1937-04-13 — Page 11

THE CHINA MAIL, APRIL 13, 1937.

More Secrets from the Charm School.

HOW TO WALK, TALK AND STALK!

ST

ITAND up, please.

Now walk over to the near- est mirror, sit down, again, make yourself comfortable and relax. Look into the reflection of your eyes and say these words:

"I Will Try Always To Be In Love."

"I Will Make My Legs Like a Pendulum.”

Swing

"I Will Practise Eating In Front of a Mirror."

A

Now, swaying from side to side (a little difficult, unless you have been making merry), walk around the same room on the tip of your toes.

Describe a circle in the air with your hand and hiss these words:- "I want to travel right around the world, right around the world, right around the world..

*

*

*

What is it all in aid of? I'll tell you.

Yesterday Iris Heather describ- ed how and why these schools are run. To-day I will show you what they teach, or try to teach.

First, how to walk. Nicely. With Charm. With Poise.

Schools, enjoying their lessons in around with you wherever you go, tention at the Charm Schools. For lure.

so you can deal with emergencies). two humble guineas the progres- Repeat your name ad lib. sive pupil is allowed to purchase **There is nothing mysterious an additional course of twelve les- about this exercise," I heard one sons dealing with the subject. of the teachers tell a dozen wives. The teacher drew my attention "You must build up your own per- to a long ramble of advice in one sonality.

Build up the real of the official booklets. I will pass YOU. The POWERFUL you, the it on to you, for the opportunity is GLORIOUS you.

too good to be missed. Having achieved this feat, the pupils try to mouth some tricky terribly long journey. Up pops the You arrive at a party after a

witty host, promptly manufactur- ing a first-class piece of claptrap like this:-

4

Drop in at these American schools any day now and you will find a hundred or so smiling wives trapesing round the room like de- mented gazelles.

words.

Every now and then they pause in mid-air in the pose of a Grecian statue. Or flap their arms. like seals rising from the water for fish-feed from their keeper.

The walking lesson over, next They problem is talking. And this THREE, is where the Charm Schools really GINE. get into their stride.

BY JOHN WALTERS

"There really should be some pomp and

ceremony to welcome words you, but the only drums we could

find IMA-

are our palpitating hearts. Can you hear them?"”

enunciate the JENNY, PORK,

And I heard at least one forward

pupil, anxious to establish beyond all doubt her prowess as a conver- sationalist, knit the four words to- gether in the following neat little sentence-

· ·

If somebody said that to you, you would calmly but decisively kick him on the shins.

Not so the Charm Schoolers... They would reply:--

"Of course I can

to (referring hearts).

hear them!"- the palpitating

And to get out of the jam in which

30 you have

ingenuously placed yourself, you carry on in this way.

"Speaking of pomp and cere- mony, are you going to see the Coronation ?".

Though one might imagine that no woman has ever been troubled by the problem of what to say, this To-day I saw a lot of women who is evidently not the case. And the are Always Trying To Be In Love, Charm Schools come glibly to the and who want to travel right round rescue with the following exercises. "Imagine Jenny eating pork at the world, right round the world, You must sit once more before three." right round the world. They are the mirror (in fact it might be a "How to Talk with Charm” is a the pupils of America's new Charm good idea if

you take

a mirror problem that receives special at-

New Hampshire Molly; Bring the Wagon Home John; By the Light of the Silvery Moon; Bicycle Built for Two; Chinese Honeymoon; Now we come to the most impor- Comrades; Cuddle up a Little Clotant lesson of all. ser; Daisies in the Meadow; Down Where the Cotton Blossoms Grow; Down by the Old Millstream; Dear Old Girl; Dreaming; Evaline; Good-men say. "I love you." night Ladies; Heart of My Heart to cool their ardour. (Story of the Rose); How Can I But what about when THE man Bear to Leave Thee; How Can I says "I love you?" -

And what about those frequent part); Heidelburg; Honey Boy; instances when nothing is further In the Evening by the Afraid to The Charm Schools came to the

Moonlight; from his mind? I Love You Truly, I'm Go Home in the Dark, It's the

of the puzzled maiden with Where I Syme the 'ole World Over; I Want chapters such as these

Ewer Sixteen My Villidchkween

By D. MARTIN

QIX seconds after somebody vamp-

SIX

One who's

ed the opening bars of Sweet Tenor and Leads willing Basses Leave Thee, (how can I from thee Adeline on a venerable ship's piano those who and to try and the best drunk quartette with which think so.

etc. baritone. such. I've ever had the honour to asso- ciate materialized from the open sea.`

down by the old mills tream Six baritones constituted the quar

Where I When I There I tette.

first met choo-00

That fact was mentioned once in With your With true And your With a book on club room singing. And ever since, cultured strangers have

⚫eye zov blue dropped in, usually with slide rules,

dressed in gingham too Latin grammars or metronomes, to“

it was there rye knew prove that I'm neither

That you That she That sh-I mathe- a matician nor a musician.

