-18-
689
880
■ Jedd "etimos" eft zailfot ,noijselasyno lo fas! Istot end bomis Jose øveḍ deum yoda tedd „bejsivoiso I ,ezonszałk of og bivode Jed‡,"nottulɩver" edt 201· Javoma xidjupa edt solvi anij ́aidd yo need evad blwow Jpemiljɛai buldi odą modë- Bodones voltes em rede Jiew moit geef of eyemem biwos I MIRI yasumal od qu Jadi Bua taon JAUOMA ➡YISVzdek odt mottakez odj·1lo sford I nedv dalj ne 301 Tøjdei ya @vad blwoo yedi eroled „em då var ódź no need ovať bróow .ebonder fs1 betsfusiso „Buonatal JSA „Ozað qut sit helt griómunans ‚änid♪ I mɛible fojaec euce jeu si otvenelg "outo spor al eveIt ki enois ventooge yltosdg, edt een I .atsga ebanov Bldt Ifs nero at eɛaft to digob odd aɛɛ zeven aso vo? · ‚ecenfuiddylai viøft 178
.Juo 31 Maldi neve for „obauow
IIL ‚Beil wen uiisjeb weg d‡iw ‚zeddel Baopak s Jaen I cont eno jadi 10 vaified ai enedi zevo gaidə ed‡ qu qeed of vieresDOŃ ylist bus qu emoo of rell wen ja gjæemlyez elody nestol ofd merg
•gelbr* fi ŋéal od 32 baven
ni Temeje 0 à ¶ zeg jeżeli ya bad i
„kpoetizia el stal tod
of bonecɛ fzow add lọ: jasy jaebusi edi Lezamaşal® 201 Jetsoq ya Joa I,Jdalia emɛ tadð bað .yab thes add taste hunde I each ed
.03 Jon Binne 'bèå 1717 ezedt borelive I yaogs ødt ødkzoɛeb I nes word,I ffade woll'
ed‡ kis vienos jego prøve yď sexsazo),Iddol isdyredo Padź «l gribne zeven opeft lo ezwod Ivläserb edð Ife vfecof pysh grot BEW JI 201 redagïr & to Juo ɣluebiüt qu elav Divas I
.ejistal
‚en of zeloqe bad exɑ emozɛ jad‡ eroriseb geste vojnof on
Jad
ya at gritsOd Paw JILON YM
.moor eit at ybodemoɛ bav ereff
.em kevo ‚I's new-Jue«2"
OVO YM ES ji we? I rest
accused conscience, that had spoken. I lay hours awake, not daring
to move, fearing every sound. I could not stand the dark, kept both
lamps burning all night. In the stillness of the night I heard
the little mouse walking in the room. The nearly unbearable tatter
of the little feet on the linoleun made me get up with a cry of
frenzy. When I heard the door open, the hotel-boy coming in, I
crumpled together out of fear. And never ceasing, not for one minute
the words, the reproaches, the accusations, the threats of my con>-
cience. This could not go on. I felt, I was going to be nad.
Slowly, slowly this undefinable fear for I know not what kept over
mo, ate all my brain power, all my sinews, all my mental capacity.
Then one night, I had my revolver in hand. I loaded and this
was the first moment of rest, I remember, for my tortured and almost
murdered golf. I knew quite well what I was going to do: kill my-
self, to escape from myself. But again that vision of my dear,
beloved wife, toiling and working for my children. I saw the awful
cowardice of my running away and leaving her to the task, that I
I had to fulfil: be the breadwinner of my own wife and children.
saw them all before me, so distinctly, so alive, that I gazed at then, going to speak to them. I thought quite clear now: "This is the
moment of my becoming crasy. And I fell down and sobbed as I had
not done before in my life, on the board of the bedstead. volver fell. I prayed God fervently to kill me, as I could not do
it myself.
The I-
I had read in former times Guy de Maupassant' e"La petite
Rogue".
The agony of the man who had killed her and then was tor- tured by his conscience to Death. I had wondered, how young Mau- passant could have described, so to nature, the long agony; it had
But there seemed to me that he must have felt that all himself.
Į