I
Mr. Todd packs
his sword and bowler
London.
T looks to me as though
bowler huited
Richard Todd, who drives a 20-year-old Rolls electric With and plays trains, is all set to 1l the 113 The swish. vaconey buckling department. Holly
wood.
1+
with
It is caused by the deparware for Ks strenuous employment of Mr Errol Flynn, Mr Englas Fairbanks, Jun., ond Mr Romuli Colmati
well-paid joh prospects, but no superammatam scheme.
Mr Todd will be leaving soon for California, with wife, child, bowler und beard, to play Sir Walter Raleigh to Miss Belle Davis's Elizabeth.
It will
She
For Miss Davis repeal performance,
already done one stint as an beth
Mr Flynn 1 opposite
RASCX
So Mr Todd will have a lot lo mkabure up
and Mr Tudd
Aftor all,
he
says, not all herow
Took like Brrol MER: 3491YÉSZIELIŚLLIFAkikkontŠkrja:Latikarta BogkRATESTINAL2931310
Flygme 123133
~by~
Thomas Wiseman
But this piece of calculated modesty is merely a feint.
party: "What followed by a
do heroes look like?"
Then a
thrust
"Ilave you
JAK
THE CHINA MAIL, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 1956.
Uny parachutes explained itself, and also why Mr Todd is one of the few British stars who can jump over roof-tops without breaking his neck or getting
short of breath,
But Mr Todd ("I believe in keeping t No thank you, no dessert for nie.") has another. lesa
Ade to his gymnastic nature
HE IS a cautious capitalist Got "No liqueurs, thank you, []} Account to do today") whose assets, apart from lim- velt, include a construction com- real Jiny
Australla and estate
HE 18 homely philosopher with
a great fondness for the analogy: "Of course, one doesn't always what to be a big fish in small pond. One wants to be big fish in a big pond. That's ever met Cheshire VC? A dim- why I go to Hollywook If you 1 n ent sight, ascetic man-almost are a boxer, naturally you want
is allly.
Doesn't look a bit like
to be a world champ," Errol Flynn."
"Then And another lunge:
ACADEMY AWARD There's Montgomery. A great I knew him well at
. HE IS an actor: "I got an Keneral. one perfoxt. But in bulli and
Academy Award nomination for manner does anyone look
les The Huty Heart. That helps ilke the man of action?"
establish you in the States, Mr Todd pre I get annoyed by people who At this slago
the kill. Hla
chly suggest that I am
to be After-ip cigareti pares for
seriously an actor. anti-nicotine holier thrusts forward. Its gold cuff takon ("for double safely) Mr Todd buks in the form of the letters it takes a lot of acting to play
emerge from under his these swashbuckling roles.", agreed that, the face of R, R. T.
turned up
cutlery sleeve; his
HE IS a diplomai: "Obv}- the kidneys
und hopes hovers above
and ously I have brussels Aprouts ("No saute for making people take me
seriously as an actor potators, thank you").
mensures only 571. 8in, vertically without elevated soles,
DEVIL-MAY-CARE
Inserting u
Into his
he was not, perhaps, the mast obvious choice for a devi|+may care serven bern.
But this was due to our mis-
about conception
the nature and physical proportions of reat livros.
10
མ་་
But you With what he clearly thinks is don't think I'd make the mie-
he devastating effect, throws take of telling you about them."
"As 11 hup- away the next ine:
Mr Tuck】 admitted to come damned good quaims at the thought that bo I wag pens.
1
carning wa in the Com- Was
than more athlete. mandos and in the paratroopers Cabinet Minister. 1 broke both during the war. my shoulders. Ste how deceptive appearances can be."
"What do your Fairbanks and your Flyins have in common?" he usks. And answers himself; "Size. And a certam ebullience and extravagance of manner."
"To lock
Cam - at me," he tinues, "what would you me for?
A Cly clerk7"
take
I had not been devolved. The regimental tie decorated with
Another
籬
But it was all according to the law of supply and demand
And there was not so much demand for Cabinet Ministers as there was for Mr Todd.
