1937-07-09 — Page 11

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THE CHINA MAIL FRIDAY SUPPLEMENT, JULY 9, 1987

SENSE OF HUMOUR

(Continued from Page 1)

"Why," Joe says, "I have to laugh every time I think of how the big greaseball i going to feel when he finds out how expensive Rosa is.

I do not known - how many things Frankie Fero- cious has running for him in Brooklyn,” “Joe says, "but he better try to move himself in on the mint if he wishes to keep Rosa going,"

I

Then he laughs again, and consider it wonderful the way of Joe is able to keep his sense humour even in such a situation as this, although up to this time I always think Joe is very daffy indeed about Rosa, who is a lit- tle doll, weighing maybe ninety pounds with her hat on, and quite cute, although personally I always consider her a little snappy in her remarks, which is the way little dolls always are.

too

Now I judge from what Joe the Joker tells me that Frankie Fero- cious knows Rosa before Joe mar- ries her, and is always pitching to her when she is singing in the Hot Box, and even after she is. Frankie Joe's ever-loving wife. occasionally calls her up, especial- ly when he commences to be a rising citizen of Brooklyn, al- though, of course. Joe does not learn about these calls until later. And about the time Frankie Ferocious commences to be a ris- ing citizen of Brooklyn, things begin breaking a little touch for Joe the Joker, what with the de- pression, and all, and he has to economise on Rosa in spots and if there is one thing Rosa cannot stand it is being economised on, which is also the way little dolls always are.

Along about now, Joe the Joker gives Frankie Ferocious the hot foot, and just as many citizens state at the time it is a mistake, for Frankie starts calling Rosa up more than somewhat, · and speaking of what a nice place Brooklyn is to live in, which it is, at that, and between these boosts for Brooklyn, and Joe the Joker's economy, Rosa just naturally hauls off and takes the subway to Bor- ough Hall, leaving Joe a note tell- ing that if he does not like it he knows what he can do.

“Well, Joe,” I say, after listen- ing with great interest to his story, "I always hate to hear of these little domestic difficulties among my friends but maybe this is all for the best. Still, I feel sorry for you if it will do you any good," I say.

"Do not feel sorry for me.” Joe says. "If you wish to feel sorry for anybody, feel sorry.... for Frankie Ferocious, and,” he says "if you can spare a little sor- row, give it to Rosa."

י

And Joe the Joker laughs very heartily again and starts telling me about a little scatter that he has up in Harlem where he keeps a chair fixed up with electric wires so he can give anybody that sits down in it a nice jolt, which sounds very humorous to me, at that, especially when Joe tells me how they turn on too much juice one night and almost kill: Com

of modore Jake.

Finally Joe says he has to get

sandwiches sent up at once to an apartment in West 72nd

Street

for a birthday party, although, of course, there is no such number as he gives, and nobody there will wish fifty dozen sandwiches if there is such a number.

Then Joe gets in his car and 'starts off, and while he is wait- ing for the traffic lights at 50th Street, I see eltizens on the side- walks making sudden leaps, and looking around very fierce, and. I know Joe the Joker is plugging them with little pellets made out of tin foil from cigarette boxes, which he fires from a rubber bank hooked between, his thumb and forefinger.

}

Joe the Joker is very expert with this proposition, and it is. very tanny to see the citizens jump, although once or twice în his life Joe makes a miscue and knocks out somebody's eye. But of course it is all in fun, and shows you what a wonderful sense of humour Joe has.

are walking peaceably along Clin- ton-street, the scragging being done by some parties in an auto- mobile who seem to have a mach- ine gun, and the papers state that that the citizens are friends of Frankie Ferocious, and that it is rumoured the parties with the machine gun are from Harlem.

I judge by this that there is some trouble in Brooklyn, especi- ally as about a week after the · citizens are scragged in Clinton- street another Harlem guy is found done up in a sack like a Virginia ham near Prospect Park, and now who is it but Joe the Joker's brother, Freddy, and I know Joe is going to be greatly displeased by this.

By and by it gets so nobody in Brooklyn will open as much as a sack of potatoes without first calling in the gendarmes, for fear a pair of No. 8 shoes will jump out at them, although everybody admits that the sack-making bus- iness is picking up wonderfully just at a time it needs help. But the citizens of Brooklyn are com- plaining about their borough be- ing all cluttered up with guys in sacks, and the Health Department is thinking of taking steps in the matter.

