* THE CHINA MAIL,
SATURDAY, MAY 12, 1956.
| |
From A Modest Another 'inside' story from DEADLINE & DATELINE by RENE MacCOLL
C
Letter To A National Cult
U
near
⭑
By YORKE HENDERSON
"Non-
cuit London herself comnes. But the TNTIL recently "U" was grows, Miss Mitford writes
book about it and I can only Just a modest, ruther
Osbert with agree
cartoonist pleasant looking letter Lanenter who Aumned up the
the and of the renclion of all stubborn Authors BRICHTE
"In his cartoon on this page. alphabet. Then Nancy Mitford ("Love in a Cold Climate," "The Pur- suit of Love") got to work Now it is the most on it. used, abused, talked-about
ketiler laughed - over Britain.
what
AFTER the foregoing,
follows may be difficult to credit. But did you know that Bettish are the world's most intelligent cople?
in
the The pinlon is that of Chinese Nationalist students of Chih Uni- the National Cheng
are
vocabulary In Miss Milford's
And "U" means upper-class speech, manners and behaviour
"U" are classed by her "Non-U." Now, the signs that Miss Mitford's dissertationis on what is "U" and what is not ure very much tongue-in-check
In any coun-
try
other than England it'e doubtful even that the U-cult would sattracted
notice,
far less
made un im- premilon.
In England
23112
hos ought l alarmingly. Cartoonists
have lampoon- ed it, column- dsts have nt- 1ucked
it
comedians have found £1 fruitful
แ
BOUNCT
of jokes, and o large slice of the general pubic Lybe- coming U-con-
The signi- fcont fuel however, is that the U-cult Is becoming some- thing
morc
They were versity of Foricosa sounded on the humanity" rating of the people they share Cher world with by n certain Dr Carlton Cuimser, of Utah State College.
They rather took the Bilme however, off the compliment,
hy rating the British us the world's ITUNE
POCKET CARTOON
by OSBERT LANCASTER
"Oh, to hell with Nuncy Muford! What I always say it's MB '. UI"
It has struck a than a joke.
down sympathetic chord deep
Inside the English soul. For de.
inronds Increasing their traditional insularity,
spite
English
urc still
dormlists.
(11
the
Gl
heart
gittle give us as others see CHANGE:
conceited people as well
As u long- term resident of these nor- Litern sits, 1 level thak the Formossen gill- dents might have been nearer the mark had they des- cribed the ri Wish
4.5
the
most Puson
abie people.
Britons,
know,
have preferred
that distinction.
CHAPTER TWO
THE COOLEST OPERATOR KNOW...
I
THE DICTATOR WHO CLAWED HIS WAY TO THE TOP, BUT KEPT HIS DIGNITY.......THAT'S TITO
Roving Reporter RENE MacCOLL (left) Interviews TITO... Forceful and fascinating
LIFE
WITH
ALLEN
BIG
was such a
"T
HEY" often sak me whom 1 con-
GAME
-By-
GERALD ALLEN
sider to be the most impressive man or woman that I have ever interviewed.
Amy TITO
of
Comm-
are
VITO is a cold operator. You notice the high click-bones and the light-coloured eyes. He
wog
On the eve of my return visit Krushchev elreus I wrote in the to Yugoslavia to cover tho Daily Express "Tito is the Com- munkt head munist State. He is primarily I have interviewed hundreds of people in
Interested in furthering the many parts of the world, from Marilyn Interests of the Communist
results Whatever Monroe to Mrs Pandit; Menzies of Aus State.
tralia to Zoa ZAB
achieved in Belgrade will reflect Gubor;
Just that.' Anthony Eden to sculpting Epstein; Adlai Stevenson to the wife of the King of Albania the late Johnson to Stanley Laurel; the late Al Capone I always вестов to be richly evangelist Sister Muc- tanned, winter and summer. He in a shoulder Pherson; Sam Goldwyn to carries
holster. He has an odd knack of P. G. Wodehouse..........
hooding his eyes so that he moy Surveying the straggling field, appear to be usleep, when in I shall reply that among the six point of fact he is very much most impressive persons that I w
awake. I particularly notlood have ever interviewed profes- this while Krushchev sionally is Tito of Yugoslavia.
making his first crawling apology for
out st the past insults, Belgrade airport a few minutes after the Russians had come AN inmense force of character shambling out of their planes.