ROLEX
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A landmark in the history of Time mearwenient
THE
"I'm sure wdr's not
SALEKT
imminent
as all that, Grandma.'
P h f f f t
That's the noise made when someone's marriage
breaks up-and when a divorce breaks up too
MARRIAGE of Nina and Bob went Ph..1...f .. 1 how and Charlie Nelson tells
he tried to help each in turn to live a balanced, civilised life apart....
T was Nina's mother-the one who designed those crazy round beds -- who really brought Nina and Bob together again.
While I was advising Robert on women, Nina's mother Was saying to Nina: "You really ought to be getting a frosh slant on life, And by meeting new, keen men."
the man suggested was me.
So an appointment was fixed and one night I hurried out to see Nina for drinks and a chat.
I found her wearing one of those gay, satiny bed-robes that women have -trousers and a dying skirt; all very smart and elegant.
She set about mixing martinis for me and confessed that really as far as martinis went it was her maiden effort. She certainly had EA remarkable way with martinis. Nina poured in and then just half a bottle of gin allowed the vermouth to look
"Mustn't sald happily: She bruise the gin must 1. Any way, how can you bruise gin?" "There's not a mark on the gin," I assured her.
I said to Nina': “You know I always thought you were a bit of a pain. A ropal pain-but a pain.",
Maybe we had overdone the
at it.
and Nina said: "You're A whiner-you of all people.", setting a bit by putting that So I took another of those tiger-skin rug on the floor. deadly drinks and I decided I Because as soon as Janis saw it would try to kiss her instead.
she said: "Do you mind if I sit
I suppose my tongue must on your tiger-skin? I've always have been running away with wanted to try a tiger-skin rug" We got down to the more me by then because just before
You know, when you
NATHANIEL GUBBINS
"I don't know, Albert, Prob-
TELEPHONE call for "What's the price of a pair of Albert The Robot kippers? Columnist stopped all ably about 9d work just when we were getting our Ideas together.
It's # Transatlantle call, Albert.
Froin America? Yes, Albert.
Who is it? Eisenhower? It's not likely that the Preat dent of the United States would call you, Albert,
He might want some advice about the result of the elections. It's a metallic female voles, Albert. She says her name is Mildred
Mildred? I don't know, ang body called Mildred,
Just a minute, Albert,
Well, could you lend me 94, and the fare to London?"
"You don't mean you want to go to London to present Beauty Flower
pair, of kippers?"
with
"Why not? She's crazy about them.
"But no girl is likely to be impressed with a gift like that, Albert, It would be a more de- Ileate compliment', if you gave her a bunch of flowers."
"Some girl like flowers. Some like oranges. Eve Kiked apples. Beauty Flower Ikes kippers,”
"I don't like your reference to Eve's apple, Albert,"
"Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh."
She says she's a robot like you Letter From A Fox
and that she's an electric brain
working for the US Navy.
I've
read
tho
of
is from I don't care about giria brains. THE following
ecrrespondence column: about, her already the Animals' Newspaper edited and she's pretty important. The by N. Gubbins, Esq. politicians borrowed her work SIR.
Pm not interested in
kind of figures,
We know that, Albert,
out election statistics because As I was reading some chit- she's so clever at figures.
chat in an evening paper I those noted that many famous hunts To quote: gre short of money. But Few hunting men can afford
the expense of being a Masters and The Belvoir hunt has Inunched an obpeal for funds."
Although this state of affairs
she's a fan of yours,
la the really?
She admires your Will you speak to her!
cheap.
writing.
don't want to make myself may be regarded with cynicism by old-age pensioners who may have to wait some time for an Increase
in their
Don't Ket above yourself,
cordial
Albert. And remember the im portance Di American understanding.
