1955-02-09 — Page 4

I

Mr. Todd packs

his sword and bowler

London.

T looks to me as though

bowler huited

Richard Todd, who drives a 20-year-old Rolls electric With and plays trains, is all set to 1l the 113 The swish. vaconey buckling department. Holly

wood.

1+

with

It is caused by the deparware for Ks strenuous employment of Mr Errol Flynn, Mr Englas Fairbanks, Jun., ond Mr Romuli Colmati

well-paid joh prospects, but no superammatam scheme.

Mr Todd will be leaving soon for California, with wife, child, bowler und beard, to play Sir Walter Raleigh to Miss Belle Davis's Elizabeth.

It will

She

For Miss Davis repeal performance,

already done one stint as an beth

Mr Flynn 1 opposite

RASCX

So Mr Todd will have a lot lo mkabure up

and Mr Tudd

Aftor all,

he

says, not all herow

Took like Brrol MER: 3491YÉSZIELIŚLLIFAkikkontŠkrja:Latikarta BogkRATESTINAL2931310

Flygme 123133

~by~

Thomas Wiseman

But this piece of calculated modesty is merely a feint.

party: "What followed by a

do heroes look like?"

Then a

thrust

"Ilave you

JAK

THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 1956.

Uny parachutes explained itself, and also why Mr Todd is one of the few British stars who can jump over roof-tops without breaking his neck or getting

short of breath,

But Mr Todd ("I believe in keeping t No thank you, no dessert for nie.") has another. lesa

Ade to his gymnastic nature

HE IS a cautious capitalist Got "No liqueurs, thank you, []} Account to do today") whose assets, apart from lim- velt, include a construction com- real Jiny

Australla and estate

HE 18 homely philosopher with

a great fondness for the analogy: "Of course, one doesn't always what to be a big fish in small pond. One wants to be big fish in a big pond. That's ever met Cheshire VC? A dim- why I go to Hollywook If you 1 n ent sight, ascetic man-almost are a boxer, naturally you want

is allly.

Doesn't look a bit like

to be a world champ," Errol Flynn."

"Then And another lunge:

ACADEMY AWARD There's Montgomery. A great I knew him well at

. HE IS an actor: "I got an Keneral. one perfoxt. But in bulli and

Academy Award nomination for manner does anyone look

les The Huty Heart. That helps ilke the man of action?"

establish you in the States, Mr Todd pre I get annoyed by people who At this slago

the kill. Hla

chly suggest that I am

to be After-ip cigareti pares for

seriously an actor. anti-nicotine holier thrusts forward. Its gold cuff takon ("for double safely) Mr Todd buks in the form of the letters it takes a lot of acting to play

emerge from under his these swashbuckling roles.", agreed that, the face of R, R. T.

turned up

cutlery sleeve; his

HE IS a diplomai: "Obv}- the kidneys

und hopes hovers above

and ously I have brussels Aprouts ("No saute for making people take me

seriously as an actor potators, thank you").

mensures only 571. 8in, vertically without elevated soles,

DEVIL-MAY-CARE

Inserting u

Into his

he was not, perhaps, the mast obvious choice for a devi|+may care serven bern.

But this was due to our mis-

about conception

the nature and physical proportions of reat livros.

10

མ་་

But you With what he clearly thinks is don't think I'd make the mie-

he devastating effect, throws take of telling you about them."

"As 11 hup- away the next ine:

Mr Tuck】 admitted to come damned good quaims at the thought that bo I wag pens.

1

carning wa in the Com- Was

than more athlete. mandos and in the paratroopers Cabinet Minister. 1 broke both during the war. my shoulders. Ste how deceptive appearances can be."

"What do your Fairbanks and your Flyins have in common?" he usks. And answers himself; "Size. And a certam ebullience and extravagance of manner."

"To lock

Cam - at me," he tinues, "what would you me for?

A Cly clerk7"

take

I had not been devolved. The regimental tie decorated with

Another

籬

But it was all according to the law of supply and demand

And there was not so much demand for Cabinet Ministers as there was for Mr Todd.