Tito stood there, a cigarette in "Oh, well, if you're so cer-
is radiated by Tito. He has
long holder in his hand, his tain about it," answered Lucas.natural dignity, but can unbend "But it's odd that I should have in seemly fashion on occasion,
head slightly on one side, listen.
impassivity seven the same thing in the very le has come a long way-a long, ing with utter
"It was-all Sul, hard way to become boss of Krushchev's town you mentioned.
it's on everyday oc- his rough, toush nation of 17 mistake-let's-bo-friends" plea
In 1003 he visited As I wrote at the time, Krush- currence, there,"
a Britain; he was received as an chey did
except fry everything to honoured guest by the Quees, to kiss Tite, Tile stayed poker-
and the Lord Mayor of London.
Impossible to tell what fnood,
thinking
The hoods We had a bare four minutes He was then the respected head he was
his eyes.
The left in which to get the next of a friendly
eyes could tell you nothing. himself
with dignity and
14 years the point?" tras, and we left the raconteur hims
As y villa before. In
him at his com- visit pint busy with
of bitter, but. Just
1038 when the Queen's father, cried Gunter, going a bit supy About a superior type cor- George VI, and mother, Elizabeth impassively day know- "believe you're pulling
closely leg" commented Gunter in
good story, is a puzzled way "Well, years later, said Lucas, "I can vouch for the rider affair, and we struck lucky the Queen Mother, had paid a He has a goodish working this hunter chap was a bit down truth of too. It happened the this time. on his luck, and happened ·
very day was at the
Buf just as wo were + notice that there was a circus myself. Saw it happen. I'd clean performance in the town m forgotten it, till now. because started, and lolling at our case, there were so many other won the figure of doom appeared in derful things going on that one hardly noticed the normal little Now, there was 4 incidents. weightlifting hedgehog shall never forget-"
UCAS and I had just thing that he let it go again."
jolly listic "Hair's beginning to recede a b. old man, but you've got missed 11 train and "Most unwise of him." I suid more on the top then I have.
whiling were
away sharply. "An uncle of mine once Know a good hair restorer?
he Well, go would half-an-hour in the buffel, threw buck a tadpole, and
un with the story. it's Gunter, we're keenly interested.) when Gunter came in. The now has reason to belleve
Inlo the Loch Ness This Is the grown
bricky bit" great bore of the River H
At any rate, cach year chuckled the old idiot. monster.
The Severn is just 2
small he receives a mysterious post elephant recognised the man at
the same time, and picked him brother of Gunter's, and we card on his birthday. The card of dish, is post- smells strongly
trunk up in its
and put him tried hard to look like two marked Inverness, and is add down in the front row." other chaps. But he spotted ressed in phosphorescent inic." "Didn't the management
Gunter "Why?" asked knew we were
in- jest?" I asked A and we
cautiously. for it
"To help the postal sorters--- he the card Just catches the night
mall."
As to whether ort they are
concelled well, as Rober! Burns
sald
Puine the
Would _power_no" To se vurselves
UB"
"Hullo, you blokes," cried. "Just heard a deuced changing funny story. You know an Britain elephant is supposed never advertise-to forget? Well, a big game
had hunter
caught an motoring elephant in a trap-------**
QIGNIFICANT
social
uf
In Values full page which
appeared British
In
the
was ment GOYETE
wall-innown cust
15
FRIKAZLIK".
must tire Possibly stricture 1271 Englishman pass on anything is that it
Not that as "not good form. essentially good or bad. Simply that it là bad "form." Or i 19 "just not done."
And to
discover what Is "form" and what is "done" the Englishman looks to the social his class immediately ahead of own. Since the U-cuil purporte to tell him what U-people re- gard as "form", you can uppre- clate the social impact of th Dow rather wearisome joke.
EVERYTHING
and
my
4
to
"What sort of a trap?" asked which he happened to be at the
"An elephant trap, i supe, I wouldn't be much good using
thing smaller " "They dig a big pit and cover
with branches- began.
it
ever
world-famous Lucas. engineering Arm, Rolls-Royce, asked for applications for up- they prenticesh stipulated that the buys they sight should come from public schools or grammar schools.
Now, in the past the public schools-which are anything but what their tume suggests...
alnost exclusively turned out recruits for
the ex- (forgive pression) the U-professions, 1,0.. the Army, Navy, Foreign Ser-Lucas. vice. Church (of England, ol Course). and the Bur.