Anglo-
allowance I you that foxes all can assure over the country will regard the All right. I'll speak to her. nows with concern, ... Hello, there.... Yes, this Many years ago a huntsman
bo that foxes liked to is Albert... yea, the Albert, said
then his ro
Thanks, I'm feeling fine, hunted. Since
are you?... How
a
Joko.
rather The
has become Oh, mark
stale national What's that? good... You've been through what? humorists will be surprised to ...Oh, college.... Well, lots of learn that he was speaking the American girls do that, don't truth.
We like to be hunted not only You ... Oh, I see,
exercise is good went
4 through
Ave-year because the
us but because we feel course in ten minutes.... And for
that come out top in everything contribution to the sanity and we are making our mall
they?
Well, well, you dre quite
of a small but smart girl, aren't you? Yes mental health
You work influential section of the com- Ver....I sec.... out statisties
and calcula munity. Well, tions for the Navy.... that's very interesting interesting indeed... You're thinking of doing what?
what?
over here?
Although it would be impru- dent for one without expert knowledge to delve too deeply info
the psychological make-
are among
Bald
Oh, up of people who enjoy hunt-
think it may be I hope you enjoy the ing
that You want to do without offence. (I hope)
those whoso they Date me up?
violence with them in Weil, Mildred, I'm very busy juvenile instincts for and I don't know what you have remained
words other Look old
maturity,
could be compared with
do 17... I mean y Boys and Giris who have
if you á send a photograph
or something....
Don't be rude, Albert.
never grown up.
Therciore It is pertinent.to
I'm not making blind dates
ask what social evils might with electric brains:... itello, ensue if these instincts were not there, Mildred. What are sublimated in the hunting neld? Mony thoughtful foxes
your measurements? Really, Albert,
Careful, Albert
4
common
A hundred inches all the is not too much to assume that of my acquaintance consider it way down?.... Do you mean the end of hunting through lacks to any you have no walat? ...
of funds might mean that wife No er-Term«et......
(and even husband) beating would become Why, Mildred, you must
among practice
the upper have idind of out-size H line. classes and that even an out- What's your colouring, break of murder in high places Mildred? Are you a blonde, could be the direct result of
brunette or a red-head? represalan. Copper
D
wires over
dume, eh?
样
Well,
I suppose
In view of the gravity of the problem and before Innocent that makes you a red-head if people suffer because hunting
you
a
like Dina domes and
us is beynd the means of those glass eyes, too? You must whose ataviem must be "ap- be quite a smasher.... I sec. pensed, may I suggest that
Yes. No ankles and a
and fund for impoverished hunts riveted stept chest,... Well, men be opened through, the Mildred.... Yes, I know, medium of your valuable
good cook and paper?
You're
homey. Yes, that's fine, Although foxes ..have no Mildred, but I just don't hap money we would gladly offer pen to like riveted steel chesta for sale chickens. we.. bave on women.... Well, it was stolen tin order to avoid what nice talking to you, Mildred right) proyb 18 be a docial
Good-bye.
calarnity !!!
With Kippers
remain, Str.
Yours faithfully,
A. FOX.
was only after a struggle Good Old Days
that I prevented hibiki film clanking, Dat of the room after the telesine forverration,
"When dobrou
so
from
************««/««EE
the. Animals' Newspaper is an inter- view. with the oldent cat in Eritain
serious business of the evening. I did kiss her I said to her: fast. And then, forgetting the going, All theNTE NA MUNIour by one of the brilliant team of
WETC
champalert.
his chair
slipping The atmosphere_was
and the orchid
had bought
him back into for aher, Janis made a fatal mistake. She said: "You know, Charlie
I talked to her about Romance married to Robert I always whic The Charlie Nelson technique with romance is to make women thought you were a bit
of
A royal pala— but pain."
either laugh or ery and so get pain. them into a good mood
Nina
Nina raced off the settee and was going to be with me to- halted my exposition. She sold: "I was married for said: "Charlie you're right. I too good for you. You'd eight years and I never heard am
better go or I'll call Robert," about that technique."
I went on with my explana tion. "Thero's the man
who
I
says
A
Te London said Iber.
"Why Lampon, Albert?"
animal reporters,
Dark haired,
eyed, white-whoringen
[22%year= old Mry Tim, who can still see "I'm sick of this place."