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A landmark in the history of Time mearwenient

THE

"I'm sure wdr's not

SALEKT

imminent

as all that, Grandma.'

P h f f f t

That's the noise made when someone's marriage

breaks up-and when a divorce breaks up too

MARRIAGE of Nina and Bob went Ph..1...f .. 1 how and Charlie Nelson tells

he tried to help each in turn to live a balanced, civilised life apart....

T was Nina's mother-the one who designed those crazy round beds -- who really brought Nina and Bob together again.

While I was advising Robert on women, Nina's mother Was saying to Nina: "You really ought to be getting a frosh slant on life, And by meeting new, keen men."

the man suggested was me.

So an appointment was fixed and one night I hurried out to see Nina for drinks and a chat.

I found her wearing one of those gay, satiny bed-robes that women have -trousers and a dying skirt; all very smart and elegant.

She set about mixing martinis for me and confessed that really as far as martinis went it was her maiden effort. She certainly had EA remarkable way with martinis. Nina poured in and then just half a bottle of gin allowed the vermouth to look

"Mustn't sald happily: She bruise the gin must 1. Any way, how can you bruise gin?" "There's not a mark on the gin," I assured her.

I said to Nina': “You know I always thought you were a bit of a pain. A ropal pain-but a pain.",

Maybe we had overdone the

at it.

and Nina said: "You're A whiner-you of all people.", setting a bit by putting that So I took another of those tiger-skin rug on the floor. deadly drinks and I decided I Because as soon as Janis saw it would try to kiss her instead.

she said: "Do you mind if I sit

I suppose my tongue must on your tiger-skin? I've always have been running away with wanted to try a tiger-skin rug" We got down to the more me by then because just before

You know, when you

NATHANIEL GUBBINS

"I don't know, Albert, Prob-

TELEPHONE call for "What's the price of a pair of Albert The Robot kippers? Columnist stopped all ably about 9d work just when we were getting our Ideas together.

It's # Transatlantle call, Albert.

Froin America? Yes, Albert.

Who is it? Eisenhower? It's not likely that the Preat dent of the United States would call you, Albert,

He might want some advice about the result of the elections. It's a metallic female voles, Albert. She says her name is Mildred

Mildred? I don't know, ang body called Mildred,

Just a minute, Albert,

Well, could you lend me 94, and the fare to London?"

"You don't mean you want to go to London to present Beauty Flower

pair, of kippers?"

with

"Why not? She's crazy about them.

"But no girl is likely to be impressed with a gift like that, Albert, It would be a more de- Ileate compliment', if you gave her a bunch of flowers."

"Some girl like flowers. Some like oranges. Eve Kiked apples. Beauty Flower Ikes kippers,”

"I don't like your reference to Eve's apple, Albert,"

"Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh."

She says she's a robot like you Letter From A Fox

and that she's an electric brain

working for the US Navy.

I've

read

tho

of

is from I don't care about giria brains. THE following

ecrrespondence column: about, her already the Animals' Newspaper edited and she's pretty important. The by N. Gubbins, Esq. politicians borrowed her work SIR.

Pm not interested in

kind of figures,

We know that, Albert,

out election statistics because As I was reading some chit- she's so clever at figures.

chat in an evening paper I those noted that many famous hunts To quote: gre short of money. But Few hunting men can afford

the expense of being a Masters and The Belvoir hunt has Inunched an obpeal for funds."

Although this state of affairs

she's a fan of yours,

la the really?

She admires your Will you speak to her!

cheap.

writing.

don't want to make myself may be regarded with cynicism by old-age pensioners who may have to wait some time for an Increase

in their

Don't Ket above yourself,

cordial

Albert. And remember the im portance Di American understanding.