A Englishman learned from the of the social state,
1
"And then tether an elephant of the opposite
sex cut in
"Sex again," I murmured re-
The way this chap
ND what has Mr Average grammar schools, slightly lower turned out and civil
high-priests of "U" Primarily white cellar workers that almost everything he does servants, And says is "Non-U. When he Apprentices were the pro- Luchs. talks of his Berviette OF his duct of focal council schools. "I don't really
home, tris cycle or his money or says "pleased to meet you" to a stranger, he is being very “Non-4)." (U-terms are napkin, house, bike, never eny mention do?" of money, and "how do you
the last requiring no answer). "Non-U" people pour milk into a cup before they pour the ken, and they take sugar in their coffee.
All excessively trivial and doubtless a satire by Miss Mit ford on the social birthmarks of the upper-class from which she
"work-
time.'
"What town was that?"
"It's nothing to do with the story what town it was, but if you insist, let's say it was Saffron Walden.”
"What an emazing coin- cidence!" said Lucas.
"The finest circus I ever saw was at
There Saffron Walden.
were tigers on tightropes. and mon- keys on bicycles shot from guns, and performing
dogs riding side- saddle on ponies. Would it be the same show, d'you think?"
"This chap took a ticket-just a cheap one, because he hard up."
was
to
"He wasn't in a position throw money away ke that, however cheap the seat," I said
caught an elephant, quite a young one," Gunter continued doggedly.
"African or Indian?" asked
see it makes severely. humble homes and the
any difference,"
"He was fond of circuses," ing class."
"An old one of one breed went on Günter, speaking very Socially acceptable white-might quite easily be mistaken carefully and quietly. I think collar Joba were taken by the for a young one of the other, he was fighting for self-control. public and grommar school boys and then the whole story fails "He was well at the back, but often at A financial sacridee. to the ground."
enjoying the show when, all of Toil-stained hands would have "Look," Gold Gunter,
with a sudden, he noticed huge marked them as social pariahs.
surprising patience, "this chap performing elephant watching But as Britain awakens to the CRU vital need for more
a young elephant. Is that him with great interest," con- and more
Linued Guntor. technologists. the recruits
We nodded gravely, and the
"Here it comes," whispered such jobs are being accorded a story-teller proceeded, his Lucas. "Fell out of my cradle completely
and new,
higher. paunch already aquiver at the laughing at this one." sucial status.
thought of the shriekingly funny ending to his tale.
Sic transit.
10
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"What's that?" backed Gunter suspiciously.
"Sald I can't wait to hear the end of this one," answered my friend blandly.
"He recognised the animal as
the one he'd released all those
years ago knew it because had oddly notched ears."
it
"Don't
Rather.
You sce
Very
سران
circus
couldn't have seen it,” "You
"It's just snapped Gunter. story never really happened. I told you for the joke of it."
suppose
"Very amusing;
drink, Lucas
deserves I sald, signalling
the doorway.
Д
milkins.
"state" com wore down over
monplace he listens
been quite din oris, things, had ledge of English but he follows
state visit to
nicely
"Just thought of another little tale that might amuse you," suld throt I
Gumber.
(COPYшGUT)
THESE PROPHETS CRY DOOM
CARCELY
By STANFORD TATE
without some "Doomsday
year passes
Schemotaces an impending calamity for our
earth.
A recent prediction is that the world will come to an end in June this year, when a planet--at present heading this way--crashes into it.
of
The pre-royal
Tvisit
80
the time-honoured resort of having it translated to him chock" by
In Ita the French in 1939 was drastic that he can have a little more Blue time to ponder his answer with- thoroughness.
went prowling out perceptibly holding things chinned "fles"
end by-ways and up. the streets blocks of flats in Paris on the
I found him fascinating, this lookout for undesirables. Josip man who has clawed his way to Broz then
all
Soviet
young on the run, was une the top of the pile.
to the Compared undesirable. Ho heard about the readers the clowning, tipsy activities of the police, and de- Kruhchov; the beaming-uncle cided to got out wille the go- figure of Bulganin; the Ameri ing was good, false passports can carpet-salesman aspect of Anastas Mikoyan, and the rest Fourteen years later and he of them--Tito during the May was bowed to Buckingham visit, was a figure of tremendous Palace.
authority and cold, faultless Tito fought hard and doggedly dignity," through the harsh warfare of Ho
have come may
from ambush and ruse, night attack nothing but he looks and Like Somebody these
and purachute drop, among the
groat mountains of Yugoslavia days.
In the last war.
He
cmbraced Communism, went to Moscow, knew Stalin.