What werelyota looking at in hall mice without the dia of he had to go for a the paper you were reading? glasses talked to me about the TK/7CE..with some
girl he
beautiful good 1 offt days when hajressived knows a television writer. She. More pictures of
me in his charming home at girls?" has just got a divorce or some-
Berkahira "Yes,"
Cookham thing and she was married to
The French fashion models?"Mr Ulm, best friends. So one of his
"No." I am really rather hazy about Charlle has gone to keep her
„ka ("they be taken all the nature what happened then. All I
"The lovely British Guiada company."
out
„Femenibers the time know is that one second I wis
brides of the Scottish soldiers?"
when "No."
away "Then what?)
offly Ed. each.
*
in the room with her and the next second I'
I was out in the
cold night air.
And Robert? Well, while I
Robert then made an exit
has never drunk
milk since it was; pasteurised.
The Japanese ballet dancers.”
wall clothed to buit long
it www have thought they
Do beads were given '
nd
salmon hengs were
What is the secret, of your
Tasked life, Mr. Tin T "Good food, plenty of sleep,
cries when he meets you," said. "He's the one who without you he cannot sleep
you don't cannot eat, and if marry
he'll die. “Criem always seem to end up married. I never
why." know Then I went on to tell her went to see Nins I thought I'd from that room almost as fast about my favourite
been smart in arranging for that as the one I made from Nina's werd approach
He broke every speed limit your tastes I nice little blonde Janis to spend Mostly
"I think they're amdahing.” laugh. through
"Last week it was the Italian pride myself on being able to the evening having dinner at in his aports car on the way to Nina's house, He must have
Alo netrem Gina Lollobrigida, raise a laugh no matter where my dat with Bob.
arrived just after I'd been. I had given him a pep talk giri
Now the thrown out. Because when Which one do you like best?",
It's Japanese dancers. before a-receptive mood by laugh
of got in he heard, Nina, sobbing moat -infinitely ing." I said, "but it's
"I love them all." course, and I on the phone to her mother: more rewarding,
It's
no good. I want Robert "No press enou?? thought that DAVID
this time thoro
back.
I love him, and I have "Well, perhaps Mi Miho suppose you are pol quite
more amanhing so active as you were, Mr Tin would be no never
loved him. I should-Hanayagul always LEWIN
divorced him in, the
the than the others. And her name
It doi oi ca the CASA supping up frat p
means "Beauty Flower.""
much-now," "Robert was
Robert mixed his own jug of
other advantages?".
·wrote this "wearing a silk. 14tial then and raced upstairs
Into
am. "It's harder to get
a
"Somewhere in between the
criers and the laughers are the
whiners--the men who say to a
woman: "I'm not good enough for you. I always Ignore, that whining, technique,”
ག
version.ò f dinner nekot, the gay film that gave a new word to the lan
phere
to Ning
And he turns E5,000.0
4 do not have to tell infikely that the would
share her money
and no worry Mr. Tim en- swered. - *When was young there was meat or' flah ovary: day chicken liveron
was a kitten that even the poorest cats Hved welly
Bundagverything was no
cheap when
*bus,the
are for young
A basket by the freyr you want when you're 247 wwhat do you think of the you think they're fighty?”.
Normally when I explain the
almo you what happened next Be position everything goes accord
to the fore
t--they word tongther ing to plan. My plans dagg
And according to the pulled out. A But Robert, wasiat on the g With Nina it didn't seem to
Liger skin rug vatairs he had, tripped on that the likes kippers w work. I began to soothe problema. Robert must have
which fira de lóowe stair rod, lift been a prop in a play I had once li And me -- Charlie" ybe it was the martini walitengokk but before 1 Janowi whamkoWEE There was also a large, very night brobation 1 was, actually saying, large, boule of thumpune in
roora, had 'gou could my Ph. in. I Albert,” BENTik a roboty. modern she-ostale Tunik
but
THE IND
Nelson? for kippars mylitbet
papers
เ
: