MUTT AND JEFF
THE CHINA MAIL, JUNE 3, 1939.
THIRTY DOLLARS A WEEK?
THIRTY
WHY, THAT WOULDN'T
BUCKS
KEEP ME IN
By BUD FISHER
O.K.,SISTER, I'LL WAIT 'TIL YOUR NOSE STOPS
RUNNIN'!
WELL, NOW THAT I'VE GOT A GOOD
JOB I THINK I'LL
FIND MYSELF A MATE AND GET
MARRIED!
THINK I'LL TRY OLIVIA FIRST! SHE'S A REAL CLASSY DAME!
OLIVIA,DARLING, YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL IN MY LIFE! NIGHT AND DAY I THINK ONLY OF YOU! WILL YOU MARRY ME NOW? I HAVE A GOOD JOB!
****
WELL,ER--WHAT'S YOUR SALARY?
A WEEK, }{ HANDKERCHIEFS!
HONEY!
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Seuss Herisin Bigha Batavoš
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PUBLICITY GAG
can work something out of it."
Maybe
Joe was skeptical, but he agreed to be on hand. So the next noon Ray Glenn parked his car near the corner of LaBrea and Western and Joe Mel- vin sat beside him. Shortly after noon Don King came down LaBrea
Don King was Hollywood's newest there. King will come driving by and and brightest star, which explains why they'll try and bum a ride. he snarled a refusal when Dave Richie asked for an interview. Don had had a trying day and he hadn't been in Hollywood long enough to learn that a famous movie star was never allowed to become tired or ugly or unpleasant. Nor had he been in Hollywood long enough to familiarize himself with driving his long, cream-coloured road- such famous journalistic countenances ster and stopped for the signal. A as that of Dave Richie.
six-foot hitch-hiker. stepped up and Now it just happened that Dave brazenly asked Don for a ride. Don Richie held a personal grudge against said something and the hitch-hiker Tremendous Studios, which was the sneered and made a crack about Don organization for which Don worked. being a sissy. Don grinned and open- also, that Mr. Richie considered him- cá the door, and the hitch-hiker climb- self quite an important person around ed in beside him. the cinema city, he being the sole cor- Joe and Ray exchanged glances. respondent for a flock of American "Follow them," Joe said. and foreign newspapers.
So Ray started his car and followed Unfortunately Mr. Richie felt hurt, the cream-coloured roadster down Feeling hurt he figuratively skulled Labrea and up Wilshire and off onto in the bushes, keeping a weather eye a side street. The cream-coloured road- on Mr. King, and when, one day he ster stopped in a vacant lot and both happened to be passing a perfumery its occupants got out. Before Joe store and espied the newest screen and Ray knew what it was all about, throb smelling of and purchasing Don had pitched into the hitch-hiker perfume, he smacked his lips.
und pounded the daylights out of him. The next day newspapers far and Joe and Ray pulled them apart. wide screamed the fact that Donnie "You dumbhead!" Ray bellowed. King's chief diversion aside from mak- "This will put you in the doghouse
By Richard Hill Wilkinson
ing love to mascaraed lassies on the for sure. Don't you know a guy screen was buying perfume for him- like this will sure you for your shirt?" self-and wasn't that something for "Yeah?" said Don through clenched a supposedly he-man like Donnie to be amusing himself at?
teeth. "Well, it'll be worth it. This big ham made a crack about me be- ing a sissy when I refused to give him a lift. So I gave him a lift and drove him out here to show him how wrong he
was." Whereupon
Don glared at the six-footer and the six- footer began to whimper.
Then Don looked up and past Joe and Ray at someone standing behind. "And if anyone else wants some proof now's a swell chance to get it."
Hal Burton, producer at Tremen- dous, tore his hair and screamed at his yes men. It just happened that Hal and other Tremendous executives had decided on and bought a story for Don King in which the boy was to be starred as a youthful and de- sperate, though romantic, gun-toting, hell-for-leather hero of the old West. The perfumery episode cancelled the possibility of Don making a hit
Then Ray and Joe noticed for the as a he-man. Hal and his henchmen first time that another car had driven consulted and decided that they would up and Dave Richie was standing by. neither murder Dave Richie nor throw Dave tried to grin it down, but botch- the story into the discard. Instead, ed the business badly. The best he somehow, they would prove to the could do was to make an ignominious disillusioned American public that departure without accepting the chal- Don was, in private life, a real, lenge.
genuine humdinger of a he-man and The next day the newspapers not a hunter of perfumes.
screamed forth the fact that Don King So they summoned Raymond Glenn, had proved himself a he-man after once newspaper man par excellence, all. Hal Burton was satisfied. He now head of
tremendous publicity thought the price Ray Glenn had agre staff at a salary of $900 a week. He ed to pay the six-footer for his part was, of course, worth it. When he in the gag was a little steep, but he heard what Hal Burton wanted he was satisfied.
didn't throw up his hands in horror (Copyright, 1939, By The Associat- and dismay, but said he could fix ed Newspapers). things he guessed, like a $900-a-week
publicity man should do.
So Ray Glenn set to work, but at ROYAL CHILDREN IN
the end of a week
he had gotten
nowhere. In desperation. he decided
to work the thing up by. degrees. LIFE-SAVING TESTS
"King's really not a bad kid," he told Joe Melvin seriously. Joe was
a correspondent, almost as important
י
A
H.R.H. Princess Elizabeth has
as Dave Richie. "How about giving him a break; build him up a little?
e?" passed the second of the Royal Life "You gotta show me something," Saving Society's tests, that for the Joe grinned. "That perfume gag intermediate certificate, while Prin- was a beaut. Look, Ray, I'd like to
cess Margaret has passed the first help you out; Why not pull some kind of st You're smarter than stage of the society's examinations, Richie. You give me a story and I'll gaining the elementary certificate. go to town for you. I don't like Richie especially.”
chin
The Princesses are under the in- But Ray scratched his
and struction of Miss Amy Daly, a mem- shook his head. "Stunts are out. This ber of the society's central executive, kid's genuine and I'm going' to prove and the examiner in both cases was it. Look! Meet me on the corner of Capt. A. E. Biscoe, the chief secre-
LaBrea and Western to-morrow noon.
There's always a bunch of hitch-hikerstary,
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