1939-01-27 — Page 31

THE CHINA MAIL FRIDAY SUPPLEMENT, JANUARY 27, 1989

CABBAGES AND

KINGS

Very Slowly

"Where were you, and what were you doing?" asked counsel in a running-down case.

"I was walking along the Eccles road towards Eccles at about four miles an hour."

"And at what pace was

trap going?"

the

"Very slowly," replied the witness, "say about three miles an hour."

"Ha!" said counsel, "but the trap overtook and passed you— do you forget that?"

"I forget nothing. It's you that forget. The trap was trotting, I was walking.”

* **

With Pictures

*

The newspaper reporter went to see his editor about a raise in salary. The reporter told his boss the saddest of sad stories.

"My family is on the point of starvation," he moaned. "My wife is terribly ill-and my chil- dren are running through the streets without shoes on their little feet."

The reporter felt that his pathetic tale had melted the stony heart of his editor. Surely a boost in salary was now his.

"Boy," enthused the editor, "that's a great story. Give me three columns-with pictures!" "Ough"

The wind was rough,

And cold and blough,

She kept her hands within her mough.

It chilled her through, Her nose grew blough,

And still the squall the father flough.

And yet, although

There was no snough,

And still the squall the faster flough.

And yet, although

There was no snough,

The weather was a cruel fough.

It made her cough- Pray, do not scough—

She coughed until her hat blough ough.

Jack Benny and the seven Buckaroos in Paramount's musical comedy "Artists and Models Abroad" now playing simultan- eously at Queen's and Alhambra Theatres.

ANY SUGAR?

A dinner ordered coffee with- out cream. The waitress was gone a long time, consulting the manager. Presently she returned and said: "Very sorry, sir, but we heaven't any cream. Will you have coffee without milk?"

* * *

QUADRANGLE·

The employer was interviewing an applicant for a job.

"For this post," he said, "I must have a man of infinite patience- do you think you have that quality?"

The applicant smiled. "Well, sir," he replied, "I have a wife, three children, a mother-in-law, and a petrol lighter?"

"I can tell

WHITE

HORSE

blindfold

THE FORTUNE TELLER

(Continued from Page 1)

too, Mrs. engaged in But I don't

There's a suspicion, Myers; that you're espionage as well. expect you to admit that.”

"As true as I'm standing here

"exclaimed Mrs. Myers.

But Mr. Kelly interrupted her. ""Well, we'll say no more about that. But, as you're an alien without any proper means of subsistence, the authorities will make use of the powers vested in them, and will have

you deported.

!

GoodbyRPR

Myers, and thank you,” MacLeary. I must say this inaccurate fortune-telling-is a disgraceful and unscrupulous business. Just bear that in mind, Mrs. Myers.

What am I to do now?". ed the old lady. "Just when I was beginning to get a good con- mection together

7

About a year later Mr. Kelly met Detective-Inspector Mac- Leary.

"Fine weather," said the, mag- istrate amiably. “By the way, how is Mrs. MacLeary?"

Mr. MacLeary looked very glum. Well you know, Mr. Kelly," he said with a certain embarrassment, "Mrs. MacLeary --well, the fact is she's · left me."

"You don't say so," said the magistrate in astonishment, such a nice young lady, too!".

“That's just it," growled Mr. MacLeary. Some young whip- persnapper went crazy about her before I knew what was happen- ing. He's a millionaire, or a business-man from Melbourne. I tried to stop her, but

Mr. MacLeary made a helpless gesture with his hand, * ̈ week

ago they sailed together for Sole Agents for South Australia.".

...it's equal to a fine liqueur"

NE MATHESON AND COMPANY-