they are

concelled well, as Rober! Burns

sald

Puine the

Would _power_no" To se vurselves

UB"

"Hullo, you blokes," cried. "Just heard a deuced changing funny story. You know an Britain elephant is supposed never advertise-to forget? Well, a big game

had hunter

caught an motoring elephant in a trap-------**

QIGNIFICANT

social

uf

In Values full page which

appeared British

In

the

was ment GOYETE

wall-innown cust

15

FRIKAZLIK".

must tire Possibly stricture 1271 Englishman pass on anything is that it

Not that as "not good form. essentially good or bad. Simply that it là bad "form." Or i 19 "just not done."

And to

discover what Is "form" and what is "done" the Englishman looks to the social his class immediately ahead of own. Since the U-cuil purporte to tell him what U-people re- gard as "form", you can uppre- clate the social impact of th Dow rather wearisome joke.

EVERYTHING

and

my

4

to

"What sort of a trap?" asked which he happened to be at the

"An elephant trap, i supe, I wouldn't be much good using

thing smaller " "They dig a big pit and cover

with branches- began.

it

ever

world-famous Lucas. engineering Arm, Rolls-Royce, asked for applications for up- they prenticesh stipulated that the buys they sight should come from public schools or grammar schools.

Now, in the past the public schools-which are anything but what their tume suggests...

alnost exclusively turned out recruits for

the ex- (forgive pression) the U-professions, 1,0.. the Army, Navy, Foreign Ser-Lucas. vice. Church (of England, ol Course). and the Bur.

A Englishman learned from the of the social state,

1

"And then tether an elephant of the opposite

sex cut in

"Sex again," I murmured re-

The way this chap

ND what has Mr Average grammar schools, slightly lower turned out and civil

high-priests of "U" Primarily white cellar workers that almost everything he does servants, And says is "Non-U. When he Apprentices were the pro- Luchs. talks of his Berviette OF his duct of focal council schools. "I don't really

home, tris cycle or his money or says "pleased to meet you" to a stranger, he is being very “Non-4)." (U-terms are napkin, house, bike, never eny mention do?" of money, and "how do you

the last requiring no answer). "Non-U" people pour milk into a cup before they pour the ken, and they take sugar in their coffee.

All excessively trivial and doubtless a satire by Miss Mit ford on the social birthmarks of the upper-class from which she

"work-

time.'

"What town was that?"

"It's nothing to do with the story what town it was, but if you insist, let's say it was Saffron Walden.”

"What an emazing coin- cidence!" said Lucas.

"The finest circus I ever saw was at

There Saffron Walden.

were tigers on tightropes. and mon- keys on bicycles shot from guns, and performing

dogs riding side- saddle on ponies. Would it be the same show, d'you think?"

"This chap took a ticket-just a cheap one, because he hard up."

was

to

"He wasn't in a position throw money away ke that, however cheap the seat," I said

caught an elephant, quite a young one," Gunter continued doggedly.

"African or Indian?" asked

see it makes severely. humble homes and the

any difference,"

"He was fond of circuses," ing class."

"An old one of one breed went on Günter, speaking very Socially acceptable white-might quite easily be mistaken carefully and quietly. I think collar Joba were taken by the for a young one of the other, he was fighting for self-control. public and grommar school boys and then the whole story fails "He was well at the back, but often at A financial sacridee. to the ground."

enjoying the show when, all of Toil-stained hands would have "Look," Gold Gunter,

with a sudden, he noticed huge marked them as social pariahs.

surprising patience, "this chap performing elephant watching But as Britain awakens to the CRU vital need for more

a young elephant. Is that him with great interest," con- and more

Linued Guntor. technologists. the recruits

We nodded gravely, and the

"Here it comes," whispered such jobs are being accorded a story-teller proceeded, his Lucas. "Fell out of my cradle completely

and new,

higher. paunch already aquiver at the laughing at this one." sucial status.

thought of the shriekingly funny ending to his tale.

Sic transit.

10

To get you there safe, fresh and on time

get behind

the Flying "A" of the Austin A90 Westminster Blz. There is something about an Austin

Solo Agente:

You can depend on it

· METRO CARS (H.K.) LTD.

131 KING'S ROÁD.

HONGKONG

- TRIM 71811

123 TAIPO ROAD

ZON KOWLOON

"What's that?" backed Gunter suspiciously.

"Sald I can't wait to hear the end of this one," answered my friend blandly.

"He recognised the animal as

the one he'd released all those

years ago knew it because had oddly notched ears."

it

"Don't

Rather.

You sce

Very

سران

circus

couldn't have seen it,” "You

"It's just snapped Gunter. story never really happened. I told you for the joke of it."

suppose

"Very amusing;

drink, Lucas

deserves I sald, signalling

the doorway.

Д

milkins.

"state" com wore down over

monplace he listens

been quite din oris, things, had ledge of English but he follows

state visit to

nicely

"Just thought of another little tale that might amuse you," suld throt I

Gumber.

(COPYшGUT)

THESE PROPHETS CRY DOOM

CARCELY

By STANFORD TATE

without some "Doomsday

year passes

Schemotaces an impending calamity for our

earth.