Now one night I see Joe the this time he is all Joker, and and

alone, and I wish to say I am willing to leave him all alone, be- cause something tells me he is hotter than a stove. But he grabs me as I am going past, so natural- ly I stop to talk to him, and the

Well, a few days after these I see by the papers where a couple of Harlem guys that I know Joe the Joker is mobbed up with are found done up in sacks over in Brooklyn very dead, indeed, the coppers say it is because they are trying to move in on certain business enterprises that belong to nobody but Frankie Ferocious. But, of course, the coppers do not say Frankie Ferocious puts these guys in the sacks, because in the report first place Frankie will them to headquarters if the cop- pers say such a thing about him, and in the second place putting guys in sacks is strictly a St. Louis idea, and to have a guy put in a sack properly you have to send to St. Louis for experts in this matter, although I hear that some very good sackers are being de- veloped in other cities.

.

Now putting a guy in a sack is not as easy as it sounds, and, in fact, it takes quite a lot of prac tice and experience. To put a guy in a sack properly, you first have to put him to sleep, because naturally no guy is going to walk into a sack wide awake unless he is a plumb sucker. Some people claim the best way to put a guy to sleep is to give him a sleeping powder of some kind in a drink, but the real experts just tap the guy on the noggin with some in- strument: such as a black-jack, which saves the expense of buy- ing the drink.

Anyway, after the guy is asleep you double him up like a pocket- knife, and tie a cord or a wire around his neck and under his knees. Then you put him in a gunny sack, and leave him some place, and by and by, when the guy wakes up and finds himself in the sack, naturally he wants to get out, and the first thing he does is to try to straighten out his knees. This pulls the cord around his neck up so tight that i after a while the guy is all out of breath.

So then, when somebody comes along and opens the sack, they and the guy dead, and nobody is responsible for this unfortunate situation, because after all the guy really commits suicide, because if he does not try to straighten out

.

her a divorce," she says, so she can márry Frankie Ferocious, suppose. Anyway "Freddy tells Comm

says, Jake

be Commodore why he is going to see her. Fred- dy always likes Rosa, and thinks be- maybe he can patch it up tween us. "So, Joe says, "he winds up in a sack. They get him after he leaves her apart- ment. I do not claim Rosa will ask him to come over if she has · any idea he will be sacked," Joe says, "but," he says, "she is res- ponsible. She is a bad luck doll,” he says.

Then he start, to laugh, and at first I am greatly horrified think- ing it is because something about Freddy being sacked strikes his says sense of humour when he to me like this:

"Say," he says, "I am going to play a wonderful joke on Frankie Ferocious."

"Well, Joe," I say, "you are not asking me for advice. but I am going to give you some free, Do not gratis, and for nothing play any jokes on Frankie Fero- cious, as I hear he has no more a nanny sense of humou: than goat. I hear Frankie Ferocious will not laugh

if you

have Al Jolson. 'Eddie Cantor, Ed Wynn and Will Rogers telling him jokes

t once. all at

In fact." I say. “I hear he is a dead. tough audi- ence."

"he

"Oh." Joe the Joker says, must have some sense of humour

first thing I say is how sorrymewhere to stand for Rosa... L

+

am about his brother, Freddy.

"Well," Joe the Joker says, "Freddy is always a kind of a

sap..

Rosa calls him up and asks him to come over to Brooklyn to. see her. She wishes to talk to Freddy about getting me to give

In hear he is daffy about her." fact." Joe says, "I understand she is the only person in the whole world he really likes, and trusts. But I must play a joke on him. I am going to have myself deliver-

Ferocious in ed to Frankie sack.'

(Continued on Page 8).

Equal to a

fine liqueur'

"

"I can tell

White Horse

blindfold! And to think that at one

back to Harlem, but first he goes hip knead he may live to ripe time I used simply to ask for whisky-and-soda!

to the telephone in the corner cigar store and calls up Mindy's and imitates a doll's voice and tells Mindy he is Peggy Joyce, or gomebody, and orders fifty dozen

old age, if he ever recovers from the tap on the noggin.

Well, a day or two later I see by the papers where three Brook- lyn citizens are scragged as they

White Horse is just like a fine liqueur !”

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