Anglo-

allowance I you that foxes all can assure over the country will regard the All right. I'll speak to her. nows with concern, ... Hello, there.... Yes, this Many years ago a huntsman

bo that foxes liked to is Albert... yea, the Albert, said

then his ro

Thanks, I'm feeling fine, hunted. Since

are you?... How

a

Joko.

rather The

has become Oh, mark

stale national What's that? good... You've been through what? humorists will be surprised to ...Oh, college.... Well, lots of learn that he was speaking the American girls do that, don't truth.

We like to be hunted not only You ... Oh, I see,

exercise is good went

4 through

Ave-year because the

us but because we feel course in ten minutes.... And for

that come out top in everything contribution to the sanity and we are making our mall

they?

Well, well, you dre quite

of a small but smart girl, aren't you? Yes mental health

You work influential section of the com- Ver....I sec.... out statisties

and calcula munity. Well, tions for the Navy.... that's very interesting interesting indeed... You're thinking of doing what?

what?

over here?

Although it would be impru- dent for one without expert knowledge to delve too deeply info

the psychological make-

are among

Bald

Oh, up of people who enjoy hunt-

think it may be I hope you enjoy the ing

that You want to do without offence. (I hope)

those whoso they Date me up?

violence with them in Weil, Mildred, I'm very busy juvenile instincts for and I don't know what you have remained

words other Look old

maturity,

could be compared with

do 17... I mean y Boys and Giris who have

if you á send a photograph

or something....

Don't be rude, Albert.

never grown up.

Therciore It is pertinent.to

I'm not making blind dates

ask what social evils might with electric brains:... itello, ensue if these instincts were not there, Mildred. What are sublimated in the hunting neld? Mony thoughtful foxes

your measurements? Really, Albert,

Careful, Albert

4

common

A hundred inches all the is not too much to assume that of my acquaintance consider it way down?.... Do you mean the end of hunting through lacks to any you have no walat? ...

of funds might mean that wife No er-Term«et......

(and even husband) beating would become Why, Mildred, you must

among practice

the upper have idind of out-size H line. classes and that even an out- What's your colouring, break of murder in high places Mildred? Are you a blonde, could be the direct result of

brunette or a red-head? represalan. Copper

D

wires over

dume, eh?

样

Well,

I suppose

In view of the gravity of the problem and before Innocent that makes you a red-head if people suffer because hunting

you

a

like Dina domes and

us is beynd the means of those glass eyes, too? You must whose ataviem must be "ap- be quite a smasher.... I sec. pensed, may I suggest that

Yes. No ankles and a

and fund for impoverished hunts riveted stept chest,... Well, men be opened through, the Mildred.... Yes, I know, medium of your valuable

good cook and paper?

You're

homey. Yes, that's fine, Although foxes ..have no Mildred, but I just don't hap money we would gladly offer pen to like riveted steel chesta for sale chickens. we.. bave on women.... Well, it was stolen tin order to avoid what nice talking to you, Mildred right) proyb 18 be a docial

Good-bye.

calarnity !!!

With Kippers

remain, Str.

Yours faithfully,

A. FOX.

was only after a struggle Good Old Days

that I prevented hibiki film clanking, Dat of the room after the telesine forverration,

"When dobrou

so

from

************««/««EE

the. Animals' Newspaper is an inter- view. with the oldent cat in Eritain

serious business of the evening. I did kiss her I said to her: fast. And then, forgetting the going, All theNTE NA MUNIour by one of the brilliant team of

WETC

champalert.

his chair

slipping The atmosphere_was

and the orchid

had bought

him back into for aher, Janis made a fatal mistake. She said: "You know, Charlie

I talked to her about Romance married to Robert I always whic The Charlie Nelson technique with romance is to make women thought you were a bit

of

A royal pala— but pain."

either laugh or ery and so get pain. them into a good mood

Nina

Nina raced off the settee and was going to be with me to- halted my exposition. She sold: "I was married for said: "Charlie you're right. I too good for you. You'd eight years and I never heard am

better go or I'll call Robert," about that technique."

I went on with my explana tion. "Thero's the man

who

I

says

A

Te London said Iber.

"Why Lampon, Albert?"

animal reporters,

Dark haired,

eyed, white-whoringen

[22%year= old Mry Tim, who can still see "I'm sick of this place."