A recent prediction is that the world will come to an end in June this year, when a planet--at present heading this way--crashes into it.

of

The pre-royal

Tvisit

80

the time-honoured resort of having it translated to him chock" by

In Ita the French in 1939 was drastic that he can have a little more Blue time to ponder his answer with- thoroughness.

went prowling out perceptibly holding things chinned "fles"

end by-ways and up. the streets blocks of flats in Paris on the

I found him fascinating, this lookout for undesirables. Josip man who has clawed his way to Broz then

all

Soviet

young on the run, was une the top of the pile.

to the Compared undesirable. Ho heard about the readers the clowning, tipsy activities of the police, and de- Kruhchov; the beaming-uncle cided to got out wille the go- figure of Bulganin; the Ameri ing was good, false passports can carpet-salesman aspect of Anastas Mikoyan, and the rest Fourteen years later and he of them--Tito during the May was bowed to Buckingham visit, was a figure of tremendous Palace.

authority and cold, faultless Tito fought hard and doggedly dignity," through the harsh warfare of Ho

have come may

from ambush and ruse, night attack nothing but he looks and Like Somebody these

and purachute drop, among the

groat mountains of Yugoslavia days.

In the last war.

He

cmbraced Communism, went to Moscow, knew Stalin.

He broke with Moscow, defied THE final scenes at the tare- Stalin, was called a "ridiculous 1 well party which host Tite dwarf" and much else by Radio gave for his guests cannot often. Moscow for his pains.

have been paralleled in Britain and America noting annals of

diplomatic

the

polite

One might think that in this age of science, predic. tions of imminent catastrophe would not be taken so seriously, yet with each "prophecy" 4 new егор disciples preparcs for the worst,

It is only a few years ago that the 20,000 inhabitants of the break with Moscow started society. Dinkelsbuchi, Germany, suddenly began praying in the streets, to smile approvingly. Tite play-knowns, Krushchev got well and The rumour had spread that the planet Saturn had broken out of ing his cards admirably, began truly plastered. His capacity for its orbit and was plunging towards the earth. According to some to pick up a little loose change, vodka has never been in ques

in the shape of economic and tion but that evening he had roports it was heading straight for Dinkelsbucht

Germany, military afd, from the West.

It was not only before the story spread through and hundreds of thousands of people became panic-stricken. It took the best efforts the authorities to calm the people and restore order.

FRIGHTENED PEOPLE

Bold

been

As all the world now

bustly knocking back vodka with silvovitz chasers. The result was sensational and the wonder was that the little

Tito, although Communist, He stood awaying at the top was " "different" Communist of the stairs, reluctant, as are

UST when it seemed that man was still on his feet, JUST

In Pasadena, California, groups of frightened people their possessions, paid their debris, and generally made peace with the exe changed completely. It many drunks, to add the beaut their neighbours when Reverend Charles G. Long told the world started if I had known it, ful party and go home, Mikoyan while I was silting talking to and Bulganin kept plucking at that our planet was shortly going to end in one gigantic explosion him in hts modest home in his sleeve and bagging him to

During the last few days before the appointed hour of doon,

Weather preparations.

institutions scientific

of

Tecent

long

tunie,

wearing a

In Moscow, Stalin ng all fly. Tito stood watch-

was not announced

"Did I ever tell you?" I ask- the pante spread farther afield and thousands of people all over March 1953. In dos subst in come

this with a gloriously United States began making final ed, that I was once engaged to

dying of a stroke although sardonic expression. lay wero the event girl with notched ears? Great stations, planetariums and leading

Finally two vast M.V.D. big strapping girl she WDS

swamped with inquiries asking when the end was coming.

until some time later. Stalin's goons were summoned, lifted hockey International Her great, Perhaps the most colourful "Doomsday prophet"

times was the ane, John Mikkelsen. In 1943 he appeared in death started the train of events Krushchey under the elbows, great-great-grandfather had

to the landing

great Russian the streets of Copenhagen dressed in a

and carried him bodily down- been killed at Bannockburn, and

and announced that about-face of the spring of May stairs his short legs just clear every time she scored a goal

1055 when Bulgania and of the ground. he was the reincarnation of the prophet Daniel. against Scotland she cut

went to Belgrade Krushchev

to- an-

Tito, over the perfect host, other notch in her ears. Un- Ho prophesied that the world was shortly due to perish by Krusho

fust of their bowed a courtly farwell as they when fortunately, one evening

but a groat flood, far greater than the Biblical deluge, and that only other

effective foreign all disappeared into the night. we were exchanging artless little

After making this fearfulood-will tours, ha and his followers would survive. announcement ho confidences, as lovers will, I let

and his disciples started to build arks.

Since then Tito has been

(COPYRIGHT) out the fact that I'd a childhood

There are many in Europe who still have vivid memories of

ends against the sweetheart called Melisande Padre Encsbio, a Spanish- monk, who, in 1805, plunged hair the playing both MacTavish. That terminated the Continent into panic when he announced that the world would middle with engagement. I was struck down come to an end on September 25 that year. The confusion was body is quite sure how far be back into tho by a hockey stick and left for so great that scores of newspapers published appeals to the public has swayed

Russian camp; what his future dead. You can still see the mark to keep calm.

intentions are towards Moscow. on my forehead."

MANDRAKE THE MAGICIAN

THE CRASSHOPPER LEAPS AWAY,

THE MANTIS AFTER HIM ——

THAT WAS THE GRASSHOPPER

WE WERE SEARCHING

FOR

(COPYRIGHT)

HE HELPED US.AT LEAST- BY DRAWING THE MANTIS

AWAY!

LET'S STAY INSIDE --BEFORE ANY-

THING ELSE

APPEARS!

on the

a vengeance. No-

By Leo Falk and Phil Davis

EATING ITS

AT

A CARPENTER ANT-

LEAST

WE BE

SAFE IN

HERE

WAY IN--

Watch out for more MacColl memories next Saturday

TALK

ABOUT

MAGIC!

Have you seen

Admiral

AIR CONDITIONE BRAND REFRIG