That's a true.

loved me loved her loved me loved mer proposition that needs no demon- ewer ewer stration. I've never pretended to sixteen sixteen sixteen sixteen

be anything more than an incurable harmony addict. with a mania for knocking at doors of total strangers

That I

too.

true.

ewer

"How to Stalk.

Yes. Stalk for a Man. Sometimes it is awkward when Necessary

Does

a Girl Just Like the Girl; John Kissing Hold a Man," "Does Not Peel; Just a Dream of You Dear; Kissing' Hold a Man?” Just a Wearyin' for You; Let the

"Sex has always played a part in your Rest of the World Go By; Me Call woman's dress," says one of the You Sweetheart, Long Long Trail; booklets. It then points out that Love Me and the World is Mine; even Thuthu, wife of Ani, in 1450 My Bonnie; Mandy Lee; Meet me BC knew a thing or two about Tonight in Dreamland; Nobody making the best of herself. Knows How Dry I yam; Sweet Ade-There weren't any uplift bras- line; Sweet and Low Somebody's sieres in those days, but she knot- Waiting for Me; Show Me the Wayted the high girdle of her

trans- to Go Home, Sweet Rosy O'Grady, parent robe so that the bodice had That Little Old Red Shawl; That the same effect.

Miss Margery Wilson announces

too 'rue,

ewer

my villidch kuwee-een by thee hold mills tream when strains of How Dry 1 Yam We're worth more money! curdle through open windows or seep What'll we sing now? sourly into apartment house corri- about Daisies in the Meadow? dors.

יי

in

-Fine!

that-one

that something more is necessary. Miss Archer, her rival, suggests She strongly advises her pupils to

fall in love, to live, breathe, dress, and die for HIM."

nd die

And now.

Will spread?

these

Charm

Schools

Old Gang of Mine; That's How I Need You; Waiting at the Church; that the certain path to a man's How Wait Till the Sun Shines Nellie;

heart is. to gratify his sense of When the Roll is Called up Yonder;;

chivalry. Some real harmony in Who's Sorry Now: Why I Love Having knocked, 1. button on my

Bill, can't you pitch it You (Tell Me Why-y); When You best smile. “Good evening, brother, a little lower? This is the first were Sweet Sixteen. Pardon the intrusion, but unbiased time I've sung tenor in two years. Of Course some of your favouri- investigation has proved that you

"Day-zees in the meadow . tes aren't there! But the list start- need a baritone" or whatever part

Day-zees on the-

now waita, ed you remembering, didn't it? waita sounds worst or is missing badly.

way tah minute. Lis- Up to this point we have in- The reply has never varied

ten that tenor ought to go like spected the old Songs. Now let's thousands of tests. “My God! Do

"I think they will spread all over look over the current crop of ama- the world," Miss Wilson, one of the this. we know it? Can you sing it?"

teur harmony baying the moon. they which I reply I invented it.

leaders of the movement, told me. Dozens of modern popular songs “Women want to add to their greatest have more potential harmony than charm, and the one thing that will This reply hints delicately at the innate conservatism of members in

audience. anything sung in the dark ages be- make this possible is to give them the Guild. What if every third word

fore son wore his first long pants. POISE. in the Girl in the Heart of Mary-

what to The harmony possibilities are there, "Poise? Yes. Peace and balance. land is missing? Each singer knows

but, Heaven Help Us when an ama I teach the wives exercises that What's another good one? a better one that will fit the rhyme What about Lydia Pinkham?

teur group of very adult Adeline help them to lose their self-con- and rhythm

addicts attempts to solve the har-sciousness and to move without Hell no. Where were you? monies in I'll String Along with Science has proved that it's the We sang that five minutes ago You, The Moon Was Yellow, Stars "Perfect Personality is nothing

thinking of their bodies. Spirit of the sing; and "spirit," ac- (Deep silence Thick gloom) cording to the dictionary is 2. vital Ah! We haven't sung My Bon- Harmonies are inverted, and they says Miss Wilson.

Fell on Alabama, or I Ain't Lazy. more than Bodiless Personality;" force, ardour rum, brandy

"nie yet

must stick closely to the lead And here we have, laid out with Against these emergencies when give the right effects. Few adults to £30 for six personal interviews,

to

And, since she charges from £10 many blushes, what happens when everybody wants to sing, but mem- know how to do the musical flip and claims that her clients become spirited amateurs sing, a spiri ories are vague, here is a list with flop. So they say this modern stuff more charming even after the first number. It's a composite

guaranteed mileage:

is no good! Let's sing Wait Till little chat, from 3789 note book transcription

Old the Sun Shines Nellie.

SHE OUGHT TO

To After five more selections

- decide that it's been the

evening in years.

They do, in spite of the

sing next?

The main question

Aint You Comin Back to

KNOW!