What werelyota looking at in hall mice without the dia of he had to go for a the paper you were reading? glasses talked to me about the TK/7CE..with some

girl he

beautiful good 1 offt days when hajressived knows a television writer. She. More pictures of

me in his charming home at girls?" has just got a divorce or some-

Berkahira "Yes,"

Cookham thing and she was married to

The French fashion models?"Mr Ulm, best friends. So one of his

"No." I am really rather hazy about Charlle has gone to keep her

„ka ("they be taken all the nature what happened then. All I

"The lovely British Guiada company."

out

„Femenibers the time know is that one second I wis

brides of the Scottish soldiers?"

when "No."

away "Then what?)

offly Ed. each.

*

in the room with her and the next second I'

I was out in the

cold night air.

And Robert? Well, while I

Robert then made an exit

has never drunk

milk since it was; pasteurised.

The Japanese ballet dancers.”

wall clothed to buit long

it www have thought they

Do beads were given '

nd

salmon hengs were

What is the secret, of your

Tasked life, Mr. Tin T "Good food, plenty of sleep,

cries when he meets you," said. "He's the one who without you he cannot sleep

you don't cannot eat, and if marry

he'll die. “Criem always seem to end up married. I never

why." know Then I went on to tell her went to see Nins I thought I'd from that room almost as fast about my favourite

been smart in arranging for that as the one I made from Nina's werd approach

He broke every speed limit your tastes I nice little blonde Janis to spend Mostly

"I think they're amdahing.” laugh. through

"Last week it was the Italian pride myself on being able to the evening having dinner at in his aports car on the way to Nina's house, He must have

Alo netrem Gina Lollobrigida, raise a laugh no matter where my dat with Bob.

arrived just after I'd been. I had given him a pep talk giri

Now the thrown out. Because when Which one do you like best?",

It's Japanese dancers. before a-receptive mood by laugh

of got in he heard, Nina, sobbing moat -infinitely ing." I said, "but it's

"I love them all." course, and I on the phone to her mother: more rewarding,

It's

no good. I want Robert "No press enou?? thought that DAVID

this time thoro

back.

I love him, and I have "Well, perhaps Mi Miho suppose you are pol quite

more amanhing so active as you were, Mr Tin would be no never

loved him. I should-Hanayagul always LEWIN

divorced him in, the

the than the others. And her name

It doi oi ca the CASA supping up frat p

means "Beauty Flower.""

much-now," "Robert was

Robert mixed his own jug of

other advantages?".

·wrote this "wearing a silk. 14tial then and raced upstairs

Into

am. "It's harder to get

a

"Somewhere in between the

criers and the laughers are the

whiners--the men who say to a

woman: "I'm not good enough for you. I always Ignore, that whining, technique,”

ག

version.ò f dinner nekot, the gay film that gave a new word to the lan

phere

to Ning

And he turns E5,000.0

4 do not have to tell infikely that the would

share her money

and no worry Mr. Tim en- swered. - *When was young there was meat or' flah ovary: day chicken liveron

was a kitten that even the poorest cats Hved welly

Bundagverything was no

cheap when

*bus,the

are for young

A basket by the freyr you want when you're 247 wwhat do you think of the you think they're fighty?”.

Normally when I explain the

almo you what happened next Be position everything goes accord

to the fore

t--they word tongther ing to plan. My plans dagg

And according to the pulled out. A But Robert, wasiat on the g With Nina it didn't seem to

Liger skin rug vatairs he had, tripped on that the likes kippers w work. I began to soothe problema. Robert must have

which fira de lóowe stair rod, lift been a prop in a play I had once li And me -- Charlie" ybe it was the martini walitengokk but before 1 Janowi whamkoWEE There was also a large, very night brobation 1 was, actually saying, large, boule of thumpune in

roora, had 'gou could my Ph. in. I Albert,” BENTik a roboty. modern she-ostale Tunik

but

THE IND

Nelson? for kippars mylitbet

papers

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