He broke with Moscow, defied THE final scenes at the tare- Stalin, was called a "ridiculous 1 well party which host Tite dwarf" and much else by Radio gave for his guests cannot often. Moscow for his pains.
have been paralleled in Britain and America noting annals of
diplomatic
the
polite
One might think that in this age of science, predic. tions of imminent catastrophe would not be taken so seriously, yet with each "prophecy" 4 new егор disciples preparcs for the worst,
It is only a few years ago that the 20,000 inhabitants of the break with Moscow started society. Dinkelsbuchi, Germany, suddenly began praying in the streets, to smile approvingly. Tite play-knowns, Krushchev got well and The rumour had spread that the planet Saturn had broken out of ing his cards admirably, began truly plastered. His capacity for its orbit and was plunging towards the earth. According to some to pick up a little loose change, vodka has never been in ques
in the shape of economic and tion but that evening he had roports it was heading straight for Dinkelsbucht
Germany, military afd, from the West.
It was not only before the story spread through and hundreds of thousands of people became panic-stricken. It took the best efforts the authorities to calm the people and restore order.
FRIGHTENED PEOPLE
Bold
been
As all the world now
bustly knocking back vodka with silvovitz chasers. The result was sensational and the wonder was that the little
Tito, although Communist, He stood awaying at the top was " "different" Communist of the stairs, reluctant, as are
UST when it seemed that man was still on his feet, JUST
In Pasadena, California, groups of frightened people their possessions, paid their debris, and generally made peace with the exe changed completely. It many drunks, to add the beaut their neighbours when Reverend Charles G. Long told the world started if I had known it, ful party and go home, Mikoyan while I was silting talking to and Bulganin kept plucking at that our planet was shortly going to end in one gigantic explosion him in hts modest home in his sleeve and bagging him to
During the last few days before the appointed hour of doon,
Weather preparations.
institutions scientific
of
Tecent
long
tunie,
wearing a
In Moscow, Stalin ng all fly. Tito stood watch-
was not announced
"Did I ever tell you?" I ask- the pante spread farther afield and thousands of people all over March 1953. In dos subst in come
this with a gloriously United States began making final ed, that I was once engaged to
dying of a stroke although sardonic expression. lay wero the event girl with notched ears? Great stations, planetariums and leading
Finally two vast M.V.D. big strapping girl she WDS
swamped with inquiries asking when the end was coming.
until some time later. Stalin's goons were summoned, lifted hockey International Her great, Perhaps the most colourful "Doomsday prophet"
times was the ane, John Mikkelsen. In 1943 he appeared in death started the train of events Krushchey under the elbows, great-great-grandfather had
to the landing
great Russian the streets of Copenhagen dressed in a
and carried him bodily down- been killed at Bannockburn, and
and announced that about-face of the spring of May stairs his short legs just clear every time she scored a goal
1055 when Bulgania and of the ground. he was the reincarnation of the prophet Daniel. against Scotland she cut
went to Belgrade Krushchev
to- an-
Tito, over the perfect host, other notch in her ears. Un- Ho prophesied that the world was shortly due to perish by Krusho
fust of their bowed a courtly farwell as they when fortunately, one evening
but a groat flood, far greater than the Biblical deluge, and that only other
effective foreign all disappeared into the night. we were exchanging artless little
After making this fearfulood-will tours, ha and his followers would survive. announcement ho confidences, as lovers will, I let
and his disciples started to build arks.
Since then Tito has been
(COPYRIGHT) out the fact that I'd a childhood
There are many in Europe who still have vivid memories of
ends against the sweetheart called Melisande Padre Encsbio, a Spanish- monk, who, in 1805, plunged hair the playing both MacTavish. That terminated the Continent into panic when he announced that the world would middle with engagement. I was struck down come to an end on September 25 that year. The confusion was body is quite sure how far be back into tho by a hockey stick and left for so great that scores of newspapers published appeals to the public has swayed
Russian camp; what his future dead. You can still see the mark to keep calm.
intentions are towards Moscow. on my forehead."
MANDRAKE THE MAGICIAN
THE CRASSHOPPER LEAPS AWAY,
THE MANTIS AFTER HIM ——
THAT WAS THE GRASSHOPPER
WE WERE SEARCHING
FOR
(COPYRIGHT)
HE HELPED US.AT LEAST- BY DRAWING THE MANTIS
AWAY!
LET'S STAY INSIDE --BEFORE ANY-
THING ELSE
APPEARS!
on the
a vengeance. No-
By Leo Falk and Phil Davis
EATING ITS
AT
A CARPENTER ANT-
LEAST
WE BE
SAFE IN
HERE
WAY IN--
Watch out for more MacColl memories next Saturday
TALK
ABOUT
MAGIC!
Have you seen
Admiral
AIR CONDITIONE BRAND REFRIG